Partners
by sydney563
Summary: AU- Lauren is a homicide detective assigned Bo as her brand new partner. They don't like each other from the get go and they have to work together on a serial killer case. How will it all go as Laurens past comes up and Bo has her own secrets. I am trying something new, they are human. So we shall see how this all works out! Rated M for violence, crime scenes and sexy times.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer! I do not own these characters! just borrowing them for some good old fun! This is AU- Lauren is a homicide detective and Bo is her new partner. They get off to a rocky start! I am not sure what will happen with this one, so I am posting the first chunk I worked on and see how it goes! I am still working on the sequel, but my brain drifts a lot! enjoy!**

I sat in the car, staring out the front window, more focused on the lake then the crime scene off to my left. I sighed, and leaned my head against the window. The ripples of the lake water was calming me, as my mind drifted to how I got here.

I closed my eyes, I was tired and my eyes desperately wanted to close for a moment. Allowing my memories to take over.

I was fourteen when I mugged the wrong person in the alleys of the big city. I was a street kid, I don't remember what happened to my parents, just that I was bounced in and out of foster homes for all of my life. When I was fourteen I ran away with a small group of kids from the foster home. I was shy and would always stay to the back when the other kids stole, mugged and broke into cars and buildings. Then one night I was pressured to do my first mugging, I set up out side of a local bar and waited for people to come out. I waited for hours until one of the older kids threatened me.

I swallowed hard and rushed the first man I saw come down past the alley I was hiding in. I jabbed my finger in his back, "gimme your money...or...or Ill hurt you."

I didn't get the money, I got a quick backhand across my neck that knocked me fall on my ass. I started crying when I felt myself being picked up by the collar, "son what are you thinking?"

I wouldn't look at the man, I was hurt and crying. He looked closer at me and saw that underneath the dirt and the lice preventing short haircut, I was a little girl. The man set me down gently on my feet, "you are a girl."

I wanted to run, but the man kept a grip on me, "whats you name."

I shook my head, "i don't have one."

he sighed, "everyone has a name, mine is Evan Lewis. I am a police officer." he opened his wallet, I saw the familiar glint of a police badge. It had been the only constant in my life. "where are your parents?"

I shook my head again, "don't have any."

Evan sighed again, "i cant leave you here, and I definitely don't want to take you to juvenile, you wont make it an hour." he stood up and held his hand out to me, "whens the last time you ate?"

I shrugged sniffling. He smiled, "come on, I will buy you dinner." I paused and looked up at the man offering up something I had not had in a long time. He was smiling at me, blue eyes that were clear and honest. Evan had a traditional style haircut for cops, close on the sides and long on the top. He was muscular, his suit fit closely around his arms. For some reason, looking in his eyes, I felt safe and extended my hand for him to take, I whispered, "my name is Lauren." he smiled wide, "nice to meet you Lauren."

Evan did buy me dinner. It turned out he was a Chicago police officer up in the city I lived in for a police function. After doing some extensive research he found out that my foster home was a filth hole, and that I had no family to claim me. So he took me in, became a temporary guardian. Cleaned me up and after a few days I went home to Chicago with him and met his wife, Maggie.

Evan and Maggie, who I now call my dad and mom saved me. After a few months of clean living, the two realized that I wasn't just a street kid, I was extremely intelligent and in time I was tested, I had a genius IQ and against the wishes of my counselors and even my adoptive parents, I passed on medical school and followed my fathers footsteps and became a cop. I was just promoted to detective lieutenant and I could tell that my father was prouder than he wanted to admit.

* * *

The gentle tap on the passenger window startled me. I looked over and saw a uniformed officer, who I was certain was no older than twenty one years old, smiling at me. I grabbed the keys out of the ignition and got out of the stale air inside the car. I walked to the front end to meet with the young officer. He was eager and I could tell this was his first large crime scene, "Detective Lieutenant Lewis, they are ready for you."

I pulled my long blonde hair back into a ponytail, "Just call me Lt." I motioned to him to take me over to the crime scene. He nodded and jogged lightly back to the crime scene, surrounded by other uniformed officers. I frowned as I had to push through them to step under the yellow crime scene tape. I looked up and saw my sometimes partner, Alex Cambridge, bending over holding up a sheet that covered a body.

I stared at Alex as I pulled on my gloves, he was lean and handsome, I often made fun of his beard since I knew it was to hide how much of a baby face he had. Alex was kind to me but far from my type. We worked well together when I was forced to have a partner, but I had avoided being permanently assigned a partner for years, well before I was promoted. He was the only one I could work with, he understood how I thought and how I preferred to work alone and my work over human interaction.

"what do we have, Alex." I moved to kneel on the other side of the body.

"hey there Lt." he smiled at me, "it looks like its a simple murder and attempted body dump." he motioned over to the edge of the industrial complex we were in. it was on he south side of the city and the river cut through it. The crime scene was less than twenty feet from the river. "looks like they didn't quite make it into the water."

I shook my head, for as much work as it took to murder someone, why not follow through and dump the body. "give me the details."

"looks like its a middle aged male, he has a lot of blunt force trauma to his face, left side. No defense wounds, so I am thinking he was caught by surprise and knocked out." I looked at the body, the victim was unrecognizable, his face had swollen around the trauma to his eyes and forehead. There was blood everywhere and I could not readily see any massive wound to clue in why there was so much blood. Alex lifted the sheet more, "this is the weird part." he pointed to under the body by the head. "there are pages out of a book under the head. I cant figure out what they are, but you can tell they have been placed there after death."

I bent down closer and saw the pages, "its Latin. The pages are ancient Latin." I turned around and motioned to one of the uniforms to bring me a set of tweezers and a evidence bag. When both were in my hand, I gently pulled one of the pages out from under the victims head. I dropped them into the bag, sealed it and handed it back to the uniform, "take this to the lab now, I want the results and copies on my desk before I return." my tone was harder than I wanted, but I was tired and the number of dead bodies had been piling up lately. The uniform nodded and disappeared.

Alex shot me a grin, "ball buster."

I shook my head, "i am not, they all know I am all about my work and my work alone. I don't need friends."

"thatch why you have the nickname, ice queen."

I stood up, "thanks for reminding me Alex." the nickname had started months ago when I began to focus more on my work and disconnect from my coworkers. I was overwhelmed with the new case load and I hadn't really been myself since she died.

I stripped off the gloves, crumpling them into a self contained ball, "i will meet you back at the station. Have the coroner rush the results, and I will start the paperwork on this one."

"sure thing Lauren" he stood up as well, I shook my head as he used my first name. He was the only one in the entire department who dared use my first name, but again he was the only person I trusted and could call friend. Alex had proven his friendship to me in one of the hardest times of my life. Alex spoke quickly, "i heard the captain wants to meet with you? Something about a new partner?" he smirked. Alex knew how much I hated having partners. I groaned and leaned my head back, "no. no. no."

Alex held up the crime scene tape for me, "oh yes, yes, yes. You cant keep escaping it. Captain Jameson has run out of patience with you. Our case load is increasing, my new partner starts tomorrow. It was only a matter of time."

I frowned, "why cant they just assign us together? You already know how I work, when to leave me alone." my logical mind began to run through different scenarios and reasoning of why Alex would be a better fit than a fresh faced uniformed who just passed their detective test.

Alex laughed, "we are both getting rookies, the detective bureau needs new blood, captains exact words."

I said nothing and shook my head as I walked back to the detective car. A worn down old black cruiser, I had managed to claim it as my own and disinfect the entire thing. I sat down and rested my forehead against the steering wheel. A partner. I slammed the keys into the ignition and drove back to the station, a thousand different reasons why I didn't need or want one in my head.

* * *

I sat down in my desk chair, looking out of my corner office window. It was one of the benefits of being a lieutenant, I finally, after ten years, got a room with a view. My office was neat and orderly, random science books mingled with law books. I had begun to take an interest into science and research over the last few years, my IQ was always in constant need of new information. Since I was beginning to burn out as a police detective, I needed to re energize until I was eligible for a early retirement. I sighed as I switched my computer on, maybe I should have gone to medical school.

I sorted through department emails when my phone rang, I picked it up, "detective Lewis."

"hello Lauren, its Betty. The Captain would like to see you in his office, about twenty minutes ago." Betty was Captain Jamesons secretary, a lovely older woman that was the only other person in my work life that I allowed to call me by first name. I felt that I had to maintain a border between work and personal and the lynch pin was my first name. Far too personal in my mind.

I rubbed a hand over my eyes, "tell him I will be down in a minute." I hung up the phone and grumbled to myself. I knew I would be meeting the new partner I did not want.

I grabbed the coroners report from the kid who was on the way to my office and flipped through it in the elevator on the way. It was preliminary field report, the autopsy would be done later on in the evening. I just wanted some paper to begin the case file. I glanced over the little details that I had already gotten from Alex. The elevator dinged and the door opened, revealing the quiet of the administration floor. It was cleaner than the rest of the station, the only reason was because the public would spend more time on this floor than anywhere else. I smiled as stepped and saw Betty at her desk. She stood up and met me at the captains door, I could hear his voice, talking about random facts about the department in his political tone. I sighed and nodded to Betty as she pushed open the door. I followed her in as she made motion to the captain to let me know I was there.

Captain Ed Jameson was a old friend of my father and always treated me with respect and often ignored my strange private ways. He was as old as my father but all of his hair had gone white, he was still a handsome older man, his looks highlighted by the white, blue and gold police uniform he wore. He smiled a wide mouth of white teeth my way, "ah! Detective Lieutenant Lewis, glad you could make it." he motioned for me to take a seat next to someone that I barely looked at. I knew it was my new partner and I secretly hoped the less I looked at them the quicker they would disappear, getting fed up with my icy demeanor. I sat down and crossed my legs, setting the case file on my lap. I smiled, "apologies for being a little bit late, but Det. Cambridge and I caught a new case."

Jameson leaned against his desk nodding, "good good. This will be a perfect start. Lt. Lewis, I would like you to meet your new partner, Officer Bo Dennis." he motion to the person sitting next to me, "oh excuse me, I mean Detective BO Dennis." I sighed and looked over at my new rookie partner.

What I saw, it caught me by surprise. I was expecting a young fresh faced male, but instead I was staring at one of the most beautiful women I had ever met in my life. Bo Dennis was still wearing her street police blues and her brown hair was up in a tight bun. Her brown eyes were like chocolate and her wide smile, well I knew instantly that smile would have a profound impact on me. I smiled tightly and took the hand that was extended to me, Bo spoke in a eager, excited tone, "its so great to meet you, Detective Lieutenant Lewis, I have heard so much about you and your work. I have read some of your psychology essays that were published." when our hands met, hers was warm and gentle, squeezing mine a little bit before letting go. I quickly filled my hand with the case file, embarrassed at how much I missed the contact of her hand on mine.

I kept my tight smile, "thank you." I looked at her, "how long have you been with the department?"

"about five years, I almost beat your score on the detective test." she shrugged and smiled, "only missed it by five points."

I nodded, "only five points." my tone came off cold, but I wasn't one for small social chatter. I looked at Jameson, glaring at him, "please tell me that this is just one case and then I am back to solo work." I could feel Bo tense up next to me, I honestly preferred to be alone and had learned over the years that following through with the image of ice queen, kept people away from me. I could focus on closing cases and do my work, my way.

Jameson scowled at me, "this is an indefinite assignment, Lt. You know how much the case load has been increasing, we need more detectives and you are one of the best, I need you to train others to be as good as you." he nodded at Bo, "she is one of the best patrol officers and has come highly recommended."

we stared at each other, I knew I would not be able to negotiate out of this. I sighed and stood up, "alright, but I cannot promise anything, Jameson. You know my partners do not last long." I tucked the file under my arm and looked at my new partner, "we have work to do, this is day one."

I moved to the door, opened and walked out. Bo had to scramble to grab her stuff and chase after me. Jameson yelled at me, "Lewis, halt, come back her for a moment."

I glanced at Bo, "i will be back."

I walked back to Jamesons office, he closed the door partially, "look Lauren, I know you hate having partners, and its evident you only work alone. But my hands are tied. This might actually be good for you. You know they call you the ice queen around here." I could tell he felt bad saying it, "just try with this one, she is street smart and will be a good detective. You are stuck with her, so don't try and make her quit or make her cry."

I smiled, "that was only one time." I had made one of my new partners cry when I was a road officer. I would not speak to the kid for hours on end, and when I did it was nothing but what he was doing wrong, and how he could improve on his techniques. He fell apart when I redid all of his reports because they didn't meet my standards. He quit the training program and last I saw him, he was working security at the sports arena.

Jameson looked at me, "please Lauren, I am close to retirement and its my last wish to see you actually have a partner for more than a week. Let me have that?"

I laughed, "One month, no more. That's only because you are one of my dads best friends." I winked at him and walked back to bo, who was standing exactly as I left her waiting for me to return. As soon as she saw me, she hit the call button and smiled as I stood next to her. "what kind of case do we have?"

her voice was full of eagerness to get to work, and maybe twinge with a hint of trying to impress me. I stepped to the back of the elevator and leaned my head against the back of the elevator car, "murder." I was overloaded with cases, I had ten open ones and had begun consult work with the FBI for cold cases and helping them with evidence processing techniques. I was not in the mood or really had the time to deal with a eager newbie.

"what kind of murder?" I was annoyed even by how her voice oozed excitement and eagerness, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"the kind that leaves us with a dead body." I gave Bo a look, my eyes drifted to her baby blue uniform top and how it fit really well around her chest, I knew I was staring so I distracted myself and my eyes, "you know that you don't need to wear that anymore."

Bo smiled, "they called me first thing this morning that I was promoted, its all I really have." she looked down at her uniform, fidgeting with her belt. Even her gun looked sexy as it perched on a angle on her hip.

I sighed as the elevator doors opened, I walked out. Once again my new partner had to keep up with me.

I could see Alex with his feet up on my desk, I walked in and pushed his feet off my desk, "you know I hate that."

he smiled, "i know, that's why I do it." he sat up and tossed a file at me, "here is the preliminary report. Oh and where is your new partner?"

"Right here." Bo walked into the office, causing Alex to give himself whiplash. He looked at Bo and then back at me and mouthed, "oh my god."

I shook my head as Bo held out her hand, "i am Bo, Lauren's new partner."

Alex took her hand and cringed as I heard my first name, he looked at me warily.

I didn't bother to look up from the file Alex had given me, I just spoke, "Detective Dennis, do not use my first name. You may refer to me as Detective Lieutenant Lewis, or as most use here, Lieutenant or LT. for short." I looked up up her glaring, "but do not use my first name, only those I trust and my family call me by my first name."

I could see the color rise fast in Bo's face, hiding back embarrassment or rage, it didn't matter to me. The tension rose thick in the room, Alex cleared his throat and attempted to ease the air, "its great to meet you Bo, I am Alex Cambridge, you can call me Alex." he smiled his charming grin that had broken a many of the secretarial pools heart, "Don't worry about Lt over here, it takes some time to get used to her."

I glared at him, but I could see the color fall from Bo's face, he had rescued her for the moment. She let out the breath she was holding and smiled, "Thank you Alex, I am happy to be in the detective bureau. Even if some aren't." the last part she whispered out, hoping I wouldn't hear it.

I had already looked over the entire file, I scribbled a few notes and names on the paper and handed it over to bo, "Detective, we have our victims name. Will you go run him and pull everything we have?"

Bo grabbed the paper, eager to be doing something, "where do I look?"

"the basement, that is where the computer is. The lien system only has current info, I need everything. Ask for Ed, he may or may not be asleep down there, but if he is awake, ask him about his days on the road. He will warm up to you and give you what you need faster."

She smiled and nodded and walked out of the office. Alex watched her walk out, less than innocently. I threw a paper clip at him, "don't make her key your car like that one secretary did after one of your infamous one night stands."

Alex chuckled, "she is super hot, Lewis. Like unbearably out of control hot and that uniform, good lord. Can you imagine for a minute whats under there?" he shook his head.

I clenched my jaw, I did want to imagine but wasn't going too. My main goal was to shake this Bo Dennis loose as fast as possible. Alex was right though, Bo was incredibly beautiful and there was something about her that drew me in as much as it annoyed me.

Alex threw his feet back up on the edge of my desk, "oh and dick move sending her to Eddie. You know he wont shut up if asked about the whole two months he was on the road. The poor girl will be down there for hours, maybe even days."

I shrugged, "call it a learning curve? I wanted to look over the file in silence, before I get the second round of twenty questions from her."

I returned to the file, "Is there anything that stands out on this case in your eyes, Alex? I didn't see anything out of the ordinary."

Alex dropped his feet from the desk, and flipped a page in the file as it sat in front of me, his finger pointing at a paragraph from Dr. waters, the medical examiner. "Dr. Waters was able to find some attempts at a carving in the lower back of the victim."

I flipped to the autopsy pictures, Dr. Waters was able to put a rush on the autopsy since it was the first body of the morning and her had a small crush on me. I found the one of the lower back, the left side and could see what Alex mentioned. Some one had attempted to carve "Ego to Prevoco" I stared at it and wrote the phrase down and quickly translated it. I had spent most of my youth studying Latin as part of religious education my mother attempted before she realized that science was more important than a dead language. I looked at Alex, "it reads I provoke you. Someone must have a sense of humor." I handed him the file, "other than it reads like a robbery gone bad, no personal belongings on the guy, and he has defensive wounds." I slid the file to Alex and rubbed at the bridge of my nose. I was tired, and this case was amplifying it. Alex sat quietly as he read over the file. I stood up and went to the corner window in my office, I was the lucky detective who had won the corner office in the raffle. Anytime someone retired and a choice office was up for grabs, we held a raffle. All of the money would go into the police athletic league, and the winner would have the office until their retirement. I won the office, but no one knew that I had spent over a thousand dollars to get the corner office. I loved the view I had out onto the city and the river, it was often the sole reason I did not file my early retirement paperwork. I watched as sailboats enjoyed the first warm spring day, dotting the river and lake like small white paper boats. I smiled as I watched them.

I heard something slam down onto my desk and I turned to see a flushed new detective, bo's face was red and she was standing, arms folded and give me a evil look, "i get that you don't want me here, but you are stuck with me. I had to pry Eddie off the chair to get him to help me and then he wouldn't shut the hell up. When I finally got him to stop telling me about his first real traffic stop, he hit on me." she was clenching her jaw, "i know I am a rookie, and I will have to go through the rookie process, but you need to understand Detective Lieutenant Lewis, I am not going anywhere." my full title came out of her mouth full of venom.

I could see Alex trying to not laugh out loud, I shot him a look, "well Detective Dennis, did you get what I asked for?" I was not about to let this woman, who was even more beautiful with a slight blush on her face, get to me.

Bo took a deep breath before she pointed to the file, "that's the printout of our victim, David Ellroy. 29, no real record aside from a few parking tickets. Medical student at the university, about to enter his last year before taking a residency at city hospital." Her eyes never left mine as she rattled off the basics with clear and crisp irritation in her voice.

I nodded, "very good, I sat down at my chair and flipped through the file." my ignoring of Bo must have set her off.

"now I fully understand why they all call you the ice queen." she spoke it loud and clear. I heard Alex choke slightly and he stood up, "uh, I am going to grab a cup of coffee." he made his quick exit, knowing what was to come next.

I met Bo's eyes, "excuse me?"

Bo laughed lightly, "you heard me. Ice Queen. The entire department calls you that. Now I see why." Bo took a deep breath, "i was excited to be partnered up with you, I have always heard amazing things about the great Detective Lauren Lewis, always leaving the back gossip to just be gossip. But now, I can agree with the rest of the department. You are an ice queen, you are rude and cold."

I stared at Bo, I didn't want to show her that her words to sting a little bit. I was an ice queen, but I wanted to keep people at a distance. Ever since I lost my one true love, I never wanted to connect with anyone anymore. It was easier to live my life quiet and solitary. I measured my words carefully, "All you need to do to succeed here, is to listen, be quiet and ignore what others think of me. IF you do that you might actually learn something other than to have unprofessional outburst in front of my coworkers." I tossed her and empty file, "make yourself useful and start the formal case file."

Bo was taken aback by my lack of response, I knew she was expecting me to get red face and passionate, but I didn't, I did not want to show this woman standing in front of me that she could inspire any sort of emotional reaction from me. IT was bad enough that her uniform shirt and the way it hugged her curves was already inspiring unprofessional thoughts in my mind.

Bo stared at me hard for a minute before sitting where Alex had been, she began to fill out the paperwork before pausing again, "you don't have to be like this with me, Lieutenant. I am not like the rest." she waited for a reaction and when I gave her none she returned to the paperwork. When she was done, she slid the file back to me, "what's next?"

I didn't look at her, "you can go home for the day. Tomorrow we start, meet me here at eight."

Bo smiled wide, and stood up. "Sounds good." her rookie eagerness to solve the worlds crime was back in full effect. She stepped out the door and turned to me, "goodnight Lieutenant." she smiled lightly and I caught a glimpse of a dimple on the right side of her face.

I swallowed, "remember, you no longer have to wear that uniform." I motioned with my pen at her baby blue shirt and the long dark blue polyester pants.

Bo nodded and smiled, "i wondered how long it would take you to ask me to take my uniform off." before I could respond she walked to the elevator and disappeared. I was left with thoughts of, did my rookie just openly flirt with me?

* * *

I opened the front door to my lake house and threw the mail on the massive stack that was piling up on the side table. I threw my keys into the bowl next to the stack, kicking the door close, I dropped my things as I moved to the kitchen. My house was spotless and perfectly organized to a tee, except for my mail. I had all of my bills on autopsy, the rest was junk mail and a few lingering sympathy cards I never opened. They were the main reason my mail piled up, there were things in there I wanted to avoid. My mother would come over every so often and quietly sort through it for me, leaving the cards in a separate stack that would just be covered up, waiting for her to clear them again.

I opened the industrial sized fridge and frowned when all there was staring back at me, was a gallon of organic milk, a few random pieces of fruit and two bottles of beer. I grabbed a bottle of beer and opened it, sipping as I wrote on the dry erase note board on the fridge door, "Buy groceries Lauren, or you will starve."

I moved to my living room and sat in the massive leather chair that I had splurge purchased when we moved into the house. It faced the large picture window that looked out onto the lake. I was on the edge of the lake, on a quieter part of the city. I could sit and look endlessly out into the gentle water, it was the one thing that always calmed me down. I leaned into the chair, my legs up on the edge of the coffee table where most of my case work rested. I stared at the water, the sun dipping down into dusk, the falling suns rays glinting small star bursts of light at me with each ripple. I thought about my new partner. She was gorgeous that was for sure, but I had to be careful about my thoughts. It had been a long time since Elle, and I had shut down that part of my heart and brain when I lost her.

I stood up, my head suddenly heavy with memories. I pulled the front window curtains close, shutting out the sun and the star bursts. I finished the beer and went upstairs to my bedroom. I stripped out of my pantsuit, hanging it up delicately in my closet. I placed my gun in its holster on my night side table, it was my only constant companion. I changed my clothes and pulled on a old marathon shirt and a pair of sleep shorts. I sat down in the middle of my bed and tried to read over the file of David Ellroy.

David was a normal kid, working through college to become a doctor and help the human race. It seemed he had nothing outstanding in his life that would point towards him being a target. Normally I would have passed this off as a possible random crime, but the Latin phrase stuck out as unusual. Most quick crimes were just that. Quick and to the point. Someone had taken the time to carve a signature. I sat for a couple hours, reading over the entire file and making notes of who to talk to. David had listed a Katie Thompson on his university in case of emergency list, it was possible she was family or a girlfriend. She would be the first stop of the new day tomorrow. I closed the file, rubbed at my eyes and stared at the bookshelves that surrounded the walls around me. My bedroom was massive but over the last year, I began to fill it with books, a ton of research books about criminal psychology. I roamed my eyes over the spines of all the titles I had collected, I stopped when I came across the picture of Elle and I.

I crawled out of my bed and picked it up. It was a picture of her and I on vacation in new york city. It was the very first vacation we had taken together, we were standing under the Brooklyn bridge, Elle was kissing my cheek and I was smiling wide, to the point I am sure my face hurt. I ran a finger over Elles face, I whispered to no one but my books, "i miss you so much." I closed my eyes, letting my memory drift back to how I met her.

* * *

It was my fifth year in the department. I was just a patrol officer still learning the how to be a patrol officer. I loved that everyday was never the same, but at the same time my frustration was beginning to build at what I had to see on a daily basis. One weekend I was assigned by my shift sergeant to work the police athletic league event at the convention center. Apparently there was a large conference for urban renewal contractors, developers and architects. The chief at the time wanted to make sure that the police department was represented. By represented he meant getting the rich out of towners to donate to the PAL and the department. He hand picked me because he said I looked like I came from money and assigned me with one of the guys I had gone to the academy with.

I sighed as I walked into the convention center, wearing my dress uniform and feeling awkward in a sea of cocktail dresses and suits that cost at least three months of paychecks. I looked over at my shoulder and yelled at my companion for the evening. I only remembered his last name, Donnelly. Donnelly and I had gone to the academy together, I was top of the class and he was near the bottom.

I groaned as Donnelly ignored me, he was talking to a few random ladies at the front bar. I was left to set up the meet and greet table alone. When everything was perfect I stood behind it, all perfect myself and did my best to engage with every passerby. I was able to swindle a handful of money out of the masses of people hoping to bring new hope to the city. After a couple of hours, I began to grow tired of the fake smiles and laughs, the sympathy looks. I sat down and would blindly utter my well practiced lines to whomever stop long enough. I eventually gave up looking at who stopped.

I was reading one of my books that I placed on my lap, out of view of my possible donations. I sighed as I read over how the serial killers mind worked, when I heard a soft feminine voice ask, "if I donate to the PAL, will it buy kids dodge balls?"

I sighed, my eyes still on the paragraph of inhibitors in the brains chemistry, and I rattled off the practiced speech, "ma'am, if you decide to donate, your donation will be put to good use. Purchasing much needed sports equipment for the many sports teams for inner city kids. Giving them a chance at something fun, team building and community orientated." I was even bored at my own monotone voice.

"well, that sounds fantastic, officer. But my main reason in asking is, will my money go to buying kids dodge-balls? So the kids can pelt each other with rubber balls and learn how to compete to the death?"

I furrowed my brow and looked at the person behind one of the most unusual comments I had heard. What I saw made me stand up. Before me stood a tall, elegant woman. Her auburn hair was pulled back into a tight, classic hairstyle. She smiled at me and it seemed to me that the smile carried up into her dark blue eyes. I dropped my gaze to the almost fire engine red dress this woman was wearing, off the shoulder, floor length and showed off her shape just enough to still be decent but sexy. I cleared my throat, I knew I was staring, but this woman was beautiful. "yes ma'am. Your money will go to buying kids sporting equipment."

The woman laughed, "i was just kidding, officer..." she trailed off. It was my cue to introduce myself.

I pointed at my name tag, I was fumbling, "Officer Lewis." I tapped at my name tag, watching as her eyes went to it. I tried to recover and held my hand out, "Officer Lauren Lewis."

the woman took my hand, her hand was warm and I felt electricity when her hand was firm against mine, "well Officer Lauren Lewis, its nice to meet you. Elle Adair." she smiled as I held onto her hand longer than necessary, I was mesmerized by her. I quickly let go, wanting to jam my hands into my pocket, but I couldn't. So I filled them with fliers.

Elle smiled, "i saw you from across the room, looking extremely bored. I had to find out why." she nodded her head towards the bar, "I saw your partner over there, talking to some of the Chicago bear cheerleaders. I realized that you were an abandoned police officer. I apologize if I caught you by surprise." Her eyes never left mine.

I could feel the heat rise in me, from embarrassment and nerves. "Donnelly never actually made it to the table. He abandoned me from the start."

"I can keep you company. I am as equally as bored, I am only here at my bosses request and have long run out of patience for the shop talk going on." she picked up a flier and glanced over it, "i would love to hear some police stories and in trade I will help wiggle some more money out of these fat cats wallets with you."

she smiled at me and I felt my heart leap in my chest.

I smiled, "i have a couple of stories."

Elle came around the table and sat down in the chair I had for Donnelly, she reached and grabbed my hand, "i would love to hear them."

I sat with Elle for the rest of the night, I told her about when I chased a junkie down the street and when I caught up to him, he stabbed me with an old school ruler that he had sharpened into a point. He later told me that I looked like one of the nuns at his catholic school. I also told her the story of being the first officer on scene to a rollover accident, I stayed with the woman trapped inside until they cut her free. I held her hand and told her bad jokes and every year on the date, I get a card from her, with one terrible joke in it and a thank you. Elle smiled at that story and placed a hand on my knee, making me almost jump out of my skin.

In between my few stories and the both of us getting more donations, Elle told me about herself. She was an architect for a large firm in the city and she had designed a lot of the new buildings that had popped up around the city. The ones that looked like they had always belonged in the city, fitting in with the existing landscape and designed to look like the buildings from the twenties. She also told me that she was on the verge of a new contract to expand the hospital, building a larger children ward. I smiled as I watched how excited she was talking about her work. Overall I was smiling because I was enjoying every minute of being with this woman.

Donnelly ran over to me, cutting off Elle telling me about her first design. "yo Lewis, wrap this shit up. Its time to go, and I have a hot date!" he waggled a napkin with pen scribbled on it. I wanted to punch him, one for abandoning me and two interrupting Elle. He looked at me when I didn't immediately jump up, "seriously Lewis, hurry up. I will be at the car, I'm leaving in ten minutes, with or without you." he walked away and back to the bar.

I clenched my jaw. I stood up, "i am sorry about that, he is my only ride back and I certainly don't want to have to ride the bus or a cab back in this." I motioned to the blue police uniform I was in.

Elle stood up, smiling as if her smile never left her face, "he seems like a jerk."

"you have no idea." I started scooping up fliers and dumping them into the box. I turned to Elle, taking a breath, "thank you. For sitting with me, keeping me company, and it was great to meet you." I drifted off, I didn't want to leave this woman.

Elle reached over to my chest pocket, slowly pulling one of my pens out. "here is my number, call me when you ditch the jerk. Maybe we can have a drink or grab something to eat?" she scribbled her name and phone number on the box top. She clicked the pen and slowly put it back in my pocket. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I also found that I was unable to say anything.

Elle grabbed my hand and squeezed it, "till then Officer Lauren Lewis." she tapped my name badge before walking away from me.

* * *

It was my turn to run after Donnelly and hustle him into the car. I made him drive as fast as possible back to the station, I threw the box of fliers into the storage closet, dropped off the donation money with the desk sergeant and ran to the locker room. I changed in record time and as I walked out of the station, I pulled out my phone and dialed the phone number my photographic memory memorized on first glance of Elle writing it on the box.

I walked down the city streets as the phone rang, it was early evening and the city felt alive and I fed off the energy around me. The phone rang twice before I heard Elle's voice, "hello?"

I smiled and attempted a joke, "this is Officer Lauren Lewis, I was calling to follow up on how your experience was today with the police department?" I cringed at how awkward I sounded.

"it was amazing, this one blonde lady cop kept me intrigued the whole night." She paused, "hello Lauren." I could feel her smile through the phone.

"hi." I was extremely nervous, this woman had quite an effect on me already. I didn't know what to say, there was a short awkward silence.

"so, dinner or drinks? Both?" elle's voice filled the air.

"yes to both, I am starving and could use a cocktail." I stopped in my steps, "where do you want to meet?"

"there's an outdoor restaurant at millennium park, meet me there in say half hour?"

"i will be there." I turned around and started towards millennium park, I dropped my phone in my pocket and jogged the rest of the way. Smile firmly placed on my face the whole way.

The park was busy but not overwhelming, the fall evening was just cool enough for a light jacket but perfect for a night outside. Tourists and locals were all enjoying the beginnings of a beautiful fall. I walked up the steps and looked for Elle. I was expecting to see her standing in her red dress, a beacon of beauty in the middle of the city. Instead I found her standing at the top of the stairs, smiling as she saw me. She was dressed down but still gorgeous, her hair was down in a ponytail, she was wearing a white v-neck with a grey dress jacket over it, dark blue jeans and what made me smile the most was her grey converse.

I walked up to her, "hi." I was still very awkward and without my uniform and the sense of bravado it always offered me, I was now just a girl in jeans and a button down, being very shy.

Elle smiled, "officer. I am glad you could make it." she motioned to the restaurant, "shall we?"

I nodded and followed her to a table that she had already reserved for us. I was excited to be again in the company of this woman. We sat and had dinner, drinks and conversation. Elle was intelligent and funny, she would talk about her work with such passion that it made me like her even more. She told me about some of the buildings that she wanted to renovate to maintain the history of chicago before it all disappeared into modern design. I would watch as her eyes would light up as she talked about her work. When it was my turn, I told her about how I fell into police work, took a different route from being a doctor like my mother wanted. I was drawn to helping people and I had been entertaining returning to school and perhaps going into medicine. Putting what I had learned about the human mind on the streets and mixing it with medicine in hopes of helping more. I was eligible for an early retirement in a few years and I would only be in my late thirties if I entered medical school. I also rambled on about some of my side projects of psychology and studying the human mind. Elle giggled lightly and asked if I was genius. I blushed and admitted that I was rated as one at an early age and my mind was just always searching for more, even as the crimes I saw everyday were a new puzzle for me to put together. Her only remark to my comment, was her reaching across and taking my hand and telling me I was a very beautiful genius. Which of course made me blush.

The rest of the evening we people watched and chatted. At the end of the dinner I offered to walk Elle home, she was only a few blocks away.

"i cannot let you walk home alone without offering the best personal police protection." I smiled, I wanted to draw out the evening as long as possible. I was smitten with this amazing woman.

Elle squinted at me, "well I guess that is an offer I cannot pass up, Officer."

I held my arm out, "after you."

she laughed lightly and grabbed my elbow. We walked down the city streets, the city was always more alive at night. The lights, the sounds and the way people just moved through it with a lesser sense of urgency. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I felt Elle pull closer into me and move her hand down into mine. She looked at me for a second to see if I would object, I just squeezed her hand tighter in mine. Pulling a smile from her face.

We arrived at her house quicker than I hoped. I walked her up the front steps and when she opened the front door, I opened my mouth and hoped I wouldn't stumbled through my words, "um, thank you. This was lovely." I cringed, "you have my number if you want to hear some more of my cop stories, or hear how your dodge balls are doing." I was so awful at casual easy conversation.

Elle smiled and said nothing, she just stepped closer to me. She reached up with both of her hands and placed them on the side of my face. I could feel my heart racing. She smiled as her deep blue eyes met mine, "i want to hear them all, Lauren." I wanted to say something but Elle closed the gap between us. Kissing me. It was a soft but amazing kiss. It took me a moment to react but when I did, I put my hands on her hips and pulled her closer into me. I felt her smile against my mouth before pulling back. "goodnight, Officer." she drew slow fingers down my jaw before letting her hand drop. She winked at me before heading into her house and closing the door.

I stood there for a moment. Taking in the moment and trying so hard not to run down the stairs in excitement.

* * *

After that first date, Elle and I became inseparable. Two years into our relationship we bought the house facing the lake. It was a foreclosure that Elle was able to get the inside scoop on before it was advertised. We bought it and renovated it to exactly what Elle wanted in a dream house. After the house was done we began to plan our lives together, she was finishing up the hospital contract and was going to open her own firm with one of the other architects she worked with. I had been promoted to the detective bureau a few months after that first date, but now I was working on leaving the police department and follow through on going back to school and becoming a doctor. I wanted a more stable lifestyle that wouldn't have me shot at every night. Everything was going perfect.

Then one night while I was standing knee deep in a dumpster, looking at the dead prostitute that was dumped in there by her pimp, Alex ran up to me with a look on his face I had never seen before. "lauren, its elle."

I looked at him, he rarely called me by my first name. He and I had met in the first few months of my promotion. We became fast friends, almost like the brother I never had and he, in turn, became close with Elle. We would share dinners together, double date and it was becoming a small family. Him calling me by my first name, I knew something was wrong. "what's wrong?"

He handed me his cell phone, "its your dad. He is at the hospital."

I began to feel panic rise in my body as I climbed out of the dumpster and grabbed the cell phone. "dad? Whats going on?"

my fathers tone was soft, "you need to come to the hospital now. Theres been an accident."

I threw the phone back at Alex and ran to a marked patrol car and drove to the hospital, lights and sirens on.

I ran to my father, standing in the waiting room of the emergency room. He said nothing and took me back to the trauma room. Before he opened the door he grabbed my hand, "there was an accident. Elle was on her way home. A truck lost control when a car cut it off, the truck driver lost control and it slammed into Elle. " I looked at him, shaking my head. "no."

He nodded, "i will be out here if you need me." he opened the door and stood outside. I walked in slowly and what I saw in the bed, brought me to my knees.

I didn't leave her side for a few days until she died slowly in her sleep. The doctor tried telling me that her internal injuries were extensive and that it would have been a harder life if she had lived. He gave me the specifics of the accident, Elles car had rolled multiple times and it took the firefighters an hour to get her out of the wreck. I stared at him blankly and before he finished I walked away from him, and went home. Where I fell apart, sobbing uncontrollably and curling up in the middle of the bed. The day before the funeral, I was sorting through our closet, looking for some of the jewelry Elles mom had requested for the viewing, I found a small box with my name on it. I opened it up, there were two simple platinum bands nestled in the center. A small note was stuffed in the lid, I opened it up and my heart broke all over again. "Lauren, I know we were going to wait a little longer. But I cant, I love you and want to marry you in a pool of dodge balls." my tears fell onto the note and I wiped them away quickly before they washed the last little bit of elle I had left.

After the funeral, I shut down and buried myself in work. I moved up quickly to Lieutenant because of how fast I closed cases, and became the ice queen of the department. I didn't care, I had lost the one thing that kept me alive and all I had now was my work.

* * *

I sighed and set the photograph of Elle and I down. I laid down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I had not felt anything like I did with Elle in years. But when I looked at Bo, I felt something. Whether it was lust or irritation, I had yet to figure it all out. I drifted off to sleep my head full of many things, one being that I wished my new partner was uglier.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up earlier than I wanted too, sleep was something that was escaping me each day as my case load increased. I would be lucky if I got a solid six hours of sleep. I showered, dressed and went into work. It was just a little after four in the morning. The city was quiet and seemed to echo my feelings. I loved the department early in the morning, the midnight shift was busy at the start but slowed down right before shift change, the officers on this shift we very quiet and always smiled at me when I came in. it appeared they never got the ice queen memo.

I slipped into my office and sat behind my desk. I went to work on other case files I had, signing off on the other detectives cases. The only down fall of becoming Lieutenant was that I had to sign off on many cases. It was interesting to read over others works, but frustrating when I caught minor mistakes that drove my OCD wild. Two hours later I saw Alex come in, two cups in his hand he swayed into my office.

"morning LT, another sleepless night?" he handed me one of the cups, "hot green tea, no sweetener, splash of honey and two ice cubes." he winked at me as I smiled and took the cup.

"it only took you a year to get my order right, thank you Alex. How did you know I would be in this early?"

He sat down, feet up on the edge of my desk, "dont praise me for my memory, the girl at the coffee shop has been making your drink for the last two years, she helps me out with that." he leaned back looking at my bookshelves, "i know you, Lauren. You get stressed out and you stop sleeping so you come to work to work and stress out some more." he raised his eyebrows at me, "you have patterns that you never seem to break, only stick to harder."

I shook my head, "its nice to see that you actually do have detective skills." I looked at him, "why are you here early? You usually don't come in for another four hours."

he laughed, "this is true. I have to go to the morgue in an hour, we picked up another body yesterday afternoon. It will be my rookies first time in the morgue." he waggled his eyebrows, "wanna make a bet?"

I sighed, "normally I would, especially with your rookie he loses it on the floor in the first ten minutes of looking at the body." I did have to admit, I was lucky in getting Bo. Alex's new partner was straight from the suburbs and knew someone in city council and was able to get a spot in the detectives. He was barely experienced on the streets and I could tell even Alex was struggling to keep his cool. "how about you? What kind of hell you going to put your rookie through, LT? Make her hand file all of the old fingerprint cards from the last twenty years, or maybe have her scrub your car with toothbrush?"

"I have an interview set up with the victims emergency contact from his university form. I need to start somewhere since there is very little in physical evidence." I sifted through some papers and notes. I rubbed at the side of my temples.

Alex dropped his feet and leaned forward, "you doing okay? You have seemed a little off your game lately."

I shrugged, "you know I hate having partners."

he shook his head, "no, I have been noticing it for a while now, well before that amazing looking woman became your partner." he let out a breath, "you need to get on that, if you dont I will."

I shot him a frown, "don't. Leave her be, at least leave one woman in this department untouched, and no I do not need to get on that. Furthest thing from my mind." I leaned back in my chair, "i am just really tired, Alex. Tired of the never ending cases, the having to train a new detective, and I have been thinking about Elle a lot lately." I closed my eyes for a second.

Alex had been there for me when Elle died, he helped with arrangements when I became overwhelmed, he held me up at the funeral as I couldnt hold in the tears, he would even sit with me as I stared out the window at the lake and try to talk to me or just say nothing at all. He just seemed to know that I needed someone around me as I dealt with losing the one thing that kept me alive. He had become a part of my family and even though we were both so busy with the increased case loads, he would check in on me or force me to have at least one dinner a month with him and whatever girl he was dating, trying to get me to be a little more social. I loved him dearly for it and I knew Elle would be happy that I had at least one person I kept close.

Alex looked down, "its only been a year and half, I know how much she meant to you. I loved her dearly too, but I don't know how you stay so strong, Lauren."

I looked at him in the eyes, "i really don't, Alex. If you only knew." I broke eye contact and gathered up my files, I heard the elevator ding in the distance but paid little attention to it. I finished off my tea and threw the empty cup into the trash, "i miss her everyday, more so lately."

"who do you miss?" Bo's voice carried in the almost empty room, she leaned against my doorframe, holding two coffee cups. Alex looked at her and smiled, I looked at her, taking notice that she was not in uniform but wearing a black pantsuit that fit just as tightly as her blues, a white button down shirt hugged to her chest, bordering on inappropriate but not enough, her hair was up and she was smiling at me.

I dropped my gaze back to my desktop, "nothing that concerns you, detective." my tone was more than chilly. Alex took that as his cue, "hey, LT. Lets meet up for lunch, rookies in tow and compare notes?" he was trying to ease the tension that I was creating. I nodded, "maybe, depends on how far we get with the interview today."

He nodded and smiled at Bo, "nice to see you, and that you retired the uniform for something a little, nicer?" I could tell he was definitely checking her out. Bo smiled, Alex distracted her building rage towards me, "thanks Alex, I bought it last night. I hope its ok."

Alex winked at her, "oh its more than ok." he smile his toothy grin and walked away from us. Bo turned her focus to me, still leaning on the door frame. After I minute I looked at her, "you don't need to stand there, sit down. There are some things we need to go over before we head to the interview."

She smiled tightly and took the seat Alex had just vacated. She held up one of the coffee cups and set it down in front of me, "i made a quick stop for coffee, I am not used to getting up this early! I hope you don't mind I grabbed you something." she smiled, her smile was definitely amazing and I had to clench my jaw to hold back the sigh that wanted to come out when I saw her dimple deepen.

I stared at the cup, "i don't drink coffee." I looked at her, reaching over to turn on my computer.

Bo's smile faded, "good thing its not coffee, Lieutenant. Its a green tea, no sweetener, splash of honey and two ice cubes." she looked at me hard. "my patrol route was in the loop, I would stop at the coffee shop two blocks from here every night to check on the girls working there alone before close. I kind of became friends with the one girl, I told her about being promoted and working with you, she told me that the way to your good side was your everyday drink order." she smiled, "you are very predictable, green tea suits you." Bo was trying very hard to be friendly, hoping to break through to the ice queen I was.

I took a breath, "detective, keep your focus on the cases we have to work on and not on my life. I am a coworker, your teacher, but I don't need apples to win me over. Just do your job and do it right." I felt bad for an instant being so hard, it was really nice and slightly adorable of Bo to find out what my drink was. I had to keep her at a distance though, work came first, friendships never. At least in my eyes.

Bo's smiled disappeared completely and I could see the heat rise in her face, I ignored it and handed her the file, "this is who we are interviewing today, read over what we have on her. We leave in a half hour to meet up with her. Have you interviewed before?"

Bo was still upset with me, but did her best to keep it contained, "i have, mainly street side interviews at an accident or a shooting. Nothing formal, though."

I frowned a little, perfect. I hated showing new officers and new detectives the proper way to interview. It was just a frustrating process. I stood up, "Katie Thompson is our first stop. She was listed on Davids emergency contact list, she is our first lead until the rest of the evidence is processed." I handed Bo the file I pulled on Katie as soon as I came in the office. "read up on her, it will give you an insight on the type of person she is." Katie was very clean and a typical upstanding citizen. Only blemish on her record was a parking ticket. She worked at the University hospital as a nurse. Other than that Katie was just another face In the crowd.

I grabbed my things and opened my bottom desk drawer, staring at the gun before picking it up and sliding it onto my belt. Bo was still reading over the file as I walked past her and towards the elevator. It took her a minute to realize that I was leaving, she had to jog to catch up to me. She clenched her jaw, "you lack manners." she spoke quietly hoping I wouldn't hear it.

I looked at her, "i have manners, I took etiquette classes until I was seventeen. I just don't have the time right now to cue you to move." my tone was harsher than I expected myself. "rule number one of homicide investigation, no time is to be wasted." I reached past her in the elevator and hit the parking garage button. I lightly brushed against her as I moved my arm back, I felt a rush at the minimal contact, but stared at the fake wood grain on the doors to pull my mind out of the gutter. I could see Bo's reflection in the chrome details, her jaw was clenched so tight I thought it would shatter any second. I felt bad for a moment, I was instigating her more and more, as I usually did with new partners. But with Bo there was something about her that made me feel bad. I made a move to attempt a slight apology, but as I opened my mouth the door chimed, opening up to the dim, dank lighting of the parking garage. Bo and I walked quietly to the car, she cleared her throat, "i will drive." it was a simple and polite offer.

I said nothing as I opened the drivers side door and sat behind the wheel. I waited for her to get in and let out the angry breath I knew she was holding. I put the car into drive and headed to the address listed for Katie. The tension in the car was building with every mile.

* * *

I pulled up in front of the old townhouse on the opposite side of the city. It looked clean and in the beginning stages of renovation. I double checked the address and looked at Bo, she was still clenching her jaw. I softened my tone as I spoke, "i will start the interview, so you can get an idea of how formal interviews work. Its like a chess game, you move when they move. Never give too much information." I looked at her nodding, "i got it Lieutenant."

I took a deep breath, Bo was on the verge of exploding on me, it was written all over her face. I stepped out of the car and waited for Bo to come to my side so we could make the front door together. I pushed the doorbell, nerves were rising in my stomach. I would get nervous before an interview because of the challenge it posed for me, no one interview was ever the same or predictable. It gave my OCD mind a little anxiety.

After I rang the doorbell a second time I looked back at Bo. She was wearing sunglasses and looking around the neighborhood like a patrol officer would. Surveying the surroundings, it made me smile slightly. That and the morning sun was hitting her just right, making her brown hair shine. I looked at her and questioned what was going on in my own mind. I never wanted too and hadn't looked at a woman like I was now in years. I would have stared longer, but I heard a girls voice yell, "coming! I am coming down!"

I turned and absently smoothed down my blue dress shirt. I felt Bo move closer behind me, and I could smell her shampoo as the light wind caught it and brought it to me. I let out a slow breath as the front door sprang open to reveal a young girl, blonde and smiling. "How can I help you?" I could tell Katie was an easy going girl, she had her blonde hair up in a ponytail, and she was wearing running clothes. Her green eyes smiled with the smile she offered to Bo and I.

I pulled out my badge, "i am detective Lauren Lewis and this is my partner Detective Bo Dennis. I am here to ask about a David Ellory? If you know him?"

Katie's smile faded a little, she looked to Bo and I, "um yea. David is my ex boyfriend, best friend." she paused, "did something happen to him?"

I motioned to the door, "do you mind if we come in and talk, a little more privately?"

Katie stepped back, opening up the front door wider, allowing Bo and I access. I stepped in as Katie directed us to the small living room, "please, take a seat, can I get you something? Water? Juice?"

I smiled and shook my head as I took a seat on the couch, Bo sat next to me a little too close, our legs brushing for a moment before Bo readjusted herself, moving further away. I could tell she was extremely nervous. I started, "Katie, this is going to be difficult. You were listed as David's emergency contact on his university form. You were the only one listed, no family contacts or anyone else." I took a deep breath as Katie sat down in a chair across from us, she was turning pale, "is he okay?"

I took a moment, I always had a difficult time telling family and significant others about the loss of a loved one. It was the one aspect of the job I truly hated. It always took me a moment to get the guts up myself to issue the sorry for your loss but I need information, speech.

Bo blurted before I could start, "David was murdered two nights ago. We need to know as much as you can tell us about him." her words came out quick and stern, exactly like a patrol officer would interview a street witness. It was my turn to clench my jaw as I watched the raw reaction from Katie. She gasped and fell apart, sobbing. I stood up and grabbed Bo by the arm, I looked at Katie, "we will give you a second."

Bo furrowed her brow as she felt my less than gentle grip on her arm, she looked in my eyes and I saw panic rise in her face as she saw how intense my stare was. Bo had just set the tone for the rest of the interview, I would have to calm down Katie in hopes of getting the info I needed. I walked Bo to the small foyer, inches away from her face I whispered, "you. Stand right here. Do not move, do not say anything. Just watch and listen. I think someone needs to teach you tact and manners." Bo held my stare and nodded tightly, it sunk in what she had done. I dropped my grip and went back to the couch, sitting down and moving closer to Katie.

I took a breath, reaching for Katie, placing a gentle hand on her knee. "Katie, I am sorry for the brashness of my partner. I am going to need to ask you a few questions, take a moment and I am ready when you are." I was soft when speaking to Katie. Katie nodded and sniffled a few times before asking, "how did David die?"

I looked her directly in the eyes, "it looks like a mugging gone wrong. He put up a fight." I couldn't give away too many details of his death, in case Katie was suspect number one. Katie nodded, and I kept on, "You said that David was your ex boyfriend? How long did you two date?"

Through shaky breaths, "we dated for about three years, I met him at the hospital when he was interning at the beginning of medical school. We just broke up a few months ago, he came out to me." Katie smiled weakly, "i always had a feeling that David was gay, but I loved him so much I ignored it. Until he confessed his secret too me. He loved me so much he didn't want to hurt me but at the same time he didn't want to keep hurting me." she shrugged, "i understood and we had been best friends from day one, I lost a boyfriend but I kept my best friend."

I smiled, "is there anything about David that would attract anyone who would want to hurt him? Was he into drugs or anything like that?" I could see Bo out of the corner of my eye, leaning into the room further so she could hear. I ignored it, she did need to learn but I was still angry with her lack of tact.

Katie shook her head furiously, "oh god no, David was clean living through and through. Everyone at work and school loved him. He was so friendly and would give the shirt off his back to anyone." I saw tears falling again, choking back sobs, "He lived to save others." Katie leaned forward sobbing. "i loved him so much, he was my family more than anything."

"Katie, what about Davids family?" I handed Katie a tissue.

She shook her head as she wiped away tears, "his family abandoned him when he came out to them. I was all he had and he was all I had. I lost my parents in a car accident years ago when we first started dating." I swallowed hard, thoughts of Elle rushed in. I had to keep on with the interview, I began to have a sinking feeling that this was a possible hate crime.

"where there any bars or places that David started hanging out that seemed odd? Anyone that might have targeted him for being gay?" I dreaded asking the question but it was key.

"the only place he would hang out at was a gay bar in wrigleyville, the black kettle. He would go there once a week, sometimes I would go with him. But I never noticed anything weird, everyone loved David and we all watched out for each other. Making sure everyone got home safe, the bar is also like a little family." Katie drifted off, shock was beginning to set in.

I knew that would be all I would get out of Katie. I stood up, I handed Katie a card, "if you have any questions or think of anything else, please call me. My office number and cell phone number is on the front."

Katie took it and tried smiling but more tears fell, "thank you Detective." She stood up to walk me to the door, She even smiled at Bo who was standing with a tight smile on her face. Bo exited first and went to stand by the car. I turned to Katie, "i promise, I will find who ever did this." I put a hand on her arm, "call me if you need anything." Katie began sobbing again as I walked out of the door. I heard the door click behind me and I stared at Bo.

She looked at me, "hey, LT I want to apologize..."

I cut her off, and stepped inches away from her face measuring my words and anger carefully, "apologize for being a rude brash asshole? This isnt the street anymore, detective Dennis. Get your head in this arena, you have to talk to people like they are people and not street criminals. That poor girl just lost her best friend and how did she find out? You blurting it out like it meant nothing."

Bo was flushed red with embarrassment, "you don't have to tell me that I screwed up, I know I did." she swallowed hard and I said a silent prayer that she wouldn't cry. I had already made more than one partner cry, I didn't have the patience for this one to start now.

I was still angry, but I kept my tone even and calm, "no I don't have too. But I am going too. Get your head out of the streets and into the detective bureau. If you want to keep your brand new gold badge, I suggest you keep your mouth in check until you learn how to talk to people properly. I promise you, if you do that again I will make sure you are put on meter maid duty for the rest of your career." I pushed past her and went to walk to the drivers side door.

It took a moment as before Bo got into the car, she was very quiet as she took the my note pad off the dash and slipped the pages into the file on her lap. I had to take a moment before I started the car. As I started the car, my phone rang, it was Alex.

I answered, "Alex, you have something?"

"nope LT. Just sitting here with my rookie watching him try and figure out how to use the NCIC database. Its like watching a monkey try and peel a plastic banana." he sighed hard, "anyways, medical examiners office called you, I took it. Your body is ready."

I leaned my head against the window, Alex meant that the body was out of autopsy and I could have a last clean look of the body before I read over the coroners report. "okay, we will head over now." I caught Bo looking at me out of the side of my eye.

Alex dropped his voice, "how goes it with the sexy rookie? you hit that yet?" I could see his pervy smile on the phone.

I closed my eyes, "we will talk about that later."

"uh oh, I know that tone. You make her cry already?"

"almost. I will be back in the office in an hour or so, I will meet up with you then." I looked down at the phone ending the call and tossing the phone in the console. I glanced at Bo, "ever been to the morgue?"

Still hesitant to speak after I tore into her, she shook her head, "no."

I sighed for the millionth time and threw the car into drive, my headache was growing by the minute. I was also silently making bets in my head of how long it would be until my new partner threw up at the sight of a body on the coroners table.

* * *

The drive to the medical examiners office was quiet and awkward. Bo would fidget with the file on her lap. Neither of us said anything, even as we walked into the stale beige building that was the medical examiners officer. We walked down to the basement where the morgue and autopsy room was. It was extremely cold and eerily quiet in the room. The autopsy room never bothered me, it actually calmed me. The cool thick walls shut out the outside world, offering perfect silence and stillness.

I could hear Bo catch her breath slightly at the sight of the bodies in various stages of autopsy, I walked us towards Dr. Mary Willows desk. Dr. Willows was the head medical examiner and had a massive crush on me. It started when I was a patrol officer and it only intensified as time went on. I was far from interested in the older woman, she was attractive. Long auburn hair, crisp blue eyes that held a lifetime of things that could never be unseen, and for a fifty year old woman,she was in incredible shape. Dr. Willows had and still continued to ask me out on dates. She only stopped when I was with Elle, but it had picked up again over the last few months. Dr. Willows saw me and her face lit up, I prepared myself and looked at Bo, "Dr. Willows is the best, she has a tendency to be flirty, but its just innocent." Bo nodded and I could tell she was paler than before. Her eyes were darting around the room, stopping on the tables with white sheet covered bodies, I whispered, "Are you okay?"

"yes, LT. Its just, first time in here." She smiled tightly, like she was going to throw up any minute.

I reached out and touched her elbow gently, "if you have to leave, you can. But we have to look at the body."

"i will be fine."

I softened towards Bo, I could see the distress of being in a room full of dead people all over her face. It was a feeling I had long forgotten. I was about to say something else when Dr. Willows approached.

"Its always good to see you Lt. Lewis!" her smile was wide and I knew the flirting was soon to follow.

"Dr. Willows, as always its a pleasure." I kept my tone professional, not giving any indication that flirtation was welcome, I turned to Bo, "this is my new partner Detective Dennis." I watched as Dr. Willows eyes traveled over Bo's body. Her smile widening, I felt a sudden pang of jealousy but chased it out quickly. Dr. Willows held her hand out to Bo, "its nice to see some new faces in the Detective unit, although I do enjoy seeing you as much as possible Lieutenant." She winked at me.

I cleared my throat, "you have the autopsy report for David Ellroy ready?"

Dr. Willows nodded and handed me the file she had in her hand, "all set, rushed it just for you." she pointed to the second table, "he is over there, feel free to take a look as I know you want too."

"thank you." I broke Dr. Willows uncomfortable gaze and glanced over the report, I took steps towards the body, "detective Dennis, over here."

I could tell Bo was uncomfortable with Dr. Willows stares, she almost bumped into me as I stopped next to David. I smiled lightly as she whispered a quick sorry. I picked up a corner of the sheet covering the body and pulled it back. Revealing David. He was clean, with a grey pallor setting in. The y incision was stitched closed neatly, and his facial wounds were extremely visible in the this clean state. He looked nothing like the clean cut kid from his drivers license, black hair and hazel eyes full of life. I looked over his face, the wounds to his face were brutal and the cause of death. He had a skull fracture and his brain had been bruised so badly a blood clot was the reason for his death. I pulled on a pair of latex gloves and handed a pair to the very green looking bo, "i need you to help me."

she looked at me frozen, "help you?"

"i need to look at his back, help me roll him on his side." I placed gloved hands on his shoulders, I pointed to his hips, "grab there and push gently."

Bo took a deep breath and placed her hands exactly where I pointed, I saw her swallow furiously. I looked to see where the closest garbage can was before I gave a three count and together we rolled David onto his side. I held my one hand against his shoulder while I bent to look at the latin carving in his back. It was clean, precise and intentional. Something about it felt familiar too me, and I felt a rush of deja vu settle in, it took me by surprise and I felt light headed and had to grip the edge of the table quickly. Bo placed a hand on my shoulder, steadying me, "Are you okay, LT?" her voice was soft and genuine, I nodded, "yes, just a little tired." I shook it off and focused back on the carving. I could tell right away, the care and time put into the forming of the letters was done with intent and possibly with a scalpel. I nodded to Bo and we rolled him onto his back. I flipped through the autopsy report, I was satisfied with it and my last look. I handed the file to Bo as I covered David back up.

I half yelled to Dr. Willows that we were all set, and started walking towards the exit. If I didn't, she would corner me for another hour, attempting to wiggle out a date and molest Bo with her eyes.

* * *

We walked out into the early afternoon sun, hitting us with welcomed warmth after being in the freezing depths of the morgue. I closed my eyes, letting the sun warm me up. When I opened my eyes I saw Bo leaning against the side of the building, breathing heavily trying to bring color back into her face other than the green about to vomit color she had the entire time. It was what every cop, detective or whomever did after their first trip to the morgue. I smiled and couldnt hold back the small laughter, even I had wobbled my first time.

Bo pushed quickly off the side of the building and I watched as the color of anger rose fast in her face. She stepped hard and stopped in front of me, "what is so funny?!"

I was still smiling, "its nothing." I stepped back from her, digging in my pocket for the car keys.

"nothing?! You are laughing me! Why do you think this is so funny? That's the first time I ever saw a dead body on the slab. Yea I didn't do so well down there, with all the other bodies and the smell, but that doesn't give you the goddamn right to laugh at me for showing that I am human. God knows you wouldn't know what that's like." Bo was angry and had no hesitation is spewing the words out as fast as she could. It had been building up, I could tell, but even I was taken back by her outburst. It was making me angry.

I spun around and stepped back into her face, she had hit a nerve and I couldn't contain what spilled from my mouth, "You are right, Dennis. I don't know what its like to be human, I only spent most of my childhood bounced from foster home to foster home, I have nightmares still, to this day, about the abuse I endured from people who wanted me for nothing more than a monthly check they would get from the state. I have lost the one person I have loved more than my own life and cant seem to shake it or her after a year since her death. I have been chastised for loving a woman when its more acceptable to love a man, and every single day I wake up, I go to work and deal with the worst that humans can do to each other. You are right, I am not human you have to have a heart to be human and I lost that a long time ago. So good work Detective Dennis, you are going to be one amazing detective."

I didn't realize I was inches away from her face almost yelling at her. I was staring her in the eyes and within those deep chocolate brown eyes, I saw a strong, independent woman and an intensity that made me horribly attracted to her in that moment. She didn't give an inch and held my gaze so long it made me feel awkward as it made my heart skip. I finally broke the gaze and stepped back and went to the drivers door.

We both got in and as I slid the key into the ignition, Bo looked at me and in a firm but gentle tone, "i am not like everyone else, give me a chance and I will show you."

I glanced at her, I was still on a emotional high from my own outburst and Bo's, but when I looked in her eyes I saw something that scared me more than anything that had just occurred. It reminded me of the first moment I met Elle back at the charity benefit. My stomach dropped and I turned away, busying myself with driving back to the station as fast as I could.

**More to come! slowly but in larger chunks as I work on that's no stranger and this one! reviews! bring em on!**


	3. Chapter 3

When we arrived back at the station, in painful silence. Bo walked behind me as I lead us to my office. I saw alex sitting behind my desk, he immediately stood up and moved to the chairs in front of the desk. I tossed the autopsy results onto the desk in front of him, "you can take a look at this, I know you are not on this case anymore. But you were there first, and I could use your input." Alex looked at me and saw that I was flustered. He looked at Bo who sat quietly down next to him. He looked between the two of us. He grabbed the file, flipping it open, "so, bo, how was your first trip to the morgue?"

Bo smiled lightly, "educational." she looked dead in my eyes, "i learned a lot from Lt."

I dropped my gaze, feeling my stomach turn at what I knew was going to come. She would do what all the others did, complain about me to Captain Jameson and I would be reprimanded and possibly sent to anger management courses like he had threatened last time a partner quit on me.

I pulled my gun off my belt and dropped it back in my desk drawer, "alex, I think we may have a hate crime on our hands."

Alex glanced over the top of the file, "how's that Lt."

Bo spoke, "The victim, David, just came out to his girlfriend, Katie and the Latin carvings on his back point towards it possibly being a gay hate crime. The phrase is very religiously motivated." she shrugged, "well, that's what I kind of think it is."

Alex smiled, "look at the rookie here! I think you may be on to something, Bo."

Bo smiled, the praise from Alex was easing the tension. Bo stood up, "i want to call the bar Katie told us about, try to get started on possible witnesses. Where can I use a phone?"

I stared at her, I was trying to hide that I was impressed by her theory and motivation, I still felt uneasy about what had happened in front of the morgue and showing any more emotion might get me into more trouble with this woman. "your desk is right outside of my office." I nodded to the small desk that was right outside my office window, facing into the rest of the detective bureau. Bo looked at it and then back at me, "i have a desk?"

I nodded, "all detectives do."

bo smiled tightly, I could tell her irritation for me was rising again. She went to move to her desk when Alex spoke, "hey bo, when you're done making those calls, lets say you and I go grab some bagels and coffee at the place down the street? I am starving and my rookie wont be back for another hour." Alex looked at me, "he lost it all over the morgue floor, and got some splash back on his suit. You should have seen Dr. Waters, she was going to make him clean the entire floor, but he ran out."

Bo smiled wide and even I had to hold back a laugh, "sure, Alex. I am a little hungry. Gimme a minute." Bo rushed to her desk and sat down, picking up the phone. I watched her for a minute and couldn't help but notice how when she bent a certain way, her shirt held onto her curves. I could tell she worked out and her body was toned. I watched for a minute until she moved to sit in her chair sideways and caught me looking at her. She held my stare, I knew she picked up on what I was staring at, her. She smiled lightly at me as she spoke on the phone, I felt myself begin to blush and I turned away, looking at Alex grinning at me.

"you've been caught, Lauren. Staring at the rookie like that, tsk tsk."

I sighed and focused on mentally organizing my desktop calendar, "shut up Alex."

he stared at me, "something happened at the morgue, what was it."

I leaned back in my chair, turning it so I could look at anything else than my beautiful partner who I just lost my mind on, "there is something about this case that feels familiar. I had a strange deja vu moment while looking at the body. Then when bo and I left, I laughed at her and the rookie wobble she had. She went off on me, and I returned the favor." I cringed as the memory of us yelling at each other in the parking lot was still very fresh, "i said some things." I ran a hand through my hair, "she has a temper that brings mine out. She told me I didn't have a heart."

"oh shit." Alex sighed, "you think she is going to the captain?"

I tapped my pen absently on the edge of my armrest, "most likely. I haven't been very accommodating to her. I wasn't exactly kind when she screwed up in the interview this morning and have been hammering her all day." I tossed the pen on my desk, "i need to retire, Alex. Its getting harder and harder and I miss elle so much lately its starting to hurt again."

Alex smiled weakly, "i know you miss her, but you know elle would be kicking your ass for acting like this. Bo is smart, she wants to be here, so cut her some slack. That I can tell you are crushing on her a little bit." Alex winked at me.

"oh no, I am not." I stared at him with a are you crazy? Look.

Alex stood up, handing the autopsy report back to me, "you get that one look you get, the same one when you eat ice cream and close a hard case. I saw it just now as you were staring at how lucky that white button down bo has on, is."

I sighed, "you are such a boy, I am not crushing on her. She just, sometimes reminds me of her." I spun in my chair for a full view out onto the lake.

"who do I remind you of?" Bo's voice filtered around me and my stomach dropped. I didn't turn to look at her, I knew the flush on my face would betray anything, "no one."

Alex grabbed bo before the tension returned, "come on Bo, lets go get those bagels."

I could feel her smile as she tore of a piece of paper from her notepad, "i am ready, here Lt. I was able to get a hold the bar owner, he said that nothing stuck out to him that night, no weirdo's hanging around. He did give me a couple names of David's friends that are regulars. I left messages with them to call us back." I turned enough to grab the paper and look at it, "good work, Dennis."

It was her turn to blush, "thank you." she walked out to her desk, to grab her purse before telling Alex she would meet him at the elevator.

Alex had his mouth open in mock shock, "you just complimented a rookie. You totally have a crush on this one."

I threw a pen at alex, "get out of here." I squinted at him, "find out if she is going to file a complaint against me. I think I am close to the end of my rope with rookie complaints."

Alex saluted me, "yes sir, I will see what I can get out of Bo." he turned on his heel and walked to Bo.

When I was alone again, I let out the breath I had been holding since I got back in the car. I leaned forward onto my desk, my head in my hands. There was something about bo that was conjuring up many emotions in me. She made me so angry, irritated and frustrated. She was nothing like Elle, but the feelings that snuck up out of nowhere, reminded me of my time with Elle. I felt guilty, that I was betraying the memory of the one woman I loved and never got to say goodbye too.

I sighed hard, I needed to focus on the case. I opened one of my other drawers to look for witness statements, when I found my early retirement forms I had started close to two years ago. I had thrown it in the bottom of the drawer with random other forms when I moved into this office. I picked it up and held it in my hands. I was more than eligible for a early retirement, I would just lose some of the benefits of a full retirement. I closed my eyes and dropped the forms back in the bottom of the drawer and slammed it closed. I turned back to the sailboats in the lake.

* * *

Alex and Bo returned just as I was finishing up the initial report on the case. I had nothing much to go on, but I needed to keep a record of everything we did. Alex set down a iced tea in front of me, "bo has the bagels." he looked around and whispered, "she said nothing about anything that may have happened in the parking lot of the morgue. She actually raved about you, how much she is learning from you. Only thing that I picked up on is that she kinda wishes you would ease up on her and let her prove herself to you." he smiled, "you need to stop being an asshole and let the girl work. She's smarter than you think."

Before I could say anything, Bo walked into the office setting a bag with grease spots on it down. "i didn't know what you liked, so I got a mix. Feel free to dig in."

Alex took that as his cue, "i saw my rookie down in the locker room, I am going to go snatch sir barfs a lot up and get to work. We are already behind." he stepped out, throwing Bo a wink before he trotted down to the elevator.

I grabbed the ice tea and poked a straw into it. It had become very awkward in my office the moment Alex left Bo and I alone. Mid sip, bo asked, "who do you I remind you of?"

I squeezed the cold cup in my hand, "just some one I used to know."

Bo took a bite of her bagel, "is it that woman you and Alex always talk about?"

I clenched my jaw. Bo shook her head, "i am sorry, I didn't mean to pry. You just look sad when you two talk about her. Was she a case that you never solved?" she took another bite, "you know what never mind, I am prying and I don't need you going off on me again." I could tell her care and concern was genuine when she asked about Elle, it was still there as she dismissed her own questioning out of the irritation she was building expecting my reaction.

I took a deep breath, "her name is elle. She is, was my girlfriend of almost three years." I paused, it was still hard to talk about her with Alex, let alone a stranger eating a cheese bagel in front of me.

Bo nodded, and in a small voice, "i can imagine this job makes it hard to keep a relationship together."

I turned and met her brown eyes, "she died from the injuries she received after a truck ran her off the road. a little over a year ago." I had to clench my jaw again as I could feel tears wanting to fall. I busied myself with my iced tea.

Bo went very quiet and set the bagel down, "i am sorry...i..." she paused. I didn't expect her to have a wealth of words, who does when you tell someone how you lost a loved one.

I looked at the clock, it was a little after one in the afternoon, we were going to see the owner of the black kettle around nine. "lets call it a early day for now. Go get some rest. If any of the friends call back we will meet up here and head for interviews, but I think we both could use some rest."

Bo picked up her bagel and smiled tightly, I knew I had made things even more awkward between us. I reached and picked up the evidence file and found the photographs of the pages found under David's head. I had almost forgotten about them. I set them in front of me while Bo reached for the bag of bagels, "Lt, did you want any of these?"

I shook my head, "no thank you, but thank you." my gaze was stuck on the pages, there was something very familiar to me.

Bo left my office silently, taking the bag of bagels, I watched her for a minute as she collected her things and walked towards the elevator. She stopped to talk to a few of the detectives, her face seem to light up when she was talking to others. Her smile was big and I felt a ping of jealousy as most of the male detectives flocked around her.

I returned my focus to the pages, after a few minutes I realized that they were pages from a Latin bible. The pages in front of me were the pages from the section about homosexuality. I leaned on my hand, this was becoming a gay hate crime and whomever committed it was making sure I knew it. I made notes and hoped hat there were fingerprints on the pages, I was now even more driven to solve this case. I cleaned up my desk and shoved the files away.

* * *

When I got home, I regretted not taking some of the bagels. I still had nothing in the fridge and I was hungry. I moaned as I made the decision to go grocery shopping after I showered. I was tired from the emotions of the day and all I wanted to do was sit in my chair and eat something. I stripped out of my clothes and stood in the hot scalding water of my shower. The sting of the heat carried away the feeling that was lingering from my outburst with Bo. I stepped out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror, I was thinner than I wanted and the bags under my eyes were growing.

I sighed as I caught glimpse of the scar across my side, it was old and white. Six inches long, it was ragged and I could tell that the doctor who stitched me up did a poor job, I had raised edges from improper closing of the wound.

I ran my fingers down it. It had been a part of my life for as long as I could remember, but I couldn't remember how I got it. My parents had noticed it when they took me in but I couldn't tell them how I got it, my memory was spotty as I blocked out a lot of my days in the foster homes. I pulled on a shirt covering the scar. I had taken upon myself when I was first a detective to look in my own foster home records, but they held very little. There was no record of any accidents, and there were very few records of my health in general. I pulled on a pair of loose jeans and let my hair air dry as I went downstairs to make my grocery list.

I scrawled across a notepad of all the items I needed to fill up my fridge and cupboards. I was finishing up when I heard my doorbell ring. I figured it was Alex, since he was the only who would show up at my door unannounced, my mother would call right before she came over, making sure I was actually home. Alex was probably stopping by to give me hell for leaving early, it was something I rarely did, especially when I started a new case. I shuffled to the front door and pulled it open, "don't be jealous I took a early day, Alex, but being command does have its benefits." I looked up, "oh sorry, I thought you were Alex."

Bo was standing on my doorstep, catching me by surprise. She was dressed down, wearing a tight pair of black jeans, a deep red tank top with a battered leather jacket. Her hair was down and it was the first time I had ever seen it down, it made her look even more beautiful. She smiled sheepishly, "i hope I am not bothering you, I felt bad about earlier and Alex, he gave me your address."

I held the door open and stared at Bo, "um, how can I help you?" I was confused and mildly irritated that Bo was standing at my door, more so at Alex for giving her my address.

Bo had her hands in her pockets, "i just wanted to apologize for earlier. I thought maybe you would be more receptive outside of the office." I remained silent, I was caught off guard that someone I worked with had wanted to one apologize to me, and two do it on my doorstep. she looked down, "i should leave." she made a move to turn and walk back down the stairs.

I took a breath, "you want a beer?" she paused her steps, "that would be great."

I held open the door wider for her. She stepped in and a quick waft of her shampoo filled my senses. I sighed and closed the door behind her. Leaning my forehead against the door, why was I doing this? I had to grocery shop and follow through with my plans to binge on organic ice cream and read my newest research book on psychological evidence.

"wow, this is impressive, Lt." Bo was standing right outside the foyer and looking around my house. I walked past her and to the kitchen, "thank you, but I had very little to do with it."

I opened the fridge staring at the last two bottles of beer I had, I grabbed them and closed the fridge. I opened one and slid it on the kitchen island, "its all I have right now, I was about to go grocery shopping."

Bo smiled wide and walked to the kitchen, she picked up the bottle, "thank you Lt."

it felt weird having her call me by my rank in my own home, but I wasn't sure I could handle her calling me by first name. It was a big step that I actually let her in my house. I cleared me throat, "So, Dennis. What is the real reason you pilfered my address from my old partner?"

Bo laughed lightly, "he gave it to me quite easily, I can tell he has a crush on me." she sipped her beer, "call me bo, we aren't in the office."

I ignored her request, "you should be careful around Alex, Dennis. He has a reputation with the ladies." the ease in her manner was making me anxious, "as for earlier. Water under the proverbial bridge." I moved around to her to walk to my living room couch, sitting down as she followed me.

I could tell she was a little downtrodden that I had stuck with using her last name. Bo walked into the living room and stood looking out my front window, it was pouring in the early afternoon sunshine, casting my entire living room in a warm golden glow, "i am not worried about Alex, he really isn't my type. Great guy." she paused, "this view is incredible." she paused, "i want to apologize, Lt. For my behavior the last few days." she turned to look at me, "i have a bit of a temper and you are hard to break through too. You kind of frustrate me, I usually have a easier time with partners." she was clutching her beer bottle, "i should have gone off of you like that, it was rude of me."

I suddenly felt bad for my own outburst, "i wasn't laughing at you, Dennis, I was laughing at the memory of the first time I had the rookie wobble at the morgue."

Bo smiled lightly and went to sit on the edge of the coffee table across from me, looking at me for approval, I nodded that it was okay for her to perch on the edge of the distressed wooden coffee table that I hated but kept because elle chose it.

Bo stared at her hands wrapped around the cold sweating beer bottle, "i have to admit something, Lt." she looked up at me, "can I call you Lauren? It feels weird calling you lieutenant out of work."

I clenched my jaw, "i try to keep work and my personal life separate." she looked at me and the deep brown eyes were asking more of me, I bent, "fine, but never use my first name at work, or anywhere else." I knew it was petty but it was the fine line I used to keep my sanity around my co workers.

Bo smiled, the dimple on her right cheek poking out, "Lauren, I asked to be assigned to you. I was the top score and could pick which detective would be my training officer. I chose you." she stared hard at me, making my stomach do flips until I reached and pressed down to get the flips to stop. "i have followed your work since you made detective, I used to see you on crime scenes, I was doing perimeter security or traffic detail. But I would watch you work, you are amazing and impressive in the way you handle crime scenes." she sighed, "you are the reason I took the test, I knew I could learn so much from you."

I had to break her gaze and stare out the window, the look in her eyes told me there was more behind her choosing me as a partner but I couldn't place it. Bo finished her beer, "i wanted to come here and apologize in person for being a jerk and prying. I had heard rumors about you, but never wanted to believe them. I want to give you a chance to prove me and everyone else wrong."

I furrowed my brow, I knew the rumors. They were started by my first partner on the detective bureau, john Roberts. Roberts had made my life hell when he found out that I was with a woman. I would deal with his daily abuse about my relationship and my sexuality. He would refuse to work with me on a daily basis, and often screw up cases in hopes that I would be pushed out of the boys club. He has started rumors about me being a failure and a cold man hater. One night while I was chasing a suspect through the streets I had been blindsided by the suspects friend. I ended up in a street brawl, Roberts was nowhere to be found. I had been beaten severely but was able to best my attacker. As I sat in the back of the ambulance, getting examined, Roberts showed up and started saying inappropriate things to the masses of cops that showed up to the scene. I will always remember his last sentence, "dumb dyke deserves it, chasing after a suspect like that. I taught her better than that, but I guess a man hater like her wont listen to me. Maybe I should visit her pretty little girlfriend and show her want a real man can do for her."

in a few long strides, I covered the distance from the ambulance to Roberts and landed a hard right hook. Dropping him to the ground, I stared at him and said nothing as I walked back to the ambulance to be transported for broken ribs. Captain Jameson saw me while I was in recovery, he had heard what happened and what Roberts had been doing, Captain Jameson allowed me to work alone after that, occasionally sticking me with Alex when he needed me to have a partner. Captain Jameson bounced Roberts out of the department and the last I saw of Roberts he was doing parking security at the stadium. After that, I opted out of partners for good and closed off from co workers, keeping my distance but staying polite. Until elle died, then I stopped caring all together.

I looked at Bo, "John Roberts was a good detective, just an ignorant human. I never bothered to fight the rumors. It was pointless." I stood up, grabbing Bo's empty beer bottle. I could feel the irritation rise in me at Roberts being brought up. I wanted to be alone and carrying on with my mundane errands. "thank you for stopping by and clearing the air, it was not necessary."

bo stood up suddenly, "Lauren, I just. I want us to have a civil working relationship, maybe even become friends. But if we keep bickering back and forth and you keep treating me like you have, its going to be a difficult road."

I set the empties in my sink, leaning on the edge of the sink, I spoke softly, "i don't need friends, Dennis." I turned to look at her, her smiled had faded. She sighed heavily, "i tried. But I am not going anywhere, so please stop with all of the little things that worked on other rookies." she looked me deep in the eyes, "i am not leaving you."

the air suddenly grew thick, I couldn't ignore it. I pushed off the edge of the sink and walked to the front door, opening it, "i need to get some things done." I knew I was being rude.

Bo nodded and I see her jaw twitch from clenching it, her frustration with me was growing. She moved towards the door, before she stepped out she held out her hand to me, "well, Lt. I am not going to give up, so lets shake on being at least civil with each other while we work on this case."

I looked at her for a minute, then took her hand in mine. I would at least to agree with that, I didn't want to face anymore parking lot outbursts by either of us. When our hands met, I felt something. It was what romance novels called a spark, her hand was warm in mine and it caused a hitch in my breath. "i will see you in the morning, Dennis." Bo squeezed my hand before I gently pulled mine back. Bo smiled, "have a good night, Lt." she jogged down my steps and disappeared down the street. I closed my door and leaned against it. I would work this one case with Bo and then ask for her to be reassigned. I didn't want to develop a bigger crush on this woman, it was apparent my body wanted more than my mind did. I groaned and grabbed the grocery list and left my apart men and the lingering smell of Bo's shampoo in my foyer, hoping the monotony of the grocery store would chase away the feeling I had.

The phone ringing woke me up out of a dead, dreamless sleep. I picked it up, mumbling a hello.

"wakey wakey, Lewis. We caught another dead body, up in wicker park." alex was far too cheery on the phone. I glanced at the clock, it was quarter to three on the morning.

I mumbled, "why are you calling me. You take it."

"i would love too, but you need to come down here. The scene looks exactly as your latin murder."

I rolled over on to my back, "give me the address." after he gave me the directions I hung up and dialed Bo. I heard her mumble while she picked up the phone, and in the distance I could hear another voice with her. "hello?"

"dennis, get dressed. I will be by to pick you up in twenty minutes. We have another body down at wicker park."

Bo snapped awake, "okay, yea, I will be ready. You need directions to my place?"

I smiled, "no, alex gave me your address."

I could hear her gasp, "oh. Okay. Um I will be out front waiting for you." I heard her rustle out of bed and a voice in the background asking her to come back to bed. I felt jealousy creep in.

"good." I hung up the phone and rolled out of my bed.

* * *

Bo was waiting for me, sitting on the front steps of the large apartment building she lived at. As soon as she saw me, she jogged to the car and hopped in. She was dressed similar to earlier, but was wearing a white button down and her gun was jutting out on her hip. As I pulled away, I could feel her eyes on me. I had dressed quickly, I was wearing a soft grey v-neck and an old pair of jeans, my gun was sitting in its holster in the console. My hair was up in a ponytail. I had been on a lot of middle of the night crime scenes to know that I would get dirty due to the lack of light.

As I sat at a red light, I glanced over at her and caught her staring at me in a less than professional way. She turned away, looking out her window at the oncoming traffic. I tapped on the steering wheel, "i hope I didn't disturb you."

Bo shook her head, still looking out her window, "you didn't, I am actually kind of glad you called. I wasn't sleeping well, it will be good for me to get out of the apartment for a minute."

I didn't say anything, it made me intrigued about the voice I heard in the background even more and who it was that made Bo happy to be heading to a crime scene in the middle of the night. I drove the rest of the way in silence, I was silently analyzing the phone call and trying to remember if the voice in the background was male or female.

* * *

The flashing red and blue lights of the police cars around the crime scene pulled my focus back to what was ahead. I parked the car to the side and got out as Alex walked towards us. He saw bo and flashed his standard grin, "good morning Bo, got a hot one for you two." he held up the scene tape for us. As we followed him to the body I asked, "what do we have."

Alex flipped his notes, "its a female, looks to be middle to late twenties. Multiple stabbing wounds to the chest and abdomen, her face is a mess and there are pages under her head like with the last victim. No wallet or purse on the victim, no identification." he turned back to us, "call came in about forty minutes ago. Late night dog walker found the body, called it in. I was the only detective on call. But when I got here, I knew it was the work of your guy." Alex stopped right in front of a body lying at a strange angle with crime scene techs hovering around the edges.

I took a deep breath, "dr. waters on her way?"

Alex nodded, "her assistant eddie is here, he has been waiting for you before he takes the body. The techs have been cleared to look for fringe evidence, but I told them to wait for you." I smiled, alex knew exactly how I worked. I looked over at bo. She was pale and her eyes were firmly fixed on the crime scene ahead, for a second I felt bad for her. "dennis, if you think you might throw up, do it away from the scene." I kept my tone gentle, "you ready?"

she nodded and I grabbed the gloves Alex held out for me and tossed her a pair. I moved to the body as I pulled on the gloves. I stepped carefully as I bent down to look at the victim.

The victim had been beaten, her face was unrecognizable and worse than David's. I would have said blunt force trauma was her cause of death, but as I move down her body I could see her shirt was dark with blood stains. I grabbed the edge of the shirt as I saw Eddie step closer to watch over us. I lifted up her shirt and saw there were at least a dozen lacerations from a knife or something sharp. They were random and made by someone who was furious. I set the shirt back down and scanned over the rest of the body, "alex, is there any weird carvings?"

"we haven't moved the body yet."

I saw Bo move to the head of the victim, she bent down looking at her face. She motioned for an evidence tech to come over, "can I have a pair of tweezers and an evidence bag?"

I looked at her, "you find anything?"

she nodded as the tech handed her the items she requested, she pulled out what looked like a matchbook and dropped it into a bag, handing it off to the tech then she went and pulled the two pages of latin and placed them in bags. She stood up and held the bags to me, "the match book was stuck under her neck, it doesn't look like an accident."

I took the bag from her, I couldn't read the logo, there was too much blood. I then took the latin pages and saw immediately it was the same ones from David's murder. I clenched my jaw. I handed them back to bo and motioned for Eddie to come over, "Can we roll the body?"

eddie smiled. He was a big kid who had worked for the medical examiners office for the last three years. He size gave people the impression he was dumb, but I learned he was far from the opposite. Eddie was as smart as I was and he and I had many conversations while we stood over bodies on the street or in the autopsy room. Eddie was working on a masters in clinical psychology and took the job in the medical examiners office because it offered him stability and a quiet place to study at times. "sure thing, Lt."

He crouched down with me, I motioned Bo to move down to the legs and the three of us rolled the body, eddie and bo balanced it while I looked over the victims back. It took a minute, but I found it. Carved into her lower back was the latin phrase "ego te provoco." I motioned for one of the techs to take a quick photograph. I scanned over the rest of the body and found nothing else. We rolled the victim back and I stood up.

I kept my stare on the body, "alex, this is a hate crime and I think we have more to come from this guy." I stepped back and walked out of the crime scene, letting the techs do their job in collecting more evidence. I stopped at eddie, "can you rush this one too? At least on a identification?"

eddie nodded and smiled and walked over to the techs. I stripped off my bloody gloves and tossed them into a bio bag and walked towards the car. I was angry, it was apparent this was the beginnings of a serial killer. I had an idea that the victim would come up as being gay. The fury of stab wounds led me to believe that, along with the bible pages and the carving. I had gotten used to the horrible things human did to each other on a daily basis. But I had a hard time digesting hate crimes on any level. I walked to the car and sat inside, staring at the police lights filling the night. I had forgotten about Bo until she opened the passenger door and sat down. She looked at me, "are you okay, Lt.?"

I looked at her, genuine concern was all over her face. I turned back to stare out the window. "i will meet you in the office first thing, I think this may turn into something bigger than we thought." I turned the car on and backed out of the crime scene.

Bo spoke, "do you think this guy is targeting gays?"

I clenched my jaw, "i wont know for sure until we get and id, but yes I do. Those latin pages are the same from the first murder. All pulled from the bible condemning homosexuality." my anger was still at a peak level. It had been a long time since a case made me angry. "tomorrow, I am going to have you hound he crime lab and get the matchbook and pages processed as soon as possible. Then after we get an id on the body, we start knocking on doors. I want to get this guy before he leaves us with another body."

bo sat quietly, she was nodding as I issued directions. I pulled up in front of her apartment. As she was about to get out, I saw a shadow creep past her front door and into the alley way. I swore it looked like a person. Bo was talking to me but I didn't listen, my gut instinct was telling me something was wrong. I grabbed my gun from the middle console and stepped out of the car, leaving Bo talking to my empty seat. I crept past the front steps, I heard glass crunching under feet in the alleyway. I watched for a moment, a shadow was moving closer as it heard Bo's voice call after me. When her voice moved closer the shadow stepped out, revealing it was a hooded figure. I pointed my gun, "stop! Police! Let me see your hands!"

the figure jumped and its hands shot up, I heard a loud crash as the bottle the figure held hit the sidewalk, shattering. "whoa! Whoa! I ain't no mugger!" I flinched when the voice was female, but I held my gun up. "why are you in the alley?"

The figure pulled down its hood, revealing a young girl with dark hair, a smattering of different color streaks in it. In the streetlight that she stepped into so I could see her better, she had wide blue eyes, scared wide blue eyes. I kept my position until I felt a hand on my back, making me flinch.

"oh shit, Lieutenant, please put the gun down. This is my roommate, Kenzi."

I looked sideways at Bo and at the girl in front of me who was nodding feverishly, "bo bo is right, I am her roommate! I locked myself out again when I went to the party store for chips." she made a motion at the broken bottle on the ground, "and a late night vodka run, oh sweet vodka, I have failed you." she frowned at the broken bottle and the liquid seeping into the concrete, I cleared my throat and Kenzi stared at me, still scared she spoke quickly "i have my drivers license in my pocket."

I lowered my gun and motioned her to give it to me, she dug in her front pockets and produced one of the best fake licenses I had ever seen. But it had her name on it and the picture was hers. I handed it back to her as Bo stepped next to her, I put my gun back into its holster and folded my arms, "if you live here, why are you creeping around to the alleyway."

Kenzi shrugged as Bo pulled on her sleeve to move to the front steps, "i didn't recognize your car, I grew up on the streets and learned strange cars in your neighborhood mean trouble. I hid." she looked sheepishly at me.

Bo took her keys and handed them to Kenzi, "here go inside, I will be up in a minute." she then looked at me, "Kenzi, this is my partner, Lieutenant Lewis." she smiled at me.

"oh hellz no, this is the ice queen?" Kenzi saluted me, "nice to finally meet you in the flesh, and see that you aren't actually made of ice." she winked at me as Bo shoved her, "go in the house now, Kenzi."

Kenzi ran up the front steps and tossed the keys back to Bo, "check you later bitches." the door slammed shut behind her as she ran up the interior stairs.

I sighed, "i almost shot your roommate."

Bo smiled, "i am glad you didnt. Kenzi is strange but my best friend, I met her while on road patrol. She tried mugging a professional wrestler and I took the call. She broke his nose and I took her under my wing." Bo looked up at the house, "and she took me under hers."

I dropped my arms, "just tell her not to hide like that, I thought she was a mugger waiting for you." I turned to move back to the car.

Bo smiled, "well thank you for the police protection." she took a step and slid on the broken glass from the vodka bottle Kenzi dropped when I scared her. She fell forward and I reacted, catching her before she hit the edge of the curb. Her hands gripped onto my upper arms and her face was against my shoulder. I instinctively asked, "you ok?"

Bo took a moment, I could hear her heart beating as she squeezed lightly on my arms. She pulled back and looked at me, her eyes met mine, dark and sensual it made the butterflies in my stomach react intensely, Bo's eyes then dropped to my mouth, she bit her bottom lip lightly and whispered, "yea, I just tripped..." her hands slid down my arms to rest on my forearms, squeezing again. We were inches apart and I could feel my heart pounding. She was warm against me and the smell of her shampoo was again filling my senses, melting a little bit of the ice.

I could feel her breath as it lightly floated across my lips. I had to clench my jaw as the air thickened around us. She started to move closer to me,i wasn't stopping her or making a move to prevent what I knew was about to happen. I wanted her to kiss me. then I heard Kenzi yell out the window on the second level, "bo! The cable is out again! Come help me jiggle the shit wires, I don't wanna miss killer zombie cats."

Bo closed her eyes, letting out a massive sigh as she stepped back from me. "thank you again, Lt." she didn't look at me as she stepped over the broken bottle, "i will see you in the morning."

I nodded, watching her run up the steps to her door, pushing the door open and looking one last time back at me before running up the steps to her apartment. I let out the breath I had been holding and flopped into the drivers seat. I stared out the front windshield, my heart still pounding like the percussion section of marching band. I almost kissed my rookie, I wanted to kiss her. I jammed the keys into the ignition and drove away as fast as I could. The image of how close our lips were still burning in my thoughts.

to be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

I couldn't sleep when I returned to my apartment, I laid in bed staring at the random things in the ceiling, cracks, the errant dust bunny, I mentally alphabetized my bookshelves. The newest body was on my mind and bo was on my mind. I tried desperately to separate bo out of the equation and stick on the crime scene, but I would fail. I was inches away from kissing the woman, and I wanted too. Feeling her in my arms, picking up the small details of her face that could only be seen that close up, and her shampoo, that damn shampoo was stuck in my nose.

I ended up not sleeping at all the rest of the night, it got to me, the lack of sleep and I was cranky. I walked into the office and sat down behind my desk, holding my head in my hands. I stared at the preliminary report from Dr. Willows. The victim had died the same way as David, almost exact causes of death. I flipped the pages and turned to the victims identification. Emma Sirhan, 27, graduate student at northwestern university in the anthropology program. There were a few contacts at the university and what made my heart break and my suspicions rise more that this was a hate crime, was when I saw the next of kin contact on her university sheet was her girlfriend, Caitlin. I sighed as I stared at the name and the phone number. It was always left up to me to contact the loved ones, and this one hit home. I remembered what it was like to be on the other end of that moment and I dreaded being the one to do it. I knew the pain that would be felt and the sadness and the inability I had to just shed my professional face and hold the loved one, tell them that it would eventually be alright, even as I wasn't sure I would ever be alright after losing Elle.

I sighed and shoved the file away, rubbing at the bridge of my nose. It also didn't help sleep had escaped me. I saw a cup set in front of me, I looked at it and looked up at Bo, smiling gently, "good morning lieutenant, I got you a hot tea."

I stared at it, my crankiness at full tilt, "you don't have to do that."

She shrugged, "its my small thank you for taking me home and not shooting my roommate. Who by the way cannot stop talking about how she was almost blasted away by a cop." Bo sat down in the chair, holding her own coffee cup in both hands.

"i didn't almost blast her away." I leaned forward and pushed the cup out of the way, my stomach was also angry with me for not getting any sleep, that and I was building my anxiety at the phone call I had to make.

Bo laughed lightly, "kenzi has a flair for the dramatic."

I raised an eyebrow at bo, "She has a flair for doing dumb things, she should not be hiding in alleys like that or be walking through that neighborhood in dark clothes." Bo's neighborhood was less than safe, a lot of muggers and drug dealers dressed as kenzi had, "i don't want to see her get hurt over a bag of corn chips."

I changed the subject, I knew we would continue talking about kenzi until we drifted to the topic of the almost kiss. I scribbled Emma's girlfriends name down and handed the small bit of paper to Bo, "find her address and information. She is our first stop of the day." Bo looked at it, "is this our victim?"

I shook my head, "its the girlfriend of our victim, we need to notify and interview. I am still waiting for the evidence to be processed and the autopsy, but I am not going to wait. I have to stop this guy." I sighed and looked up at Bo, her face had changed and I could tell she wanted to say something about this case hitting home, instead she nodded, "i will be back in a few, Ill get her info." she stood up and I noticed that she was wearing a soft grey pantsuit with a soft pink button down. It made her natural beauty stand out even more, the soft colors. I groaned and became even more crankier. My libido needed to relax.

While Bo was running Caitlin, I flipped through the photographs of the Latin pages and the carving on Emma. It was exactly like what we had found on David, I would have to look at Emma closer to see if the carving was made from the same person and same kind of tool. I closed my eyes, I was starting to get attached to the case, it did hit home and I was becoming adamant in finding this killer. I had a hard time disconnecting myself from the victims. I scribbled notes about what I wanted to ask Caitlin when bo came back in, gently setting down a piece of paper, "this is her address and I already called her to let her know we were on our way, apparently she had filed a missing persons report on Emma, last night after she didn't come home from a birthday party."

I sighed harder and snatched up the piece of paper, "lets get this over with." my tone was harder than I wanted, but my temper and patience were wearing thin. As I walked past Bo I handed her the car keys, "you can drive."

Bo hid her smile as she took the keys from my hand, I avoided looking at her as I held my head down and walked to the elevator, I could smell Bo's shampoo and a small hint of vanilla as she leaned past me to hit the floor button. I closed my eyes, allowing my mind to zone out and away from the woman standing next to me, twirling my car keys.

* * *

Caitlin lived in near Lincoln park, in a small trendy neighborhood that was on the rise as young professionals moved in and began to rehab the area. We pulled in front of a brownstone. Bo craned her head and looked at the address, "this is the place."

I looked at the building and sighed, it reminded me of the one Elle lived in when I first met her. I stepped out of the car and tucked the file into my small notebook. Bo stood outside of the car, smoothing down her jacket. She looked at me, "you taking the lead on this?"

I nodded lightly, "i am. I would normally give you a second chance to prove to me that you can actually interview properly, but this one. This one I need to do." I sighed and could feel my jaw clenching as I walked up the front steps. I rang the doorbell and waited, mentally preparing for what I had to do.

The door opened and I was met with a warm smile. The young dark haired girl who stood in front of me was beautiful, warm hazel eyes and brown hair up in a messy bun. "hi! You must be the detectives? Detective Lewis and Dennis?" I could tell the smile was measured equally with worry.

I nodded and held out my identification and badge, "that is correct, you are Caitlin Morgan?"

"yes." Caitlin held the door as we walked in, she continued talking as she directed us to a large living room and a couch that looked like it was straight from the ikea catalog,"i filed a missing persons report on Emma yesterday afternoon. I know she has been busy with school and her internship. But she always checked in, a short phone call or a quick text." Caitlin sat down across from us on a smaller couch, she held her arms close to her chest, "its unlike her to not call me during her afternoon break." she looked at me with worried eyes, "did you guys find her?"

I knew in the look in her eyes she already knew why we were there, I had forgotten to ask Bo what she had told Caitlin when she called her, if we were from the homicide division or if we were just detectives. I took a deep breath, "we did. Emma was found this morning in wicker park, at around three in the morning. It appears she was murdered."

I paused as I always did to wait for the reaction to come at me full bore. Caitlin covered her mouth with her hand, as she fought back exploding with sobs. I felt Bo move next to me, her leg pressed against mine for a second as she reached into her pocket and pulled out tissues. She handed them to Caitlin, "here, we can give you a moment." Caitlin took the tissues and through choked sobs, "how...how did she?"

I went to open my mouth when Bo spoke, "we don't have the specifics yet, but I can tell you she fought hard." bo smiled lightly, "we have to ask a few questions, do you think you can answer a couple?" I glanced at Bo, a bit amazed that bo had taken note of my harsh criticism at our last interview. Bo met my eyes, a small amount of panic went through them, I nodded for her to continue.

Bo moved towards Caitlin, "can I ask you a few questions about Emma?" Caitlin nodded. Bo took a breath, "is there anyone in Emma's life that would be questionable? Bothered her or anything that would make her feel uncomfortable?"

Caitlin shook her head, "no, no, not that I know of. Emma was loved by her coworkers. She rarely indulged in the drama at work or in her internship." she swallowed hard, "she was only focused on graduating this summer, that and she was in the process of moving in with me." Caitlin looked up at the ceiling, crying, shaking her head, "we were going to get married after her graduation."

Bo looked down, I could see she was struggling with the pain of this line of questioning. But she kept at it, "is there any places she would hang out at? Any bars, or restaurants that would draw attention from the suspicious people?"

Caitlin shook her head, "Emma was not a drinker, the only bar she would go to was the black kettle, and it would be with me when I could actually drag her out. Emma was all about her work and school, and me." Caitlin covered her mouth as she started sobbing again.

Bo took a breath, "is there anyone that would target Emma for her relationship with you? For being gay? Any jealous ex lovers or new interests? Or did you have any suspicions she may have been seeing someone else on the side?" something in her tone came off as if she was less than accepting of Caitlin and Emma as a couple.

Caitlin scoffed at bo, her sadness melted into anger at the insensitive implication "really? no. Emma and I love each other, more than anything else in this world. I know that there are some gay stereotypes out there that someone like you would believe to be true. That gay couples are swingers, or cheaters or promiscuous, but not Emma and I." her anger fell back into tears, "We were going to marry each other, I know that's hard for you to believe that a gay couple would want the monogamy and the white picket fence." Caitlin closed her eyes tight, trying to maintain what little control she had left.

Bo turned a bright red and looked down, I sighed, she had done so well to that point. I took over the rest of the interview. I scribbled some notes, "Caitlin, you said you two were moving in together? Did Emma still have her own place? Apartment or anything like that?"

"yea, she hadn't finished cleaning out her apartment completely. That was for this weekend." she trailed off.

"do you mind if we take a look in her apartment? I promise we wont disturb anything, but we need to look at everything we can so I can follow through on the promise that I will catch the person who did this."

Caitlin met my eyes, and I could see that she knew I was being honest, that even through my firm neutral exterior, I knew exactly the pain she was going through. Caitlin stood up and walked to a small desk and scribbled on a small chunk of paper, she came back to me and handed a set of keys over and the paper. I took them and set them on top of the notebook, "thank you."

Caitlin looked lost as she stood in the middle of the living room, hugging her arms to herself. I bumped bo, signaling to her that we were going to get all we were from Caitlin as this time. Bo stood up with me and moved to the door. I went to Caitlin and placed a hand on her arm, "Caitlin, if there is anything you think of later, please call me." I handed her my card, "my personal cell phone number is on there. My office will be contacting you soon about Emma, but if you need anything. Call." I squeezed her arm, "i know what you are going through, I lost my girlfriend of three years in a accident." Caitlin looked at me trying to smile for my comfort. I smiled, "i will make this right."

I walked away and nodded to Bo to open the front door and the lead the exit. I walked past her and sat in the drivers seat. I motioned for her to give me the car keys, I was already irritated with her picking the wrong moment to ask a insensitive question about possible philandering. Bo handed me the keys and I glanced at the address Caitlin gave me. I said nothing as I put the car in drive and sped off.

* * *

We arrived at Emma's apartment that was on the other side of town. Before I stepped out of the car I looked at bo, "don't touch anything, wear gloves and make the call for the techs to meet us her to process after our initial look around."

Bo nodded, "lt. I am sorry, about saying the wrong thing in there." I could see her blush as she admitted her mistake.

I cut her off, my crankiness increased the whole way from Caitlin's to the apartment, "learn from your mistakes or continue to fail." I pushed the car door open and went to the trunk to dig around for gloves. Bo stood next to me and I could feel I had hit a nerve with her, I could feel the anger radiate off her. I just lacked the sympathy today, Caitlin hit too close to home and Bo had made a mistake, and it irritated me. She took the lead on the interview and did well, but again I had to step in and save her hide. I shoved a pair of gloves in my pocket and blindly held another pair to bo. Everything about this case was far too close to my heart in more ways than one.

I ignored her as we walked up to the front door of the apartment, I used the keys Caitlin had given us. I pulled the gloves on and over my shoulder to bo, "look in the kitchen and living room, I will take the bedroom and the bathroom. Anything suspicious, leave it and get me."

bo shrugged and mumbled, "yes sir." she snapped on gloves and brushed past me to the kitchen.

I clenched my jaw, and took a deep breath and moved to the bedroom. The apartment was in a state of mid move, things half in and half out of boxes. I poked around the bedroom and found nothing unusual. I walked past the large dresser and stopped as I looked at a picture frame. Inside was a happy photograph taken during the holidays. Emma and Caitlin were smiling and laughing wearing Santa hats. I smiled at it, Emma was a beautiful girl and almost unrecognizable to how I first saw her. I closed my eyes and looked in drawers. Everything was organized perfectly, socks folded neatly in descending color order, everything in the room was crisp and organized. It would have been easy to spot something that was out of place. I moved to the bathroom and looked in the cabinet. There were some prescription allergy meds, I noted the prescribing doctor, another possible lead. I poked around and only found hers and hers toothbrushes, shower things and the usual grooming supplies. Nothing felt out of place or gave me a vibe that someone who did not belong had been in the apartment.

I moved through the hallway and met up with bo as she was sifting through the small office desk that was pushed into a corner of the tiny kitchen. I looked at her, "anything?"

bo shook her head, "nothing really. All I found is a bunch of legalize gay marriage material." she laughed lightly, "they were definitely loud and proud, if you know what I mean." Bo held up a flier from last summers pride parade and waved it at me.

I grit my teeth, "they have their right. It should not detract from the fact that someone murdered Emma and possibly because of all the things she may have been involved with or just because she dated a woman. Don't be so judgmental Dennis." Bo's tone was bothering me, and it was making me angrier.

Bo shrugged, she was getting more irritated with my firm standoffish tone. "well, whatever. I didn't find anything outside of the fliers and gay marriage information. I cant get into the computer here, its password protected, we need to get a warrant for that even if Caitlin gave us permission to enter the apartment." Bo looked around, "other than that it, it looks like these ladies had a very humble almost married life."

Bo suddenly had an air about her that screamed to me that she was either disgusted or irritated that she had to sift through these two ladies gay lifestyle to find clues. I couldn't hold it in anymore, "No, Dennis, not whatever. You need to take this serious, put your personal feelings and judgments to the side. Bottom line Emma was murdered, David was murdered. Both were gays and you are now tasked with being their representative, so to speak, in finding who did this and bring them to justice. Gay or not, they were people who were loved."

Bo looked at me with a strange intensity, "i am not judging by a lifestyle. I am just saying I have not found anything here. I have respect for the two victims and their loved ones and I intend to do better than my best for them."

I stared at her, "your attitude right now is telling me a whole different story. You better keep yourself in check." I had to bite my cheek to refrain from screaming fucking homophobe at her.

Bo moved around the desk, her face was flush and I knew what was coming, "my attitude? Look who is talking Lieutenant. Maybe I am learning my poor attitude from you, since its the only thing you seem to teach me. I am sorry that I am not letting this case get to close to me and under my skin, just like you taught me in your first few lectures. Funny...it seems the teacher wont follow their own lessons." she was raising her voice.

I rubbed my temple to try and control the outburst that was screaming to the top of my lungs. "this case has become a little to personal to me, forgive me for that. I guess a homophobe wouldn't understand how hate crimes like this hit home, especially being gay." I waved my hand at her and turned to walk away. I knew it was better to walk away then continue to fight her face to face. I didn't have the energy to fight and ignorant bigot.

As I walked to the front door, I heard her say, "what did you call me?"

I continued walking, I wanted to get outside, into some fresh air to calm the rage that was about to spill uncharacteristically out of me. I didn't turn around as I said louder, "i said you are a fucking homophobe."

I walked down the steps and to the sidewalk. I heard Bo bounce down the steps after me, I admired that she was willing to take this round to the streets. I kept my back turned to her. I felt her grab my shoulder and try to turn me to face her, "say it to my face."

I didn't turn, she had to force me to turn around and face her. Bo was now inches away from me, staring at me with an intensity that scared me and made my heart race at the same time, Bo was angry, angrier than I had ever seen her.

"i said say it to my face...what did you call me?" she was almost yelling at me.

I took a deep breath, readying myself for what I knew was going to be one hell of a fallout. I lowered my voice as I said, "i called you a fucking homophobe...and a disrespectful one at that."

Bo kept my gaze and laughed lightly, "really? A homophobe? You honestly get that impression off of me?"

"yes. I do."

She bit her top lip and said, "Would a homophobe do this."

Bo reached up quickly, grabbing my face in both of her hands and kissed me hard. Pushing the both of us into the side of the car. She caught me off guard, forcing my mouth open with her tongue. Human instinct took over and I let her. Her one hand slid off my face and down to my waist, pulling me close into her. Her touch drove me crazy in an instant and forced me to react. I started to kiss her back. I found my hands running up her back as I tried to take as much of her kiss as I could. I pushed off the car, but I felt Bo push her body harder against mine, trapping me against the car. I suddenly felt a wave of guilt wash over me as I felt how warm her body was against mine, I broke off the kiss and shoved Bo off of me, "stop..."

Bo took a quick step back, "oh my god...i am sorry...i couldn't help it." she looked up at me, flushed and ran a hand over her hair. "i have been wanting to do that since the first day I met you...i didn't mean for it to happen like this, you, my temper got the best of me."

I didn't say anything, the wave of guilt and emotions silenced me. I felt guilty for kissing her back, she was my partner and it felt like I had betrayed Elle. I was full of indescribable desire for the woman who just lunged at me in broad daylight, and shoved me against one of Chicago's finest cruisers, pinning me with hips that made me ache, I just stared at her.

Bo was uneasy by the silence "will you say something, Jesus, I am sorry. I didn't mean to come off rude in there, its my temper. I am sorry I kissed you, Lewis." Bo stepped to me, "please say something." she stared at me with the chocolate brown eyes that snagged me from day one. I felt my heart race, amplified by the urge to grab her and kiss her again.

I said nothing as I walked to the drivers side door, and got in. Before I closed the door I looked at the panicking Bo, "call Alex. He will give you a ride home." I drove away, leaving Bo standing on the street, confused and lost, just as much as I was.


	5. Chapter 5

I didn't go home, I didn't go back to the station. I drove to millennium park and walked to the edge of the lake. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions. I took slow steps as I walked along a dock, to the end where nothing but the lake surrounding me. I knew I now had a bigger situation on my hands then the bodies piling up and being stuck with a new partner. This situation was something I was very unskilled to deal with, I was beginning to fall for Bo. My logical thinking was trying to fight my heart, but I knew my body and the feelings I would get from simple looks at the woman. I closed my eyes as the water of the lake lapped around me, I felt so much guilt for kissing Bo back. I knew that it had been more than a year since I lost Elle and she would want me to move on, but elle was the one person I had loved truly and deeply. She had been the first person I let my guard down with. Losing her, I lost pieces of myself.

I sat and watched people walk by me as I sat on the edge of the concrete stairs that led down to the lake. Couples walked by arm in arm, sharing laughs and enjoying the late afternoon sun. my phone had rang off the hook as soon as I got a block away from where I left Bo. Both Alex and Bo calling one after the other. I ignored the calls, until the sun dipped down into dusk and I could feel the cold air of night slipping around me. I stood up and pulled out my phone as it vibrated again. It was Alex.

"hello."

"Jesus Christ Lauren! Its about time you answered the damn phone." he was irritated with me and I could tell he was also worried.

"i had another case I had to get to." I walked as I talked, the city was coming alive around me as the night dinner crowd began to fill in the streets.

"you are full of shit." he paused, "why did I have to pick up Dennis on the side of the road? She would not tell me anything, just kept telling me she needed to talk to you. Did you chew her out again? She looked all weird like the last time you tore into her."

"nothing happened, I just had a call I had to take, without her." I was terrible at lying, especially to Alex.

He sighed, "Lauren. Something happened, I can tell in your voice."

It was my turn to sigh, "i will tell you later, I need to go home. I will see you in the office first thing." I clicked the phone off and headed home. I did want to tell Alex what had happened, but I knew in the morning I would most likely be dragged into Captain Jameson's office and face what ever reckoning I had too for leaving my rookie on the street, never mind the kiss we shared.

* * *

By the time I got home, it was very dark. I set my phone down, ignoring the thirteen missed calls from Bo and the handful of texts I never bothered to read. I climbed up the stairs to my bedroom and changed out of my pantsuit and moved to the small office Elle and I had shared.

I sat at the desk and went over the interview notes, the bar, the black kettle reappeared. It had been the bar David went too occasionally as well as Emma. There might be a tie there, I made a note to check the bar out in the morning. I was still waiting on the final autopsy report and the evidence results. I knew that everything would tie in between the two cases, but I wanted to make sure.

I sat staring at the bookshelf across from me, I could not shake the feeling of deja vu I had at the morgue and would linger as this case continued to grow on me. There was something very familiar about the carving that made me focus on the old scar on my stomach more than usual. I sighed and picked up the desk phone.

My father answered it in two rings, "hello my favorite daughter! How are you?"

I smiled at my fathers excited tone, "dad, I am your only daughter."

"i know, but you are still my favorite. You haven't called in a week, what's up? I heard you got a new partner from Eddie, he told me last Saturday at golf."

I rubbed at my forehead, "yea, I did. She's fresh off the street and I, dad you know I hate having partners."

"oh boy do I, but Eddie tells me this new girl is just as good as you?"

I swallowed, I really did not want to talk about Bo, "she is learning, I wouldn't be surprised if she transferred out of my unit in the morning."

"Lauren, not again, what happened." my father knew my history with partners and he tried giving me the father daughter cop to cop talk, but I wouldn't listen to him. After I was promoted he would joke that I was now above his pay grade, but I knew secretly he wanted me to shake the ice queen persona. He was still in the gossip loop of the department.

I didn't know how to tell my father that my partner kissed me and I kissed her back outside of a victims house and I drove off like a scared teenager. My parents were immediately supportive of my when I came out to them in high school. It was by accident because I had been caught in school kissing one of the girls soccer team members under the bleachers. What made it even worse was I had gone to catholic school, and it was the head nun who caught us. As my parents drove me home from the conference with the head nun he looked at me in the rearview mirror, "Lauren, I don't ever want to have to sit in that office again with that creepy thing staring down at me."

I blushed, "i am sorry dad, I didn't mean it. I agree sister judes massive Jesus statue behind her is creepy."

He laughed, "oh I wasn't talking about the statue, I meant sister jude, she was a beast back when I went there." my mother looked back at me, "he is right, she gave me a hard time when I started dating your dad." she reached for my hand, "but just know your dad and I are happy with whatever and whoever you decide to love."

I knew their hearts broke just as much as mine did when Elle died, my mother still tried setting me up on blind dates here and there.

I leaned back in my desk chair, "nothing happened, I have just been a little too hard on her." I wanted to change the subject, "dad, I have a few questions about my foster record and files."

"shoot kiddo."

"is there anyway I can get the sealed records from the city you found me in?" my dad had been great in getting me the information I asked for when I started digging in my past, but a lot of things were sealed and well past both of our jurisdictions. I only managed to get public record and nothing else. My gut was telling me I needed to dig deeper.

My father sighed, "of course kiddo, I think I may know someone who owes me a favor, her pay grade is higher than both of ours."

I suddenly heard my mothers voice in the background, "oh your mom wants to talk to you, hold on."

I smiled, I adored my mother. When I first met her she was stern with me as I was adjusting to rules that never existed in the foster homes I grew up in. Maureen Lewis was a lawyer and did not budge an inch with my wild ways as a kid. She was as tall as I was, blonde hair and blue eyes. We both would laugh as many would comment how we looked like sisters, or that I looked exactly like my mother. I loved her and my father dearly, and as I grew up she was my best friend. She was tenacious and unbending when it came to me and keeping me on the right track. She was still stern with me, even though I was in my thirties, I was still her little girl.

"Lauren Lewis. Please don't tell me you have been too busy to pick up the phone and call us." I smiled at her voice, I would call home at least once or twice a week even though my parents lived in a suburb outside the city that was a ten minute drive. "mom, I have been busy. I have a weird new case and I am sure dad told you that I have a new partner."

"he did, I also hear this new partner is very attractive?"

I sighed, "i really have not paid any attention."

My mother chuckled, "and when you say that, I know you have paid plenty of attention. I know my daughter. Are you interested in this one?"

"i...i don't know mom." I really didn't know, I couldn't grasp my own feelings let alone my feelings for bo.

"Lauren, you have to let your heart breath, cant keep it locked up forever. You know she wouldn't want that for you."

I bit the inside of my mouth, my mother was right. I had shut down my entire life after Elle, I would work, sleep and work. I had been asked out by many a woman and man on the rare moments Alex forced me out. I whispered, "i know mom."

my mother picked up on my tone and changed the subject to other random things, she made it point to schedule a visit with me in the next week. I knew she wanted to physically check up on me and sort through my mail as she always did.

* * *

After a few more minutes of idle chatter, I hung up with my parents. I felt a little better and decided to go downstairs to find something to eat in my freshly restocked fridge. I grabbed a organic salad and munched on it as I walked to the table next to the front door to grab my cell phone to take back upstairs with me.

I looked at it and saw I had a few more text messages from bo. I took a deep breath and scrolled through them as I walked up the stairs to my bedroom. The majority of the texts were apologies and please call me, I deleted them and when I got to the last one I paused.

-yo ice queen, call this number, its Bo's roommate and I need help with her.-

I clenched my jaw, I could not resist when someone asked for help. It was one of my weakness. I dialed Bo's number and heard Kenzi answer it, "i didn't know what to do, Bo doesn't have any friends really, any good ones. We are down at the bar and she is drunk as shit, and I cant get her to leave."

I let out a breath, "kenzi, this better not be a ploy to get me to talk to her."

"whatchoo talking about Lewis? A ploy, can you turn off the Cagney and lacey shtick for a second." I suddenly heard Bo's voice in the background and instantly knew Kenzi was not lying.

"how drunk are we talking?"

"i had to pretend to throw her car keys down the toilet." another loud shot in the background, "she trusts you and I cant wrangle her when she is this drunk, she is stronger than she looks."

I stared up at the ceiling, then at the half eaten salad in my hands. "fine, what bar are you at?"

* * *

I drove to O'Malley's, a Irish bar on the other side of the city. It was a cop and firefighter bar and when I walked in, it was packed to the gills with my coworkers, old and new. They gave me short glances as I pushed through, I heard snide comments, it was expected since my reputation had grown in the years I became the ice queen. I walked to the back of the bar and saw Kenzi sitting in a booth, trapping a extremely drunk Bo in the corner. Kenzi lit up when she saw me, "hey hey. I owe you huge for this."

I folded my arms and looked at Bo, her face was flush and sweaty, she was still wearing her pantsuit from earlier. Cluing me in that she had been drinking for awhile. Kenzi was trying to get her to drink some water, but Bo kept pushing it away and mumbling something about wanting to drink away the feeling.

I stood next to Kenzi, "lets get her up and outside, maybe the fresh air will sober her up a bit, then we will figure out the rest."

Kenzi nodded and climbed over the back of the booth, sitting on the other side of Bo to push her out, "come on bo bo, detective hotpants is here. Time to get you home."

Bo mumbled, 'hotpants? Who?" she then looked up at me and through her booze goggles she frowned, "you. Great. Super."

I shook my head and gently grabbed Bo's elbow, holding on to it as she tried to pull it away from me. I took a deep breath and bent down to hoist her up, "come on bo, its time to go home."

I could feel eyes on us as Bo mumbled louder, my appearance in the bar already drew looks and now as I wrangled the very strong Bo, the looks felt more intense.

Kenzi and I managed to get Bo up and out of the booth, she leaned on me and as I took most of her weight and Kenzi propped her up. I could smell the whiskey on her breath and ooze out of her pores. I clenched my jaw again having a sinking feeling that I was partially responsible.

The three of us pushed through the crowd and out on to the street. The cold air hit bo, clearing her senses a little bit. She looked at me, "oh lieutenant, come to save the day after ruining it." Bo tired to pull away from me, but I moved my arm to her side and held onto it, trying to fight the feeling of her warm body pushed against mine. I looked over my shoulder to Kenzi, "my car is over there, can you grab it and bring it here?"

I tossed the keys to the small girl and watched her jog to the corner where I left the car. I was now alone with Bo, who I could feel was still staring at me. I looked down the other side of the street, avoiding her glare.

I felt Bo's hand on my chin, pulling me to look at her, "you don't like looking at me, you just like to steal looks when you think no one is paying attention." her fingers were electric against my skin. I pulled my chin away, letting her hand drop drunkenly to her side.

"you are very drunk, bo."

Bo squirmed against me, "i know, but what's a girl to do after being rejected like that." she tried to step away from my grasp, "you left me on the street..."

I held Bo tighter, "we can talk about this later." I was silently urging Kenzi to hurry the fuck up so I could move away from Bo's body that was just about melded with mine as she continued to lean on me for support.

"there's no talking to you, you just crawl up in your ice castle and hide when shit gets to tough to handle."

I cringed at her words and was about to say something when kenzi pulled around the corner in my car and drove half up on the curb. She hopped out and helped me get Bo into the passenger seat. I buckled Bo in and closed the door on her as she leaned her head back against the glass. She was on the verge of passing out completely.

I took my keys back from Kenzi, "i will drive her back to your apartment. I will help you get her inside, just meet me there."

Kenzi nodded and took off down the street to wherever bo's car was parked. I took a deep breath and sat in the drivers seat. I groaned when I noticed bo had managed to take her seat belt off. I leaned over and pulled it across, cringing as I made gentle contact with her thigh. Bo rolled her head to look at me, "why are you doing this? Lieutenant. Just leave me, like you did earlier."

I stared out the front windshield, starting the car, "because." I left it at that and pulled out into traffic. Bo was quiet for most of the ride back to her apartment, but I could feel her intense stare. Finally at a red light that was longer than I felt necessary, Bo spoke, "i don't regret doing it." I shot her a sideways look, "i don't regret kissing you, Lauren."

I focused on the traffic, my first name rolling out of Bo's tongue added tension to the air in the car. As I stared at my window waiting for the oncoming traffic to stop I felt Bo's hand on my arm, "i mean it, Lauren. I think you are beautiful and amazing. I wish you would let me in." her hand suddenly dropped from my arm, I looked over at Bo, my heart beating in my chest at her words. I wanted to say something, but Bo was passed out, her head forward on her chest and she was snoring lightly.

I had to sit for a few minutes with the snoring Bo waiting for Kenzi. It took both of us to drag the inordinately heavy and heavily passed out Bo into the apartment building. As Kenzi ran to grab a bucket and some water, just in case, I put Bo to bed. I couldn't help but look around as I took her boots off. Bo's room was sparse, not like mine that was packed with books and other random items. She had a large bed that took up most of the small room, dark colored sheets were exposed to be as I laid her down on the unmade bed. There were no pictures, just a dresser and some candles, random pieces of clothes were on the floor and I could tell Bo was not one for organization. I swung her legs into the bed and covered her up with a blanket. I stared at her for a moment, she was truly beautiful, I could not ignore that fact, even as she was drunk. Bo's hair had fallen around her face, and I instinctively reached to push it out of her face. My fingers grazed soft, warm skin and I let out a uncontrollable sigh that caught even me by surprise. As I went to stand up and leave her, she reached out and grabbed my hand, scaring me and halting my movements.

It came out as hoarse whisper, "you can stay." Bo looked at me with an intensity that crept into my stomach. Her fingers intertwined with mine and squeezed. There was a moment where we both just stared at each other, I was fighting an immense urge as the feeling of her fingers mixed with mine felt right.

I closed my eyes as Kenzi came in behind me and set the bucket down, "barf bucket at your service." I quickly pulled my hand away from Bo's and stuffed it into my jean pocket as Kenzi offered bo a bottle of water, "drink this."

I stepped away, Bo's eyes were still on me, "i am going to go now." I walked out of the bedroom and stared at the floor until I reached the front door. Kenzi yelled a thank you at me as I closed the door. I took a deep breath and let it out, the feelings I was holding back were beginning to overflow. I ran down the stairs, to my car and sped off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Small technological error! I guess I double posted the same chapter...sorry!**

I arrived at my office early, I couldn't sleep when I returned home from dropping bo off, I was beginning to realize that this might become a trend while I worked this case and worked with Bo. My mind was working overdrive.

I sat down at my desk, it was close to six in the morning and I was eager to see that the autopsy report was waiting on my desk. I was even more eager to see that Dr. Willows had provided me with close up photographs of the carving on Emma s back. It matched perfectly with Davids, I could definitely say that it was the same killer for both. I read over the final report, cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head, there were no drugs or alcohol in Emma's system, and there were defensive wounds but nothing under the fingernails that could be useful evidence.

I set the report to the side and embarked on writing up a new initial report. I had to tie the two cases together and expand the resources I would need. I sat typing, my mind finally focusing on the task at hand and I lost myself in the clear and concise writing. An hour passed and I didn't notice until Alex barged into my office and flopped into his usual spot, kicking his legs up onto my desk.

"spill it. I only came in early so I could finally get it out of you." he stared at me with an eyebrow cocked.

I looked at him over my computer monitor, I spoke as I kept on typing, "she kissed me yesterday."

Alex smiled wide, "shut. up." he dropped his feet from my desk and leaned across it, staring at me with his pervy grin, "she kissed you, so that means she is on team Lauren?" he waggled his eyebrows at me.

I frowned at his poor wordplay, "i honestly don't know. All I know is we had another fight after going through the house of the latest victim, she said some things that pissed me off. I went off on her and walked away. She chased after me, cornering me and next thing I know." I shrugged, trying to shrug away the memory of how her lips felt against mine.

Alex laughed, "so you decided to just leave her on the curb, call me to pick her up. Are you sixteen again? Do I have to teach you how to handle the ladies, Lauren? I thought you had a better handle on that than I."

I stared at Alex, "i will punch you, hard." I sighed, "i panicked, its been awhile since I have been kissed and I...i felt guilty. I shut down and the only thing I could think of to do was leave." I leaned forward and held my head in my hands. "shit."

Alex poked at my arm, "hey, its okay. I mean, I cant blame the girl, your ice queen ways are kind of a turn on, and I could tell from day two that your rookie was starting to develop a crush on you." he threw his feet back up, "you talk to her since?"

I cringed, "Sort of. I had to pick her up from the bar last night, she was beyond intoxicated and her roommate called for help."

Alex smiled wider, "and did you?"

I threw a pen at him, "i took her home, helped her roommate put her to bed and I left. You know I have a weakness when someone asks for help. Bo was super drunk so I doubt she will even remember anything."

Alex's tone turned a little more serious, "you like her."

I stared at him and said nothing, I didn't have too, Alex was the only other person in my life who knew me better than I knew myself. He nodded, "well, stop being a dick to her and maybe give her a chance." he then pointed at my chest, "and give that long forgotten organ in your chest a chance to feel something again."

my desk phone ringing broke the moment, I picked it up. It was the crime lab telling me that the preliminary reports on the pages and matchbook Bo found were ready. I hung up the phone and stood up, "i am going to the crime lab, if my partner shows up, tell her to sit tight."

Alex winked at me and followed me out of the office, "will do lieutenant. Oh and I have to tell you later about my rookie, he apparently resigned his position yesterday and quit the force all together. Homicide and dead bodies is not his gig."

I frowned at Alex, "why did you get lucky?"

he shrugged, "why did you get the hot one? I guess we will never know, but good news is Captain is putting me on with you and Bo. I guess he wants to sew up this case as much as you."

I couldn't help but smile, Alex was an amazing detective and I knew that the more eyes and ears I had, the faster I could close up this case. He would also distract me and keep me on track. I motioned to my office, "everything is on my desk, so when you get a chance, update yourself."

Alex saluted me as I entered the elevator.

* * *

I spent two hours down in the crime lab, looking over the evidence with the techs. They were a great group of techs and also knew how I worked, they were amazing on providing me with exactly what I needed. I was handed explicit reports and detailed photographs to look at as the elevator carried me back to my floor.

I walked through the room and saw Alex sitting in my chair, his feet propped up on the desk. I frowned at him as I swatted his feet off, "you can sit in my office but not in my chair."

Alex hopped out of my chair and into his, "i read over everything, I think we need to look at that bar a little closer."

I nodded, "already on it, I had planned to head over there and interview some of the regulars." I handed over the evidence report, "fresh from the lab." as he took it I asked, "any signs of my rookie?"

he motioned with his head, "at her desk, last I checked she was still breathing."

I looked out and saw Bo at her desk, head down and I could tell she was asleep by the gentle rise of her chest as she slept. I smiled at Alex and stood up. I crouched down next to Bo, she was dead to the world.

I pulled a pencil from the small cup holder on her desk and began to poke bo just under the ear with it, she swatted once and on the second swat she mumbled, "dammit Alex, stop it...i told you to wake me up when Lewis got here."

I smiled and bent down close to her ear, close enough I could smell her shampoo and the vanilla scent that she always carried, "then maybe you should wake up now, because I am here."

Bo shot up and blinked at me, I couldn't help but smile at her. She looked rough. I dropped the pencil back into the cup holder, "get your things together, we are going to the bar."

I saw her cringe, but she stood up and put her jacket on. I made a motion to her hip, reminding her to grab her gun. I watched as she fumbled in her bag and struggled to get the gun in a comfortable spot on her hip. Maybe it would be better if she left it here, I could almost feel the immense hangover she was carrying.

I gathered up the files and looked at Alex who was trying hard not to laugh, "Dennis and I are going to the black kettle, see what we can come up with. Can you stay here and maybe look into getting a undercover officer interested in maybe hanging out at the bar? I think we need to start monitoring that place."

Alex nodded as he jotted down notes, "will do, Lt." before he walked out of my office he leaned and whispered, "take it easy on her today. I think she may barf on you if you don't."

I rolled my eyes at him as he threw Bo a flashy grin and trotted away. I walked out to Bo, "you going to be okay?"

she only nodded and followed me silently out to the car. She sat down in the passenger seat. I opened the trunk and grabbed a bottle of water I kept with the other massive amount of emergency supplies in the trunk. I sat down and handed it to Bo, "here, drink this."

she took it and tried not to chug it all in one sip. I smiled as I pulled out of the garage. It took about two blocks until Bo broke the silence, "hey, thanks for taking me home. Kenzi told me what happened."

I smiled lightly as I looked at her, I would try to ease up on her, especially since she looked like death warmed over, warmed over twice. "thank kenzi, it was her call for help that pulled me away from my salad."

Bo cringed and pressed her head against the window, "no food talk please, I am still not sure I wont throw up."

I smiled and shook my head, "good thing our first stop of the day is a bar. Maybe we can get you hair of the dog."

Bo looked at me, "hair of the dog? Who still says that?" she was trying to hide the smile and the small laugh that was surfacing.

"i do, but then again I have not gotten as drunk as you did since I was in college. "my tone came off a little condescending.

"yea, cause you are always perfect and amazing that you don't need a drink here and there to take the edge off of life." Bo sighed and leaned her head back against the window, I could tell the cool glass was helping ease the building headache. Her words hit hard, I did portray that everything in my life was perfect and that's why I didn't need friends our outsiders, but truth was my life was far from perfect and amazing. It was a rebuild that I long gave up on.

Her words hurt, I pushed it down as we pulled into the parking lot of the black kettle. It looked like any small hole in the wall bar. Smashed in-between two large apartment buildings, the black kettle was made of brick and when we walked inside the darkness was welcomed by Bo, she took off her sunglasses and looked around.

It was close to noon and the bar had a few random customers sitting sporadically. The bar had a lunch hour and the manager told me that would be the best time to come and mingle with the regulars and meet with employees if necessary. The décor of the bar was typical bar décor, posters, band fliers and couches placed here and there. There was noting that made the bar stand out from the hundred of others I had been in my lifetime as a police officer. I motioned to Bo to take a walk around while I waved at a young man behind the bar.

I sat down on a bar stool, set my wallet down, holding it open so the bartender could see my badge, I smiled warmly at him, "detective Lewis, Chicago police department, is Johnny here? He told me to ask for him when I got here." The bartender bent closer to my badge and id card, then up at me, he smiled, "sweetie you are too cute to be a cop, Johnny is in the back. You want a drink before I grab him?"

"just a water for me and my partner." I waved my head to Bo as she came walking over to sit next to me. The bartender batted his eyelashes, "she is gorg, mmhmm. You two...you know?" he winked at me as I tried to hide the blush filling my face. "no, not all. We just work together."

the bartender smiled as he set down to waters, "that's what they all say, honey. I will be right back." I took a large sip as he disappeared to the back room. Bo sat down and grabbed the water and tried to not chug it. I looked at her as she gasped for air, she frowned at me and set the water back down.

The bartender came back with a shorter older man with him. He had salt and pepper hair and was very attractive, I was getting the impression that the attractive staff was what brought people in. The man stuck out his hand, "Detective Lewis, good to meet you. Johnny Rand. I am the manager." I took his hand and smiled at how strong and firm the handshake was.

"i wish I was here under better circumstances, but I think my partner glossed over why we are here."

Johnny nodded and leaned back against the bar, "yes, kind of. How can I help you?"

I opened my small file folder and held out pictures of David and Emma, both in happier times and pushed them to Johnny, "have you ever seen these two in your bar?"

Johnny picked up the photos and frowned at David's, "yes David was a regular and an amazing young man. I just heard about his passing, broke my heart." he focused on Emma's picture, "she looks sort of familiar, but I see so many faces, especially on ladies night its hard to remember just one girl." he set the picture down.

I nodded, "has there been anyone in the bar over the last few weeks that has made you feel suspicious? Any creeps hanging around?"

Johnny furrowed his brow thinking, "not really, we have security here to keep the riff raff out, but no one of the guys have brought anything to my attention. Our customers are like family and they come here because I try to run a safe clean bar. So, no, there has not been anyone that peaked any of our interest lately. We get the occasional wrong turn college kid, but they make a quick exit as soon as they realize its a gay bar." he smiled.

I smiled back, "would you be okay if I had a undercover officer come in for a few nights and just sit, observe? I want to rule out as much as I can."

Johnny sighed, "i mean, I guess that could be fine. As long as the officer blends in appropriately with the crowd, I don't want a sore thumb sticking out and chasing away people."

I nodded, "of course, extreme discretion will be used." I shuffled up the papers and handed Johnny a card, "this is my information, if you could, keep it quiet that an officer will be milling around here."

Johnny smiled and tucked the card into his pocket as I went to stand up, he spoke, "i do remember your face though, you used to come in here years ago with that gorgeous red head. Always sit at the back table. You two were always glowing."

I swallowed hard. Elle and I had come to the black kettle a lot when we first started dating, it was her favorite bar and I could not refuse any request she made of me. "that was a long time ago." I looked at bo, she had been quiet the whole time, trying to not hold her head in pain, "detective, lets go."

Bo slipped off the stool and followed me to the door, groaning as the bright Chicago sun slapped her across the face. "never, ever again."

* * *

I let Bo nap for the drive back to the station, but I did wake her up by slamming the drivers door hard. Jolting her awake, it was mean but I wanted to remind her why she should never drink as much she did on a weeknight. Bo shuffled behind me as we walked into the office. I paused at Alex's desk, "Alex?"

He was on the phone and nodded he would meet us in my office. I walked, Bo tailing behind me. She was very ineffectual today, it was irritating me, it made me feel like I was dragging the bosses kid around. I sat down at my desk and waited for bo to sit in the chair across from me.

"Dennis, do you think you might sober up at some point today and get some work done?"

She clenched her jaw, "i really don't need one of your lectures today. I know I made a mistake and probably should have called in today, but I knew you would lecture me about that."

I frowned, "i do not lecture you."

Bo laughed, "yes you do, everyday about every little thing I do that doesn't quite meet the impeccable standards of lieutenant Lewis." she sighed and shook her head, "i will be fine after I eat, but can we just forget last night and my hangover?"

my heart jumped when she mentioned forgetting about last night, I don't think I ever could forget the moment in her bedroom and the intensity in her eyes. I was about to say something when Alex bustled in, dropping a greasy burger in front of Bo, "here champ, eat this. You are struggling and that is my magic cure all for the hangover."

Bo poked at the greasy wax paper, when she opened it, I even had to admit it smelled amazing. I looked at Alex as he smiled at me, "no worries Lt. Your lunch is coming, I ordered salads from that weird hipster café you always get your lunch at." he patted his stomach, "i need to watch my figure, I have a date later."

I sighed as Bo took a bite of the greasy, drippy, cheeseburger, she moaned in delight as each bite was doing its job, soaking up the remaining booze in her. "this is amazing Alex, thank you."

Alex winked at her, "no problem Bo." he turned his smiled to me, "anything at the bar?"

I shrugged, "not much to go on, but the manager agreed on letting us put a officer in there for a few nights, hopefully we can pick up on someone or something."

Alex nodded as he wrote notes, "any one in particular you want?"

"get bobby in the traffic division, he has done uc work for me in the past. He will fit in the bar perfectly." I dug around in my desk for overtime forms and temporary transfer requests. "tell his sergeant that I am approving the overtime and to have bobby in first thing tomorrow for briefing."

"roger." he paused his notes, "man, Lewis, we really have little to go on right now, don't we?"

pushing my files around, "it frustrates me as much as it does you." I looked at Bo, who was wiping the rest of the grease off her face, "Dennis, you have anything you want to input?"

"yea, we need to do a tool comparison on the carvings on the back of the victims. It looked a lot like a scalpel did it, with a precision hand behind it. Maybe if we can figure out what kind of scalpel was used we may be able to trace it back to a hospital or a doctors office. I know its casting a wide net, but sometimes you have to use a big net to catch the small fish."

Alex looked at me, nodding in agreement, "i think she has a good idea Lt."

I couldn't disagree, "sounds good Dennis, you can take the lead on this. The evidence lab is on the second floor." I tossed her the autopsy report with the photos of the carvings, "see what you can come up with."

Bo couldn't hide her smile as she stood up, Alex's burger had worked and Bo was back in the right frame of mind, "thanks Lt." she bounced out of the office, turned halfway back, "if you need me, call?"

I said nothing as she disappeared into the elevator. Alex and I poured over witness statements, interview notes and both of us read over and over the autopsy and evidence reports, we were stuck. There was very little aside from the small cryptic clues that the killer left for us. I sighed as I pushed aside the empty salad container, I closed the files and swiveled my chair around and stared out the window, my friends the sailboats floating in the water. The only sound in the office was Alex tapping his pen on the armrest of the chair.

After few moments of the incessant staccato, I leaned to yell at him to stop when my eye caught a tall, elegant, blonde woman walking through the desks towards my office. Alex looked at me and his attention was drawn in the direction of my stare. The woman knocked lightly on my doorframe, "Lieutenant Lauren Lewis?"

I nodded as I found myself staring lightly. The blonde was stunning, clear blue eyes, with blonde hair that was lighter than mine pulled up into a high bun, she was dressed in a politely form fitting black pantsuit. I had to snap out of my stare and stand up, "that, that is me. How can I help you?"

The woman smiled wide and held out her hand, "Special Agent Sarah Cameron, FBI."

her hand was warm as I took it, she dropped her hand quickly and dug into the briefcase she was carrying. "i am a friend of your fathers and he said you were looking for this." she pulled out a tick stack of manila envelopes and handed it to me. I hesitated before taking it, I glanced down and saw the seal for child protective services stamped on the front. I looked up at the agent in front of me, "is this?"

She smiled and glanced at Alex who was staring and almost drooling, "that is what you have been looking for. All the questions you have, the answers are in there." Sarah grabbed her briefcase in both of her hands, "i owed your father a favor."

I set the stack down, staring at it. "thank you, I, um."

Sarah kept her smile, "you are welcome Lauren." she pulled a card from her jacket pocket and set it on top of the stack, "any more questions, call me. And tell your father thank you, I still owe him more than I can ever repay." Sarah laughed at Alex and turned to walk out of the office. Alex almost fell out of his chair watching her walk out.

"holy. Shit. Lauren, you are a hot chick magnet that's for sure." he looked at me quickly, "you think...your dad and her?"

"just stop now, before I have to hurt you." I sat down and stared at the envelopes in front of me.

Alex peered at me, "is that a critical break in the case? The FBI helping us out already?"

I shook my head, "no, its a critical break in my life." I picked up the stack and shoved it into my bag, I would look at the files when I got home, "if I am correct, these are my birth records and every file from every foster home I was at." I let out a shaky breath, nervous at what was hiding in those plain envelopes. Alex fell silent, he knew about my past, and was the only one who knew. He smiled to warm me up and ease the tension he could see radiating from me. I glanced at the clock, it was close to six in the evening.

"lets call it a day, Alex."

He nodded in agreement and stretched, "you want to grab a drink at O'Malleys with me? The grumpy desk sergeant on midnights is retiring, we are all sending him out with drinks."

I groaned, "Alex..."

"Alex what?" Bo walked in, smiling and looking a ton better than she had hours ago, she set down a few files on the desk, "he is my hero so I hope you weren't lecturing him." the smile on her face added to the fact she was joking with me.

Alex stood up, "no, no lecture for me." he draped an arm around Bo, "maybe you can help me though. I am trying to get Lt. Here to come have a drink with me to celebrate grumpy Chapman's retirement."

Bo laughed, "finally, I had to deal with him far too many times when I was on midnights." she looked at me, "have one drink? So I know you are maybe a little more human?" she smiled so wide, her dimple appeared and I couldn't resist as much as I wanted too.

I took a deep breath, "one drink. Then home, I have some work to do." I drifted my eyes down to my bag.

Alex clapped, "oh my god! Finally!" he grabbed Bo in a hug, "this is a rare moment, the great Lewis is venturing out of her natural habitat."

I sighed hard and grabbed my bag, "i will meet you both there." I pushed past them both and walked to the elevator. I really wanted to make up an excuse and go home, sit on my bed and start going through my past.

* * *

I pushed to the back of the packed bar, it was fuller than it had been last night when I picked Bo up off the floor. Alex smiled when he saw me and handed me a beer, "for a second I was sure you bailed."

I took a sip, "i almost did, but I knew you would never let it go." I looked around the room, I was trying to spot Bo. Alex picked up on it, "she's up front, rubbing elbows with her old unit." he motioned with his chin to a sea of blue uniforms.

It was not hard to pick out Bo in the crowd, her laugh and smile lit up the room. I watched her as she hugged all of her old coworkers, joking with them as they made fun of her new pantsuit look. I smiled lightly, Bo was charismatic as much as she was infuriating. I think it was that combination that made me attracted to her, she would fight me tooth and nail one second, turn around the next and try to win my heart over with the small gesture of buying my favorite from my favorite coffee shop. I could not take my eyes off of her and eventually she caught me, our eyes met and a slow smile crept across her face. She slowly raised her beer in a toast to me. I smiled and nodded back, I felt Alex pat me on the back, "i hope you invite me to the wedding."

I tore my eyes from Bo's and shot Alex a dirty look, "never happen. She is my rookie, that's it."

"yep, you can say it all you want, but I don't stare at my rookie like you do and my rookies certainly never stare at me like that." he then pushed me, "speaking of stares, she is laser locked on you and coming this way."

before I could protest Bo was standing in front of me, "can I buy you a drink Lieutenant?"

I looked down at my half drank beer, and set it down on the table next to me, "sure." Bo smiled and laughed, "lets go to the bar."

I followed her as she pushed people out of the way, many of them stopping to say hearty hellos to her and shot mean stares at me. As we leaned against the bar and Bo grabbed the attention of the bartender to bring us two beers, she turned to look at me, still leaning across the bar, "don't worry, two drink maximum. I have no intentions of repeating last night." she handed me the beer the bartender sat in front of her. "i am glad you came out, Lt. Its nice to see you out of the office once in awhile, at least when I can remember it."

I smiled, "it happens here and there." I took a sip of beer and went to set it down when another bartender came up to us, "hey ladies! You mind if I take your picture for the wall of honor?" I looked at the young man, his bright blue eyes smiling as wide as he was. He was wearing a t-shirt and a hat with O'Malleys blazoned across. Before I could politely decline, I felt Bo's hand slide around my waist and pull me close, "smile Lewis."

I glanced at the young man, he had a polaroid camera in his hands and as I met his eyes, deja vu hit me hard. I squinted at the young man, something about him was extremely familiar. Before my mind could filter through the catalog of faces, Bo's hand slid down from my side to rest of my waist, squeezing lightly. I forgot everything, even to smile as the young man smiled and moved to the other officers, taking pictures of them.

Bo's hand quickly left my waist and I trying to hide my disappointment in the loss of contact with her. I took a few more sips of my beer and looked at my watch, I had been at the bar for an hour and a half. Plenty of time, I could leave without Alex berating me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out some money, Bo grabbed my hand, "i got this round." I stared at her hand on mine, the warmth it provided me matching the feeling it did when that same hand was on my waist. I looked up and met her eyes, she was smiling at me. The intensity from last night reappeared in her eyes. I smiled and nodded, still dropping bills to the bar top as I gently pulled my hand from hers.

"i am going to head out, I need to get some work done at home." I pushed my hand into my jacket pocket and took a step back, "i will see you in the morning."

Bo reached out and placed her hand on my elbow, "bright and early, wouldn't miss it for the world."

I gave her one last smile and pushed through the expanding crowd, grateful when I finally made it out and took a deep breath of fresh air. I was slightly trembling, it wasn't from the cool night air, it was from the warm touch of my partner.

* * *

The piles of papers were all over my bed, I had raced home and tore open the envelope the very attractive FBI agent gave me. It was everything, like she had said. My birth records, the report containing what had happened to my parents and the full records from every foster home I had been in.

I sat, holding my glasses in my hand as I rubbed at my eyes. I had only made it through my birth record and the case report of what happened to my birth parents before I needed a break.

I was born in Detroit, Michigan to drug addict parents. When I was three years old, my parents were brutally murdered in a drug deal gone bad. The responding officers found me in my crib, silent and in shock. Neither of my parents had any family that would be willing to claim me, I was left to the system. I had poured over graphic details of gruesome murders in my life, but I never let it affect me. My stomach turned and my heart hurt as I read over the details and stared at the DMV photograph of my real mother. I looked exactly like her.

I let the tears fall out, there was no reason for me to be strong. These were the hard facts I had been searching for and it was my life. I closed the file and leaned back on my pillow. I would call my father later and find out how he knew Special Agent Sarah Cameron and how she was able to get my files.

The sound of my doorbell ringing pulled me from my thoughts. I sat up in the bed as it rang again. My mother wasn't coming over until the end of the week, when I left the bar Alex was engrossed in his date that showed up two minutes before I left. I rolled off the bed and grabbed my gun, walking down the stairs. It was late and there was no reason for anyone to be ringing my door bell.

I held the gun behind my back as I cracked open the door. "Bo?" it was the first time I had ever uttered her first name. She picked up on it and smiled wide as she whispered, "i know its late."

I held the door open wider and let my gun hand drift forward, "come inside before someone gets an idea."

Bo brushed past me as I set the gun down on the side table. She was dressed down. Wearing a pair of loose fitting dark blue jeans, a light blue baggy sweater over a white V-neck and I smiled as I caught a look at her shoes, a old ragged pair of white converse.

I locked the door and motioned to the living room, "before I question why you are knocking on my door at this hour, would you like anything? Water? Juice?"

Bo smiled as she stood in the living room, her hands in her pockets, "you have any whiskey?"

I glared at her, eyebrows raised. She laughed, "i am kidding, water will be fine."

I slid a glass of water across the kitchen island and leaned on my elbows, "So, what brings you to my door, Dennis?"

"call me bo." she looked at me with warm eyes. I looked at the marble countertop fidgeting with my water glass.

Bo sighed and took a sip from the glass, letting out a breath, "Lauren, I am here because I don't want to keep playing the back and forth with you."

I looked up at her at the sound of my name in her voice, I was about to correct her when she held up her hand. "let me finish, then you can lecture me. I like you, I like you a lot. I also get the feeling you may like me more than you want to admit. I catch your stares and glances, I can see through the tough ice queen exterior you hide behind. I get it, I do, but I cant avoid that there is an attraction hovering around us. You frustrate me unlike anyone I have ever met, but you intrigue me unlike anyone I have ever met." Bo wrapped her hands around the cold glass, "i don't play games, never have and never will." she looked me dead in the eyes, "i like you Lauren and I cant keep skirting around it, when all I want to do is wrap you in my arms and kiss you."

I stared at her, my hands locked against my own glass of water. My heart was pounding like a jackhammer and I could not pull my eyes away from hers. I finally looked away, "Dennis, I appreciate your honesty." I had no idea what to say. I pushed off the edge of the sink I had been leaning against.

Bo moved around the island to stand closer, "you kissed me back, outside of the apartment."

"i didn't mean it." I was lying, I was now beginning to sweat.

"bullshit Lauren, I know you meant it." Bo stood right next to me, I didn't want to look at her. "you mean everything you do, its who you are. Every look you give me, every rude comment or criticism you throw my way, you mean it all." she reached out and grabbed my arm, "its because you are afraid, afraid of your feelings for me."

I squeezed my eyes shut, I could feel my anger rise. I knew it was a combination of the files laying on my bed and the beautiful woman calling me out on my truths that I thought I was hiding so well until those deep brown eyes saw through it all. I pulled my arm away from her touch, "i think you should go." it came out as a firm but shaky whisper.

Bo held onto my arm, "look at me, Lauren, look at me and say it to my face."

I clenched my jaw, she would not give up. I turned to look at her. I said nothing and pushed past her to open the door. I didn't get to steps away before I felt her strong hand on mine, pulling me to a stop. I spun around to yell at her, but was met with her hands on the sides of my face, her mouth crashing into mine in a hard kiss. I stumbled back into I felt my back slam against a wall. Bo pulled away as she heard the thud of my body against the wall.

She was breathless, as much as I was, she looked at me with deep brown eyes that were glassy, "Lauren..."

I cut her off, "bo shut up." I bent forward, closing the gap between us, pulling bo into a kiss. I gave up in that moment, I couldn't avoid it anymore. I wanted her.

It took a moment for her to respond to my kiss, it was gentler than the one she had just given me, but it was not any less passionate and needy. She moaned as she felt my tongue glide across her bottom lip, asking for her to let me in. she eagerly opened her mouth wider as she slid her hands to my waist. Squeezing my hips and pressing me harder into the wall. I ran my hands down her back to the edge of her sweater and pulled it off of her, I moved my hands around to the front edge of her shirt and pulled that off just as quick. I felt her shiver under my hands as the cold air hit her bare skin. Bo broke off the kiss, "touch me Lauren."

I honored her request by sliding my hands up and under the last remaining cloth barrier. Her breasts were warm and soft against my hands, and it made me crave even more of her. I could feel her push into my hands as I ran soft fingers over her nipples. Bo kissed my neck as she ran her hands down my side, one hand slid to the front of my pajama pants. She suddenly pulled her hands away and stripped off her bra, I gasped as I took her in. Bo was beyond beautiful and her tight fitting shirts hide more than they showed. Bo smirked as she saw me scan over her naked torso. She grabbed my hand and lifted it to her lips, kissing my fingers before she pushed my hand back onto her breast. I closed my eyes as I was close to losing it just on sight and simple touches of this woman.

Bo pressed her body against mine and her hand returned to the front of my pajama pants, "i have dreamt about this, you, for a long time." her whisper was hot against my neck. Her fingers grazed at the edge of my pajama pants before she pushed them down with my panties. I instinctively leaned into her hand as she slid her fingers in. I felt my heart stop at her touch, the slow movements of her fingers were driving me insane, along with her hot kisses on my collarbone. I came at the sound of her moaning at how wet I was. I fell forward and took deep breaths as my forehead lay on her shoulder. My heart was pounding like it never had before, I was also embarrassed at how little it took.

"bo..i..."

She giggled and kissed my shoulder, "don't, its a compliment." she leaned back and held a hand against my cheek, "at least I know for sure you like me."

I smiled weakly, "more than you know, bo." I bent and kissed her softly as my hands went to the front of her jeans. I pushed them down, and my desire for Bo returned as she stood completely naked in front of me. I scooped her up, her legs wrapping around my waist as I carried her to the kitchen island and set her down on the cold marble, pulling a gasp from her. We kissed hungrily, as my hands ran over her body, bo's body reacted to every one of my simple touches. She pushed hard against me when I would ignore the one place she wanted me. I pulled off my shirt so I could feel her skin against mine and as I kissed her hard, her hands exploring my breasts I dipped my hand between us, finding the one place she desired me the most. I took all of her breath in one simple movement. With every motion of my fingers inside of her, she raked her fingernails down my back, pushing harder with every movement I made.

Just as she was close, my cell phone rang. I ignored it, then my house phone rang. I paused in mid stroke, I knew that it was Alex, he and I had a code when there was a new body. If I didn't answer the cell he would call the house phone once. Bo was panting, "Lauren, don't stop, whoever it is can leave a voicemail."

My cell phone rang again, I looked down at Bo, flushed and so close. Then the house phone rang again, I closed my eyes, "fuck."

"i know, please." Bo was pushing hard against my hand. She looked in my eyes and saw my concern, I whispered, "its alex, I think there's another body." we were both breathing heavy, I began to pull my hand back and it was just enough, Bo gasped hard as I felt her contract around my fingers. She leaned her head against mine, "not exactly how I wanted it...but I will take it." she kissed the corner of my mouth, "you are...incredible in every way imaginable."

Bo wrapped her arms around me, pulling me closer as she kissed me. I was beginning to forget the phone when it rang again. "i am sorry." I stepped out of bo's arms and I grabbed my cell phone. "hello?"

"we got another one. Lincoln park, under the EL stop outside of diversey." Alex sounded tired, "its our guy." I ran a hand through my hair, "okay. Gimme a few and I will meet you there."

"yup. Oh see if you can get a hold of your partner, she isn't answering her phone."

I looked over at Bo who had slid off the island and was grabbing her strewn clothing, "yea, I uh...i will pick her up and bring her."

"you okay Lauren? You sound out of breath and you normally answer on the first call."

I swallowed hard as I watched Bo pull on her sweater, "i left my cell phone downstairs and I was passed out cold."

I hung up on Alex as Bo walked to me, my shirt in her hand. I pulled it on, feeling very awkward in the moment. "that was Alex, we have another body. Lincoln park."

Bo nodded and smiled, "lets get to work then." she moved past me to grab her bag and checked her cell phone. "shit." she showed me her phone and the missed calls from Alex.

I moved towards her, "you don't need to call Alex back, I told him I would pick you up."

Bo smirked, "i think you already did."

I blushed and went to turn to go upstairs to get dressed, I paused and turned back to bo, "lets talk after we are done with this new scene, there are some things I need to tell you, I want to tell you."

Bo smiled and stepped to me, kissing me softly as she ran a hand down my cheek, "you have my full attention."

I smiled and kissed her back before I ran upstairs, I was beginning to want to be ready to let some one in my life again.

**I know huge chapter! I keep plugging away at this one for you guys! the crime will now begin to heat up as Bo and lo heat up...thanks for all the reviews! they mean a lot and keep me going!**


	7. Chapter 7

Bo and I had to push through the sea of uniformed officers that surrounded the crime scene. It was as Alex said, right under the train stop and in a extremely public place. The body was found by a group of late night drunks going home when one tripped over the body. Panic ensued and now the uniforms were holding back the normally quiet neighborhood from gawking.

Alex waved us over to where a handful of officers were holding up tarps to cover up the scene and prevent any photographs from leaking its way to the papers. He tossed Bo and I a pair of gloves, "this one is messier than the other two, but I know its our guy. Check out the message he left for us."

I slipped through the tarp and looked at the body before me. It was a mess, there was blood everywhere, the body was as it had fallen, twisted and broken. I bent down to look closer, it was a male but I could not tell any thing else. His face was beaten up pretty bad and his wrists had been slit, ending the fight quicker. On the victims chest was a matchbook. I motioned Bo to grab a evidence bag, I had a tech take a photo before I picked up the matchbook. It was from the Black kettle, it had been placed there post mortem, there was not a spot of blood on the entire thing. I dropped it into the bag and looked closer, asking Alex, "any identification? Wallet? Signs of robbery."

Alex nodded, "That is the weird part, the kids wallet and id was set cleanly next to him. The techs already bagged and tagged it." Alex flipped open his note pad, "the kid is Stephen Amos, 24 and a student at northwestern. Worked as a overnight security guard at the arena lots, it looks like he was on his way home from the bears game. He does have a receipt in his wallet from the black kettle, about an hour and a half ago. This body is fresh as fresh can get."

I instinctively reached out, placing a gloved hand on Stephens leg, it was still mildly warm. I took a deep breath, "Any carvings?"

Alex went quiet as he bent down next to me, "yea, under his shirt." I looked at him and he seemed paler than normal.

I moved and lifted up the shirt, and in Stephens chest it said, "mistakes happen." I stopped and stared as I noticed a long gash across Stephens side. I absently ran my hand over my scar under my shirt. I didn't like where my mind was heading. Alex whispered to me, "there is one more thing. Come with me." the look in his eyes told me that I had to come alone, I looked over at Bo, "take a look and see if you pick up anything else."

She nodded, hunching over the body as I followed Alex out of the tarps and to the crime scene tech van. Alex motioned to one of the techs, "bob, hand me that one bag I told you to tuck away." The tech nodded and dug in the plastic evidence bins, he handed Alex a bag with a piece of paper in it. Alex looked down at it, "i spotted this as soon as I got here, I had the techs pull it as soon as we could." he handed it to me, "i think this might be for you."

I looked at Alex confused. "for me?" I held the bag in the light of the van. In the bag was a page from a map, torn crudely from a larger book. There was a large circle drawn around the city of Detroit and a small dots drawn across, leading to Chicago where it stopped at another circle with "x marks where I found you." written above it.

I felt my heart drop, my pulse quickened. Alex leaned against the back of the van, "it might be a huge leap, but it doesn't feel like an accident, not many people know where you are from, Lauren. Only me, Elle and your parents. As far as the rest of the world knows, you were born and raised in Chicago to Eddie and Maureen Lewis."

I covered my mouth with my hand, I felt nauseous. I whispered, "no one can see this right now, no one." I looked back as Bo was pushing through the tarp, "not even Bo."

I handed the bag back to Alex as he tucked it back away in the plastic bin it came from. Bo came up to stand next to us, "i am all set, I found nothing else, I already have the coroners assistant making sure we get clear photographs of the wrists and the chest when they clean the body. I also ran the victim for family and whenever you are ready, Lt. We can go notify the family."

I heard nothing Bo said, I looked up at Alex, "can you...take this? I need to look into that federal file..." My mind was spinning and I knew that the files I moved from my bed to the floor would hold what I needed to look for. Alex nodded, "sure Lt." he had picked up on my poor attempt at code talk.

I mumbled a thanks and walked away. I didn't hear Bo call after me until I pushed my way out of the wall of uniforms. I stopped when her hand was on my elbow, "hey, are you okay?"

I looked at her in the eyes, she was genuinely concerned. "i um. Alex will go with you to notify the family, I have to take care of something..." I dropped my gaze and went to step away.

She moved with me, "Lauren, something's wrong. You never bail on a scene like this."

"Dennis, go with Alex. That's an order." I was getting irritated, my anxiety at what Alex had just shown me and the desperate need I had to dig through the files on my floor was overwhelming me. I also was not handling the idea that I might be the reason why three people were now dead.

Bo held onto my arm, dropping her voice, "don't do this Lauren, I know we are at work, but you are putting up walls." she looked down, "after what just happened between us, you can trust me, you don't need to push orders on me." I stared at her, my jaw tightening as my irritation was rising more and more. Bo stepped to stand in front of me, both of her hands on my arms now, "you are worrying me right now."

I took a deep breath, my defense mechanism was in full tilt. I did not want any close to me if I was a target, I had to find answers before more bodies fell on my doorstep, especially the woman standing in front of me. I knew what I was doing as I said it, "i said, go with Alex now." I stared at her hard, "just because we had sex it doesn't mean that you are above my direct orders." I knew as it came out it was a blatant cold lie and slap to Bo. I saw the hurt come over Bo's face as I turned and walked away. I didn't look back as I got into the car and raced back to my house.

* * *

I ran up the stairs to my bedroom and like a mad woman tore through my untouched foster home records. I dug until I found a record from the second to last home I was at before my father found me. It was the one I had been at the longest and attached to the back of my file was a police report and a hospital intake form. I scanned, I had been in this particular foster home for five years. I had a clean record until I started having problems with another of the foster kids, a boy that was older than I was. A Ethan Carpenter. It stated in my file that Ethan and I became close and one night one of the caretakers walked in on Ethan on top of me, and he had cut me. Leaving me with the scar that had been ignored for my entire life. There was a psychologist review of the incident and it was apparent I was being abused mentally by Ethan and I had a variant of Stockholm syndrome. The next pages were about Ethan and I's criminal activity, the petty theft and vandalism. The last page and police report was a run down of a vandalism charge that ended up in Ethan being arrested and us being separated. The responding officer had taken notice of the strange hold Ethan had over me and took it upon himself to take care of me. I broke with that officer and told him everything, I was taken to a local hospital for a evaluation and I was moved to a different foster home. The police report stated that as Ethan was taken away he told me to keep quiet and to remember how shiny it is, and how it cuts.

I dropped the file as it ended with me being placed in protective care at the hospital until I was cleared and moved to the new foster home I was at for two weeks until I mugged my father. I held back the nausea and tears, I did not remember any of this, I had blacked it all out as a healthy nurturing home became my permanence.

I grabbed my cell phone and dug through the messy piles until I found Sarah Cameron's card. I dialed it, hands shaking as it rang. Two rings and a soft voice answered, "hello?"

"Agent Cameron? This is Lieutenant Lauren Lewis, I know its late, but you said if I ever had questions to call you."

I heard a rustle and knew I had woken her up, "of course, how can I help you Lauren."

"i know its a strange favor, a huge favor but can you please get me any information on the Ethan Carpenter that was housed with me when I was in the foster home on the eastside of Detroit, St. Mary Francis house of hope?"

She paused for a minute as I heard more rustling, "i can do my best, is there anything in particular you need?"

"i just need to know what happened to him after he was arrested and I was placed in protective custody, I don't remember anything from those years and I have a sinking feeling he may be a suspect in an ongoing case I have."

"i should have something for you in a few hours."

I shook my head to no one, "its okay, I know I woke you up. So whenever you have a chance."

"Lauren, its perfectly fine. I am a workaholic insomniac, I can get you something in a couple hours."

I let out a sigh of relief, "thank you, Agent Cameron. I owe you."

She laughed, "you can call me Sarah, and like I said, its a favor to your father and you. One of many I have left to repay."

* * *

After giving Sarah the fax number to my home office and other small details I hung up and sat on the floor, against the edge of my bed. I made a quick call to my father and told him to keep extra vigilante since it might be that I was a target for a serial killer. He said nothing and asked nothing more of me, knowing why after his own years as a detective, information was precious in situations like this. I held my head in my hands as I began to cry. The last thing I ever wanted was anyone to be a target to get to me and gain my attention. I had to shut down like I did when Elle died to protect the ones I loved, including Bo. I would have to push her away and hope she would understand when all was said and done. I could not lose her. I reached over to my bedside table and pulled the extra gun I kept in the drawer and set it next to me. I eventually fell asleep sitting up against the edge of the bed.

The next morning I woke up to find Sarah had provided me with everything I had asked for. I would have to send her a thank you or my first born. The files on Ethan were extensive, he spent most of his teenager years in and out of juvenile detention for assault and battery, usually with a weapon. At eighteen he was remanded to a state mental institute after a psychologist evaluated him to have sociopath tendencies and a intense lack of empathy. He was let out of the institute at the age of twenty five, he created a adult police record for himself and then dropped off the face of the earth in the last two years after failure to appear for one of his court dates for stabbing a woman coming out of a bar in Detroit. Sarah had included a note with the fax, she had reignited the BOL that was put out years ago on Ethan, hoping she could pick up a trail for me.

I dressed quickly and raced to work. I had called Alex on the way to meet me before we started the undercover debriefing. Alex met me out of the elevator and I motioned for him to close my door behind him. I asked quickly, "anything from the family?"

He nodded, "yea, one big clue that makes the chest carving clear, Stephen wasn't gay. He just did side work for the Black Kettle, part time bar backing and basically was wrong place wrong time. The whole mistakes happen thing." Alex looked at me, worried, "what about you."

I took out the pile of files I had, "this is for your eyes only until further notice."

Alex nodded that he understood and started sorting through my unedited past and the bits on Ethan, Sarah sent over. "i think our guy is a kid from my past. Some sadistic little bastard that cut me and abused me when I was in the foster homes back in Detroit." I paused, I was shaking again, "i don't know what happened to him after we were both arrested on a vandalism charge, I barely remember it because I blocked it all out. That special agent Cameron? She was able to dig into this Ethan Carpenters files, it sounds like our guy and is the only person that I can connect to the map section. He is the only other person who would know I came from Detroit to here, and he had immense control over me." I leaned forward, "but that's all I have, the rest of it, I have no idea. But this is the only concrete lead I have on who is doing this. He's trying to get my attention, I think."

"shit, Lauren, it is too much of a coincidence not to ignore. This kid seems like a real piece of work. But why now? After all these years would he be coming after you?"

"i took away his control over me and because of me he was under close scrutiny of psychologists, ruining his freedom to carry on as he saw fit. I think he wants some sort of revenge?" I leaned back in my chair, "but I cannot say for certain until we find him and I have him in that windowless interview room."

Alex tossed the file onto the desk, "what do you need me to do?"

"keep this quiet until Agent Cameron gets back to me on where Ethan may be now. Meanwhile, we go in the bar tonight. I have a feeling there will be another body sooner than we want, he made a mistake and he will want to fix it. By leaving me another body, the way he wanted it in the first place."

Alex nodded, "you want to bring bo in on this?"

before I could answer my desk phone rang, "Hello?"

"jesus christ Lewis, you did it again, I hope you are happy." Captain Jameson was trying not to scream at me through the phone.

"excuse me sir?" I looked at Alex frowning.

"i am sitting staring at your new partners transfer request. Detective Dennis has asked to be reassigned to a new division and district. What did you do this time to get her to leave?"

I swallowed hard, "Dennis? Dennis is transferring out of my...our unit?" Alex looked up from his notes and gave me a what the fuck look.

"yes, and I have to honor it. There is nothing I can do, but bitch at you and tell you this is the last time. She was a good detective, we needed her here."

I closed my eyes and tried to calm my nerves, "where did she transfer too?"

"the sixth district, Southside. They took her with open eager arms, they are overwhelmed with cases and need her. So did we, Lauren, so did we."

Captain Jameson yelled at me for a few more minutes before he hung up on me. As soon as the phone hit the cradle Alex pounced, "what the hell was that all about? Did Bo transfer? Did I hear that correctly?"

I had to bite the inside of my lip to hold back the emotions filling up, "first thing this morning, that was Jameson letting me know."

Alex stared at me, "i thought you two were finally beginning to balance out, what happened last night? Bo seemed extra quiet during the family interview, she did seem she was going to cry a few times, but I played that off as the usual that came with notifying the family." he squinted at me, "wait. You two. Did you?"

I swiveled in my chair so I could stare out the window, "yes. We did, right before you called. She came over to confront me, lay out all of her feelings for me and I tried to tell her how I felt about her, one thing led to another. We ended up..."

I drifted off at the memory of what we did on my kitchen island, knowing it was just more than sex, more than what I told Bo as I walked away from her at the crime scene. I knew I was falling in love with her and wanted to tell her, then the new clues came into play.

"holy shit Lauren, you slept with her? Is that why she bolted? And you get on my ass about going through the secretarial pool." he shook his head at me.

"Alex, its not that. I said some things when she chased me down last night. I had to push her away, if my hunch is right and this is who I think it is. She needs to be the furthest away from me, or he will come after her next if and when he figures out that she means something to me." I rubbed at my temples, I had to call Bo, I had to try and tell her why I did what I did.

Alex paused, "you love her, don't you."

I looked over at him, trying to keep tears back, "i think I just might be falling for her." I folded my arms, "i have to protect her..."

There was a soft knock on the door, Bobby from the traffic division waved at me. I collected all of my files and jammed them into my bag, locking my bag up into a filing cabinet. "Alex, can you get bobby started? I need to make a call."

He stood up without question, opened the door and directed Bobby to his desk to get him briefed on what was to happen later.

I dialed Bo's number and closed my eyes as it rang. She answered after three rings, "hello." her tone was far from friendly.

"Bo, its Lauren."

"let me guess, you got word about my transfer request."

"Captain just told me. Why are you moving to the sixth district?" I tried to keep my voice even.

"Lauren, I am not going to play games with you. Your words hurt last night. I get that you are still in mourning and scared, but I did not deserve that. I know what we did was more than just sex, but if that's how you want to look at it, fine. You win. I cant come in to work every day and sit across from you, work side by side with you and maybe wait for that one day for you to realize that I was falling in lo..." Bo paused, "never mind Lauren, its not worth it. I wish your next partner luck."

Bo hung up on me before I could utter one word. I set the phone down and stared at it. My heart hurt and I knew in that moment that I was very much in love with Bo but realized it too late.

* * *

I dove into work over the next week, Bobby had been doing undercover work at the Black Kettle as a new regular. He would report back every morning, no one was sticking out to him. I also had nothing from Sarah about where Ethan was, I also never heard from Bo. Alex did, she would call him to ask questions and I wanted to ask about her, but I didn't want to put him in the middle. I missed her, but I had to keep her distant until I knew it was safe for me to chase her down and spill my heart out and hope she could understand. The case was starting to go cold and I was hoping that the serial killer had moved on and Ethan was incarcerated somewhere.

That all changed one night. I had stayed at the office late, reviewing cases I had let stack up when Alex ran into my office. "let's go. Bobby has something."

I grabbed my things and ran after Alex, "fill me in."

"the other unit I set to keep a watch on bobby, as backup, got a text from him. Some guy had been walking around the bar looking for a date, he kept asking a few of the guys if they studied Latin and if they knew what ego to prevoco meant. Bobby has picked managed to get the guy interested in him, secondary unit has them walking towards the corn cob towers."

"Alex, grab a couple more uniforms and head in from the east, tell the secondary unit to hang back and keep eyes on them. I will meet up with them and go from there. This might not be our guy, but I don't want to lose a chance."

Alex ran to grab a few more uniforms as I climbed into my car. I raced to meet up with the secondary unit. They informed me that Bobby and the guy were just about to walk through the parking garage under the corn cob towers. I gave them quick instruction and parked inside the garage. At an angle I could see who walked in without making it obvious.

Ten minutes went by before I saw Bobby walking in the rearview mirror, he was closely followed by another male. I couldn't make out his face since he was wearing a hat. I could hear the two talking as the walked closer.

"wow, I have never been to the corn cob towers. Its kind of exciting that you live here." Bobby was doing a great job playing it cool. The suspect, in a cool calm voice replied, "its only going to get even more exciting...i promise."

As they walked by, I pretended to talk on my cell phone. I waited until they were out of sight but I could still hear them. I went to call Alex to let him know we could try and take the guy with Bobby.

That's when I heard Bobby yell. I jumped out of the car, my gun drawn and ran towards Bobby, his yells increasing. I got Alex on the phone and told him to move now. I came around the corner and saw Bobby down on the ground squirming with the suspect on top of him, hitting him in the back of his fist.. I raised my gun, pointed it at his chest, "stop! Police! Show me your hands!" The suspect didn't even flinch, he hauled off and hit bobby in the face, knocking him out cold.

"I figured you would have stopped us as soon as we left the bar, but you didn't. It took you a little longer than I expected." he looked down at Bobby, "But I am glad you made it."

I yelled again, "drop the knife and back away from him!" I moved my finger to the trigger of the gun. My adrenaline was pushing hard through my veins, I was sure I could lift a car off a baby.

The suspect looked up and smiled at me, "i will move away, but I am sorry I cannot honor the request to set the knife down." he then stood up and over bobby's unconscious body.

"if you don't put the knife down I will shoot."

"no you wont...i know you wont Lauren."

hearing my first name felt like a slap across the face, I stared at the suspect as he removed his hat and tossed it on bobby.

He smiled at me with bright blue eyes, "you wont shoot me. I did all of this for you. I wanted you to come to me. I will admit Stephen was a mistake, but he did what I wanted, get your attention and look deeper into your past. I do feel bad about him, he was a nice boy, offered to walk me home since I seemed too drunk to walk alone. He fought back hard until I cut him. I got nervous that when you figured out he was not gay you would lose interest, so I put that fun little map in there. Did you like that? I thought it was very creative of me." the suspect leaned his head up as if he was reminiscing, "that's why I chose the gay ones, Emma and David, they all reminded me of you a little bit. You would become personally invested and not pass it off so easily." he dropped his gaze back to mine, an easy smile on his face, "i always had a feeling you were a little different from the rest of us at an early age."

I listened to his intricate details and his sickening logic. I didn't respond in any way, I didn't want to feed his ego, but I was also confused at his last few words. I kept my gun trained on his chest and wondered where the hell Alex was.

"ohhh no comments? Nothing Lauren? I have done all of this for you!" he paused and smirked at me, "wait...are you worried about your friend here?" he pointed towards bobby, "don't be, he will be fine. I have no intention of killing him. I could tell he was a cop from the moment I walked into the bar. I could smell you all over him, I knew he would bring you to me...you are the reason for all of this." he spread his arms out as if to highlight even more his work.

"why am I the reason for all this?" I couldn't help my curiosity.

The suspect laughed, "Lauren, oh sweet ignorant Lauren, you were the start of it all...but I can tell time has made your memories a little dusty. I have been looking for you for years, I need to finish what I started so long ago."

I stared at him, I had no clue what he was talking about and I knew I needed to either pull the trigger sooner than later and his snobbish tirade. I searched my memory for anything that would point me in knowing who this man was.

He saw it all over my face, "yes. You have forgotten me. Let me help. The scar on your side...compliments of me." he bowed slightly and as he straightened up, "my name is Ethan, Ethan Carpenter and we are dear old childhood friends, Lauren."

hearing his name, my world paused and it felt like everything was in slow motion. The memories surged forth, I suddenly remembered clearly the day I was arrested with Ethan, and how I begged the officer to take me away from him. I remembered the night Ethan sat on top of me as I slept, covering my mouth as he dug his knife into my side, whispering that god hated me and he was punishing me for my sins, whispering half in latin and half in English. I began to shake as the memories took over.

Ethan spoke again, "you were hard to find. I had no idea you were taken out of Detroit by that nice police officer, Evan? Yes, Evan Lewis until last year. So I packed my bags for the big windy city. I thought it would take me some time, but a brilliant detective like you isn't hard to find. I knew knocking on your door would not grab your attention properly. So here I am!" Ethan stepped over Bobby, "shall we pick up where we left off? I do owe you. I ended up in a hospital for disturbed children and I can tell you that those shock treatments everyone raves about, do very little. They do make a man very determined." he titled the knife towards me, "shall we? Do you remember how shiny it is?"

I finally spoke, "fuck you, fuck you for everything, you are going to rot in hell for what you did." I was furious and my trigger finger was trembling. I want to pull it so bad, but I couldn't, I was frozen. My whole body was shaking and I kept praying Alex would hurry up.

Ethan frowned, "you should not talk to old friends like that, Lauren. I have to finish what I started." he stood there with a half smile on his face.

We were at a standoff, I knew any minute Alex would be around the corner with other officers. I kept my eyes on Ethan until I heard a noise off to my right and made the mistake of turning to look at it. Giving him the second he needed, Ethan made his move. He bolted towards me, hitting me hard, taking us both to the ground. I landed hard but still kept my grip on my gun. Ethan grabbed my right hand, pinning it and the gun to the floor of the parking garage. He then hit me with a hard right across the face, it would have knocked me out if it wasn't for the adrenaline pouring in my bloodstream. I came up with my left hand, hitting him hard under the jaw, Ethan moved just in time and I grazed him. I tried wiggling my gun hand free but his grip was too tight. Ethan raised his fist to hit me again, I thrust my knee up between his legs and heard a loud groan come out of him. Ethan fell back onto my legs.

I took the wind out of him for a second, he had let go of my gun hand. I quickly took the opportunity and swung the gun up to fire, but as I came to pull the trigger I saw a flash and felt a burning sensation shoot down through the side of my right wrist. I dropped my gun and grabbed my wrist as the blood began to fall out of it. Ethan had sliced deep, cutting muscle and vein. I could no longer maintain a grip and all of the blood made things slippery.

I ignored the intense pain and rolled Ethan off of me to scramble for my gun that was a few feet away from me. Ethan recovered and jumped onto my back, punching me in the kidneys. I slammed into the floor as the fingers of my left hand touched the bottom of my gun. Ethan slammed the hilt of his knife on the back of my left hand, I heard a loud crack and felt a shooting pain that distracted me from my mission. Ethan hit me hard in the face again, so hard I could taste blood in my mouth.

I wouldn't give up as he straddled me, trapping me under his weight. He hit me one more time and I lost sight in my one eye. I watched as he slowly reached over me, picking up my gun. He then bent down and whispered in my ear, "i will finish this...i only have a few minutes before you bleed out from your wrist. Just do me one favor, Lauren. Sit still."

I tried to wiggle free but he had me in too tight of a hold and I was slipping from my own blood that was now pooled under me. I was starting to feel lightheaded. I felt Ethan pull up my shirt, followed by the tip of his knife underneath my shoulder blade.

I started breathing hard, yelling at myself to fight him, to not let him do this. I couldn't think straight, I had no way out and was about to give up when Ethan paused, "wait, I want you to look at me while I do this. For old times sake." he rolled me over, still keeping me tight under him, Ethan took the knife to my skin again. I could barely feel it dig into my stomach. My body was in pain overload from all the pain he inflicted. I closed my eyes, I was about to let it all go. I opened them and looked at my right wrist, the seeping blood, it hit me. I had one last chance. I took a deep breath and with the little strength I had left, I swung my arm at Ethan's face, hitting him on the side and dragging my wrist down, getting my blood into his eyes. He leaned back as my arm dropped, rubbing at his eyes. "you bitch."

while he was distracted, I tried to grab his knife with my good hand. He caught my arm in mid motion. "smart girl. You are different now, Lauren. But its too late." I met his eyes and stared as I began to fade out. The last few moves had taken what I had left. I was losing the battle. I laid in my own blood, breathing hard wondering what I had done to deserve this to be the last thing I ever saw. I regretted not calling Bo back, telling her what she meant to me, that I was full of shit and I was falling in love with her and that I wanted to fall in love with her. Now I was going to die alone like I always thought I would after Elle. I closed my eyes to come to terms with the last moments as I lay on the garage floor. I was slipping away.

"drop the gun and the knife before I blow you away you mother fucker." Alex's booming voice echoed in the garage. It pulled me back from the gentle fade out I was in.

Ethan didn't move, "i cant do that Detective Cambridge."

Alex shouted louder, "i will fucking finish you if you do not drop the fucking weapons."

I opened my eyes and looked dead at Ethan, he smiled, "i am sorry that I have to end this in such a brutish way. You do deserve a classier death than this, but alas your partner dictates otherwise. Apologies Lauren, it was good to see you again."

I managed to croak out a "fuck you..."

Ethan laughed at me as the rest became a blur. Ethan turned back to Alex and threw the knife at him, hitting him in the thigh, taking him down to one knee. In that split moment I heard my gun go off and felt something hot slam into me under my sternum. I blacked out to the sound of a few more gunshots, footsteps running away from me and then I heard Alex yelling and then screaming.

It might have been an out of body experience, but I will never be sure. I was suddenly standing next to myself as Alex hobbled over to me, putting pressure on my wrist and trying to plug the wound in my chest with his jacket. He was screaming on his cell phone that an officer was down and he needed an ambulance. I was covered in my blood and lying in a growing lake underneath me. My face was swollen and red. I heard Alex talking non stop.

"Jesus, Lauren. Don't let go. Paramedics will be here shortly, Stay with me. Fucking stay with me. Oh...oh god...don't let go Lauren. Please, for me, stay with me...stay here."

then nothing.

** Don't fret! this isn't the end! there is more to come...**


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up in a white room. A portly nurse was standing next to me with a chart. I rolled my head to look at her, "oh! You are awake...i will get the doctor." she ran out of the room. I stared at the ceiling until a anorexic doctor came back, flashing a light in my eyes. I tried to yell at him, but I couldn't. There was a tube in my throat. I moved a little more, heard a few short beeps and passed back out.

* * *

When I woke up again, there was no tube in my throat, but I was still in a white room. I rolled my head to the one side and saw flowers piled up mixed with a few of those terrible shiny metal balloons that had animals and well wishes on them. I felt some pain, but it was all very dull pain. I looked at the series of iv bags linking together and meeting in my arm. I had to be on some heavy drugs. I slowly noticed that I only had vision on my right side. I rolled my head back to the middle of the pillow, staring at the ceiling. I slowly knew I was in the hospital but the rest was a messy blur. I knew I was tired. I closed my eyes when I heard the muffles of a television on and someone coughing lightly.

I rolled my good eye in the direction of the noise and saw Alex sitting in a wooden hospital chair, the television above him was on. He was sleeping as the television was showing one of those many rich house wife shows. Alex was fidgeting, trying to get comfortable in the boxy, hard chair.

I swallowed and tried to speak, but it came out in a harsh, rough whisper, "sleeping on the job?"

it was loud enough to wake Alex up, he glanced at the television, thinking my whisper was coming from there. He ran a hand through his hair, yawning, then looked over at me and almost jumped out of his chair when he saw I was awake.

"holy shit, Lauren, you are awake."

I nodded slowly and rolled my head back to the middle, it hurt to much to strain to the left. Alex hopped up on the edge of the bed so he could look at me. "how long was my nap?" my voice was raspy, letting me know it had been dormant for a long time.

Alex looked down, "this is the first time you have been awake for more than a handful of minutes in close to three weeks." he grabbed my hand, smiling tightly.

"what happened?" I couldn't remember anything other than some strange chubby nurse hovering over me.

Alex looked away, "i don't think I want to tell you right away if you cant remember." he smiled, "you are awake now, that's all that matters."

I tried to lift my right arm, it was stiff and wrapped in an immense amount of gauze. A nurse walked in and saw that I was awake, she smiled and came to the side, "Ms. Lewis, its nice to see you are finally awake, how are you feeling?"

"i fell like a mummy." I motioned to my arm. She smiled, "its understandable, I need to check your vitals and then I will get the doctor to talk to you." The nurse looked to Alex, "i hate to kick you out, but visiting hours are almost over and you know the drill."

Alex nodded, "its not a problem, ally." Alex leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead like a brother would, "Lauren, I will be back tomorrow." he swallowed hard, I could see he was holding back his emotions, "its so god damn good to see you awake." He scooted off the edge of the bed and grabbed his jacket, smiling at me one more time before he limped out of the room.

The nurse took over, "he is a nice guy. Has visited you everyday since you got here. He even sat with your parents while you were in surgery." The nurse helped me to sit up and I felt woozy, but was able to get a better view of the room I was in and could look down at myself.

My right arm was wrapped from fingertips to elbow, I saw bruises here and there. As the nurse pulled down the blanket and lifted up my gown, I saw the large dressing over my chest, it was seeping but looked clean. A young man walked in, he barely looked old enough to drive and was wearing a white doctor coat, he smiled warmly as he came in to stand at the foot of the bed, "Ms. Lewis, welcome back. I am Dr. Bettis, How are you feeling?"

"weird, I feel weird." my mouth was full of cotton.

Dr. Bettis nodded and came to stand on my right side. As he pulled on gloves he spoke, "that is expected from the meds you are on. Hopefully you are comfortable." he peeled back the bandage on my chest in a way that I could not see what was underneath. He squinted, but in a happy way. The nurse distracted me long enough that I did not see Dr. Bettis replace the dirty gauze. He looked at my vitals, checked my good eye with a light and scrutinized the rest of my injuries. He nodded with approval and filled out my chart, "you are healing nicely, Lauren. It should be a few more days and we can seriously consider releasing you." he handed the chart to the nurse, slipping his hands into his pockets, "how do you feel about maybe getting up and moving around tomorrow?"

I took a deep breath, this doctor was just like me, eager to get back on the horse. I nodded and whispered, "i can try." Dr. Bettis smiled, "that's all I can ask for." he patted my foot, "i will be back later on rounds, if you have any questions. But glad to have you back with us." he disappeared in a blur of white.

The nurse covered me back up, added a few more pillows. After she left me to try and track something down for me to drink. I looked around the room, there were a lot of flowers, cards and balloons. I soon let my curiosity get the better of me and pushed down my blankets and lifted up my gown. I wanted to see what was under my bandage. I picked at the edge awkwardly with my left hand and was able to peel a corner up. There was a neat half dollar size hole under my sternum, it wasn't closed up, just packed with gauze. I stared at it, trying to remember anything. But nothing came. I covered up the wound and pulled the blankets up. I was really groggy and eventually fell asleep staring at plastic women on the television.

* * *

I woke up in the middle of the night, my room was dark and the floor I was on was dark. I felt better than I had when I first woke up and wanted to look at myself. I was able to sit on the edge of the bed and pull the chair Alex had been sitting in closer to me and use it as a walker as I walked to the bed, dragging all of my tubes and wires along. I shuffled to the bathroom, I was certain it took me three days to move muscles and limbs that had been idle for weeks. But I made it to the bathroom, closing the door slightly so I could have a small amount of privacy. I steadied myself on the rails on the wall. I took a deep breath and looked at the mirror.

I was in shock at what I saw. My face was bruised, black, blue and yellow, my left eye was swollen shut like a prize fighter had used it as practice. I had cuts on my lip and cheek. I pulled the front of my gown down and saw the bruises all over my body. On my hips, across my chest and arms. The bandage under my sternum was chased by a smaller one on my stomach, next to my old scar. I tried to lift my bandaged arm up, but the pain was immense and it forced me to lean forward on the sink to hold myself. I started to sob and before I knew it, I threw up in the sink. I was very light headed and was losing my legs, I could not stop myself as I began to fall, I prepared for the hard hit to the tile floor.

I never hit the floor, strong arms caught me mid fall and pulled me close to a warm body. The strong arms circled around me, avoiding all of the damaged areas and held me tight, pulling up my gown to cover me properly. I was trying to not pass out as the arms gently dragged me back to the edge of the bed and helped lay me down.

"Jesus Lauren, you haven't used your legs in a month, why are you trying to run before you walk?" It took me a moment to place the voice behind the gentle whisper.

I felt the tears well as I looked at her, "bo?"

Bo was covering me with blankets, "why were you out of bed?" she was trying to keep a firm tone with me, but her concern was betraying it.

I laid flat on my back looking at her. She was fidgeting with my blankets and moving my IV's and wires back in their original spot. She looked tired, but still beautiful as always. She was wearing a old ratty concert t-shirt with her black leather jacket over it. I whispered, "i wanted to see...how bad."

Bo looked up at me, our eyes met and I could see a flood of emotions flow through them, probably as many I felt in that moment. She sat on the edge of the bed, looking towards the bathroom door, "don't worry about it, the doctor said you will heal completely." she bit her bottom lip, "its a miracle you woke up." it came out a whisper and I barely caught it. Bo let out as breath and looked at me with a half smile, "i guess it was a good thing I decided to sneak in here and check on you." She reached, grabbing my good hand that laid across my stomach. Silence fell between us.

I didn't know what to say, I was flat out staring at her as if it was the first time I saw her, the last thing I remembered was fighting with her on the phone after her transfer. I squeezed her hand, "bo, I am sorry..."

she shook her head and smiled, "its okay Lauren, I know why you did it." Bo looked me in the eyes, tears just on the cusp of spilling out, "we don't need to talk about it now. You should get some rest." she went to pull her hand from mine to stand up. With the little strength I had, I held tightly on her hand. She paused and looked at our hands together.

A nurse came around the corner, "hey bo, everything cool here? I heard something fall in the bathroom while I was changing room sevens IV."

Bo looked over her shoulder at the nurse, she tried again to pull her hand from mine but I held it, she didn't fight me, "yea, its all good Wendy."

The nurse winked at Bo, "coolness, is it the usual again tonight? You want me to wake you up an hour before Alex gets here?"

Bo looked at me as her face went flush, "uh, yea. I might leave in a few though. I will let you know." The nurse tapped on the doorframe, "cool beans, bo." and she was gone.

"you probably should go back to sleep." she smiled, "try not to go anywhere without help, I will let Wendy you know you are determined to move on the way out." Bo moved to walk out, I squeezed her hand, "bo, will you stay with me?"

I could feel the tears fall down my face and I didn't care, I never expected to see her again after her transfer and something told me that in Alex and her reactions, I almost didn't survive my injuries. Bo squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip. She gave in, "yea, lemme grab a chair."

I whispered, "i meant in the bed, I could use a hug." I smiled weakly at her and my feeble attempt at a joke to hide that I wanted her arms around me. It was the only thing I wanted more than being able to pee freely.

Bo couldn't hold back her smile, "the ice queen wants a hug? Well, that is a first I never thought I would see." Bo walked around the other side of the bed, I heard her shoes hit the floor as she swung up on the bed, trying to position herself close to me. She was moving carefully trying not to hurt me. I felt her body against mine in some spots, it was warm against me. I was still freezing from my trip to the bathroom.

I could hear and feel her gentle, nervous breathing. I looked at her, she was staring ahead and her hair covered most of her face. I reached down and grabbed her hand in my good one, "relax, you wont break me, I cant feel anything with all of the drugs." my voice was smoothing out from the harsh rasp, but it was still a struggle. She smiled and looked at me, Bo was visibly struggling with something.

I closed my eyes, "i don't remember anything, what exactly happened to me and why. My memories are fuzzy, the last thing in my head is the last things I said to you on the phone." I squeezed her hand tighter, "i wish..."

Bo let out a hard sigh, "Lauren, stop. You don't have to explain. I was mad at you, livid, and heartbroken at the shitty things you said. I transferred to be the furthest away from you I could, to forget you and move on, leave you to your self imposed prison of misery."

She looked at me, her eyes were soft, "i was working a simple assault and battery when the call came over the radio. I recognized Alex's voice and the panic in it, my gut told me it was you. I got to the hospital just as they rushed you up to surgery. The other on scene officers told me it was you and what happened." Bo paused before she spoke again, "I felt weird when I saw Alex with your family, I felt that I didn't belong in that moment, because of your last words to me and you pushing me away." Bo sniffled, "i couldn't avoid you though, I have been sneaking in the hospital every night after hours to sit with you. The night nurse Wendy, is a old high school friend of mine, she wakes me up an hour before Alex comes in for his morning visit. I sneak in and sneak out."

Bo smiled as she reached down and wiped the tears away from my cheeks, being gently so as not to press too hard on raw bruises. "as much as I try, I cant shake you Lauren."

"i am glad you cant, Bo." I swallowed and my nerves begged me to ask, "what happened to me?"

Bo's smile faded, "later, we will talk about that later. You need to rest." Bo lifted my hand to her lips, kissing it. She then moved to snuggle up against me, laying an arm across my stomach, gently pulling me close, "here is your hug, now will you fall asleep?"

I nodded as her immense body heat warmed me up, making sleep come easier. I fell asleep as Bo held a hand against my cheek, stroking the one small area I wasn't bruised.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, feeling more rested and clear headed than I had. It was mid afternoon and Ally, the day nurse, told me I had missed Alex and a few other visitors. I told Ally I wanted to try and start walking after my liquid lunch. I was able to walk to the nurses station right outside my room and back with Ally as my crutch. It took a lot out of me and I was eager to crawl back into bed. Dinner was a liquid one, just like lunch. I would not meet any solids for a few more days as my stomach healed from the surgery to repair the tears from the gunshot wound. My parents came to see me, they both hugged me through tears but we soon fell into usual chatter about what had happened in their lives over the last few weeks. Alex stopped by right at the end of visitation and hugged me. I was beginning to see how lucky I was, I also noticed that no one was directly talking about what happened. Dr. Bettis told me that I would have a mild amnesia as my body healed and that in time I would snap out of it and memories would either trickle back or hit me all at once, but in the meantime I had to focus on healing.

Bo came to see me that night. I had told the night nurse, wendy, to wake me up a few minutes before Bo's usual arrival. Bo smiled as she saw me up and flipping through television channels. "you should be asleep, young lady."

I smiled back at her, "i would be, but there has been this woman sneaking in my room at night."

Bo set her bag down and sat on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on my thigh, "you sound better, you don't sound as much of a old smoker anymore. How are you feeling?"

"better? I made it to there and back today." I pointed to the nurses station, "tomorrow, the end of the hallway and back." I sighed hard, I was frustrated that I couldn't move faster and farther. I wanted to be okay already, but my body was telling me that I had been through a lot and the pain meds were masking it all, making me feel like I could run a marathon in the morning.

"for once in your life, take it easy Lauren." Bo slid off the bed and pulled a chair over, she sat down. I hid my disappointment that she didn't crawl in with me like she had the night before, but again I had been a total asshole to her before I ended up in the hospital.

I looked at her, my left eye had opened slightly overnight, making me look like a stoner and not so much a punching bag. I stared at her as she drew her eyes to the television. She still looked tired, "bo, have you been sleeping?"

She shrugged, "here and there. But I work during the day and at night..." she drifted off. I frowned, I felt bad that she was with me, instead of sleeping like she needed too. "you don't have to keep coming in every night, now that I am awake."

"i know, I don't have too, but I want too." she looked at me, "its become a routine." Bo turned her gaze back to the television.

I took a shaky breath, my memories drifted to the last thing I said to her in my house as we left for the last crime scene we worked together. That's when the fuzzy pieces of the crime scene came trickling back, what I had said to her, why I said it to her and what my past held and why I didn't tell her what I wanted too in the moments after the kitchen island incident. I closed my eyes, it wasn't an incident, it was more than that, it was more than sex. It was love, I loved Bo very much and I allowed my past pull that from me. I opened my eyes and stared at Bo, I had apparently escaped death and it was time that I stopped wasting it, my life with Elle was something I would never forget but I also had to at the same time to let someone in.

I sat up and swung my legs to the edge of the bed, Bo stood up and walked to me, "you need to go to the bathroom?"

I shook my head, but I reached out for her hand. She took mine and steadied me as I stood up, "i want to stand up and say this face to face."

Bo held onto me as I found my balance, but never took her arms from mine when I stabilized, "Lauren, I think you should lay back down."

"i love you, bo." I looked her in the eye, "i can sit here and ignore it like I have, push you away day after day because of my past with Elle and my messy childhood that holds more secrets I still have to uncover." Bo's jaw was clenched, "i said stupid things to get you to walk away from me, it was to protect you from someone in my past that I think is after me. But the truth is I love you, I love you so much that it scares me. I was lying when I implied what we did in my kitchen was..nothing." I closed my eyes to power through the mild dizziness I felt, "i knew I was in trouble when I first laid eyes on you..." I opened them, bo was still staring at me hard. "i might be too late, because I am stubborn, but...i love you."

I wobbled and went to sit back down on the edge of the bed, I opened my mouth to ramble more, but I was met with soft lips against mine, Bo's hand on my cheek, as she kissed me as soft as she could without hurting me. She pulled back just enough to whisper, "you know you said I love you four times?"

I looked into her eyes, a tear sliding down her face, "i did?"

She laughed lightly, "you did, you never repeat yourself, Lauren." she bent forward and kissed the corner of my mouth that was still healing, I flinched against my will and Bo stepped back, "oh, I am sorry."

I shook my head, "i will suffer through it." I smiled and brushed her hair out of Bo's face with my good hand. I suddenly wanted to lie down, "will you help me back to bed."

Bo smiled as she eased me back into bed. She soon followed, curling up into me like she did the night before. As she kissed the edge of my jaw, she whispered, "i love you too, lauren. I have for a very long time." I looked down at her, "how long have you been creeping on me?"

Bo laughed, "i have always had a long distance admiration crush on you, but then I actually met you and I could see through the bullshit you handed out, I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with you. Each day I learned more and more about you, and how complex you are. You are intelligent, strong, beautiful, sassy, stubborn and have a heart that is bigger than you want to show anyone. It was hard not to fall for you."

I looked up at the ceiling, "i still have a lot to tell you." I pulled her close, ignoring the sore spots her body pressed against, "i am about to pass out, will you be back tomorrow?"

Bo snuggled into my chest, "wouldn't miss it for the world."

**More to come! things will pick up, but I needed to do this chapter before things all shook out to crazy again...that and I really need to be friend with sleep again...BUT! I will continue! REVIEWS REVIEWS! hand them out cause I love them and you all!**


	9. Chapter 9

Over the next week I started moving more and more, my bruises faded more and I was starting to feel normal. Dr. Bettis would encourage me and tell me that one more day and he would consider sending me home. I had to smile at his positive attitude, it was working on me. I was now able to walk slowly around the floor I was on with little assistance. I had upgraded to solid foods and was excited when Alex brought me a cheeseburger, that I promptly threw up five minutes after I ate it. Alex laughed at me as he helped me back to the bed. "sorry Lt. I figured you could use the grease and fat, you are looking a little bony lately."

I sat on the bed and stared at him, sipping water. My mind was starting to clear out and I was able to remember things here and there. My right arm was the only thing that was still the major hurdle, I would try to move it, flex it and I would be met with dull pain and stiffness. It was still wrapped up like a mummy and I was desperate to get it off and see for myself what was underneath.

I watched Alex as he finished his greasy burger. WE were watching some silly cop movie and picking apart the mistakes in proper procedures. I was starting to miss work, I knew then I was starting to feel better. As Alex and I were laughing at a car chase scene, I heard a gentle knock on the door to my room. I looked up to see Captain Jameson smiling and holding a fruit basket. "lieutenant, its good to see you."

I smiled, "Captain."

Jameson set the fruit basket down on the table across from me, folding his arms, "i was happy to here you were awake and moving around. I apologize in the delay in visitng, I wanted to make sure your family got first dibs."

I nodded, my dad told me that Jameson had been by everyday while I was in my coma to check up on me and the days he couldn't make it, he would call my parents. "Captain, I hope to make it back to work in a week or so, if that is okay with you."

Jameson sighed, "its okay to take time off Lauren, Alex has been picking up the slack and the lieutenant from ninth district is running things until you come back." I looked at him, he smiled, "don't worry, no one is using your office." Jameson looked down, "but you are more than welcome to come back as soon as your doctor clears you."

"thank you, captain."

Just then there was another light knock on the door, the three of us turned to see Agent Sarah Cameron standing in the door way. I smiled as Jameson and Alex immediately straightened up and put on their best manners.

She took notice and smiled, "pardon me gentlemen, but I was wondering if I could have a moment with Lieutenant Lewis."

Jameson nodded and Alex looked at me for approval, "its okay, Alex. I think my stomach has settled enough for now. But could you bring me back a smoothie and maybe a salad?"

Alex winked, "Anything you want." Jameson and Alex issued polite comments to Sarah and took their leave. She closed the door behind them and pulled up a chair. She smiled, "how are you feeling?"

I sighed, "i am getting there, I am getting tired of being asked that though. It reminds me of how much farther I have to go in this healing process. I don't have patience." I smiled at Sarah, "maybe you can help me out. My friends and family have been skirting the edge of what happened to me. I have temporary amnesia from my injuries. But I am getting frustrated that no one thinks I can handle the truth."

Sarah smiled and looked down at her elegant hands, "it is understandable. I am surprised myself that no one has told you. I actually am here because of what happened." she looked at me, "what is the last thing you remember?"

I leaned against my pillow, looking up at the drop ceiling, "i went home, dug through my foster records, slowly put the pieces together that Ethan Carpenter was a suspect. Then I got a call from Alex that our UC had picked up someone at the bar, then it all fades out to when I woke up in the hospital a couple of weeks ago looking like a truck ran over me."

Sarah nodded, then dug in her briefcase and set a large file folder on her lap, "i can tell you what happened to you, I have reviewed your progress with Dr. Bettis before I came in here, he is certain that you have recovered enough, mentally, that as I fill in the gaps, you wont have any issue." she opened the file, "i think your amazing support group has plenty to do with this." she then looked at me in the eyes, "you tell me if you want to know, and you can tell me when to stop."

I took a deep breath, "was it Ethan."

Sarah nodded, "it was. Ethan has been tracking you for the last year, you put the pieces together on your own, with the help of the foster files and the clues he left you. He led you and the officers to the corn cob towers and made it so you were the one to confront him." she paused and looked at me, I was clenching my jaw but nodded for her to continue, "you had a stand off of sorts. It became a brutal fight and Detective Cambridge showed up at the last moment as Ethan was leaving his mark on you."

Sarah handed me the official report, I caught a quick glimpse of crime scene photos, cringing at the sight of a large lake of blood on the garage floor, it was then the memories started trickling in.

"Detective Cambridge received a stab wound to his right leg, shots were exchanged, but Ethan disappeared. There was a blood trail that led to the river and then nothing. You barely survived the injuries he inflicted on you. When you woke up, you remembered very little. Dr. Bettis wanted your family and friends to keep things hush hush until you stabilized. He was worried any sudden trauma would hinder your rehabilitation."

I listened to her as I read over the graphic details of the attack on me. Alex's eye witness statement was heartbreaking and as I read further it started coming back to me. I had to close my eyes as Ethan's face flashed in my mind, him over me, the knife glinting in the low light. I ran my good hand over the bandaged arm and looked at Sarah, "he told me that he had killed the three victims to grab my attention. I was his first test subject and he never forgot me."

Sarah nodded, "i am sorry Lauren."

I set the file down, "has he been found?"

She shook her head, "he escaped, he is severely injured. Detective Cambridge swore up and down that he shot him in center mass, a debilitating wound. There was a large amount of blood in the trail we found. But we have yet to find a body." Sarah moved closer to me, "you are safe though, there has been a quite detail, placed by me from day one, watching over you and your loved ones." she pocked up the police report and returned it to the file, "i need your help. Since your father called me to pull your files, something fell onto my radar. I think Ethan has been responsible for more than just the three homicides here. I know that its probably a little insensitive to ask this of you, but I need your help. You know Ethan better than any of us, you know his work. Would you be willing to help me connect the dots in some cold cases?"

I sighed hard and laid my head down, "how do you know my dad? And what do you do for the FBI exactly?"

Sarah smiled, "ask your father about me, he will tell the story better than I can.

As for what I do, I work for the BSU, behavioral science unit. I profile and catch serial killers."

I went silent, everything Sarah had told me began to sink in, the feelings that had come back, the original ones I felt when I put together Ethan was responsible. I had to close my eyes as that moment on the garage floor replayed over and over. I had barely survived. My chest felt heavy, I also remembered not being able to pull the trigger faster. If only I had, things would be different and I would not have to worry about a madman coming after me. There was no body, no solid proof Ethan was dead.

"i hope you don't mind, I grabbed these from Alex and told him I wanted a moment alone with you." Bo walked in the room, her hands full of my food request. She paused as she saw Sarah, "oh, I am sorry. Alex didn't tell me you had a visitor." Bo set the food down and looked at Sarah, "hi, I am Bo Dennis, Lieutenant Lewis's old partner."

I smiled lightly at Bo's attempt to keep up professionalism. Sarah stood up and held out her hand and as Bo took it, "Special Agent Sarah Cameron, FBI. I was checking on the Lieutenant here. Her father and I are old friends." I had to smile at Sarah's attempt to keep up professionalism, especially when I knew Sarah would know exactly who Bo was.

I had to cut the tension, "Bo this is the agent that was able to get me my birth records and foster files, she also helped me figure out who Ethan is."

Bo looked confused and paused when I said is, "its nice to meet you Agent Cameron." Sarah smiled and looked at me, "i will be back in a few days, and we can talk further." she nodded at Bo and walked out of the room in a whisper.

Bo sat on the edge of the bed and opened my salad, I grabbed her arm, "she told me what happened, I understand why none of you wanted to tell me right away."

Bo stopped fidgeting with the salad and looked at me, her face was pale, "Lauren, it was bad, I didn't think I would ever see you again."

"i know, I have the scars that tell me so. But now, we need to find him." I was surprised at how calm I was. It could have been the fact that I had a secret security detail watching over me, or that I had survived. I was now more determined to heal faster. I looked at her, "did I ever tell you I was born in Detroit?"

Bo smiled and looked at me, "no, but it explains a lot." I poked her lightly, "can you sit and listen to a few stories? I have to tell you them, so I can protect you. He will come back for me, I know he will."

"how can you be so calm about this all? Lauren, I cant imagine how I would feel if it was me, are you sure you are human?" she smiled lightly, then shook her head, "he is probably dead by now, Alex shot him...there was a lot of blood."

"but no body." I pulled at Bo to move closer, "i love you, bo. You need to know everything I have to tell you. Because if he is still alive, he will be after me and you, because you are the one thing I love most." I met her eyes, "i am not calm, I am determined, to end this, like I couldnt in that garage."

Bo looked at me and pulled me into a half hug, "you said it twice..." she kissed the space between my jaw and my ear, "i love you Lauren." she pulled back, "so Detroit, huh?"

**I know, another short one, but I threw this up in a moment of downtime...it took a different turn than I expected but it will be interesting as it plays out! reviews! BRING THEM ON! please?!**


	10. Chapter 10

that night after Bo left to go home and get some sleep, after I gently forced her too. She had been sleeping in the cramped hospital bed with me or in the small chair in the room, I felt bad and wanted her to get a real night of sleep. I was alone in the room and the floor was quiet, I had the television on but I couldn't focus on what I was watching, Sarah's visit had me antsy and anxious.

I slipped out of the bed and shuffled to the bathroom, I turned on the light and washed my face, looking closer at the fading bruises. I looked at my arm, and sighed. I picked at an edge and started unraveling the gauze bandage. When I was done I turned my arm over and stared at the thin line of stitches that led from my thumb to almost the middle of my forearm. I could tell great care had been taken to close up the large cut. It was still red and very sore when I touched it. I tried to flex my arm and wrist, I found it to be still very painful, just as painful as the memory of where it came from. The cool air felt good on my arm and I left the bandage on the bathroom counter as I went back to bed.

When I laid down the night nurse came in to check on me, she eyed my lack of bandage around my arm and gave me a look. I shrugged and she went to work wrapping it back up. When she was done she smiled at me, "i will tell Dr. Bettis that you want the bandage off, I think we can probably get rid of it while you are still in the hospital."

"how much longer will I be in this windowless room?" I was getting agitated and really wanted to go home and lay in my own bed and eat something other than bland tasteless hospital food.

"i wish I could answer you." Wendy patted me as she left my room. I returned to sitting and staring at the television.

I fell asleep in the middle of some old movie and was dreaming about nothing but my bed. I felt a strong hand on my leg, shaking me awake.

"Lieutenant. Wake up." Alex's voice was soft but I could tell there was something wrong.

I blinked as I looked at him, he was wearing a bulls t-shirt and had his detective badge hanging around his neck. "hey." I was still on pain killers that always took me a minute to wake up from.

Alex smiled tightly, "they didn't want to get you involved since you are still on medical leave, but I think its important." he sighed and looked at the ceiling, "up on the gold coast they found another body, in Bo's district."

I felt a moment of panic, "i am going to assume its not just a normal homicide."

Alex shook his head, "Bo was the lead detective." he paused and looked at me, "she is okay, a little shaken." he handed me a file, "its still her case, because no one knows her involvement with you, just that you two are a good friends."

I took the file from his hands and looked at the rough preliminary photographs. It was a female victim, she was positioned just like Emma and David. Great care was taken in the placement, the female was nude from the waist up and I could see a cut on the waist, in the exact position mine is on my waist. There was a carving on the stomach, I cringed as I looked at it. "Alex, the specifics of my crime never got out, like how I am connected to Ethan?"

he shook his head, "just the four of us, the papers, the media and the rest of the department only know that the attack on you was just a random showdown with a madman."

I tossed the photographs on to my lap, the carving staring at me. I let out a breath as Alex scooped up the file, "he is a sick bastard, I knew when I read Detroit is for lovers, Ethan had returned."

"any trace evidence? Anything to lead us to where he may be at? Or could this be a copycat?"

Alex met my eyes, "its not a copy cat." he pulled out a evidence bag from his pocket, "Bo found this under the victims head and hid it as fast as she could before anyone else saw it."

I grabbed the bag when I saw the polaroid in stuck to the thin plastic of the bag. It was the polaroid taken of Bo and I at the bar celebrating a retirement. I closed my eyes and saw the face of the young man who took it. The same blue eyes staring at me asking me for a hero picture, were the same ones that stared at me as Ethan pinned me to the ground before he dug his knife in.

I handed the bag back, "we need to get Bo into protective custody and I need to get out of here." I went to get up and out of the bed, Alex put a gentle hand on my shoulder, "i put a unit on her to watch, but she has refused any sort of protection. bo is stubborn like you, and you, you need to stay here and finish healing."

I stared at him, "fine. But come back in the morning with more details. I want to stay involved on this case."

Alex stood up and clutched the file in his hand, "will do Lieutenant. There are a few guys keeping an eye on you too. I placed them at the elevators so you don't have to stare at them and they are a little less obvious."

* * *

I smiled as Alex left my room. I waited about ten minutes to make sure he was completely off the floor. I rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. I had grabbed my patient belongings bag from the closet. I dumped everything out and frowned when all I had in the bag was my wallet, badge, cellphone, keys and an old t-shirt that was Alex's. I was wearing pajamas that my mother eventually brought to me, but I knew it would be noticeable that I was a patient in pajamas. I slipped out into the hallway, nodding at Wendy that I was just going to take a short walk. I walked to the doctors on call room and pilfered a pair of hospital scrubs and went back to my room. I changed in the bathroom quietly and since I knew Wendy's schedule from sleepless nights, she would be doing her rounds in a minute. I waited as she walked to the far end of the floor.

I shuffled to the nurses station in the slippers my mother brought with the pajamas, I found a self release form. I filled it out and left it on Wendy's computer. That way she would not get in trouble for me walking out on her shift. I quickly took the elevator and past the two officers who were sleeping heavily with their heads against the cold walls. One half woke up when he heard the elevator ding, he smiled and just said, "doctor, have a good one."

I smiled and nodded, stepping to the back of the elevator as it opened. I hit the lobby button and laughed that the two best officers Alex put on my watch did not notice that the doctor was wearing pink slippers.

The cold night hit me and I folded my arms, shivering as I hailed a cab. I could see the cab driver looking back at me in the rearview mirror, staring at the bruises that still lingered. He pulled in front of my house, I handed him money and finally said, "i ran into a door..."

The cab driver handed me back my receipt, "lady, you should call the police if your boyfriend is hitting you like that."

I smiled, "you should see what I did to him." I closed the door and shuffled up to my front door. I jammed the keys in and relished the feeling that I was back in my own house. I closed the door and double locked it.

* * *

The pile of mail on the table was sorted, letting me know my mother had been in the house. I walked around the house, checking to see if anyone else had been in the house aside from trusted people. I was relieved when it was apparent only family had been in the house. I went upstairs to my bedroom and grabbed my extra gun, it was still loaded and ready. I took it into the bathroom with me as I took the longest, hottest shower I could stand, with a plastic bag covering my still bandaged arm.

After the shower, I bandaged my healing stomach wound. The packing had been taken out days ago and all that was left was to keep it clean and dry. I left the other wound uncovered, it was Ethan's failed attempt at carving something in my skin. It was healing on its own and looked nothing but nail scratches.

In my closet I found an old sweatshirt and my favorite pair of pajama pants. I sat on the edge of the bed and sighed at how badly I wanted to curl up in it. I grabbed my cell phone and turned it on. It lit up with missed calls and texts, I ignored most of them and dialed my father.

"Lauren? Are you okay?" my father's voice was steady and very cop like.

I smiled, "i am, I checked myself out of the hospital about an hour ago."

"why did you do that? Your mother is going to have a fit when she finds out." I could hear he was moving away from my mother as his voice dropped in a whisper.

"there was another body tonight, Ethan is still alive and sent me a message. If I stayed in the hospital, I would be a easy target. I also think he may be after my friend." I cringed at it when I said it, but Bo and I had just begun to sort out our feelings for each other.

My father sighed, "well, being home isn't exactly safer. Do you have your sidearm?"

"i do, the extra one I keep at home. But I called to ask you something, ask you about someone. Agent Sarah Cameron."

I could hear him pause, "she told me she had visited you, and asked for your help. What do you want to know?"

"who she is and how does she know you...and why does she seem to think she owes you? Owes you enough to help me like she has been."

I heard him take a deep breath, "Sarah was doing a sting for the FBI a handful of years ago, when you were a brand new road officer and I was pushing paperwork with sgt stripes, and she was a rookie agent. She had been linked with us to keep an eye on a Russian mafia human trafficking ring operating out of the city. One night I was her backup as she went in to work out a buy for the next order out of Russia. Sarah slipped and they picked up she was a cop and they tried to teach her a lesson with their fists. I was able to intercede right before they beat her to death." he drifted away, "i saved her life, the three guys who were using her as a punching bag never quiet managed to survive to see a trial. I helped her with her bosses and she was transferred to a different division, we have kept in contact as the years rolled by."

I sat and listened, it was hard for me to picture my father doing anything other than smiling and helping people. But I knew he had the same protective streak I did when it came to protecting good people. I wanted to know what exactly happened to the three men, but I was focused on other things. "she told me to ask you the story, I needed to know if I could trust her as it seems this Ethan thing is not going to end easily." I was about to ask my father about something else when I heard my doorbell ring. My heart stopped in my chest, I told my dad I would call him later and for him to tell no one I was out of the hospital. I dropped my phone in the sweatshirt pocket and grabbed my gun as best as I could in my right hand.

I crept down the stairs as the door bell rang a couple more times, there was no reason anyone should be at my door. I had just left the hospital and Alex or Bo would not know I had self discharged until the afternoon. I began to shake as I moved closer to the door.

I reached out and grabbed the door knob and tried to get a better grip on the gun, my right hand was far from healed and it struggled to flex and hold the weight of the gun properly. I counted to three and ripped open the door, pointing a wobbling gun in the face of whoever stood at my door, "i wont make the same mistake twice." my adrenaline was pouring into my body, making me shake as I used muscles that were still healing, and my vision was unfocused from fear.

"Holy shit, Lauren put the gun down!" I had expected a male voice coming out of the dim light of my front step, instead I as met with a soft female voice, my fear wasn't letting me think clearly, as I saw Bo duck to the side out of the line of fire and reach for her own gun.

It was a second before I realized it was actually Bo standing there, crouching out of the way. I reached with my left hand and flicked on the porch light, Bo was standing there, in her detective clothes, hand still on her gun. But when the light came on, she put her hands up and in a gentle calming voice, "Lauren, its ok, its just me."

I shut my eyes and leaned against the wall, the adrenaline began to dump out of my blood and I felt the pain rising from body parts pushed a little too hard. I had to drop my gun on the table, my right hand had given up on me. I slid down the wall to sit on the floor as Bo stepped into the house, closing the door quickly behind me. She knelt down next to me, running a hand over my hair, "i went to stay with you at the hospital, why did you check yourself out?"

I looked at her, "you know why." she met my eyes and sighed, "Alex told you."

I nodded, "i cant sit in the hospital and wait for him to come to me. Its obvious he knows I am still alive and he knows about you." I reached for the edge of the side table to pull myself up. I cringed at the pain I felt and the lack of strength. Bo whispered, "let me help you."

Bo wrapped strong arms around my waist and lifted me up as I pushed on the table. When I was up, I sighed lightly at the feel of Bo against me, her warmth and softness was welcomed. She had been staying with me every night, but it was hard for us to relax if she crawled into the bed with me. The hospital bed was not made for two and she was still wary that my sore spots would be mashed. I could tell she was eager, as I felt her hand squeeze gently on my side. "lets get you to bed."

I couldn't hide my blush at the idea, it was an innocent idea as Bo hoisted more of my weight and helped me up the stairs.

As I sat on the edge of the bed, Bo looked around my room. Smiling at all of the books in the room, and the obvious piles of casework I had left on my desk so long ago. "its hard to believe that you chose to be a cop of all things when its clear you are smarter than the average police officer." she turned to look at me.

I opened my drawer and put the gun back inside, I wanted to keep it close even though it was just proven my right hand was useless and the gun would be ineffectual. "i was accepted to medical school almost two years ago, I was six months close to early retirement in the department and on the verge of starting a life in medicine."

Bo stared at me, "you were going to retire?"

I nodded, "this job was getting to me then, I was about to start my life with." I paused, it felt strange talking about Elle after I revealed my feelings to Bo, "anyways, the job was becoming too much, it still is. I found my early retirement package in the bottom of my desk a few weeks ago and I think after this is done, its time to leave this career." I sighed and pushed at the blankets, "i need to keep you close, he will be after you next."

Bo moved closer to me, "i will be fine, I can protect myself." I could feel her scan over my injuries, "i think you might need someone to keep an eye on you."

I ignored her comment, "i can put you with my parents, or Agent Cameron can put you in witness protection if I ask." I was going into protective mode, at least with Bo I could prevent something from happening.

"Lauren, no. We haven't gotten proof that its actually Ethan and the polaroid, anyone could have gotten that from the bar." Bo folded her arms and I could feel the infamous temper begin to rise. "no one knows about you and I." there was tinges of irritation in her voice as she said it, I knew she felt wary about Sarah and her secretiveness whenever Bo was around.

"it is him. Detroit is for lovers is from the freeway sign that hung right outside the foster home Ethan and I grew up in. it glared into the living room window day after day." I closed my eyes, it was also a reminder to all of us in the foster home that finding anyone to love us was a hopeless cause.

Bo sighed hard, "i can protect myself, I always have and always will."

I looked at her hard, "i have to keep you safe, I couldn't bear it if I lost you like I did..." I drifted off again.

"like Elle? It was an accident, you have to stop beating yourself over something you could not control. You have lived in that moment for the last two years."

I cut her off, "stop. This is different."

bo held up her hand, "i told Alex not to tell you, because I was worried you would push yourself too hard and want to do this exact thing. Gain control and put up walls." she took a step to the door, "your past is all that you ever live for, Lauren."

I could feel the anger in her, she was right. From the moment I met her, my past was always on the forefront, keeping me at bay with my feelings or trying to push people away so I could control the situation. It was innocent enough, especially with Bo, I wanted to make sure Ethan would not touch her or use her in anyway. But her words bit deep, "you don't understand, Bo." it came out harder than I wanted.

I hit a nerve, Bo turned around, "i don't understand? Really. I understand you have not had the greatest life, but you have come out of it remarkably well, but don't push it on me like that. I do understand, I was raised by a single mother, a alcoholic single mother who dumped me with our creepy neighbors whenever she would go out to make money stripping or hooking, strange men at our house every night. I raised myself, learned how to fight off men with grabby hands and the kids who picked on me for my old clothes. I grew up only knowing that side of life until a female cop came into my school for career day. I latched onto her and she became my big sister. Showing me there was more to life than living in the past where the future can be changed in a moment." Bo's voice had raised, "i became a police officer so I could help others change their future, I know its cliché, but Kenzi was the first of many." I looked at her as I watched the memories flow across her eyes.

she took a breath, "i may not understand what pain you went through, but I know that you cant keep living in the past, when I met you...it gave me hope. That I could get through to someone and love them for everything they are and aren't, and you would let me into that heart of yours." Bo let out a breath, "i love you, Lauren, its as simple as that, but I am not going to keep going back and forth with you when someone or something wants to pull us apart."

Bo moved out of the door, when I said nothing in return, she was right and it made me stay silent. She whispered, "good night." I could see how hurt she was as she took soft steps down the steps.

I couldn't let her leave like that, I stood up and walked down the steps as fast as my legs would let me, "wait. bo."

She had opened the front door and paused, "what now, Lauren. Are You going to tell me something else I don't understand about you or how I should feel?"

I stood behind her, close enough I could feel the body heat from her. I reached with my good hand and shut the door, holding it close. I whispered, "i am going to tell you are right, I do live in the past. Always have...i hate that I do, but I never had a reason to change." I bent closer to her, moving my hand from the door to her arm, "until you. I am afraid to lose you...when I just found you."

Bo kept her back to me, "then don't lose me, but trust me." I heard the soft click of the door lock being secured as Bo turned to look at me, silence fell between us as our eyes met. I could feel my heart start to race as Bo moved closer to me.

Bo reached her hand to my cheek and held it there before closing the space between us and kissing me softly. It was slow, delicate kiss and when she pulled away she smiled, "you should be sleeping."

I smiled, I didn't care that my body was still far behind the thoughts I was having in that moment, I grabbed Bo with my good hand and pulled her close as I bent down and kissed her hard, I pulled away just enough to say, "i think there is something we need to finish properly, more than I need sleep."

Bo smirked as she met my lips again, less gently than her first kiss she pushed into me. I felt her hand go to the small of my back and press me closer as our tongues explored eagerly. Her hands move to the waist of my pajamas pants, she smiled as she looked at me with eyes full of desire, "why are you always in pajamas when we do this?"

I smiled, "always prepared?"

Bo laughed as she ran her hand up under my sweatshirt, making me gasp as her fingertips grazed the bottom of my breasts, she moved her kisses to my neck, I moaned slightly at the feeling of her soft warm lips against my skin. I pulled back to catch my breath and pull her arm with me up to the bedroom. As we made it to my bedroom I felt Bo slid her arms around my waist from behind me, she kissed my neck as she pulled my shirt off of me, still pressed against my back she covered my breasts with her hands, making me groan at the intimate touch I could feel her smile as she kissed my bare shoulder. I wanted to turn in her arms, but Bo held me tightly as her fingers ran slow circles around my nipples. I almost buckled at the feeling of her hand sliding slowly down to the waist of my pajama pants, pausing for a moment before she pushed the thin fabric out of the way.

Bo whispered a profanity I could not make out as her fingers found how much I was craving her. Bo had to hold me tight to her as I pushed against her hand, I held my good hand against hers on my stomach. Just as I was about to come, Bo stopped and pulled her hand from me slowly. Leaving me breathless and incredibly frustrated. I turned in her arms and found her smiling as she grabbed my hips and walked me to the edge of the bed. Bo laid me down on the bed, and scanned over my sweaty flush body, I could see her eyes stop at the bruises and bandages. I reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her down on top of me, our mouths meeting in urgency. It had been too long since our first kiss, and the tension that had been building up in the hospital bed was spilling over. I moaned as Bo nipped at my bottom lip and the feel of her cotton button down shirt against my naked skin was driving me insane. I pushed my hands between us and pulled at the buttons, trying to unbutton them with fumbling fingers. Bo grabbed my hands and pulled them up to kiss my fingers. She then slowed my hands down as we unbuttoned her shirt together.

When Bo was relieved of her shirt she laid gently on top of me, she kissed me as her fingers drew soft, heated lines down my chest, over the swell of my breast and down to my stomach, careful to avoid the bandage. She followed the trail her fingers left with kisses, then settled between my legs and kissed my belly button as she pulled off my pajama pants. She paused and looked at me, I knew what she was silently asking, "i am ok, don't stop on the account of a few bruises and band aids..."

Bo smirked as she kissed my stomach again before moving further down. The feeling of her soft kiss between my legs made me arch off the bed, the sudden movement pulled a moan of desire and pain from me, my muscles were not used to this but I didn't care as each movement of Bo's tongue made me forget. I clung to the bed sheets as waves of ecstasy hit me hard and rode throughout my body. I collapsed against the pillow, breathless. Bo placed soft kisses as she moved back over my body and kissed me deep. I wrapped my arms around her to hold her against me, Bo whispered as she looked at me, her hand on my chest just under the collarbone, her thumb running circles, "i hope that wasn't too much..."

I smiled and kissed her, "whatever pain I feel in the morning is worth it." I looked down at her and saw she was still wearing her pants, "those need to come off."

Bo smiled and sat up, straddling me as she removed the black pants. She sat up over me as I obviously stared at her. I held my hand out so she could help me sit up, with her, out legs wrapped around each other. I pulled her to me, our mouths meeting in a renewed desire as it was clear I wanted to keep going. I held Bo with my bandaged arm as my left hand ran over her body, and between us. Bo took a deep gasp as my fingers teased her before I slowly pushed in, enjoying the feel of how much she wanted me, I smiled as Bo began to move with my hand. I took one of her breasts in my mouth, making her moan and push even harder against me. She matched my movements and before I knew it, her hand had pushed between us and she quickly slipped fingers in, I gasped as she had, I was still sensitive from what Bo had just done to me, but I couldn't resist. We moved together, our hearts racing together, and when we came, both of us cried out as long pent up tension had been finally released.

Both of us were breathless, I moved my hand from Bo and watched as she shuddered again as my fingers grazed very sensitive spots. She opened her eyes and smiled wide, "not bad for a cripple."

I frowned at her playfully as she wrapped her arms around my neck, "i may have pulled something." I laid back onto the bed as bo slid to the side so she could snuggle up against me. Her hand running over my stomach, she rested her head on my shoulder and looked at me, her eyes suddenly very serious, "i mean it when I say I love you Lauren. I don't think I have ever met anyone that I can say matches what I feel for you."

I looked down at her, I ran my hand over her hair and held it against her jaw, "i feel the same, I love you too. More than I thought I would ever be capable of." I bent and kissed her forehead, "i know that sounds ice queenish of me..."

Bo giggled, "it does, but I understand." she held me tighter to her, "we are a work in progress that is for sure, but I like when we fight." Bo kissed my collarbone, "it results in amazing makeup sex."

It was my turn to giggle, "lets just hope I can move in the morning, thank god for the pain killers still lingering in my system." Bo smirked at me, "i guess I should take advantage of this." Before I could object, her hand slid down my stomach, disappearing under the sheet I pulled over us. Bo smiled as she made me moan hard and push against her hand. I suddenly wished I had pilfered some extra pain pills, I knew it was going to be a long amazing night.

* * *

As the morning light poked through the window, delicately warming my eyelids so I would want to open them and wake up. I yawned as I tried to stretch, I was sore beyond belief but the memories of why I was, was enough to keep me from falling into full cranky mode. I rolled over to find Bo with her back to me. She was sleeping gently. I moved closer to her, pressing against her as I wrapped an arm around her. I felt her hand grab mine and our fingers became tangled as she whispered, "morning." she rolled over and smiled, running her hand over my bed head hair, "you should sleep some more, I think we went a little overboard."

I smiled, "maybe." Bo rolled over and looked at the clock, "shit, I need to get ready for work." I sighed as she moved away and got out of bed. I watched her walk to the bathroom naked and sighed even harder. It was a tease when Bo left the door open as she showered, I tried to get up and join her, but my body was now void of pain killers and was extremely angry of my overnight exercise program.

Bo came out a few moments later, still naked and I watched as she dressed. "i will call you in a few, maybe I will stop by for lunch?" her smile made me blush.

"Be careful." I looked at her, she knew why I was saying it. Bo crawled across the bed to give me one last, lingering kiss. " I promise you." She stood up and I watched as she put her gun on. Before Bo left she sat on the edge of the bed with me, "call me if you need anything, I will be over to stay after work." her hand found mine and she held it, looking in my eyes, "i love you."

I smiled, "i love you too, detective Dennis."

Bo laughed as she rolled her eyes, gave me one more kiss and ran down the stairs. I rolled over to her side and ran my hand over where she had just been. It was still warm from her body and the soft scent of her shampoo was everywhere. I fell back asleep with a smile.

* * *

My cell phone woke me up. I grabbed it and saw it was the hospital. I hit ignore and set the phone back down. Two seconds later it rang again, I answered, "Alex, I know. You are going to chew me out for leaving the hospital. But its easier for me to keep myself and Bo safe on my own grounds."

He cut me off, "i am pissed that you blew out of the hospital like an idiot. Dr. Bettis said you should have stayed at least one more week. Beside the point, have you heard from Bo?"

I sat up and ran a hand through my hair, "um, yea this morning. About two hours ago. She left here to go straight to work. Why?"

Alex sighed, "i got a call from her sergeant, she has not shown up to work yet and not answering her phone. Even her roommate cant get a hold of her."

I felt my stomach drop, "did you have a detail on her?"

"we did, they last saw her leaving work and then going home. No one saw her leave her house." Alex was frustrated, "i should not have used road officers to keep an eye on her."

"um, call Agent Cameron. See if her detail saw anything." Alex paused and I knew he wanted to question what I just said. I told him again to call Sarah and hung up on him.

I forced myself out of the bed and pulled on a sweatshirt as I dialed Bo's phone. It went to voicemail three times. On the fourth time, as my heart was about to explode out of my chest, she answered, "bo where are you? They are looking for you at work?" I opened my drawer and pulled out the gun, I was determined to go find her.

"ahh! I knew you would call. I waited until you called four times, to match the times you told your lovely girlfriend you loved her for the first time. Brave of you to admit your feelings so soon, Lauren."

the anger and rage filled my body, I clutched the gun in my left hand, "Ethan."

"aw! You recognized my voice. Its nice to see we still know each other after our little fight that night." Ethan sighed, "i am sure by now your mind is racing why I am answering the phone of the lovely detective Dennis, so I will ruin the puzzle fun for you. I have her, before you say you don't believe me, have a listen."

I heard soft footsteps and quiet whimpers, then Ethan say something. I then heard Bo yelling to get the fuck away from her before she kills him. I gripped the phone so hard I thought I could hear it crack. "Your lover has quiet a temper. I will make sure I beat it out of her like I learned in therapy at the institute, very effective process."

I hissed, "you touch her and I will make sure your death is slow and painful."

Ethan laughed, "i look forward to it, Lauren. In the meantime, you better start looking for us, I am going to get bored with this soon and just kill her." he sighed, "i will give you the first clue, listen." Ethan pulled the phone away and I heard industrial sounds and boats in the background. I closed my eyes as I tried to memorize it. Ethan came back on, "hurry, hurry, hurry." he hung up on me laughing.

** More to come!**


	11. Chapter 11

I called Alex to come get me as I stumbled around to get dressed. I was beginning to panic waiting for him. I ripped the bandage off my arm so I could have a better of range of motion in my right hand. I held the gun in it, trying to get my fingers to want to fold around the grip. Alex pounded on the door as my phone rang again. I looked at the unknown number but answered it anyways, "who is this." it came out as a half yell.

"whoa, detective. Its Kenzi, Bo's roommate. I got back to the apartment and there's something really weird in her bedroom. I think you should get here." I could here fear radiating in her voice.

"what is it Kenzi?" I didn't want to detract from searching for Bo and Ethan.

"i don't think I can explain it over the phone...the shits too weird, like serial killer weird."

I sighed as I looked at Alex, his jaw was clenched tight. "alright, I will be over in a minute." I hung up on Kenzi.

"what the hell is going on Lauren?" I didn't explain anything to Alex when I called him, I told him to get to me as soon as possible.

I clutched the gun, "Ethan has Bo, I have no idea how he did it." I closed my eyes, "he gave me a clue but I have yet to figure it out, we need to go to Bo's apartment first. Her roommate Kenzi just called, I think Ethan left me something in Bo's bedroom."

I pushed past Alex and walked down the steps to his car, he ran after me and we drove off as soon as he started the car. During the drive, I called Sarah to have her meet us at Bo's apartment. I wanted her input on the clue he gave me, she might have insight on Ethan's previous crimes that could give me and idea of where to find him.

I ran up to Kenzi as she sat on the front steps, she had her arms folded and was huddled up. She tried to smile when she saw me, "hey." she stood up and led me to the door, "is my bestie okay?"

I didn't want to scare the small girl, "she will be." I smiled and gently urged Kenzi to get Alex and I in the apartment. Kenzi stepped aside as Alex and I went in, guns up and ready. After the apartment was clear, I motioned to Kenzi, "tell me what you came home too."

Kenzi sighed and led me to Bo's bedroom, "i was all over the city today, calling on old friends to see if they could help in tracking bo bo down. I came home to take a nap and I saw her bedroom door open, I figured she came home. But when I looked in her room..." the girl drifted off as she stopped in front of the bedroom door. She pointed to the bed.

The entire bed was covered in pictures and news clippings, I yelled at Alex to come in. he stood behind me, "what the fuck is this Lauren?"

I stood close to the bed and scanned over the clippings, they were all about me, every single one of my cases that made the news was cut neatly and placed in order. It ran from my first big case, to the times I was injured on duty, my promotions and lastly was the article about the night in the garage. The photographs around the clippings were of me, on the job. In the middle of the bed was a large picture of Bo walking out of my apartment just a few hours ago. There was a cartoon bubble coming from her mouth, in block letters in the bubble it read, "call me! Clue number two is waiting." I reached out to grab it with a shaky hand, Alex stopped me, "evidence, Lt." he looked at the cartoon bubble, "call me? What does that mean."

I pulled out my phone, "it means Ethan is playing a game with me and I have to play along to keep Bo alive."

I dialed Bo's number and stood over the bed as Alex tried to link my cell phone to Bo's for a trace.

"you are right on time, Lauren. Actually ahead of schedule, I am proud of you." Ethan had a giddy tone in his voice that made me sick .

"where is she?" I didn't want to play his games.

"oh you didn't like my little art collage? It took me a longer than I thought, I had to slip out the window as the roomie came home sooner than I had hoped."

Alex held up a hand letting me know he was running the trace and I had to stay on the phone longer. I took a breath, "why are you doing this? Why her?"

"because, she is important to you, she is something you care about. I want to ruin that feeling you have every time you think about her, every time you look at her. You two are adorable, especially her. I watched her in the hospital sit with you and pray to her god that she could have one more minute with you. Then it actually warmed my heart to watch you two curl up in bed together. I decided then I had to have her, not because I want her in the same ways you do. I want to watch you as you watch her die." He sighed hard on the phone, "you were too smitten with her to even notice me as I slipped in and out of your room everyday. People never really notice an orderly with what appears to be a learning disorder, the only time in my life I was treated kindly."

I closed my eyes, "i will kill you, Ethan, before you have a chance to lay a finger on her."

Ethan laughed, "so brave of you, Lauren. But time is running out, I am starting to get bored." he pulled the phone away then came back to it, "oh I forgot your second and final clue is David." he hung up the phone before I could say anything.

Alex yelled, "fuck, not long enough to get a accurate positioning."

I looked around at the room, "he gave me another clue, David." I ran a hand through my hair, my mind searching through everything.

"David? That's it?" Alex paced around the room.

I heard a soft voice behind me, "David is the first victim of ethan's here. He is referencing where you found the body."

I turned to the voice and found Sarah standing in the doorway, her eyes went to the bed, "he has a pattern that he rarely breaks, Ethan loves finishing things where he started."

I walked to her, a sinking feeling, "what makes you think that, agent?"

"i have been tracking Ethan for years since I moved into the BSU, I cant get into details right now. But you and I, Lauren have a lot more in common than I thought." she looked at me with deep blue eyes, "Ethan killed someone I loved because I got too close to him."

she looked at Alex who was staring hard at us, "we don't have time for this, I will explain everything when the time is right."

Sarah turned to walk out of the room, "Lauren do you remember the address where you found the first victim?"

I looked at Alex, "i do." I took steps to follow Sarah, when Alex grabbed my arm, "i don't know how I feel about this, something is fishy with the good Agent."

"if she is right, it gets me one step closer to saving Bo and removing Ethan, Its a risk I have to take." I put a hand on his, "call for backup and meet us at the first crime scene, same signal as always."

Alex sighed, "i don't like this, Lauren. But I will have your back. And I am not going to wait like I did last time, last time I did I almost lost my partner."

I tried to smile as his hand left my arm. I walked out of the apartment building, leaving Alex to arrange backup and talk to Kenzi. I climbed into Sarah's very governmental sedan.

* * *

We raced to the docks where Ethan's first crime scene was. Sarah stepped out of the car first and looked around, she had her gun drawn and looked at me, "stay close to me, how is your hand?"

I looked down at my arm, there was some blood seeping out of the stitches, "it will work if I make it."

Sarah nodded, "stay close."

I followed Sarah as we navigated through the rows of warehouse that sat on the semi abandoned docks. I began to feel deja vu and when I glanced to the right I recognized the area, I whispered to Sarah, "it should be one of these buildings, right over there is where we found David."

Sarah nodded and we crept up to the closest buildings, Sarah slowly pushed opened one of the side doors to a dilapidated warehouse that looked like it was straight out of a horror movie. Sarah and I stood on each side of the doorframe looking in. it was dimly lit and smelled like rust and the river. Sarah motioned me to follow her in.

As we took a step, I heard something fall in the warehouse behind me. I turned to look in the direction, I motioned to Sarah to hold for a minute. I focused and heard some dragging in the warehouse, a few footsteps then nothing. I went with my gut and walked towards the other warehouse. I paused as I stood at a similar door we had just opened, Sarah came up quietly and nodded to me, on the count of three she pushed the door open.

The interior of the second warehouse was brightly lit, but still had an eerie feeling about it. I looked around at the empty shipping crates, the long forgotten piles of rope and tools dotting the interior. I smelled the same mixture of rust and water, but there was something else filling my nose. I swallowed hard when I recognized the smell as that of blood, fresh blood.

My heart pounded and I acted, I stepped quickly into the room with my gun up, scanning around. I could hear Sarah behind me curse as she tried to cover me but seek cover, as I should have. I took a few steps into the middle of the room when I heard his voice.

"maybe the clues were too easy to figure out, it doesn't matter. I wasn't really into this game." Ethan's voice floated around me, the echo's made it hard for me to pinpoint a direction of where he could be standing. I heard a few footsteps as he spoke again, "i cant say I am not excited though, its always a pleasure seeing you Lauren. But I must apologize, I got bored waiting and started without you."

I yelled through a clenched jaw, "if you hurt her in anyway...i will do the same to you but tenfold."

Ethan laughed, "i didn't hurt her...well I mean she wont feel the hurt for much longer. Each passing second she feels less and less. It happens when your life is slowly falling out of you."

I was trying to control my panic, I tried telling myself Ethan was lying. That he was only saying this to make me lose control and focus. Throw me off guard. I shouted in the direction of his voice, "let her go. This is between me and you, fucking come out in the open and take me to her. You can have whatever you want, just let her go." I criticized myself for negotiating with this madman, but I had to save Bo. No matter what the cost. I turned in a circle hoping to spot Ethan, I caught Sarah looking at me, she made a motion to a ladder that led up to a second level. She then ran to it and quietly climbed up it.

"come out and show yourself." I yelled again, I was getting impatient. I heard a loud thump behind me, I turned to it. I saw Sarah fall to the ground on top of a pile of old rope, she was bleeding from the head and unconscious. I instinctively ran to her. That was my mistake.

As I crouched next to her to see if she was still alive, I felt the air behind me move and before I could spin around, someone grabbed my right arm, digging fingers deep into my stitches. I shrieked in pain and dropped my gun. I felt another arm wrap around me and cover my mouth with a piece of duct tape he had in his hand.

"Shhhh, Lauren, lets try and not wake the neighbors." Ethan's breath was hot on my cheek as he pulled me closer against him.

I tried fighting to get away from him, but every move I made, fingers dug deeper in to my still healing arm. "if you stop, I will let you see her." I gave in to his request, I was in too much pain.

Ethan smiled, "good girl." he grabbed my left arm and held it behind my back before he handcuffed my right arm. He kept his grip on my stitches. He stood next to me, "i am glad you brought Agent Cameron with you, it has been a long time since I last saw her. I had fun with her for a few years, but like everything I grew bored after I killed her wife." Ethan looked at me with cold dead blue eyes, "then I found you." he smiled, "but I guess two birds with one stone? This will be enjoyable for me."

Ethan pulled me by the arm as we walked through the warehouse to a side office, the smell of blood grew stronger. Ethan kicked the door open and pushed me inside, my eyes fell on to Bo laying over a table, her arms in front of her with her hands tied to the legs of the table. She was unconscious and still wearing the clothes she left my house in, but they were now blood soaked. Her face was covered in bruises and cuts, tape over her mouth. There was a growing pool of blood under her I went to run to her, but Ethan yanked me back, "not yet."

I tried pulling from him again and was met wit a hard right punch that knocked me out, "i told you, not. Yet."

I was woken up by a bucket of water being dumped over my head, I gasped hard and was relieved I could breath through my mouth, the tape was gone. I tried to stand up as soon as I saw Bo on the table but I found I was sitting down and handcuffed to an old steel chair. I screamed, "i will kill you!"

Ethan threw the bucket as he walked to stand in front of me, he bent down in front of me, "you should have already, Lauren." he reached up to run a hand over my hair, I flinched trying to move away from his touch, but was met with him grabbing my hair and pulling me closer, "this is my goodbye gift to you, you should never be rude when someone gives you a gift." Ethan flung my head back and stepped away so I could see Bo again. I felt tears streaming down my face as I looked at her, she was still breathing, but it was slow.

"you motherfucking fucker, I will make you regret the day you ever met me."

Ethan laughed as I heard a dragging noise, l turned and saw him dragging Sarah across the floor, she was still unconscious and was tied up in a ball. He threw her down like she was a rag doll. He dusted his hands, "oh don't say such things, you have enriched my life more than you can understand, Lauren." he waved his hands around the room, "look at all the lovely women you brought to me." he walked over to the table and grabbed another bucket, he dumped cold water all over Bo. Shocking her awake.

"Ah! Sleeping beauty awakens!" Ethan clapped as he walked to the other side of the table and grabbed a chair. He sat down next to the table and pulled out a knife. Bo's eyes found mine and she whimpered under the tape, tears flowed freely from her and I could see her struggle under the rope binding her arms. Ethan bent close to Bo, "is there something you would like to say to your lover? Detective Dennis? Last words and sentiments?"

Bo looked at him as he pulled a corner of the tape, she was weak but still spit at Ethan, "i hope she kills you slowly, you fucking piece of shit." Ethan giggled and clapped his hands, "still feisty! Even as your life is about to end, I can admire that and understand why lovely Lauren fell for you." Ethan turned to me, "she fought me hard when I snatched her off your doorstep. All glowing and smiles from your night together. She was oblivious until I had her in my arms."

Bo hissed at him, "fuck you, you psychopath." Ethan's smile faded and he stared hard at Bo, she had hit a nerve. He stood up quickly and grabbed her arm, cutting the rope freeing it. He then held her wrist in a strange angle that made her yelp, he met my eyes as he dug the tip of his knife into her wrist and pulled down. I screamed at him as I saw the blood begin to drip out. When he was happy he slammed Bo's arm back down onto the table and tied it back up. He quickly did the same to her other arm. She tried fighting, but the more she moved the more her wrists bled.

I was crying hard, "bo, stop fighting it, I will save you I promise. Save your strength...please." I wiggled in the handcuffs hoping I could slip out of them. Bo was losing her strength and laid her head back down, "Lauren, don't make a promise I cant keep." I saw in her eyes she was giving up with each drop of blood she lost.

"Bo I will get you out, just wait for me...wait for me." I could feel the blood on my wrists as the handcuffs bit deep into my skin from the friction I was causing trying to get my hands out.

Bo shook her head, she knew better than I did, "i love you, Lauren." her eyes drifted shut and Ethan stood up, waiting for the rise and fall of bo's chest to stop completely before pushing the tape back over her mouth, sighing loudly he turned back to me, "that took longer than I expected, she was waiting to say goodbye to you." Ethan put a hand over his heart in a mocking way, "touching, really."

I didn't hear him, I stared at Bo looking for any signs she was still alive, but I saw nothing. I closed my eyes and felt my anger surge harder as I pulled at the handcuffs, she couldn't be gone, there was no way. I looked again, nothing. I screamed again.

Ethan stepped to me, "shall we? I want to get this done with so I can have my fun with the lovely Agent Cameron, I owe her more than I owe you." He bent down to replace the tape on my mouth. I felt a rush of hatred that I had ever in my entire life felt before. When Ethan reached up with both hands to place a new piece of tape on my mouth, I swung my head down, smashing my forehead into his nose. Bones made contact with a loud crack, Ethan stepped back quickly, grabbing his nose, screaming in pain.

I took advantage of the moment, I kicked him hard in the stomach. Ethan doubled over. I had managed to slip my right hand out of the handcuff, I was free to stand up. I rushed at him as he groaned walking to the desk. When I was a few steps away from slamming into him, he looked up and saw me coming. He moved to the side at the last second and I ran into the desk, knocking the wind out of myself.

I laid on the ground gasping for air, Ethan stood up holding his stomach, blood running down his face. "why do you makes this so hard for yourself? It makes me want to cut deeper." Ethan reached around his back and pulled out his knife, the light caught the edges and made the knife glint like a piece of jewelry. I tried sliding away from him, but all of Bo's blood on the floor made it impossible for me to get away. Ethan grabbed my leg, pulling me to him. He reached down and grabbed my right arm, yanking me to my feet. He held me close to his face, "no more Lauren, this ends now."

I clenched my jaw and then spit in his face. Ethan backhanded me across the face splitting my lip open, as he wiped my spit off, "i am done being nice. You will feel this, I promise." he lifted the knife up and just as he was about to bring it down on me, I heard a loud pop and something hot graze across my right shoulder. Ethan suddenly stopped and looked down at the blood pooling under his shirt. He dropped me as he clutched a hand to his chest, I fell back and hit my head on the floor, making everything hazy. I couldn't focus as I heard another shot smack into Ethan, he stood there dazed and turned to run. He left my sight as I faded out to the sounds of another series of shots, followed by the sounds of sirens.

* * *

The whirring sound felt like a bee was buzzing right next to my ear, pulling me from the dreamless sleep. I opened my eyes and squinted to focus, the whirring was coming from the janitor pushing a floor polisher around outside of my hospital room. I looked around me and groaned when I realized I was once again in the hospital. I couldn't feel anything. I dropped my gaze to my right arm and saw it was wrapped up from fingers to my shoulder, I saw an IV line poking out of my left arm linking up to a morphine drip, that's why I couldn't feel anything. My room was dark with nothing but the overhead light illuminating all of the machines around me. The wall clock stared down, telling me it was four in the morning. The clock and I stared at each other as I tried to push through the morphine haze and remember why I was here. I fumbled until I mashed the call button, a portly nurse I vaguely recognized rushed into my room, "Ms. Lewis, is there anything you need?"

I fought through my cotton mouth, "my cell phone, I want it."

The nurse smiled tightly, "i cant let you have a phone in the ICU." before I could push out profanities at her, Sarah appeared from behind the nurse, she whispered something to the nurse who nodded and left.

Sarah stood in front of me, smiling lightly. I looked at her face and noticed her black eye and the healing cut at the top of her forehead. I rubbed at my eyes, "did you shoot me?"

Sarah looked down and blushed, "you moved to the right just as I pulled the trigger, I grazed your shoulder." she moved to stand next to me, looking at my bandaged arm. I fidgeted to sit up, "you were knocked out and tied up..."

She nodded, "and he took my gun, but your father taught me to always carry a back up after that day with the Russians. Ankle holster." Sarah took a breath and folded her arms, "while Ethan was occupied with his little game, I came too. Slid out of the rope and shot him, before he could...kill you."

I glanced at her wrists and saw the rope burn that was still raw and healing. "is he dead?"

Sarah pursed her lips, "he ran from me after the first two shots hit home, I followed the blood trail to the edge of the docks. I didn't find the body right away, but I just got word the harbor patrol pulled a body with two gunshots to the chest this morning. I am waiting for final identification."

I let out a sigh, I leaned back in the pillow, my stomach dropping at what I was going to ask next, "Bo?"

Sarah looked down at me, "Detective Dennis? She...we..." she paused searching for the words. I quickly held up a hand to stop her. I cut her off, I didn't want to hear it, I knew what I saw and that was more than enough.

"no, I don't want to know...just leave it."

"why don't you want to know?" her tone was full of confusion.

"i was there, there is nothing more I want to know." before Sarah could say anything I hit the morphine drip button and hit it as much as I could. I went hazy in a few seconds and passed out.

Four days later I was released, Alex had come by once when I was passed out, he was tied up with the body and getting all of the crimes linked to Ethan. There was a DNA test pending on the body that was pulled out of the river, the body was unrecognizable from decay and being in the water for a few days. Sarah would show up and try to talk about Bo, but I was so angry and miserable I would cut her off and tell her to never speak of it to me. I didn't want to hear what I already knew. She would look at me confused and I eventually pissed her off so much she gave up trying to talk to me.

I was angry and jaded the entire time I was in the hospital, I was cranky and rude to whoever was around me, eventually I had fewer and fewer visitors, no one would tell me anything voluntarily, I didn't care. I didn't want to hear any sympathy bullshit, or condolences. I knew she was dead. I didn't want to be treated like a grieving fucking widow. I told Alex to fuck off more than once and constantly resisted the urge to throw my jello at the therapist who worked on my shoulder, she would give me constant doses of positivity. She finally gave up when I told her to shove her hallmark phrases up her ass and focus on getting my shoulder to the point where I could wipe my own ass. the doctor diagnosed me with post traumatic stress, my response to him was "no shit Sherlock…" he then prescribed me a mood enhancer and sent me on my way. The only thing that kept me sane was the St. Michaels medal my mother gave on this last trip in the hospital, she told me it was obvious I needed the extra eyes watching over me. I wore it to keep because I was beginning to think she was right and I needed something to focus on other than my misery.

My mother took me home since she was the only one who could and wouldn't put up with my bullshit.

In the car to my house she started to tell me, "I understand what you have been through, but its time to shut down the pity party, Lauren. you are pushing away everyone you care for and who also care for you."

"I don't care, mom. it doesn't fucking matter, I just want to be left alone. How can you understand? You didn't see what I saw….her lying there." I dropped it as tears fell.

My mother stopped the car, looked at me, "watch your fucking mouth around me. i do understand. You are my daughter and I almost had to plan a funeral twice now. So don't you tell me what I do and do not understand. As for this." she poked me hard in the chest over my heart, "leave some room in there for her, regardless of what you saw she needs to be in here…."

I looked at my mother as if she was crazy. "Why? What's the point?" I didn't understand my mother, Bo was gone. Why was she telling me to hold on to another loved one I lost?

My mother sighed hard and turned back to the windshield, "when you are done being the ice queen you will figure it out, ask and you shall receive." She threw the car into gear and we drove the rest of the way home in silence.

When we got home my mother helped me to get settled in, she had cleaned my house for me, filled my fridge up, and made my bed. She stood over me watching as I climbed into bed. Her face had softened from our confrontation in the car, she looked as if she had something to tell me but didn't know how to say it.

"thanks mom, I'm sorry for being awful in the car, I'm very tired."i reached for her hand and squeezed it.

"I know, Lauren, I hate your job as much as you do. but I love you." she reached over and kissed me on the forehead and tucked me in. "I am leaving, call if you need me for anything, your father too….don't worry about safety Eddie has a couple of officers sitting outside the house in unmarked cars, just in case, they are still waiting for the final DNA results." I saw her eyes water, she squeezed my arm and quickly left my room. I heard her leave and lock my front door. I reached under my bed and found that my extra gun been put back in its holster, I smiled, I would have to thank Alex later.

I sat in bed staring at the wall, I was restless and went to my computer. I checked my email, I had tons of well wishes from friends and co-workers. One from Captain Jameson informing me that I was on a two month hiatus from work, seems word of my horrible behavior got back to him and he delicately suggested that the time off would allow me to heal completely. He added a side note, "Take the time Lauren. it's a paid vacation. Do me a favor take it and stay the hell away from the office for awhile before I have more transfers to sign off on."

I cleaned out all of my inbox, then as I scrolled there was an email from Bo, dated the night she left my house. It was just a random forwarded joke, but I opened it and read it. I finished it, stared at her name and broke down. crying uncontrollably, asking why her? Then I got angry at myself for not saving her, not having the strength to fight him harder, and for letting her leave the house when I knew he would be on her. It was all my fault she was dead, Ethan only took her because I loved her. If I had kept her at a distance she would be going to work right now with her new partner and solving small time crimes. It was also my fault that she died in that warehouse.

I laid my head down on my desk sobbing, that's when I felt my St. Michaels medal swing from around my neck. I stared at it for a second, then sat up in my chair grabbing it in my left hand. I looked at it as it sat in my palm, then I ripped it off my neck and threw it across my office shouting, "useless piece of shit."

i was angry and stood up grabbing things off my desk, throwing them at the wall, then pulling books of the shelves throwing them as hard as I could. I destroyed my office, smashing anything I could. After a moment when I ran out of things to throw I collapsed in the middle of the room on a pile of books. I looked up at the back of my office door that I had tried to slam off its hinges in my uncharacteristic new found anger, I saw Bo's jacket hanging where she left it the night we spent together. I stood up in the mess around me, and slowly pulled it from the door. It still smelled like her, I clutched it to my chest and cried harder.

I stared at the jacket and my anger fell away, I could only think and wonder what I had done to lose Bo like I did. I let out a shaky sigh and crawled into bed with her jacket still in my arms. I fell into a deep depression, staying in bed for almost two weeks. I did nothing more than sleep and pick at my bandages. I stopped answering phone calls, the front door when the door bell rang and let my mail pile up. Finally on the third day of the second week my mother stood over me as I laid in bed. "you are better than this, Lauren. Its time to get up and live."

I just shrugged at her and sat in bed, she went around trying to pick up the messes I had made, she opened my office door, took one look made a small noise and closed the door. She looked at me, "that one is all you, you don't pay me enough to clean that big of a mess." She moved through my room talking to me about random things.

I didn't listen to hard, she finally gave up and looked at me. "the boys downstairs tell me that you haven't gone outside since I brought you home. For Christ's sake Lauren, wallowing in whatever you are wallowing in isn't going to make you heal faster. I repeat you are better than this, get up. Move forward." She stared at me hard. I felt embarrassed by it. she saw that I was embarrassed and shrugged, "clean the mess up and start to heal." she turned to walk out of my room, she stopped, "oh call Alex he has something he needs to talk to you about, try not to be rude when you talk to him, he is a good guy, doesn't deserve the ice queen rage. Love you!" she rushed out of the room and out of the house.

I knew she was right but I didn't care, I reached over and grabbed my phone and called Alex out of guilt from what my mother said. I got his voicemail. "it's Lauren, mom said you had something to tell me. Call me back, please. My phone is back on."

I was about to hang up when my heart said ask where she is. I suddenly needed to know where Bo was so I could say goodbye. I don't know why the urge struck me at that moment, maybe it was my mothers words or the fact that every morning I would wake up looking at the last piece I had of her laying on the edge of my bed. I needed to see her one last time. I spoke without thinking, "and can you tell me….where…where Bo is buried? I want too, need to say goodbye." Then I hung up before I started crying on the message.

I put the phone back on my side table and took a deep breath. I got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. When I got out I looked at myself in the mirror as I had many times before. My first gunshot had almost healed completely it was now just a pink circle, the scars under my old one were almost invisible from healing completely.

My arm was still had to be wrapped up but it was healing, I could almost wipe my ass with my right hand. I dressed for the first time since I got home and attempted to clean the office I had destroyed, I opened the door stared at the mess and closed the door again, not today. I decided to walk outside to the lake, my mother was right I needed to get up, before I left I grabbed my phone and my gun, I was forever paranoid now.

I walked outside and immediately spotted my two watchmen sitting on opposite sides of the street, I nodded to both of them and walked down to the beach. The beach was empty since it was the middle of the day in the middle of the week. I walked a bit staring at the lake thinking about everything I didn't

want too, I wanted someone to stop and sit me down, tell me everything about me so I would have an idea of why it felt like I could never save the women I loved. I sat down on the sand and watched seagulls chase waves when my phone rang, it was Alex.

"hey Alex."i spoke softly, I felt guilty for ignoring him like I had for the last few weeks and being horrible to him when he tried to be there for me.

"its about damn time that you call me, Lauren. two weeks and I haven't heard shit from you?"

"I know," I didn't really want to talk to him I just wanted to hear what he had to say and find out where Bo was, "you get my message?"

"not yet. I saw you called and called back." Alex took a breath, I could tell he was relieved that I finally called him.

I stumbled, I didn't know how to ask him now, "ok, my mom says you wanted to talk to me? And I want to ask you…something…."

"Yea, I wanted to let you know we closed the case on Evan and the Latin murders. That heavily decomposed body the harbor patrol pulled from the water four miles away from the warehouse, they checked dental records and it matches. Ethan is dead, he is lying in the morgue with two gun shots in his chest. It's over Lauren."

I let out a sigh of relief, "finally."

"I promise its him, Agent Cameron will be out in a few days to double check the records. I will forward you the autopsy report and the dental records so you can see for yourself. He won't bother you again Lauren."

I went blank, it was over. I could finally stop looking over my shoulder and stop sleeping with my gun in my hand. The bastard was dead. I didn't know what to say, "Thanks Alex, I should go."

"Wait...what did you want to ask me?"

"Nothing never mind." I hung up on him and stared out into the lake. My life was mine again, but I had nowhere to go. The woman I fell in love with was dead, the man who took her from me was dead, I had nothing to push me. I was lost but free. I sat on the beach for a little longer, Alex called me two more times but I didn't answer. I figured he listened to my message and was going to tell me what I asked for, he could leave a message. I didn't want to talk anymore today.

I got up from the sand, dusted myself off and walked back home. I waved at my watchmen and saw the relief in their face, they must have gotten the same call I did. They no longer had a reason to eat in their cars, they could go home to their families and eat like civilized humans. I checked my phone and saw that Alex left a message, I hit my voicemail button as I walked into my front door. i kicked aside the mail so I could close the door and walked upstairs to get back into bed. I listened to his message as I climbed the staircase.

"Hey Lauren, just listened to your message, I am so totally confused…why are you asking where she is buried?"

I thought to myself it isn't that hard to figure out Alex. I shook my head and got to the top of my stairs and noticed that my bedroom door was closed. I didn't remember closing it, I stared at it for a second then opened it as I heard Alex say, "she isn't buried anywhere, they just released Bo from the hospital at northwestern this morning. Shit, those must be some good drugs you are on." As I heard his words I pushed my door open, looked up and dropped the phone.

A/N:

**MORE TO COME ! and no worries...that's no stranger will have one more chapter and then I will be starting the third book...of bo and los daughter as she grows up and they have adventures. so please be patient as I get that sorted. But huge chapter for you guys here! and more mystery and twists to come now that Sarah has a past to be explored.**


	12. Chapter 12

Bo was sitting on the edge of my bed. She smiled at me as I stood in the doorway, I stared at her for a minute and finally said, "what are you doing here."

She was still smiling, " I forgot my jacket." Bo held up her jacket that had been on my office door.

"you're." I paused, I felt like I was staring at a ghost, a very beautiful ghost that I wanted to hold in my arms. Bo interrupted me, "i am right here Lauren."

I rubbed my eyes with my hands, and kept them closed. I was confused, I had to be hallucinating from the pain pills, I didn't trust myself, "no."

She didn't answer me. I just felt her wrap her arms around me and hold me. "yes, Lauren, look at me, I am very real." I wouldn't look at her. I felt her hands come up to my face and hold it, "look at me…"

I swallowed hard and opened my eyes, she there. I was staring right into her chocolate brown eyes. Bo smiled as I looked into them. "I'm right here, Lauren. Holding you."

My heart was beating hard, I couldn't breathe, "you, I watched as you..." Bo's smile faded and she looked away, "i did, sort of. I blacked out from the shock of losing so much blood. But the paramedics told me I had only stopped breathing for less than a minute before Sarah did CPR on me. I don't know what happened after I closed my eyes, I just remember seeing you sit in that chair."

I choked back a sob, and felt the tears run down my face. I choked out, "its my fault, I am sorry. I should have made you stay with me, I should have forced my hands out of the handcuffs faster, to save you."

Bo reached up and wiped away my tears, "its not your fault, I should have stayed with you like my heart begged me too." Bo kissed my cheek, "its over now, and I am here." I was now crying hard and all I could do was grab her and pull her close to me, as I wrapped my arms around her, I felt Bo squeeze me into her. I held her for a moment then leaned back so I could look at her again to make sure I wasn't seeing anything. She smiled at me through the tears that slipped down her cheeks. I smiled back and said, "Why did no one told me you were in the hospital?"

Bo sighed, "i had to stay for awhile after all the blood I lost, and Sarah wanted to keep me in the protective custody of the hospital until the final word came down Ethan was dead." she looked down at me, "they just released me this morning." She smiled at me, "that and I heard you have been a little more sassier than usual."

I laughed lightly, "i have been horrible, I can admit to that." I ran my hands over her arms, trying to convince the last pieces of my mind that Bo was actually sitting with me, alive. "i love you Bo, I know its only been a couple of months, and I am not usually one to rush into things" I looked into her eyes, "there is nothing in this world that will stop me from loving you."

Bo began to cry and put her head against me, holding onto me. "Lauren, I guess that's you finally letting go of your past and believing in love at first sight." Bo met my eyes, "i love you too, just as much and maybe a little bit more." she smiled wide and closed her eyes as she held me closer. I never wanted to let her go.

The next morning I woke up with Bo next to me, sleeping on my chest. I brushed my fingers down her face to make sure it wasn't a dream. She was real and she was there with me. I laid there for a bit watching her sleep before I decided to get up and clean up the mess that was my house. I went downstairs and grabbed the stack of mail that I had been ignoring since I left the hospital. I sat in the kitchen next to the garbage can and sorted out the junk mail from the bills. Near the bottom of the stack was a large envelope that had the return address of somewhere in D.C. I opened it and as I unfolded the letter head the giant blue logo at the top made me stop. It was from the FBI. I continued reading.

Detective Lieutenant Lauren Lewis,

I am sorry that I have not been able to see you since your release from the hospital, but I had to go back to Washington. I will be back in Chicago in a week and would like to go over the case work you and your two partners did on Ethan Carpenter and the Latin murders. I feel, like I mentioned to you, that Ethan is responsible for multiple murders throughout the country and possibly in Canada.

I know things are still fresh and healing, but I would appreciate it if we could sit down and go over the files. I checked over the dental records Detective Cambridge sent over to me, it looks like Ethan has finally met his end. Since you were the closest link to Ethan and understand his motives, I think you are the best resource to help me and the FBI put more of the puzzle pieces together and maybe close some more cases.

I will be in touch as soon as I arrive back in Chicago. I also apologize for the strange formality of this letter, but it is a part of the process of asking for your assistance.

I hope you are doing well,

SAC Sara Cameron.

BSU Quantico, Virginia

I held the letter in my hand, I closed my eyes. I had been terrible to Sarah when I last saw her, she had been there to help me save Bo and was the one person able to kill Ethan. At the same time, the last thing I wanted to do was sit in an office surrounded by stuck up federal agents and go through piles and piles of Ethan's madness.

I took the letter and stuck to my fridge with a magnet. I finished sorting through the rest of my mail and cleaned up the rest of the downstairs. I took a deep breath as I looked around my living room, I smiled as I saw pictures of Elle and I. I took most of them down and moved them to a different room, I left one up in the living room. I didn't have to completely ignore my past, just look back on it when I needed reminding why I had to keep my hear open. My living room like the rest of my house now felt different, it felt new and ready. Even as I looked out the window onto the lake it seemed to sparkle in a different way. I smiled at it and went back upstairs to Bo.

When I got to the top of the stairs Bo wasn't in bed, she was in my office rummaging through the mess I had caused a few days ago. Bo was trying to clean up and put the piles of books I had thrown on the floor back up on the shelves in alphabetical order. I stood there smiling watching her as she grabbed book after book and put them on the shelf, she looked like a basketball player standing in a pair of my old athletic shorts and a marathon t-shirt I got for almost finishing the Chicago marathon four years ago, the bandages on her arms looked like the sweat bands tennis players from the seventies wore.

Even though as I looked at them I remembered what they hid from me. My smile faded, I walked in the office and grabbed a three psychology books and handed them to her, "make sure that they also go in descending order by size or you will have to start over."

I startled her, "Jesus Lauren! Don't sneak up on me like that, I could shoot you." she grabbed the books out of my hand, "and if you want them in order by size I suggest you do it yourself, this is one big mess. what the hell happened in here?"

I looked around, she was right, I had done quiet the demolition job. "i fell."

She gave me a yea right look, and went back to her cleaning. I reached over and put my hand on her arm, "you don't have to do this. I can clean it up later. You need to rest, we need to rest."

"I can't, if I sit still too long I think too much. I have to keep myself busy."

I smiled at her and said, "There are other things to do that will keep you busy."

She smiled back and put the book in her hand down on my desk as I pulled her close to kiss her.

**A/N: I know...super short chapter, but its all I have time for and I didn't want to leave you all hanging. there is more to come...as made obvious by the letter. I do plan on fleshing this out with twisty turns in a day or so. but I have to hit the hay so I can get some more much needed sleep! stay tuned as things begin to get shifty...there might be a steamy scene in the next one...**


	13. Chapter 13

**Fixed a couple mistakes, I sometimes can't write while watching a tv...other characters slip in. I fixed the mistakes...had alias on...oops!**

While Bo was in the shower I decided to tell her about the letter from the FBI. "Bo, I got something rather odd in the mail today."

I heard her shut off the water, and quickly poke her head outside of my bland shower curtain, "what was it? An IKEA catalog?" She threw me a easy smile. I tossed a towel at her, "no, it was a letter from the behavioral science unit for the FBI."

Bo stepped out of the shower and covered herself in a towel then came up behind me wrapping her arms around my waist while I brushed my teeth, kissing my shoulder "hmmm….what do they want with you?"

I spit, rinsed off my toothbrush and put it in the holder than held her arms against me as she put her chin on my shoulder. "they want myhelp with some cold cases that they think Ethan might have had a hand in."

"you do know him better than anyone, Do you think you want to try and help them?"

I leaned back in Bo's arms, not caring that I my shirt was starting to get wet from her hair and body.

"I don't know yet. I am not sure I want to look into that darkness again after I barely made it out, we barely made it out. "I reached down and laced my fingers into hers and looked down at the cuts that were still healing on her wrists. I sighed hard, clenching my jaw as I had immediate flashes of that night. I held her arms closer to me, "i don't know what I want to do next, the dust has yet to settle completely."

I reached with a finger and traced around the edge of her right wrist, Bo gently pulled her arms back, not before grazing my breasts, she moved to the counter and pulled out the first aid kit I had under the counter, she smiled, "help me wrap them up? Since you might be the doctor of the house."

I smiled as I walked to her, "i have not made that decision yet either." I held Bo's wrists as I wrapped them up, she flinched a couple of time. "I'm sorry, it still hurts?"

She just shook her head yes, she was suddenly distant. I stared at her in the mirror as she dressed her arms, "are you okay?" Bo sighed, leaned against the sink closing her eyes, "I think so, i don't know, every time I close my eyes, he is there."

I reached over and hugged her, "I'm sorry, he can't hurt you now. you are safe." It felt awkward to say it when I had the same fear every time I closed my eyes. I always saw Ethan standing over me, the knife catching the light and shining at me as its own entity.

"I only feel safe with you, Lauren. I know that's cheesy to say, but its true." she looked up at me with teary eyes. I bent down and kissed her on the forehead and said, "I will always be here." I felt helpless; I didn't know what to say or how to comfort her. We both had been through a lot in the short time we knew each other, strengthening our instant bond. I knew it was not a bond based out of trauma, it was something that was existing from the moment we met to this point.

I left Bo in the bathroom to finish getting dressed and went downstairs to make some coffee. When I went to grab the cream out of the fridge I saw the FBI letter, I sighed at it, I decided I would just call the Chicago office, maybe I could help someone since I felt so helpless with Bo and myself, dealing with everything we had been through. Maybe therapy would be the next step, I couldn't expect either of us to wake up one day and be perfectly fine.

I grabbed the letter off the fridge and went back upstairs to my half organized office. Bo was still in the bathroom getting dressed, I slid into my office and closed the door. I sat down at my desk and called the number that Sarah had written down as her Chicago office number.

As the phone rang I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, Alex had been right, no matter what happens I can never stay away from the job for too long, even though I had filled out the retirement request years ago, it still sat in the bottom drawer of my desk waiting for me to send it to Captain Jameson for one simple signature.

The phone rang twice before a high pitched voice answered, "SAC Cameron's office, how may I direct your call?"

"this is Detective Lieutenant Lauren Lewis, from the Chicago police department, Homicide division. I believe Agent Cameron is expecting a call from me? She gave me this office as her temporary number."

"please hold."

I doodled on my desk while the elevator music drifted through the phone, after I started singing along with the instrumental version of the magnum P.I. theme the phone clicked.

"hello Lauren, how have you been?" Sarah's soft voice came through the phone.

"i am better than the last time you saw me." I paused as I leaned my head on my hand, "i should apologize for my behavior. I had thought that Bo...well that my old partner had died."

I could hear the smile in Sarah's calming voice, "i accept your apology, but I should apologize to you, it was my decision to keep it from you. I knew that Ethan would use her as leverage." I heard some papers shuffle in the background, "i am taking this call as a sign you received that letter?"

"sorry, I just found the letter yesterday. I have been distracted." I looked up to see Bo walk into my office in a t-shirt and tiny underwear, smiling over her shoulder as she continued to put books back in their place.

"that is understandable, but I am hoping this phone call is to let me know that you will help out with the cold and open cases we have?" Sarah was hopeful, it echoed in her voice.

I paused on the phone, and thought a moment. Why was I really making this call? I had just begun to close the chapter on Ethan and all the hell he brought with him and now I looking to dive back into it all, digging deeper into the mind of a monster. My silence must have been longer than polite pauses dictated, I heard Sarah say my name, "Lauren, I can understand if you don't want too, I know what you have been through. all I can say is that you are the closest link we have to Ethan. You have the knowledge that could be necessary to solve a handful of cases that have had evaded the BSU and me for years. All I am asking is maybe for you and even detective Dennis to come and sift through some of the case files and see what you can see. I know its been a short time, but the fresher a case is in someones head the faster clues come together. Maybe get a few other families some closure." Sarah paused, waiting for an answer.

I clenched my jaw when she said the last part, I had to help, she asked for it and I hated when I could never bring peace to the families I had to help. I took a deep breath and said, "what do we have to do? And where do we need to be?" Bo looked over at me, with a confused look on her face.

Sarah's tone picked up, "We can start here or if you want to wait a week, we can go to down to D.C., on us of course, meet in my office where its a little more private and away from the prying eyes of the Chicago off. I can do a quick briefing with you and Detective Dennis, and then get you started on the cases. I will send a courier over with a detail package and all of your travel arrangements in the next day or so. That is if you are willing to go to D.C. Lauren?"

I smiled at Bo as she sat down on the edge of the desk, her shirt riding up to expose more of her thigh. "yes, I can do that. it would be a nice change of scenery. How long of a stay are we looking at?"

"that is completely up to you and how much time you want to dedicate to this. You can leave at any point and end your agreement with me, its not a serious contract that will bind you for years." I could sense the humor in her voice.

"alright." I leaned forward onto my desk and rubbed my forehead, my head was already starting to ache, and Bo's naked thigh was not helping me to concentrate.

"do you any more questions Lauren?"

"I don't think so, no." I looked up at Bo and smiled as she looked down at me, curious as to what the conversation I was having was entailing.

"fantastic, the courier will be over by the end of the day or first thing in the morning. thank you again for this. I hope we can make something good out of the mess." Sarah clicked off after we issued our polite goodbyes. Bo scooted off the desk and climbed to straddle me on the chair, "so, who was that?"

I sat and looked at her for a minute, she brought a small smile across my face, I wrapped my arms around her waist, "That was Sarah, I think I will help her with some of the loose ends left by Ethan. She asked you to come along, since you had dealt with him as well."

Bo smiled tightly, "i really dont remember much, but I guess if it helps, I will go with you. I also dont want to let you out of my sight for a little while, every time I do." Bo sighed and leaned her forehead against mine. "But promise me, that if it get to be too much for you and me, I am walking away. With or without you. I love you too much to watch you get sucked back into all of this." Bo looked at me with soft brown eyes.

Hearing her say I love you made my heart pound, I held her hand for a minute, "I promise…."

She smiled and bent forward, kissing me softly on the lips. I gripped Bo's waist harder in my hands, we had made love a few times after I scared her from cleaning up my office, but it was rushed and full of need to feel that we were real to each other. I kissed her harder, Bo pressed into me harder, moaning as my fingers found the edge of her shirt, my hand flat against her back, bringing goosebumps to her skin instantly. Bo's hands came up to the sides of my face as she pulled me closer to her, biting my bottom lip harder. I could feel her desire grow as she sat on my lap. I moved my hand around to the front of her, my fingers running across the soft skin of her stomach. I moved my kisses to her chin and then to her shoulder, Bo buried her head into my hair as I pushed my hand under the small cotton panties, she whispered against my ear, "please..." I bit her shoulder lightly as I dipped two fingers in, she immediately arched up and started a slow rhythm. I kissed her neck, right on the pulse that I could feel pick up with every moment of my fingers. Bo began to move faster and faster, she leaned back and braced herself on the edge of the desk as I could see she was close to release. She met my eyes as she moved faster and faster before moaning louder than I ever heard her before, arching her head back as she rode out the waves of ecstasy that crashed over her entire body. I couldnt resist the sight, I pulled my hand out and stood up, pressing hard against bo as she recovered. I covered her mouth with mine, in a intense sense of need I had never experienced before. I caught her off guard but it didn't take her long to respond, she grabbed the back of my head, holding me against her mouth as our teeth bumped and bit at puffy lips. I grabbed Bo's hand and pulled it to where I needed her most. Bo took over as she shoved past the pants I was wearing and did not hesitate in filling the request I so desperately needed her to. I had to squeeze my eyes shut to keep from losing it as soon as I felt her inside. Bo smiled against my mouth, "god, Lauren, I never knew the ice queen had it in her." she pushed up with her fingers before I could respond. I broke away from her mouth and buried myself in her soft hair, she leaned forward and placed hot kisses on the spot between my neck and shoulder. I didn't resist as she was taking her time. My fingers found that she was still ready for me, I slipped back into a very sensitive area, smiling as I heard Bo cry out. Our hands moved in unison until both of us collapsed onto the desk, skin tingling from the electricity we just shared. Bo wrapped strong arms around me as I laid on top of her, catching my breath. I whispered as I kissed her flushed cheek, "i will never look at this desk the same." Bo laughed and blushed even more.

* * *

Bo and I flew into D.C. Two days after I made the call to Sarah. A government car driven by an agency intern picked us up at the airport and drove us straight to the FBI building, the young intern dropped us off and said that he would check us into the hotel and secure our bags. He handed me a envelope and told me that Sarah was waiting for us, she was anxious to get started and wanted to speak with us as soon as we had landed.

When the intern dropped Bo and i off, we were greeted by a lovely middle aged woman. She was wearing a well fitted business suit, she had a pleasant look with brown eyes, that when she smiled you couldn't help but smile back. She walked with a purpose and when she greeted me she had a firm handshake that told me that she meant business.

"Detective Lieutenant Lewis and Detective Dennis, nice to meet you both. I am Susan Clark, SAC Cameron's administrative clerk. She is tied up in a meeting right now. So I will get you squared away and all of the necessities out of the way to make sure you have complete access to the things you will need."Susan smiled deep at Bo then said, "alright, if you two would like to follow me."

Susan turned and headed inside the building. She took us down to a security room where both Bo and I had our photos and fingerprints taken and logged. We were issued badges and then given a large package highlighting the do's and don't's of the FBI. Susan smiled at the both of us and said, "don't worry about memorizing it all, just government protocol that everyone is issued a copy."

After the security room we were taken through a side entrance and got into an elevator that I felt went up but it actually took us to the lower levels of the building. The doors open and Susan stepped out first, she was walking fast and it was hard for me to keep up with her, I looked at Bo who had been quiet from the moment the intern dropped us off. I tapped her arm and said, "you okay?"

She looked a little dazed and scared, "yea, it's just, very intimidating? I am only a street cop and a rookie detective, I am not used to this level of law enforcement."

I smiled at her and said, "eh its nothing, remember the first day with me? I think that was worse."

Bo blushed and smiled, "it was one of the worst first day on the jobs ever, but totally worth it." she winked at me.

I felt myself blush and turned back to Susan who was now a good foot ahead of us, I quick stepped to catch up to her. We went through a maze of hallways and finally Susan stopped at a large wood door. she swiped her badge then inputted a five digit code. I heard a large click before she pushed the door open. She held it as Bo and I stepped inside.

The office was incredibly modern and soothing. Off to the right was a large desk with a computer and phone, I assumed it was Susan's. She closed the door behind us and set down her stack of papers on the desk. she turned to us, "if you will follow me again, I will now take you to SAC Cameron's office. She is on her way down."

Susan made a efficient motion and then turned to walk towards the back of the large room, she turned another corner and opened up a large door that had SAC S. Cameron BSU on it in gold lettering.

She held the door open to the massive office, then pointed to two chairs sitting in front of a stainless steel desk that had multiple monitors on it. the desk was surrounded by large filing cabinets that had code locks on them, similar to the ones I had once seen in a secret spy movie. It pulled a smile from me as I imagined the James Bond like secrets they held.

Susan stood off to the side, her hands together in front of her, "Please have a seat, it will only be a minute. Would either of you like some coffee? Water?"

I continued to look around the office ignoring the beverage request, Bo spoke up for the both of us. "no, thank you. I think we are fine."

Susan smiled at us and stepped out of the office. Bo sat down in one of the chairs while I walked around the office marveling at the what seemed to be endless sea of filing cabinets. My imagination was replaced with the reality of what those filing cabinets held, it frightened me since I had a similar set back in my corner office. Drawers upon drawers filled with monsters was the only way I could explain it. I leaned over to examine the code lock closer, it intrigued me even more to know what was in there.

"the locks are all temperature sensitive, so don't touch it." Sarah's voice was a soothing one but it also was authoritative. I straightened up immediately and turned to see Sarah smiling at me from the doorway. The tall blonde moved from the doorway, briefcase in hand, smiled easily at me then walked towards me. she extended a smile to Bo, "Detective Dennis, nice to see you again."

As Sarah moved to sit behind her desk, I took a longer look at her. She was dressed in the standard federal government dark grey pantsuit, and when she looked at me I could see in her eyes that while she was in the office, she demanded respect from anyone she came into contact with. "Detective Dennis, I am glad that you also came, I need all the help I can get."Bo smiled at her, "not a problem, whatever I can do to help." Sara placed her briefcase on the floor and shuffled some papers around. I sat next to Bo and said, "sorry about being nosy."

Cameron didn't look up, "curiosity killed the cat." she then looked up from her papers, "I wanted to brief you as soon as you landed, we have wasted too much time with these cases. I would like you to brief me on your experiences, past and present with Ethan Carpenter and start the ball rolling."

Bo spoke first, "What can we do to get started? I would also like to get the ball rolling, just for the purpose to put all of this behind us." Sarah smiled, "Thank you Detective Dennis, what I need from the both of you is individual statements of what exactly happened to you. I know its strange, but I want to be able to gather clean statements from the both of you. Emotions can corrupt memories." Sarah looked between Bo and I. "Detective Dennis, I will need as much detail as you can provide for the time you were in Ethan's custody." she then turned to me, "as for you lieutenant, I need everything you can tell me about growing up with Ethan and the encounters of recent."

I sighed and nodded, "i think you may know more than I do, but I will try to remember what I can. I have forgotten a lot from my childhood in Detroit."

Sarah stared at me then turned back to Bo "Detective Dennis you will be interviewed by another agent. Do you mind if we start right now?"

Bo looked at me before she nodded, "That's fine with me."

Sarah reached to her phone and pushed a button, "Susan, can you escort Detective Dennis to Interview room five. Call Agent Markus and have him meet you both there. He will be conducting that interview."

Susan confirmed her instructions; Sarah turned back to Bo and said, "You will be working with Agent Steven Markus. He is second lead on this particular project, He will treat you right, just please, tell him everything you know."

Bo shook her head, then looked at me for support. I smiled at her to tell her that it would be alright. Just then Susan walked in and said, "Detective Dennis? Will you follow me please?"

"Of course." Bo got up from her chair and as she walked by I grabbed her hand and squeezed it, whispering, "I am here if you need me." Bo squeezed back and smiled. Then walked towards Susan to follow her out of the office.

As the door closed behind them I spoke, "so, who will be interviewing me?"

"That would be me. Considering the extent of your involvement with Ethan, I cannot trust anyone else to properly gather the information." Sarah smiled, "Call me OCD, but I want to make sure that I am collecting the proper facts."

Even though she was smiling, Sarah's tone was beginning to irritate me; she was treating me clinically, like a case study and not a person. I could see through it, because it was the same thing I learned in my forensic interviewing classes in college. The words she was using were cold and meticulous. "You know you can talk to me like a person and not a lab rat." I said it softly, so as not to rile Sarah up, she had been an ally in this entire debacle, but I didnt like the feeling I was pulling from her in this moment.

"Understandable, but it comes with the territory. I have to maintain a unbiased outlook. You should know that as a homicide detective." Her words were softer

I nodded in agreement, this was not a social call and I had to follow her protocol just as anyone else who do for me. "Can we please get started then? what do you want to know."

Sarah didn't answer me; instead she stood up and went to one of the many filing cabinets that surrounded her. She punched a code into one, opening it up. She flicked through a few files then pulled out a large stack. She slid the drawer closed and walked over to me, Sarah handed the files to me and said, "Read over these again, please."

I picked up the stack and flipped through a few pages, "what are these?"

"These are your juvenile records, your foster home records, as well as your parent's murder case file, the unedited report from the responding officer."

Sarah turned around and went back to her desk and sat down. "Those are the complete and accurate records. I know you read over them in haste as you were trying to put pieces together, but now I need you to read them and see if you can jog a memory." She smiled tightly at me, "I have found that in past cases allowing a person to fill in the gaps of who they are will open up old memories; I need you to remember your time with Ethan when you were teenagers. You might be able to tell me something from the past that carried on through to his adult life. Patterns, I am looking for patterns."

I flipped through my juvenile records; they were the exact same ones that Sarah handed to me. I slid them to the bottom, I didn;t want to review the embarrassment that was my youth; I set them off to the side when Sarah spoke, "you should read those again, refresh your memory."

I looked back up at Sarah and was met with the authoritative blue eyes that drew my attention back to the files in my hands. The true nature of my parent's death was gruesome. I struggled reading through it all, even though I was completely disconnected from that part of my life, it was difficult to read.

My parents were full blown heroin addicts, neither one held a job and spent all of my state aid money on drugs. The night they died it was a result of a drug deal gone bad, real bad. My father had a bad hit and tried attacking the dealer with a syringe, stabbing the dealer in the eye. What happened next made me cringe. The dealer shot my father ten times then emptied a clip into my mother who was lying in the bathroom with a needle still in her arm. The rest of the file went over the ballistics and evidence collected at the scene. The photographs I couldn't bear to look at and I flipped them quickly, all I saw was blood everywhere. The lead homicide detective found me in a crib next to the bathroom sitting quietly, he wrote in the report that I never cried once and never asked for either of my parents. They took me to children's hospital to check for any injuries, not once did I cry. Three days later I was placed with my first foster home.

I closed the file, reached over and set it on Agent Cameron's desk. "Why did you want me to read that?"

"I wanted you to understand that your lack of sensitivity towards cases is not your fault. I wanted you to read that so you know why you latched onto Ethan when you were younger, why it was easy to manipulate you. You lack the sensitivity to cry and express your fear and often other positive emotions. It was that initial shock of watching your parent's murder that recoded your brain."

I was caught off guard by her words, "I don't quite understand, lack of sensitivity towards cases? I am not a cold hearted human."

"That is not what I mean, you have an ability to look past emotion and focus on the facts. You also needed to know why you sometimes feel distant from everyone."

I was getting irritated, Sarah was being psychoanalytic of me. "Please stop. You are trying to analyze me and I don't think that's why I came down here. I am here to help you solve cold cases. So stop trying to pick in my brain, you know by my record that I mastered in psychology, I can see through what you are doing. I know I need therapy, but it wont be here with you."

Sarah showed no reaction, she just stared at me. She picked up my parents file and my juvenile records, went back to the filing cabinet and locked them back up. She sat down again and said, "I apologize if you misinterpret my motives, I am trying to lay down a foundation of your psyche. It is basic psychology, but I need to understand you so I can understand Ethan." Sarah grabbed a notepad, "basic psychology questions is protocol for any BSU interview. It's a requirement to ask questions that will cause a reaction out of a subject, especially in the nature of this case, where more than one party is involved with the murders."

I felt mildly embarrassed at my ice queen persona popping its head out slightly, I sighed, maybe I should start taking the mood enhancers the doctor prescribed, it would keep my mouth shut when it was needed most. Sarah continued, "As for your education background, yes I did already know. I know all about you, including your personal relationship with Detective Dennis."

I flinched when she said that, but held my tongue; instead I changed the subject, "what do you mean the nature of these murders, that there is more than one party involved?"

Cameron smiled lightly, "nice subject change, but forewarning I will be asking about the relationship. Protocol. As for what I said about more than one party involved is that we have a deep suspicion that Ethan may have had a partner or partners that assisted him in some of the murders."

I shook my head, "no…no Ethan was selfish, always was when we were growing up. He only liked having someone around him that he could abuse. That's what he did to me, I was his rag doll he could throw around as he saw fit."

"Fair enough. But have you heard of Stockholm syndrome?"

"Of course that's basic psychology 101." I looked at Sarah hard when I said it.

"Ethan might have been selfish, but at the same time, he also liked having a one person audience. Like you when you were teenagers. He had a constant audience and abused you to stay tuned so to speak."

I leaned forward in the chair and rubbed my temples, all of this psycho babble was driving me nuts, I was worried about Bo now and what they were asking her. I wanted to leave. I looked up at Sarah.

"I think I am done for the day, Where is Detective Dennis?" I wanted to maintain some sort of professionalism in regards to Bo and I until I could figure out how much Sarah knew. She was passed out while in the warehouse and Bo had snuck in and out of the hospital unnoticed.

"She is in good hands. Trust me, no one will hurt her. I know how important she is to you." Sarah's tone returned to the warm soft one she always carried.

"i will wait for her outside, or can I go see her now?" I stood up from the chair and walked towards the door. Sarah stood up quickly and said, "Wait, I will walk you to her."

I paused in mid step. Sarah came up behind me, opened the door and led me out. She took me down a maze of hallways to where Bo was being interviewed. When she walked out of the interview room Bo looked haggard and beaten. She walked right towards me and hugged me hard whispering, "I can't do this."

I whispered back, "Its okay, they are just trying to get information out of you. It was not fun for me either."

I looked up at Sarah who was watching me as I held Bo, "can we leave now."

She shook her head yes and quietly lead us to the basement garage where a car was waiting to take us to the hotel. Before I got in the back with Bo, Sarah put a hand on my arm, "I apologize if I was hard with you earlier, you understand why I have to stay distant when I ask these questions. Will you come back tomorrow?"

I looked into her blue eyes and saw that she was sincere, "I will be back, but keep the psycho babble to a minimum."

She smiled and nodded yes, I got into the back seat with Bo who immediately put her head on my shoulder and sighed. As the car pulled away I asked Bo "What did you tell them?"

"They asked me questions about when Ethan kidnapped me, random weird questions about what he said to me, what exactly he did to me. It was hard Lauren, I broke down."

"I'm sorry." I brushed my hand across her face.

"They asked me about you and about us. I told them the truth, about our relationship."

I closed my eyes; I hated being here more now. I lived a relatively private life and now everything was being pried apart. All because of my past coming back and wanting to kill me, my past was being revealed to me as my future was being placed into the spotlight, All because of some monster with a knife. For the first time in my career I was thankful that Ethan was dead, for selfish reasons.

* * *

When we got back to the hotel Bo crawled into the bed and fell asleep right away. I walked around the room staring out into the capital city illuminated by the city lights. I decided to call my father and try to find out some information about Agent Cameron, so that I would have some sort of upper hand on her in our next session.

I went back inside the room and stood watching Bo sleep. For a moment I wondered if our life would ever be normal. I wanted to wake her up and run to the airport and grab a flight to anywhere nowhere, live a quiet life where neither of us would have to look back into the darkness or the monsters that found shelter in it.

I sighed and told myself to stop dreaming the impossible, climbed into the bed next to Bo and wrapped my arms around her, promising myself I would never let go.

The next morning Bo and I were separated once again, she was taken back to the interview room to work with Agent Markus and I was left in Cameron's office, alone. With each minute that passed sitting there waiting for her to get out of another meeting I was beginning to get frustrated with all of this, I felt like I was a suspect, that I was being interrogated. I leaned back in the chair and put my feet up on the desk and closed my eyes.

I must have drifted off, I woke up to Cameron tapping my feet like I had done to Alex everyday of my life in my office, to politely ask me to get my feet off her desk and walking to sit behind it.

I straightened up in my chair, "you are late."

Sarah smiled nodded, "i am, I had a last minute meeting that ran longer than I hoped." Sarah pulled out a file and set it in front of her. "I should get started. What exactly is the nature of your relationship with Detective Dennis? "

Her question hit a nerve, "why does it matter? I am not here to be interrogated or to reveal aspects of my life to you. I am here to go over case files and read over evidence."

Sarah kept her polite smile, "that is true, in a way Detective Dennis is evidence. I do ask these questions for a reason. I need to know why Ethan chose her as a target and if it goes beyond random selection."

I was angry at Sarah for referring to Bo as a piece of evidence, "he chose her as target because she is close to me, we were partners and coworkers, and to an extent friends. He wanted any advantage to get to me, she was one. She is not evidence, next question."

Sarah ignored me, "what exactly is the nature of your relationship with Detective Dennis?"

I stared at Sarah hard, her eyes did not waver nor did she flinch, I knew that I would not be able to get past her or get under her skin, no matter how much I deflected or attempted to reroute her psychology with my own, I admired it for a second, she was as stubborn as me, maybe worse.

I bit my bottom lip and said, "Detective Dennis and I are close friends."

"how close and do you trust her?"

"we are very close, and I am still lost to why you are asking me these questions?"

Sarah repeated herself like she had before, I laughed and ignored her question. Then I said something I shouldn't have, "no wonder you didn't make it as a undercover agent, you lack heart and tact. Good thing my dad had your back." I cringed as it came out, but she had pushed my buttons like Bo had done in the first few days of her FTO.

Sarah flinched for a second then quickly recovered. She took a deep breath and I could tell she was trying to calm herself. I had brought up something that was obviously a little too personal. I smiled back at her. she flipped through the notes she had on her desk then spoke without looking at me, "I believe that Ethan had a accomplice. The characteristics of the latin murders suggest it. all the evidence does not match up. I am asking you these questions because I need to explore all possibilities. It seems to me that there was someone on the inside helping him."

I cut her off, "are suggesting that it was I, who was helping him?!"

"not exactly. But he managed to get to you way too easily, and looking at the reports, had been following you for some time." Sarah flipped through more file pages, the sound was irritating me, getting to me.

"not exactly! That sounds like a god damn accusation to me? why the fuck would I put myself through that? did you read in your little file what he did to me? the damage he has done to me, physical and emotional? Fuck!" I threw my hand up at her, I was fighting the urge to stand up and walk out the door and fly back to Chicago.

Sarah sat and waited for my outburst to pass, she had a calming look in her eyes as she watch me turn red face. "I am not suggesting nor implying that it was you. all I am saying is that someone close to you might have been helping him collect the necessary information to get to you. whether it is a coworker, a family member, or even a significant other. Something isn't right."

I stared at her, it fell into place. "wait, are you asking me the questions about Bo because you might suspect her of possibly helping the man that tried to kill me? and almost killed her? you are out of your mind Sarah."

I was infuriated and leaning forward in my chair partially screaming at her. Sarah sat calmly and let me finish. "you want to know the true nature of our relationship?! Fine, Bo and I are lovers, I love her more than an insensitive agent like you could ever understand. she saved me and I know deep in my heart that she would never ever betray me in the ways your are suggesting."

Sarah had no reaction, she waited for me to blow out the rest of my rage and waited a second as I slumped back into the chair. She nodded her head towards me as if to ask if I was done, I rolled my eyes at her. then closed the file in front of her and said, "I think we are done for the day. I will escort you to the waiting room. Detective Dennis has a few more hours to go, but there are some lovely magazines in the waiting room that you can read while you wait."

She had an edge to her tone that I could tell I had overstepped more than one line in saying what I had. I didn't care, I had decided to leave for Chicago as soon as I left the building. I sat staring at Sarah wondering what my father saw in her to save her ass so many years ago. Sarah grabbed the files on her desk and placed them in her briefcase. Then she opened up a side drawer and pulled out something that glinted in the fluorescent light. She placed the simple band onto her left ring finger and looked at me. she could see the question across my face.

"I don't wear it during interviews, it reveals too much about me, distracting from the purpose of the interview."

She was using her psychiatry on me again, I decided to combat it with my own, "You told me that Ethan killed your wife, why do you continue to wear a wedding ring? You poke at my mind for trying to keep my private life close to my heart, but here you flaunt yours, asking for questions to be asked, a story begged to be told."

Sarah tilted her head and was silent for a second, "he did kill my wife, and this is all I have left. A memory to remind me why I am putting someone like you through this, so I can make sure no one else loses what I have and what you almost did."

I sighed hard and stared at the floor, Sarah was speaking as Sarah, not the cold FBI agent seeking answers, I took a breath, "i will not be coming back tomorrow, I don't want to continue with this project of yours. I apologize, but Ethan is dead and I want to be done with this, retire and find my life with someone I love."

Sarah shook her head yes, "I know. But I think your emotional outbursts have given me enough to go on along with what Detective Dennis has provided us with."

"my emotional outbursts? So you are basically telling me that I am a suspect?"

"no. your emotional outbursts have told me that you lack the weak mind that you had when you were a teenager. There is no way that Ethan could manipulate you now. You are too passionate about being alone." Sarah tried to smile to make her words hit softer. She was picking my brain apart, trying to create open dialogue where as I continued to bicker with her I would reveal my secrets to her, giving her more than I really wanted. i would not feed into it.

I stood up from the chair, "can I leave now?"i was frustrated with this turn of character in Sarah, she was someone that I thought I could trust, but in reality she was someone who was just using me and Bo to get where she needed in her cases.

"yes. Lets." Sarah stood up from her desk and walked towards me. she escorted me out of her office and to the elevator. As we stood in silence for the ride down I would catch myself looking at her ring finger. I was intrigued now, why she held onto a wedding ring when her wife was murdered, it was a horrible constant reminder. It was one of the reasons why I never wore the rings I found from Elle. It would remind me everyday of what I had lost. I wanted to poke and prod at her like she had me, but instead I would just stare at her reflection in the elevator doors and wonder what about her made my father save her.

The doors opened up and Sarah walked me to the waiting room, which was a very drab room with a couch and a few chairs and a television looping the Bloomberg report. Sarah turned to me and extended her hand, "well it was nice to work with you Lieutenant Lewis, I am sorry it wasn't longer and that we didn't make it very far. I know that you are a brilliant detective, I wish we could have pooled our efforts for longer."

I took her hand and shook it lightly, "we would have if you left the psychology at home, I wish you luck in your cases."

She held my hand for a second as she looked into my eyes, she let go and smiled lightly, "I wish you the best, you and Detective Dennis. I hope you can put some of this behind you and live again."

Her words were full of sincerity and hit me in the heart, she did see right through me, she could see the immense amount of pain I was in. I suddenly felt sad and guilty. I didn't say anything I just smiled back and watched her walk away. For a moment I wanted to run after her, stop her and go back into the windowless room and scream more. It suddenly occurred to me that as she was asking questions to follow through on a hunch she was pushing my buttons to force me to release everything I had been holding in, to clear my mind so I could focus again. I watched her walk down the hall and into the elevator, wondering if my insurance would cover therapy when I got home.

* * *

I sat in the waiting room for what seemed to be days. Eventually Bo appeared in the waiting room, looking haggard and red eyed. I put down my magazine and stood up to hug her. all she could whisper was "take me home."

She did not speak the whole car ride home and when we got to the hotel she said little, just took a shower and went to bed. I stayed up and arranged for the trip home the next day. I would not put Bo through whatever she had been through anymore. If it was anything like I had experienced with Sarah I could see why Bo was broken down, she didn't have the walls up or the knowledge I did.

I sat in the small chair watching Bo sleep, I decided that I would sell the house in Chicago and take Bo out west or up to the pacific northwest, I needed to go somewhere far from the memories of my life, I knew that if I didn't do something I would soon lose the both of us.

I dozed off in the chair when my phone vibrating in my pocket woke me up, it was a local D.C. number and thought that it was Sarah or Susan confirming tomorrows appointment. I answered the phone with a bitter tone ready to tell them that neither bo nor I would be in that building ever again.

I went into the bathroom and closed the door so I wouldn't wake Bo, "hello?"

"did I have a funeral lauren? Was it nice? Or did you just keep my "body" in the morgue until all of the evidence was collected and you could hold your hands up in victory shouting case closed?"

My entire body tightened up, I had to grab the counter top in the bathroom to prevent myself from falling over.

"oh the silent treatment again, you know you need to work on your social skills, especially for a Police Detective like you, you need to know how to talk to people…" there was a small chuckle that turned into a cough.

I managed to utter out a, "how….."

**more to come! I know what you are all thinking, but as I reveal the impending ending it will click together...so stay with me! also the third book of the stranger series will be started tomorrow, I have to work on it and I should get you all something in a day or so! REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED AS I DWINDLE THROUGH THIS ONE! I heart you all! :}**


	14. Chapter 14

"oh I know what you are thinking, how? How could I still be alive? You have a body and everything!" Ethan was talking excitedly, but I could tell he was struggling as he would cough lightly. " To tell you the truth forging dental records really isn't that hard these days. The difficult part is keeping the original owner alive long enough for you to utilize them. You have to keep them fed, watered, and kept in a dark place that no one would ever think to look. But I had a hunch you and your crack crime fighting team had wised up, that this time one of them would not waste time charging down the doors to rescue you."

My heart was beating so hard that I had to swallow a few times to force it back down into my chest, "Agent Cameron shot you twice, i saw the bullet hit you in the chest."

"She did shoot me twice, that Agent Cameron is quite a good shot. I have to hand it to her, but the combination of you down on the floor and your love dead on the table took priority over chasing me." Ethan paused for the obvious effect, " Do you want to know how I did it?"

I couldn't speak, I was crushing the phone in my hands, wishing I could reach through and crush his throat.

"No? Really? That makes me sad, Lauren, I really thought we were friends, some could say we were like family. I am going to tell you anyway. I kept the dental record in the trunk of my car, he had been riding around with me as I scooped up the lovely bo. I yanked him out and took him to the river, where I did the best I could to recreate your Federal Agents marksmanship, then with a little push, splash!" Ethan sighed on the phone, and coughed hard. "You and your love gave me enough time to escape without too much trouble. An officer down call just takes all focus off of the criminal, so sad. But that's beside the point! The dental records matched up because they were switched along with DNA sample, it helps to have a extra set of hands inside the cookie jar."

I panicked hearing his words. Ethan was admitting to me that he had help. Sarah was right, she was right all along and I threw it in her face like a petulant child.

"I will find you, Ethan and i will kill you for what you did to Bo and I. then I find your partner and kill him too. I promise. I. Will. Find. You."

Ethan laughed a little, than coughed, "you won't have to look for me Lauren, I will come to you when the time is right, like I have before and will again. It won't be anytime soon, I have to heal first. I can't let you have an advantage. As for my partner you shouldn't have far to look, she's been with you the entire time. Helping you out as I first directed her too, then she decided to think for herself."

His words confused me; I had no idea what he was telling me. My mind was racing, "you are a monster, Ethan. Stop playing games with me, it wont get you anywhere with me."

"Oh I am not playing any games with you Lauren; I am telling you what that lovely FBI agent has been trying to get you to listen to. I am just mad at myself, never work with family. They just end up disappointing you."

Shivers went down my spine, Sarah had been hinting that someone close to me was involved, I kept telling myself that Ethan was just feeding my paranoia, trying to manipulate me again.

"you are a fucking liar." I had a sinking feeling as I said it.

"Lauren, you should know by now, I have no reason to lie. I can get to you whenever I want. But I think its time that some secrets are revealed. I suggest that you ask some hard questions when questions are asked of you, you might be intrigued at the answers. it truly is the last time I work with a partner let alone family, she just got in the way more than she helped, especially after I found her after so many years, she also ran from me like you did. When I found her again, I punished her by killing her wife. Significant others always get in the way of family ties." I heard him sigh deeply on the phone.

"what do you mean family? You fucking monster." I was hissing through a clenched jaw.

"haha! I love it when you call me a monster, its kind of cute and reminds me of the monster in the closet you were so afraid of when we were kids. Anyways, we can reminisce later, what was I saying? Oh yes, I think you should ask Catherine about her family, ooops I mean Sarah. Look at her eyes and tell me if you see anything familiar about them. Sarah played along after I tracked her down, for a few years, it helped she had such a fancy job with access to all sorts of records and secrets, then her heart got in the way of things, her guilt was too much. Betraying a lover, betraying the one she loved was too much for her to bear." ethan paused, I could feel the irritation in his voice, "any ways I must be off; I have a bus to catch. Goodbye Lauren. I will see you soon!"

Before I could say anything Ethan hung up. I set the phone down on the bathroom counter then stared at myself in the mirror. My head was aching from everything, I kept looking over and over what Ethan had said along with the conversation Sarah and I had earlier. I shook my head and said, "No, can't be."

At the same time my gut was screaming at me to listen.

I continued staring at myself until I heard a light knock on the door, "Lauren? Are you okay?"

My body tightened up, I didn't know what to do or think. I managed to utter, "yea, I couldn't sleep, Bo." my mind was still processing what Ethan had just dropped in my lap. I was split on whether or not to believe him, he would say and do anything to get under my skin and continue his game.

Bo opened the door and stepped inside. "are you sure? I heard you in here, it woke me up. Who were you talking too?"

I still kept a strong grip on the bathroom counter, my heart pounding, "Ethan is alive."

I watched her in the mirror as she turned completely white. "how?" Bo's voice shook as she said it, she absently reached out and grabbed my arm. Trying to comfort me and herself, Bo was tough but it was expected that she would be less than her normal self after the events of the last few weeks.

"he managed to escape, again." I looked at Bo in her eyes.

She covered her mouth with her hand and leaned against the wall. She was visibly shaken, I turned to face her and said, "he told me that he had someone helping him, that's how he found me. That's how he was able to kidnap you and set up everything perfectly so that I was always one step behind him."

Bo looked up at me in the eyes, her eyes were beginning to fill with tears, "oh my god Lauren, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know."i grabbed her into a tight hug, I was still processing Ethan's cryptic words, it was clear who he was naming, but I couldn't trust it and I did not want to scare bo or inspire her to go after someone unless I had proof. I held her until I heard a soft knock on the hotel door.

I let go of bo and slipped out of the bathroom, I stopped at the suitcase and grabbed my gun. I looked at Bo and motioned for her to grab hers and stand off to the side.

I looked through the peephole and saw Sarah standing at the door with files in her hands. I took a deep breath, tucked my gun in my waist band, and opened the door. "Sarah, its a little late." I tried to maintain a calm demeanor.

Sarah smiled as she stepped into the room, Bo took notice who it was and moved from her spot, setting her gun on top of her suitcase, she smiled tightly at Sarah and sat on the small couch. Sarah nodded at Bo, "i know, I apologize but I wanted to drop a few files off and maybe ask you to take a look at them and maybe you can find something." she handed me the files, I motioned to her to set them on the side table. "what are they?"

"some open murder cases that have hints of Ethan's m.o." Sarah sighed and looked me in the eyes. That's when I saw it, I was staring at the same clear bright blue eyes that stared over me as he lowered the knife down. I took a steady breath, "thank you, Catherine."

I watched as I saw Sarah's jaw clench quickly, as she looked down as subtle as she could, "Catherine? Who is Catherine?" she stared me hard in the eyes, trying to maintain her cover, but I had enough psychology and body language classes that I knew better. There was a small touch of panic in Sarah's eyes.

I felt Bo move closer to me, her silently questioning the same thing. "i think you know, Agent Cameron."

Sarah smiled lightly, "I think you know." the more I stared at the woman in front of me, the more I picked up on the small similarities her and Ethan shared, the same eyes, the same jaw line, they were definitely siblings.

Sarah took a step towards me, "No I don't, Lauren, I apologize if I shook you up this bad with my earlier line of questioning." I took a step back, trying to grip my gun in my still healing right hand. "Please, stop right there." I looked at her, "do I keep calling you Sarah or do you prefer Catherine?"

She continued towards me, "Lauren, I think you need to rest, its been a long day." Sarah looked to Bo, "help me get her to bed, I think she is suffering from a PTSD moment." As Sarah put a hand on my arm. I ripped my arm out of her grasp and stepped back, Bo yelled and tried to step between the two of us. Sarah smiled and tried to use Bo against me, "Lauren has suffered years of psychological trauma and its rearing its ugly head." She put a hand on Bo's arm, Bo pulled back from her, "what the fuck is going on?" she looked at me, "Lauren?"

I kept my eyes on Sarah, "i think Catherine here needs to tell you, not me." Bo yelled again, "who the fuck is Catherine." I dropped my eyes from Sarah to bo, as I went to open my mouth to tell Bo to move behind me and get her gun, Sarah lunged and backhanded Bo across the face. Knocking her to the ground. Bo fell to the ground with a grunt, catching the edge of the chair and knocking herself out. I rushed Sarah and grabbed both of her arms and pushed her up against the wall. I shouted inches away from her face, "who the fuck are you! tell me now! Tell me the truth!"

She shouted back, "i cant, he will kill me if I do." she looked at the passed out Bo, "i am sorry for that, but the less witnesses, the better." Sarah went to push me back. I pushed her harder against the wall, "tell me the fucking truth! Who are you!"

Sarah broke, her face turned red and tears began to fall down her face. "i am no one."

Her words pissed me off, I lost all sense and let go of her. I would make Sarah tell me the truth, I pointed my gun at her as I bent to check on Bo, she was alive and murmuring. Before I stood back up I heard Sarah say, "he would have killed me if I didn't do it, he killed the love of my life because I wouldn't help him." her voice was soft.

I closed my eyes and stepped towards Sarah, she was standing with her hands out, palms facing me to show she was unarmed. I gripped the gun in my hand tightly. She looked up at me, tears were streaming down her face. I stared at her and said, "he told me your name is Catherine."

She took a deep breath, "it was, my adoptive parents changed when I went to live with them. even after I changed my name he was the only one who called me that." Sarah looked up at the ceiling, "I was placed immediately, but Ethan had a harder time because he was different from birth. He always acted strange and I know now he carries the characteristics of a serial killer. I never saw him after that day I was picked up by my new family. Not until about a year ago when he found me looking for you. I don't know how he did it, but he showed up on my doorstep. I was excited at first then, it all began to fall in to place who he was and the crimes he committed, especially after he began asking about you. He told me you were his foster sister and he wanted to reconnect with you. I then realized you were Evans daughter and that the newest murders you were working on, Ethan had slipped and let out a few clues I knew were never public. I tried to stop him and turn him in, that's when he killed my wife and disappeared until I found him at the warehouse." I wanted to throw up at what she was saying, I wanted to run out of the room and never stop till my legs gave out.

"you are full of shit, you are a FBI Agent, there was a million ways to get out of his grasp." I held my gun up, my hand shaking from the over use of under used muscles.

Sarah closed her eyes, "you are right, I had a million ways out." she opened her eyes and looked at me dead in the eyes, "but I wanted my own revenge." Sarah moved closer to me, "i used you and your girlfriend to get closer to Ethan. I may have also blindly helped him to get him closer to you, he was so fixated on you, that I knew you would be the perfect bait." She looked at Bo, who was starting to wake up, "you have to understand, this woman, you love her completely and I am sure you would kill for her?" Sarah began to play with the wedding ring on her finger, "i had to watch my wife die in a field, Ethan tied me to a chair, my wife was sitting across from me and I watched as he slit her wrists. She bled out before I could escape from the bindings."

as sarah told me what she had been through, it suddenly saw flashes of watching Bo and the blood leave her in the same way. it made my heart stop and ache to go to her as she still laid on the floor.

Sarah made a move towards me; I pulled up my gun and pointed it at her, "Don't, don't move any closer to me."

Sarah's tears began to fall, "Everything changed that day, no one would stop me from getting to Ethan and killing him. Even you and bo. I did use you two, I apologize for that, but I see now that my brother and I share similar genetic traits when it comes to focusing on things."

"your brother?" I spat out the question. Sarah nodded, "Ethan and I are biological brother and sister."

Shock washed over me, "no…."

"It's the truth Lauren, when you return to your Chicago office, there will be a package waiting for you, everything you need to know is in it. I had a feeling after you left today that you had put some of the pieces together, and by your knowing my birth name, Ethan has survived and started the game all over again." Sarah let out a shaky breath, her strong exterior was starting to dissolve, "i don't want to play his game anymore, I shot him yes, but , I couldn't kill him when I had the chance, he is my brother and..." Sarah drifted off tears falling harder. I still had the gun pointed at her, I didn't know what to do. my training acted for me, I moved to the hotel phone with my gun still trained on Sarah, I picked up the phone and dialed 911.

"this is Detective Lauren Lewis of the Chicago police, badge number 2021. I need you to send over the police to the Grandview hotel on ninth street, I have a possible accomplice to a serial killer in my room." I didn't know what to do, Sarah had admitted to basically aiding and abetting a serial killer.

I hung up the phone and stared at Sarah. That's when I said, "I let you in to my life, I trusted you with my life and Bo's life." Bo opened her eyes and stared at the two of us, confused, I swallowed hard, "you brought a monster straight into my life, he almost killed me and her. You should have stopped him, ended him."

Sarah stared back through tears, "I'm sorry Lauren, hate consumed me." she started to walk towards me again, I held my gun firm at her.

"don't move…." My finger was on the trigger.

She kept walking towards me ignoring my warnings, she stood right in front of my gun then reached up and pulled it into her. "do it. Lauren, please do it. I have nothing to live for anymore, I have destroyed enough lives and I know he will never leave me alone after this."

My finger shook as it sat on the trigger, I didn't know what to do. she looked at me deep in the eyes, "im sorry…" I felt tears slide down my face.

That's when I heard the sirens screaming towards the hotel, it sounded like the entire D.C. police was coming to my rescue. The flashing lights distracted me for a second, that's when Sarah reached up and covered my hands on the gun with hers. I quickly looked at her and said, "let go of the gun, Sarah." I tried pulling it free from her hands, but my right hand was not strong enough.

Sarah shook her head, she leaned forward and put her head against mine and said, "this isn't your fault, don't hold the guilt forever, tell them I came at you."

Before I could say anything, I felt her finger slip onto mine on the trigger and pull. The shot was deafening. Sarah took a step back she put her hands over her wound that was pouring blood, she looked down at it then up at me with a small smile, Bo shot up to catch her from falling, yelling at me. Sarah pushed out of Bo's arms. She stumbled back and fell down onto the floor. I threw the gun onto the bed and fell to her side. I put my hands over hers panicking to stop the blood that was rushing out, Bo next to me trying to do the same, I was crying hard, "no, oh shit, no they are almost here. You will be okay, oh god Sarah, why did you do this?"

She looked up at me, she was breathing hard, "its the only way, it takes the advantage away from him."

Bo was staring at Sarah and I, I started rambling, "we can figure this out, we can tell them he held you hostage and forced you..." Bo looked at me, "i will go get the paramedics, I can hear them down the hall." I nodded as Bo ran out of the room, I heard her yelling at someone to come this way.

Sarah shook her head pulling at my hands to uncover her wound, "no, its over. find him, kill him for me."

I tried resisting her efforts to pull my hands off, she was losing strength and her blood was all over my hands, I looked down praying that the officers would hurry up, "just wait a minute…they are almost here. Fuck, Sarah."

She smiled up at me weakly and said, "its almost over."

That's when the officers burst into the hotel room guns drawn, they yelled at me to get against the wall. I ignored them and was pulled off of Sarah in a fury of screams and guns. They slammed me against the wall and put me in handcuffs, I was crying too hard to tell them who I was as they yanked me out of the hotel room and let the paramedics in. I was dragged down the hall in handcuffs, covered in blood and tears until I heard a familiar voice yell at the officers. "what the hell are you doing? Let her go right now! Goddamn idiots!"

The officer on my right side said," who the hell do you think you are? This lady just shot the other one in the hotel room!"

I looked up to see Bo thrust her badge into the face of the smart mouth officer, "i am detective Bo Dennis of the Chicago police department, the woman you are dragging around in handcuffs is my partner, Detective Lieutenant Lewis, the woman who just called you for help. So I suggest you release her and apologize, now."

The smart mouth officer looked hard at Bo and she stared hard back at him. The officer grumbled a few rude comments as he set me down on the floor so I could be released from the handcuffs. I collapsed against the wall as Bo knelt next to me, "what happened in there?" she held my face in her hands.

I shook my head and as I tried to speak it came out in sobs, "save her, please."

Bo looked at the two officers and said, "paramedics in there?"

"yes ma'am, they are working on shooting victim now, it doesn't look good though."

"then I suggest you go help them get her out of here and make it look good. Understand?" Bo's voice was strong and commanding, I even looked at her like a rookie officer.

I heard a mumble of yes ma'ams and the two officers ran back down the hall. I was huddled into a ball on the floor. I couldn't control myself and was openly crying. Bo reached down and helped me up, "come on, i need to get you out of here." She hoisted me onto her shoulder and took me out of the hotel.

I don't remember much from the moment Bo sat me down in the car and drove away from the light show of ambulances and police cars. I couldn't see through my swollen tear filled eyes or think clearly, all I kept hearing was the gunshot over and over. Seeing Sarah fall to the ground.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of a dog barking. i sat up and saw that I was in a comfortable bed in a dark room, in a different hotel room. I looked down and saw that I was wearing different clothes, I opened the curtain to the window and saw that I was looking out into some strange compound that looked very governmental. I sighed and leaned my head against the window. A moment later I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned and tried to smile at Bo. Bo smiled back and handed me a cup of coffee, "i know the view isn't great, but its what we have for now."

"where are we?"

"We are in the protective custody of the FBI. It seems they are not taking too lightly to the fact you shot one of their agents." bo ran her hand down my back, "i was stopped at the outside of the hotel driveway and we were taken here until everything can be sorted out." Bo looked at me, "What happened?"

I took a deep breath and leaned against the window again. "Ethan had a hand on the inside, it was Sarah."

Bo made no move, she didn't even react, she stood there and when I looked up at her she raised her eyebrows at me as a cue to continue.

"Ethan called me, that was who I was talking to in the bathroom, he survived and began to confess everything, how he escaped and faked his death. If you look at my cell phone he is the last incoming call, but the number is probably fake. Then he told me who was helping him on the inside, his biological sister." I drifted off, the urge to breakdown was coming back.

Bo sat on the edge of the bed, "his real sister? Did he tell you that?"

I shook my head, "Sarah did, or Catherine as Ethan knows her. she is his sister. Sarah told me everything when I got off the phone with Ethan. She told me how he had found her, used her to find me and then killed her wife because she was an inconvenience. She became consumed with her own rage and need for revenge that she used both of us to draw Ethan out. That's why I had my gun out, i was trying to protect myself."

Bo began to fidget on the bed, she looked down at the floor as I continued. "I called 911 and that's when Sarah came towards me, she walked into my gun and begged me to shoot her, that it was all her fault that Ethan got to me. I tried fighting her off, but my hand is still weak, that's when Sarah forced the gunshot. She pulled the trigger. i didn't, I didn't want to shoot her." I felt the tears run down my face.

Bo was silent, then she said, "I can help and give them a statement, make sure that you aren't blamed for this. I saw and heard some things, but when she backhanded me, things became fuzzy."

I drifted off and eventually laid down, pulling Bo in closer to me, I had shot someone and possibly killed them. It was something I had never done and it was weighing heavy on my heart along with the facts Sarah told me, it all swam together in my head.

* * *

I woke up a few hours in a cold sweat, I was alone as I reached over to feel for Bo. I sat up and began to panic a little, then I heard he door creaked open and Bo stood in the doorway, with a bag of food in her hand, "hey you, morning." she walked over to me and sat down next to where I was sitting up, "i have some egg sandwiches, you should eat." she handed me a grease spotted paper lump, "also, one of the agents saw me down in the cafeteria, that you have been cleared of all charges, the crime lab was able to pick up Sarah's fingerprints off of the firearm. All of the ballistics and physics match up to your story. They are dropping the case against you, calling it an attempted suicide."

I clenched my jaw, sometimes legal terms were harsh. I took a deep breath, "okay."

Bo rested a hand on my thigh, squeezing gently, "do you need to talk?" I wanted to talk, I wanted to sit and ramble, let everything pour out of my mouth. I was tired and I knew I didn't have the energy to hold it together if I started. I met Bo's gaze and just shook my head no, she reached over and put an hand on my arm. "i love you Lauren, I am here if you need to let it all out." Bo sat with me while I picked at the sandwich in the wrapper, "did the agent tell you when we can go home?"

Bo nodded, "as soon as you are ready, we can be on the next flight back to Chicago, they said the Chicago FBI office will do our debriefing and interviews." Bo sighed hard, "maybe it will go a little easier this time."

I nodded in silent agreement, I knew what was to come, I would be interviewed again to tell them everything I had encountered with Sarah and a case file would be put together, placed in a file cabinet and I would return to my desk. Bo would return to her division and that would be that, I sighed and grabbed Bo's hand, "i want to see her before we go."

Bo looked at me, "Are you sure? I mean, after everything." bo was still holding back her own emotions of what happened in the hotel room and finding out Sarah was the accomplice had left her bitter. "i think I need to, I cant explain why, but I think its something I have to do?" I looked at Bo, "nothing makes any sense right now, and I need a tangible to hold on to, aside from you." I smiled as Bo held a tight smile, "okay, I will go with you."

Bo pulled into the hospitals garage and parked. Before we got out she turned to me and said, "are you sure you want to do this?" I sighed, "yes, It just feels like something I have to do." I opened the car door and got out quickly before I could actually rethink going into the hospital.

The ride up the elevator to the ICU ward was a long and silent one. neither of us spoke, Bo stared straight ahead, saying nothing. She held my hand, never letting go as we both watched the floor numbers flick by.

The elevator finally stopped and the doors opened, Bo stepped out first, I hesitated for a second. Bad memories were coming back to me, the stark whiteness of the hospital and the smell of antiseptic reminded me of the last two times I was a visitor. Bo turned to me, "are you?"

I pushed off the back of the elevator and forced myself to step out. my feet were heavy like concrete, I was nervous and I had no idea why. I followed Bo to the nurses station where she asked to speak to the head nurse after being told visitor's hours where two hours away. I smiled at this new take charge Bo, she was taking care of me and ignoring the fact I always had to be in control. After a moment an elegant woman came floating around the corner dressed in scrubs. She smiled lightly at the both of us and said, "how can I help you?"

Bo did most of the talking, "My name is Detective Dennis and this is Lieutenant Lewis, we are good friends and coworkers of Agent Sarah Cameron, I know its early but, we have been working on Agent Cameron's case, and well..." Bo played up the sadness and the elegant woman before us bit.

The head nurse flipped through the metallic clipboard she held, she furrowed her brow for a second and then said, "I am sorry but you wont be able to see Ms. Cameron."

Bo cut the nurse off with a firm authoritative tone, "yes we can. All of the necessary paperwork has been filed, we were told that we would have open visitation rights. You can call the chief resident of the icu ward, Dr. Corpus. He signed off on all of it. then you can call my boss Section Chief Harold Tietian." She was threatening the nurse lightly with the name dropping, names that were obviously pulled from the visitation sign in sheets at the nurses station that Bo had stared at as we waited.

The head nurse fought back with her own authoritative tone, "I understand that you have open visitation, I have all the copies of the waivers and memos right here on my board, but if you had let me finish I would have been able to tell you that you wont be able to see Ms. Cameron because she has been transferred to another hospital. Three hours ago."

Bo looked at me, I was completely confused, she turned back to the nurse, "transferred? That is not possible. She is under protective FBI custody until she comes out of her coma. Who authorized the transfer?" I was amazed at Bo and her ability to latch on to key component of conversation she heard in the cafeteria.

The nurse flipped in her clipboard again, "it's right here, a SAC James Taptner. FBI. He gave the night shift nurse these transfer papers, also had a EMS crew with him ready to transport Ms. Cameron."

She held out the transfer sheet. Bo snatched it out of her hands and read. When she was done she looked back at the nurse, "I need to use your phone now. I also highly suggest you contact the night nurse and get her down here." She reached for the phone, "Alex, its Bo, do me a favor, run a quick check for a SAC James Taptner, yea I know you haven't heard from us for like a week, now is not the time." Bo was whispering as the head nurse kept her glare on me. I was frozen standing by the head nurse, I had a sinking feeling and couldn't bring myself to speak. Bo turned back to the head nurse and said do you have cameras in this unit?"

"yes, of course. We use them to monitor patients."

"where is the control room?"

"the camera room is right over there." She pointed over her shoulder, I noticed her hands were shaking as she did. Bo could be extremely intimidating when she needed and wanted to be. Bo started moving towards the room, "let me in."

The nurse let her into the room and showed Bo where the current tapes were rolling, I followed closely fearing the worse. Bo and I both asked for Sarah's room tape. The nurse pulled it out and put it into a dvd player on a cart. Bo and i sat and started reviewing the tapes, I was starting to come out of my strange guilt haze as something felt suspicious. She looked at the nurse who was hovering anxiously, "did you get a hold of the night shift nurse?"

The nurse shook her head no and took that as her cue to leave Bo alone with me. when the door shut behind her I finally spoke, "I have a bad feeling….."

"I know….."

As she rewound the tape she stopped at the approximate time that Sarah was picked up. She hit play and we sat in silence eyes peeled to the television. I had to clench my jaw tight at the sight of Sydney in the bed with tubes running in and out of her. I couldn't look and focused on the walls of screens monitoring the other patients on the ICU floor as Bo grabbed my knee to comfort me.

"fuck…." Bo mumbled

I turned back to the television to see what Bo was swearing at.

A man in a dark coat limping walked into Sarahs room and bent down to her face. He was soon followed by the night nurse who went around removing iv bags and pulling back blankets. Obviously readying Sarah for transport. I squinted but I couldn't see the mans face. Shortly three paramedics came into the room with a stretcher, I watched in pain as they hoisted Sarah from her bed and placed her onto the stretcher, plugging her into portable life support units. It only took them a minute and they wheeled her out. the man in the dark coat stood and spoke with the nurse for a moment, then she left the room.

That's when the man turned to walk out, he took two steps then looked straight up at the camera, his whole face in full view, he smiled at the camera and gave a small salute and a wink then walked out of the room.

I choked on my words as they came out, "Ethan, its him."

Bo looked at me then quickly rewound the tape and froze it where Ethan looked up at the camera. She took a closer look, then back at me, "Are you sure?"

"I wont ever forget the monster with blue eyes." I turned away from the television so I could wipe away the tears. I was shaking, he would never let me be.

"goddamit, why would he take her?" Bo had an edge in her voice, she was bordering on frantic.

"he doesn't leave things behind. He always cleans up his mess, that's why he took her. Ethan didn't want me to have the last word with her. everything he does is to hurt me." I turned back looking at Bo, "even if it means using his own family."

I walked out of the monitor room into a sea of suits and panic. Bo followed me out and immediately went to talk to one of the suits, I walked past the both of them and into the elevator. I didn't know where to go and just hit random buttons. I ended up on the maternity ward. I walked past the newborn ward where all of the new inhabitants of this mess of a world slept dreaming of what was to come next. I found the chapel for grieving mothers and quietly went in. I sat in the back and stared at the stained glass image of Jesus holding a lost lamb. I stared at it until it burned into the back of mind, I was completely numb. I finally laid down and closed my eyes, praying that this was all a bad dream.

I was shaken awake by an orderly, "ma'am? Ma'am? Are you alright? Do you want me to call the priest?"

I looked up at him, he was a young man with a small amount of fear in his eyes.

"no…I just want to sit here. Is that okay?"

Oh I don't have a problem with that ma'am, but there are some policemen walking through the floors, they might come in here and bother you. you want me to tell them to stay out?"

I shook my head no, "that's okay, I think they are looking for me."

He took a step back and became defensive. I smiled at him, "don't worry I didn't do anything. I just disappeared. Can you tell me if one of them is a good looking brunette?"

The orderly looked around the chapel obviously thinking harder than was necessary, "yea…I just walked by her, she is talking to the nurses at the nurses' station. You want me to go get her?"

I smiled at him and nodded, he smiled back and quick stepped it out of the chapel. I took a deep breath and let it out as I leaned forward onto my knees. It wasn't a dream it was all too real.

I didn't hear Bo come into the chapel, I only felt her sit down next to me. "I was a little worried, you disappeared." she leaned against me and took my hand in hers.

"I wish I could."

"do you want to know, any of it?" Bo stared at the stained glass window and I could feel that she was thinking what I was, would this ever end.

"what more is there to know? Ethan took Sarah, took her out of the damn hospital just as easy as getting a book out of the library."

"true, but he did leave this for you." she reached over and handed me a note in an evidence bag. I stared at it and then took it from her. I pulled the plastic taut so I could read it.

-Lauren,

She is in good hands with me, I couldn't let you have her. That victory of killing her before I could, it doesn't seem right. call me selfish. Don't worry we will have a reunion soon enough.

-E.

I handed the note back to Bo. She held the note on her lap, "The FBI have already begun to trace the EMS wagon that he used. They should be able to trace where he went to with her, he has to go to a hospital with an ICU to keep her alive. He will slip up and we will get him."

I turned back to look at the stained glass, "Why bother, Bo? we wont be able to find him. He finds us."

"I promise, we will find him. I will make sure he never harms you again." I looked in her eyes and the intensity in them told me that she would spend the rest of her life tracking him down if I asked it of her.

I laughed lightly, "don't waste your energy, its over. Its done. I cant keep fighting like this."

"Lauren, don't think like that. we will win this one." Bo squeezed my hand harder.

I turned to her angry, "win what? There isn't anything to win. I have nothing left to give him, or anything I want to keep risking for him. I think its time that I just walk away."

Bo sat in silence. I could tell that she was at a loss of words. I sat back in the pew. "I want to go home."

Bo quietly shook her head yes, I could feel her frustration. I stood up and walked to leave the chapel, as I stepped out into the hallway I spoke to Bo without looking at her, "we have to let it go, I am done living in fear. I know he will come for me, for us. Until then, I want to live and not let him continue to have this hold over me and the ones I love." I walked down the hospital hallway with tunnel vision.

**A/N: I apologize for mistakes, they are mine, I watch tv while I write and my brain translates weird. Also, I think there is one more chapter to come and then this one is done for and onto the strangers series. this chapter was tough for me to write as I worked out the why. but yes, there is a little more to come before we see the end here!**


	15. Chapter 15

Bo and I left the next day, flying home to Chicago I thought a lot as Bo stuck by my side. I did truly love her and I knew now was the perfect time to embrace life over work. We had not spoken much during the flight, just sitting quietly and holding hands. My obsessive mind kept filing over everything had happened. I was cleared completely from any formal charges for the hotel incident and was applauded by the FBI for my help. It just felt like I had been through a war and the only other person that had been there with me was Bo. I felt guilt that I had been partly responsible for what she had gone through and I wondered if it was a hurdle we could over come.

I was relieved as I opened my front door and set my bags down, Bo followed in quietly behind me. Grabbing the bag I set down, "i will take these upstairs." she spoke softly and smiled, there was tension between us, rightfully so. I pulled my jacket off and dropped in on the couch and headed straight to my leather chair, I moved the curtains so I could see the sun setting on the lake and fell into the chair, staring.

Bo came back down from my bedroom, she walked to the chair and stood next to it, "i am going to run back to my apartment. Check on Kenzi and a few other things." I looked up at her, I could see how tired she was in her eyes, I moved from the chair and followed her to the door, as she opened it, "will you be coming back?"

Bo sighed, "if you want me too." when her eyes met mine I could see that there was a lot she wanted to talk about, but if it was with me, I was not sure. I slipped Bo into my arms hugging her, "i do want you to come back." I held her as I reached for the extra key I kept in my side table drawer. I pressed it into her hand, "come back when you are all set at home."

Bo smiled as she held the key in her hand, she leaned up and kissed me lightly, "i wont be long." she walked out of the door and stopped, turning around, "i will bring some food back and we can sit and talk."

I nodded, "i will be waiting, use the key in case I fall asleep." I watched her walk out to her car and drive away, our conversation felt forced. I closed the door and locked it, returning to the chair and the lake. I sat and stared for what felt like an hour until I heard a knock at my door and Alex's face poke into the large front window.

I laughed lightly as I let him in. He uncharacteristically swooped me into a brotherly hug, "holy crap Lauren, what is going on? I read the briefings that came through the department." he dropped me down and headed to the couch as I wen to the fridge for beer. Alex held up the large manila folder I had asked him to bring over when we landed. "here's that thing you asked for, it was sitting on the middle of your desk like you said." he flopped it down onto the coffee table in exchange for the beer I offered him. I sat down next to him staring at the manila folder, it had Sarah's handwriting on it and I dreaded what I would find inside.

"Ethan is still alive, he is in hiding for the time being and I...i don't know what to do." I looked at Alex as he held his beer bottle in mid sip, "Ethan is still alive? How. Agent Cameron shot him, we have a body."

I nodded, "Agent Cameron is Ethan's sister, his biological sister and somehow couldn't finish the job, Ethan used another body to throw us off his trail, he is still out there, he left me a note." I closed my eyes and leaned back in the couch. "i need to quit this job."

Alex was visibly confused, "i, uh, ummm what?" I took a deep breath and told Alex the short version of everything that happened in D.C. When I was done he stared at me blankly, "holy shit Lauren, that's all I can really say." he set the beer bottle down and leaned on his knees, "where's bo? How is she doing?"

"she is back at her apartment taking care of some things, things have been strange between us. I think its because I don't want to fight anymore and play the chase game. For the first time in my life I have no idea what I want to do." I leaned to look at Alex, he could see how lost I was.

"you love Bo right?"

I nodded. He smiled, "And she loves you?" I couldn't help the small smile that crept across my face, "yes she does, she has stuck with me through all of this, and even after her time with Ethan, she is still here. I think." I closed my eyes, I was expecting her to not come back after she left for her apartment, I was starting to prepare that she would be slowly disappearing to find a stable life without serial killers chasing her.

Alex patted my arm, "then that's all that matters. You have been talking about leaving this job for years now, almost everyday you drift off and stare at the lake, I call that your retirement stare. I think you need to start a new life, like you should have after Elle." Alex smiled, "i love you like a sister, I love working with you and I think you are one of the most amazing detectives I have ever worked with, but I think if you keep this job you are going to lose yourself and Bo." Alex grabbed the almost full bottle of beer from my hands, "as for the nutjob Ethan, I suspect that envelope with Agent Cameron's handwriting on it may give you the lead you need."

I sighed hard, "i don't even want to open that envelope, I fear its going to carry me further down the rabbit hole."

Alex picked the envelope up and set it on my lap, "read it, finish things and move on. In whatever order you choose to do that, I don't care but you have to Lauren. Before you lose that girl you love and that I am so jealous you get to see naked." Alex winked at me as he flashed one of his pervy smiles. I laughed and punched him in the thigh.

We both paused as the sound of the front door opening caught our attention. Alex placed his hand on his gun.

"hey Lauren, I grabbed some clothes, Kenzi wasn't home. I told her to call me and maybe stop by here if that's okay with you." Bo came around the corner and was met with Alex and I frozen in ready poses. She and Alex smiled at the same time, "hey you, I didn't know you were coming over!"

Alex relaxed and leaned back in the couch, "Lt. Here asked me to come by and say hi." he looked at me and we communicated silently, he winked at me again and stood up, "but was just leaving, I have to get back to the office and finish up some paperwork." he turned to me, "i will call you tomorrow and we can get coffee and maybe talk about your office shifting hands."

I laughed, "maybe on the office, but coffee for sure." Alex pointed his finger at me in a cheesy way and as he walked past Bo he gave her a quick side hug, then ran out the front door. Bo moved and sat down next to me on the couch, absently placing her hand on my thigh. I covered her hand with mine and laced my fingers in hers, "how are you, bo?"

she looked at me with brown eyes that hid so much, Bo smiled weakly, "i am tired, and worried. Worried about you, and us." she hung her head down, "i know its a stupid thing to think about after everything that just happened. But it has been a lot to take in."

I tried to smile to comfort bo, "well I mean the idea that you are involved with woman who's foster brother is stalking her, that I was forced into shooting a colleague who was working with the man who has been chasing me all my life, it is a lot to take in."

Bo clenched her jaw, "what happens next, Lauren."

I met her eyes, "what happens next, I don't know. I don't go back to work for another week, plenty of time for me to think what I will do next." I motioned to the envelope still sitting on my lap, "this will be the deciding factor in what I do next in my career." I pulled bo closer, "as for us, what happens next is we work through this, I know one thing for sure is that I do love you and you are one of the things I want to hold onto and keep fighting for. The rest of it, I can take or leave."

Bo half smiled, "but what about Ethan...he will come back."

"he will, but that's something I cant live in fear of everyday. I know he will come back, I know I am his number one focus in life. But if I live looking behind my back and always wondering what if, when and where, I let him win."

Bo wrapped her arms around me, I held her tighter, "i will keep you safe, bo. That is another promise I can make." Bo whispered, "i love you Lauren, and there is nothing or no one that will keep me from you."

* * *

I stared at the manila envelope on my kitchen island, Bo had just left me to go to work. It had been two days since we got back and we spent time together, talking as much as we could about everything that happened. It was the only way aside from the individual forced therapy sessions that were being forced upon by the department as standard operating procedure. I ignored the file until Bo left me in the morning, I clutched my coffee cup and engaged into a staring contest with an inanimate object. I had a week or so left of my time away, then I was back to my office and the case loads.

I let out a breath and set my cup down, pulled the envelope to me and ripped open the end. The files that slid out were blazoned with the FBI seal and there was a small note on the stack. I pulled off the rubber band and held the note up.

Lauren,

one way or another the reason why you have these files in your possession is because you have found out who I am. It was bound to happen and I needed to come clean. In here are all the cases that Ethan has ever been involved with, his foster records and my record. It may help you as the chase continues, it will give you advantage over Ethan.

I am sorry for everything,

Sarah.

I set the note down, I knew in that moment that Sarah had planned to end things in her own way, her guilt had consumed her and it prevented her from killing her brother and it drove her to attempt suicide.

I went through the foster records, Ethan had been disruptive in all of the homes he was placed in, I was the only one he focused on. He bounced from mental institute to the streets at eighteen and his criminal record was extensive until he suddenly disappeared at the age of twenty one. I had to push through the files Sarah had built on her brother, her handwriting scribbled on the sides. She had an idea that Ethan was killing randomly to satisfy whatever drove him, until he found out where I was. At the bottom of the stack was the case file of Sarah's wife. I flipped through the crime scene photographs quickly, it was a brutal scene and far too familiar to me. I clenched my jaw as I read over the report. Ethan had kidnapped Sarah's wife from their home in Virginia taken her well out into the farm field of southern Virginia where he lured his sister. Sarah had watched her wife die slowly and painfully while she was restrained to a chair.

The couple was not found for a few hours until one of Sarah's co workers tried calling her and received no response. Sarah was kept in the hospital for a week, she amazingly passed her psyche exams afterwards with flying colors. I set the report down, it would not be hard too do, a determined mind will overcome anything to continue on the path set by the owner.

I read through all of the files, absorbing the type of person Ethan had become. Very little in him had changed from the destructive child he was. It was an advantage for me, I now knew everything about him, I would be better prepared the next time I met him in the back and forth mental games he loved to play. I just had to worry about how to protect Bo. I looked out at the lake for answers.

* * *

One week later I walked into my office to find Alex sitting in his usual spot. "the head shrinker passed you with flying colors, welcome back?"

I set my bag down and sat in my chair, mildly noticing someone had altered its usual settings. I shot Alex a dirty look, he frowned, "sorry, I sat in it a couple times. Its a nice chair."

I fixed my chair, "yes, I am cleared with green flags, green lights and anything else you can compare to me having a clean bill of mental health." I stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to ask, "are you really ok, Lt."

"one day I will answer that question honestly, but today is not that day." I pushed the huge stack of files that were teetering on my desk. "so what is new around here?"

Alex pulled out his notebook, "we have a few open cases, that should be tied up in a couple days after interviews. We got a new one last night, I was about to head out on but someone told me you were gracing us with your first day back." he flipped a few pages, "oh and lastly, the media loves you right now."

I frowned, Captain Jameson had given me a briefing and hour ago, it had leaked out what happened in the hospital and I had been headline news for awhile until the next bigger and better story came around. The lower ranked news outlets had picked up the story and began to call the department everyday. I was told to exercise extreme discretion when approached by the media. "Jameson just gave me the media protocol manual." I pulled it out of my bag and threw it on the desk at Alex. "at least Jameson made sure they went no where near my house or Bo's apartment."

Alex picked up the manual and flipped through it, "how is Bo by the way? I have talked her on the street a couple times as our cases overlapped, but she is super tight lipped lately." Alex shook his head at the manual, "i don't blame her."

I leaned back in the chair, "she is quiet with me, too. I feel bad about so much, and I need to figure out what to do next."

"well, what do you want to do? The FBI are still looking into Cameron's great escape from the hospital, Ethan has made it to the infamous ten most wanted. Our end is all tied up, we were able to get a real identification on the body Ethan used at the docks, that's been cleared up." Alex ran a hand over his beard, "i hate to say it, but its a waiting game with that piece of shit, hopefully he gets gangrene and dies."

I raised my eyebrows at Alex, "gangrene?"

he shrugged, "i heard its painful." Alex dropped his feet from my desk, "maybe its time to investigate that early retirement plan you have been prattling on about for years now. Snatch up the sexy detective in district six, and move as far away as you can." Alex stood up and leaned over the desk, looking in my eyes, "Lauren, its time that you make the most out of your life. He has presented you with the perfect excuse to say fuck it all and live." we stared at each other for a moment before he straightened up, "that's my advice. In the meantime, want to join me on this new case I picked up last night?"

I was absorbing Alex's advice, he was right. I had to make the most out of my life. I pulled open my drawer and grabbed my gun, sliding it onto my waist I stood up, "you can drive." I followed Alex out of my office, hoping that going back to work would clear my head or at least push me to make a decision.

* * *

Pushing past the uniformed officers holding back the reporter I had just throw garbage at, I yelled at Alex I would be going back to the station. Alex and I had been processing the scene of the case he caught last night, when a reporter pushed past he scene tape. I was knee deep in a dumpster, looking for the bloody clothes of the victim when I was barraged with questions about my lesbian lover, the FBI agent I had shot, how it felt to be at the mercy of a serial killer. I had played nice and answered no comment until he asked about Bo and what happened in the warehouse. I lost it and threw handfuls of wet garbage at the reporter until uniformed officers restrained him.

I slammed the car door so hard it rocked the car. I had to close my eyes to calm myself, I was close to dropping the garbage and just using my fists. I leaned against the steering wheel, only looking up to see the reporter being dragged to the backseat of a cruiser. Anger filled me again, I started the car and drove back to the station. As soon as I sat behind my desk I opened the bottom drawer and pulled out the early retirement paperwork I had started. Setting it in front of me I stared at it. I grabbed my phone and called bo.

"Lauren? Are you okay? Alex just sent me a text about the reporter." I could hear that she was outside, the sounds of Chicago traffic in the background, she was on scene somewhere.

"yea, im fine. Just a little irritated." I swung in my chair so I could look out the window at the sailboats, my calming point. "can you come to the house as soon as you can? I want to talk to you about something, well a few things." my eyes roamed over the different colored sails, calming me down with every new patterned offered to me.

"of course, I am just about to finish collecting witness statements. I can be over in an hour, hour and a half."

"i will see you then, and be careful bo." I hung up and moved my focus back to the paperwork in front of me. I opened the bottom drawer again and pulled out my medical school acceptance package. It had been shoved in there with my retirement paperwork long ago. I took a deep breath and called the number on the front letterhead.

* * *

"hey, sorry it took me a little longer than I told you, the one witness kept changing her statement." bo walked into the house, dropping her jacket on the couch as she walked to where I was standing in the kitchen. I smiled and held out a beer to her, "no worries."

Bo took a deep drink from the cold beer, then looked at me, "So whats up."

before I started the diatribe I had been practicing, my hand went to Bo's neck and I pulled her in for a deep kiss. I could feel her melt into me on first contact of my lips on hers. We had not been intimate aside from sleeping in the same bed and hugs, it had been a while and I could feel how long it had been as she eagerly accepted the unexpected kiss. When we parted, Bo had a grin on her face, "wow. That is quite the hello."

I bit my bottom lip as my hands moved to hold hers, "i have a couple things to tell you, ask you." I let go one of her hands and picked up the letter I had been staring at, waiting for Bo to show. I pushed to her. Bo looked down at it as I spoke, "Alex and I talked this morning when I went in. he told me that it was time to make the most of my life in the way I saw fit. I finally made a decision in that regard."

I watched as Bo picked up the letter and read over it, her brow furrowed until she read the final paragraph, her face eased up and she looked over the watermarked paper, "you are serious, about this?"

I nodded, "very much so. I picked that up on the way home, my retirement paperwork is sitting on Captain Jameson desk for his final signature tomorrow." I squeezed Bo's hands, "how do you feel about dating a medical student?"

Bo smiled, pulling me closer to her, "as long we get to have late night sexy study sessions, I am perfectly okay with it." she paused and cocked her head, "does this mean we are officially girlfriends?"

I laughed, "officially, which brings me to the second part of this." taking a deep breath I slowly asked, "i want to ask you, if you wanted to maybe move in with me. Cohabitate. Its for multiple reasons, I like having someone to come home too, even though I am home before you get off work, I want to keep you close so you are safe...and lastly." I pushed a small stack of emails I had printed out at the office, "Where you do you want to live?"

Bo looked at me confused, "what do you mean Lauren?"

I tapped the stack of emails, "after I hot garbaged the reporter, I spent the afternoon contacting medical schools. These are the ones who accepted me based on my school records and my original application to northwestern medical. California, new York, Seattle, d.c., Toronto, Boston and even England. It helps to have a genius IQ on the record."

Her hands moved from my waist to sift through the emails, "are you serious Lauren?"

**more to come as always!i had a last minute idea that may drag this out into a set up for a sequel down the road. but do not fret! the girls have more action and drama to deal soon!**


	16. Chapter 16

"very. I can stay here too, but I think it is time that I make the most out of my life, follow through on so many things I have wanted to do. I cant continue being a detective after everything, Ethan was my breaking point, its time for change." I leaned over, snaking my arm around Bo's waist, "and I want you to come with me."

I saw her bite her lip as she looked over the emails and the different cities. "i don't know what to say. I mean, I love my job still, the reporters are finally backing off me." she turned quickly to me, "can I have a day to think about it?"

"of course, I know this is all short notice and a bit of a surprise for you. I mean we have only known each other for almost three months."

Bo laughed, "it has felt like three years, but I know what you mean. I want to think about it, I have Kenzi to keep in mind. She is like a sister to me, I just got settled into being a detective here and." Bo sighed, "but I also cannot imagine you not being around me."

it was also something I could not imagine either.

* * *

The next morning I sat outside of Captain Jameson's office, waiting to have my expected meeting with him. He called me first thing, I knew it was because of my retirement request. I could hear Jameson talking to someone in his office, it was female voice but as hard as I strained to hear, I could not pick up who it was. Fifteen minutes later, Jamesons door opened up and a tall woman with auburn hair walked out, the woman was beautiful and had the same elegance that Sarah did, the woman was also wearing the same standard issued black pantsuit of the FBI. Jameson issued his goodbyes to the woman, who's hazel eyes drifted over to meet mine. The woman smiled lightly as she shook Jameson's hand, "thank you captain for you time, I will be in touch." the woman threw me another glance as she walked past me. There was something about her that made me uneasy. Jameson folded his arms and leaned against the doorway, "in the office now, Lewis. We need to talk."

I stood up and smoothed out my button down, and brushed past Jameson to sit in front of his desk. He sat in his chair and folded his hands over the paperwork I had submitted the day before. "you want to retire, for real this time, Lauren?"

"i do, that's why that is sitting on your desk." I looked at him then blurted out, "why was that FBI agent here? Detective Cambridge told me that we had wrapped up the Latin murders and Ethan's on our end, that it had transferred over to the feds."

"unfortunately, that is above your pay grade and you are about to retire." Jameson sighed hard at me, "are you sure you want to retire? You have maybe five years left for full benefits. You could be living happy at forty." Jameson absently fingered through the papers in front of him.

I started out snarky, Jameson's pulling the rank on me irritated me, " I know, but I don't really care about full benefits and all that. I know I will get at least twenty percent of what I am suppose to. But the bottom line is, I don't think I want to do this job anymore, after everything that has happened, its changed how I feel about so much Ed." I had calmed down a little, "I wont make it to forty."

"we need you Lauren, you are one of the best out there. I don't want to lose you, what if I promoted you to lead inspector? You keep your office, no more field work unless you want it. You just look over other detectives work and you wont pull case loads?" Jameson was negotiating with me. Becoming a Lieutenant inspector would be a big bump in pay and I would be a desk jockey.

"tempting offer, but I want to change careers completely, follow through on something I had planned a long time ago."

Jameson gave me a hard stare, "captain, I have approval from the superintendent to offer you captain, any district you want to take, shit you can have my job. I am close to retirement anyways."

I laughed, "you want me to forgo my retirement so you can do what I am?"

he shrugged, "it was worth a shot." he leaned forward and grabbed a pen, "give me at least two months to find your replacement."

"i can do that, but keep in mind that I might be leaving the city for a different one as soon as I settle on which school I want to attend too. I will help you find a replacement as well."

Jameson scribbled his signature on the dotted line, "please tell me you are least going into forensic medicine?"

"primarily surgical medicine with a minor focus on research medicine, I don't want to look at anymore dead bodies, I leave that to Dr. waters." Jameson held out the signed sheet.

"good luck Lauren, you will be missed." when I took the sheet from him, "but I will leave the door open for you, if you ever want to come back, change your mind, I will find a place for you."

"thank you, but I think I will be fine ed." I held out my hand to shake his, "thank you for everything Ed, you took good care of me from the moment I walked in this station in my brand new creased uniform blues."

Jameson stood up and took my hand, smiling, "you were one of the best, kid."

I nodded lightly, suddenly feeling emotional. I held up the sheet as a final goodbye and walked out of his office. I stared at the signature the entire ride down to my office. Alex was in his usual spot, sifting through a case file in his hands. I walked past him, setting the sheet from Jameson into my bag.

"is it true? You have flown the coop?"

"that is quite an analogy, but yes. Captain just signed off on my request after offering me at least two huge promotions."

Alex leaned on his one arm on the desk, "how big of a promotion?"

"first inspector lieutenant then captain of any district of my choosing." I was looking around my office trying to calculate how many boxes I would need for my collection of random stuff.

"whoa, Lt. You are telling me you could be captain and you turned it down? That's like the cake of cake jobs in the department. You wear fancy dress whites, drink coffee and have discount lunches at the best restaurants in town. That and its one step closer to becoming police superintendent of the entire city." Alex sighed, I knew he had bigger ambitions but was constantly passed up when promotions rolled around.

"you know how much I hate wearing the uniform, especially that white one. It just has complaint department written all over it. I also hate, hate politics and that is all that job is. Complaints and politics." I sighed, "yea I would be making six figures, but at the end of medical school, if I choose so, I can be making twice that and doing good in peoples lives."

"you don't think you don't do good for people in this job?" Alex raised his eyebrows at me.

"Alex, I don't need you to negotiate with me as well, I made up my mind. I want out." I let out a breath, "i have done good things here yes, but Ethan has tainted that. Bo will carry scars, mentally and physically from him, the families that suffered at his hand. I cant keep on with that in the back of my mind."

Alex had nothing to say, so he pushed the case file to me, "this is the statements from witnesses from the murder the other night, the one where you threw garbage at that reporter." he leaned back as I read through the reports. I could see him looking around the office, "Alex, I will make sure you at least get my office."

His face broke out in a wide grin, "oh you are the best Lt. Can I also have the chair?"

I laughed, "yes, my one at home is way better than this one." Alex threw up his hand in victory, I smiled as I had just made his day. I had not told him that there was a chance that I would be leaving the city depending on what Bo decided and what school I ultimately chose. I watched him as he was silently measuring out things and picturing where his silly die hard posters would fit on the walls behind me. I shook my head and refocused on witness statements and evidence reports.

* * *

I left the office early, leaving Alex to size up my office more and begin to phase me out of the remaining cases we had. I also had an appointment to get my right hand checked. It had a been healing even after I had pushed it once again during the incident with Sarah at the hotel room. Sitting on the hard wood chair, waiting for the doctor to come in, I sifted through emails on my phone. A text from Bo came in as I was deleting joke emails from Alex.

-Lauren, I will be over later. But I thought about it, and yes to moving in with you and I have always wanted to live down south. -

I smiled at the text, I was genuinely surprised Bo wanted to return to D.C. But Virginia was beautiful and Bo had mentioned how much she liked it during the short time we were there. Before I could text Bo back, Dr. Bettis stepped into the room.

Smiling his baby face smile, "Ms. Lewis, its good to see you and not under my direct care." he immediately went to work, motioning for my arm. Dr. Bettis pressed lightly around the newly forming scar. "it looks good, I am glad that we were able to finally take the stitches out and leave them out. Any pain or difficulty?"

"it is still sore when I move it certain ways, I have not been able to hold my firearm like I used too." I winced as he poked a particularly sore spot. "i do have a question, will this heal completely in time, so that I will have a normal range of motion and dexterity?"

Dr. Bettis let go of my arm as he went to scribble notes in my chart, "you should in time, yes. There was a lot of muscle damage and the tendons were torn from the second time you ripped open the stitches. I can prescribe some physical therapy if you are concerned about being to return to a normal grip for shooting."

"I was more concerned if I could hold a scalpel and perform surgery." I smiled as Dr. Bettis turned back to me, "I am leaving the police department and starting medical school soon, surgical medicine."

Dr. Bettis laughed as he shook his head, "that is quite remarkable for a woman like you. Which school have you set your sights on?" I could tell he was finding mild humor in the fact that I was a thirty one year old woman embarking on a path that took most from twenty two to just about my age now to complete. I smirked, "Georgetown, they accepted me last week based off of my previous scores on the MCAT."

"oh really, and what was your score." Dr. Bettis leaned back, I could see the doctor ego sneaking out in this young kid.

"you can find it online, I was one of three that year that had perfect or near perfect scores." I rolled down my sleeve, "am I good here?" I stared at the young doctor who was slowly realizing things, "you are that Lauren Lewis? You were going to Northwestern weren't you? I was a senior that year you were to start, and all of the deans and instructors could not stop talking about you." he looked at me with a new found respect, "why a cop?"

I stood up and grabbed my gun and jacket, "i wish I could answer that, but I no longer exactly know why." I settled the jacket on my shoulders, "back to my original question, will I be healed enough?"

Dr. Bettis nodded, "yes you should be back to normal in at least four to six months, as long as you don't strain the tendons. I might suggest you wear a brace at times."

I smiled, "thank you." I walked out of the exam room smiling to myself as I could see the gears still turning in the young doctors head.

Opting to meet Bo in the park instead of at home, I walked around the city. It was cool summer evening and for the first time in a long time I actually enjoyed it. I sat on a bench facing the lake, watching the water and listening to the sounds of people enjoying the last few days summer had to offer.

Bo sat quietly next to me, "hey you." she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, "Sorry if I am a little late, I pulled another body over on the Southside. It looks like a drug deal gone bad." Bo looked tired and it echoed into her voice. "did you get my message?"

I nodded, "i was at the doctor, getting a checkup on my arm." Bo grabbed it and held it in her hands, "and? Are you cleared for duty and maybe extra side duties?" she smirked at me. We had not been intimate since that night so long ago, before she was taken. We were both healing and anytime we started, one of us flinched or could not move properly.

"i have physical therapy starting in a couple days, I should be back to normal in four to six months." I shrugged at Bo as she frowned. I reached up and pushed some hair away from her face, "good thing I am ambidextrous, and I could always wear a brace.." Bo gave me a oh hell no look at the mention of a brace, I ran my hand down her neck, running a thumb over her pulse, drawing a smile out of her. "back to the message, Georgetown it is then. Right?"

"if that works for you, but there is one thing. Kenzi, my best friend. I cant leave her here and when I told her that you and I were talking about moving, she said she will follow." bo looked up at me with questioning eyes, "she is like my little sister, I am not saying she has to live with us, but is it okay if she follows us down there?"

it was a strange request, but in the small dealings I had with Bo's best friend, I could see how important she was to Bo. I also knew how important it was to have some sort of family when you had none before. "i think it would be a good idea, I will be tied up in classes for most of the time and I would feel better if you had someone around that you trusted." I sighed, Ethan was always in the back of my mind, Kenzi was street smart and would be an extra set of eyes and I was sure I could bribe the small girl to watch over Bo.

Bo squeezed my hand, "thank you, I know its a strange request." she looked at my eyes, "oh, what about your house?" I smiled at her, the house meant a tremendous amount to me and there was no way in hell I would ever get rid of it. "its mine, I own it. I wont ever sell it, because I know when I am old and grey I will want to spend the last of my days in that chair." I pulled Bo closer to me, "i am going to rent it out to Alex, he has been living in a one bedroom and he is like family to me. I know he will take care of it."

Bo placed a warm hand on my thigh, "i started my transfer paperwork after I sent you that message, Captain Jameson has agreed to help me get a spot on the metro detective division. He told me that it shouldn't be too hard even with my little experience I have here."

"you don't have to do this bo." I felt guilt wash over me. Bo moved her hand to rest on my stomach, making the little butterflies in it flutter, "i don't, but I want too." Bo scooted up, her hand leaving my stomach and moving to my chin, pulling me to look at her, "i want a life with you, not a police department or a city." she closed the small gap between us and kissed me. The butterflies in my stomach started fluttering to the point that they were going to push through my stomach.

My hands on my hips, I stared at the boxes on the floor. I was sweating more than I liked as I filled the boxes with all of my research books in my office. I was to leave in two days, the house had been packed up with the items I wanted to take to D.C. The rest I left for Alex who had begun moving in as I was moving out. Staring at the amount I still had left to take, I debated just leaving it all there. I wiped at my forehead, frowning more at how sweaty I was. It was a unusually warm end of summer day and the air conditioning in the station was struggling. I grumbled to myself and reached for another handful of psychology manuals. Dropping them into the box at my feet I heard a light knock on the door.

I turned to it and was met with a smile on the face of the tall auburn haired woman I had seen leaving Captain Jameson's office the day I retired. "Lieutenant Lewis, can I have a word with you? My name is Morgan Carlisle, well my formal title is Special Agent Morgan Carlisle, Unit chief of the BSU based out of Washington."

Running a hand through my hair, "i am retired, Agent Carlisle. Two days out from never having to be called Lieutenant again."

Agent Carlisle smiled, making her hazel eyes light up, "exactly why I am here to have a few words with you."

I closed my eyes, "what is it now."

**short chapter, but after reading some reviews, I was inspired. I kind of want to flesh out some of the supicions some of you may have. there is a twist coming and yes bad times are ahead for the ladies, I just had to lay down the foundation for what is to come and expand it so there will be a possible sequel that can be branched off of what happens next in these two. thanks to all of you and I will be working on strangers tomorrow. this story is easier to write because I have made it less complicated...go figure.**


	17. Chapter 17

the agent closed the door behind her as she moved the box on the chair so she could sit. Agent Carlisle looked around the office as she spoke, "I can understand your exasperation with the FBI, but I am here because I understand that you are retiring."

I pushed the box I was filling with my foot, shooting a look at the agent, "yes I am, in two days I am leaving the city and leaving my police past with it." I stopped and looked at all that I had left to do, sighed and sat down in my chair. "but I get the feeling you are here to offer me some sort of a job."

"in a way yes, but that is not exactly why I am here. I am here for the files Agent Sarah Cameron provided you. It appears she "borrowed" them and I need them back as we continue to look for her and her kidnapper."

"of course." I reached into the bottom drawer and pulled out the envelope that Sarah had put the files in, I set them on the desk, "how did you know that I was in possession of these case files and reports?"

Agent Carlisle picked up the envelope and dropped them into her briefcase, "i have sources." the woman crossed her legs, "now for that job offer. I understand that you are officially retired and that your classes start in a week." she paused, "Georgetown medical is quite impressive. But I also know that your mind is impressive and I would like to throw out an offer to do consultation work, as Agent Cameron was initially sent in to meet with you, but she became distracted."

I clenched my jaw, as the agent in front of me continued, "i am not asking you to pick up another badge and slide on a gun, but we do desperately need your help in locating Ethan and Agent Cameron. I can pay you a consultation fee to help with medical school."

"I have more than enough money to take care of my tuition." I came off harsh, I was tired of everyone around me trying to keep me holding onto a police badge.

Agent Carlisle raised her eyebrows and provided a smug smile, "fair enough, but I know other wise." her words had an edge as she continued, " What I am asking is that you use that brilliant profilers mind you carry and help out the FBI. It can be on your own terms and own time, I in turn can offer you a steady pay and protection until Ethan Carpenter is dealt with." the elegant woman had a steely gaze that was more intense than Sarah's ever had been, it seemed that the FBI made women unmoving when it came to interviews and interrogations. "I can also offer protection to your girlfriend. Because you and I both know, she is equally a focused target of Mr. Carpenters."

I took a deep breath to hold back the rage that was building, "i again, appreciate your offer, Agent." Carlisle cut me off, "think about it before you say no." The auburn haired woman, who the more I stared at her, was extremely attractive but extremely agitating, stood up and grabbed her briefcase, "enjoy your trip to d.c. I will be by to talk to you in couple weeks." she reached in her jacket and pulled out a business card, "this is my direct number, if you come to a decision that will appease us both, call me. As for the files, only law enforcement personnel will be allowed to view them." Agent Carlisle issued a hasty goodbye and left my office. I was sweating more now from the irritation and the broken air conditioning.

* * *

I sat and stewed for a while, wondering why it was that I was a constant focus of a federal agency. This whole ordeal started out as a local case then spiraled out of control. I knew that after the incident with Sarah I would be on the FBI radar, but it should be dissipating as I was leaving. I sat, staring out the window enjoying the sailboats for the last time when Bo walked in.

"you are going to miss that view more than anything else aren't you?" She was smiling and holding a ice tea that she offered to me. I nodded and smiled, "i truly am." bo walked over and kissed me, it was bold since the entire division could see in my office, but I no longer cared. Bo sat in the chair Agent Carlisle had just vacated, "So, how is it going with the packing, Lieutenant." she smirked as my formal title came out.

"it is going, I was interrupted just a bit ago by a visit from the FBI." I took a sip from the cold tea, the cool feel helping to cool me down entirely. Bo seemed to tense up when I mentioned that the FBI was in my office again, "oh, what did they want?"

"to bother me about becoming a consultant for them, an Agent Morgan Carlisle from the BSU. She wanted the files Sarah left for me back and then offered me a job that I was not allowed to say no to." I shook my head, "i just want to be a doctor. I want to hang up my gun and badge for a white lab coat."

Bo giggled, "hmmm. You in a white lab coat, I think I could get behind that as well." she sipped at her coffee as I blushed, "what kind of consultation work would it be?"

"profiler. Profiling Ethan completely and then possibly other serial killers and the such." I leaned forward on my desk, "she offered me quite a bit of money and protection for the both of us until Ethan is found."

Bo began to fidget, "i hate when he comes up, it reminds me how safe really aren't until that day he is caught." she met my eyes, "maybe you should take the offer? Aside from the protection, the extra money is an added bonus." I could see she was more focused on the protection aspect. "Lauren, you are really good at what you do. You are one of the best detectives I have ever seen and I know that you are incredible at profiling. Why not?" I felt as if Bo was pushing me to do it, it made me swallow hard. But as I stared at her, the brown eyes that I could not resist, my ultimate goal was to keep her safe. I held my hand out for her to take, when she did I smiled, "i will think about it after we get settled into the house."

Bo smiled and leaned over the desk to kiss me lightly, "that's all I am asking." she kissed me again, "i will be home later, the boys at the sixth are taking me out for my last day in the district." she stood up, "you can come if you want? Kenzi is stopping by."

I smiled and shook my head, "no, that is okay. I will wait for you at home. I would rather that I leave quietly, leave the ice queen behind in this office." I sighed, "this office that has way too much shit in it." Bo laughed, "you know the department has eased up on you since you were hurt, they actually all respect you. Maybe one or two of them will buy you a drink?" bo gave me a look that said think about it, "and as for the shit in here, leave it. You have ten tons of books packed up in the truck, maybe Alex will get bored and start reading these instead of those silly graphic novels he has stashed in his desk."

I smirked at her, "I will be a maybe on the joining you, and yes you are right, I will leave the rest for Alex."

Bo nodded, "I will call you later." she turned to walk out of the office, "oh, think about what Agent Carlisle offered." she smiled and left me with boxes and the heat. I sucked down the rest of my tea and called Alex to come help me move boxes.

* * *

Three months later.

"hotpants, how am I going to help you when I can barely pronounce the words on your flash cards?" Kenzi blinked at me as she held up a card with the word salpingo-oophorectomy in my messy handwriting on the card. I sighed as I looked at it, we were sitting in the living room of the rental house Bo and I moved in. I was three months into my first year of school and I was enjoying it but not use to this kind of overload. I had a exam in a few days and was cramming. Kenzi had become a bigger part of my life as she did indeed follow Bo and I to Virginia. She would just show up at the house and eventually I grew to like her and use her as a study partner when Bo was working.

"kenzi, just read the definition on the back, I will guess the word." I rubbed at my eyes, I was tired. Kenzi and I had been studying all day. "lets take a break for a little while." Kenzi jumped up from the chair and ran to the kitchen, "you guys still have leftover pizza in here?" She buried her head into the fridge digging for anything to eat. I had discovered that the tiny girl had the ability to eat more than a football team. I mumbled something as she found the leftovers.

I stretched and laid back on the couch, checking my phone for messages from Bo. Bo had transferred into the D.C. Metro police department and was assigned to the narcotics division until a spot in homicide came available. Bo was excelling at the job, she had the street smarts and knew how to talk to people, it also seemed to help that she was not looking at dead bodies on a daily basis. The house we were living in was smaller than my Chicago home, but it worked. It was in Richmond, allowing us to be close to the city but still live in a quiet suburb. Everything was beginning to seem perfect, the only thing that stood out strange was that at least once a week Kenzi and Bo would disappear on a Sundays for hours at time, claiming it was their best friend time. But when I tried to ask Bo about it at night she would just say that they went shopping, ate all day and the like. When I brought it up to Kenzi, she gave me a some strange explanation that it was a tradition and basically no boys or girls were allowed to the bestie club. I found it strange but I didn't want to upset Bo, she was starting to ease up and relax.

My mind drifted to Agent Carlisle, she had not been in contact with me since that last day in my office, but I would often flinch when the door bell rang, expecting the elegant, infuriating woman standing at my door waiting for my yes to the offer. I let out a breath and watched as Kenzi came back to the couch with a pile of cold pizza on a plate, "you want one hotpants?"

I shook my head, "i am glad you feel comfortable enough with me to call me strange nicknames." Kenzi flopped down and balanced the plate on her lap, "feel free to return the favor, but you can thank bobo for that particular nickname. She could not stop talking about how hot you looked in dress pants from the moment she laid her little peepers on you." Kenzi winked at me, "you definitely caught her by surprise, she kinda broke her own rules when it came to you."

I stared at the small girl, "what do you mean break her own rules?"

Kenzi was chomping, "never get involved with a..." she paused and I could see she was catching herself before she spilled, "um, never get involved with a boss." Kenzi smiled and batted her eyes, "i want some ice cream, you want some? Before we hit the big nerd words?"

"no, I think I am done for the night, I memorized all of these terms the first day. I am just being obsessive." I stared at Kenzi as she jumped up off the couch and pillaged the freezer. "kenzi, what do you mean never get involved with and I know you don't mean me as her boss." Kenzi paused her movements, then straightened up. Her eyes were written with panic, then they widened, "look who is home! bobo!"

I turned to see Bo walk in the door, still wearing her vest and police badge around her neck. She was dressed in loose fitting jeans and a t-shirt, "hey Kenz, Lauren." she dropped her large back on the floor, and headed towards me, "just finished up a raid on a drug house, twenty kilos of cocaine and a bunch of cash. It took forever to catalog the evidence and interview the jackasses in the house." Bo sat down in my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck, kissing me, "how was your day? Doctor." I smiled, "classes went fine, we started working on a cadaver and Kenzi and I were just finishing up studying."

Before Bo could say anything, Kenzi rushed into the living room grabbing her jacket, "yo bobo, hate to say hi and bye, but I need to get some laundry done." she shrugged her jacket on, "walk me out?" I watched as the two communicated silently, Bo slid off my lap and stood up, "sure thing." Kenzi walked out the front door, Bo leaned down and whispered, "i will be back in a minute, after my shower we can do strip flashcards." I couldn't contain my smile, I pulled her down for another kiss, "hurry up then."

Bo walked out closing the front door behind her. I waited a second and stood up, moving to the front window and peered out the edge of the curtain watching Bo and Kenzi talk. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but I could tell by their movements it was something intense. I caught Kenzi looking back into the house and Bo moving her hands from her hips to a folded position across her chest. After a few moments, Kenzi and Bo hugged, Kenzi dashing off to her tiny beat up car. I moved to sit back on the couch as Bo walked back into the house, smile back on her face. She pulled off her vest and set her gun on the side table, "i am going to go shower, then I will meet you in the bedroom?"

Smirking, "sounds like a plan, I will gather up my flashcards and be right up." Bo blew me a kiss and ran up the stairs. Gathering up all of my notes and study work, I heard the shower turn on and I hurried. I dropped everything in my bag and set it by the door. I looked down and sighed as Bo's vest and gear was as it lay. I picked up her vest and hung it in the closet. I then grabbed her bag with one hand, it was heavier than I anticipated and one end dropped, spilling some of her gear and a few files onto the floor. I shook my head as I knelt to floor. I shoved her gear back in her bag and reached for the files, most were some of the cases she was working on in the narcotics unit. Drug dealer rap sheets, informants, and request for surveillance forms all jammed together. I was silently thanking that I never had to look at this type of paperwork when my eyes fell on a familiar blue logo. I paused before pushing the other papers and file folders out of the way. My jaw clenched on its own accord when I saw the bright blue FBI logo. I quickly looked up the stairs, the shower was still running and Bo was quietly singing inside. I picked up the file with the FBI logo and held it, I scanned over the cover and saw nothing to prevent me from opening it up. Bo had not mentioned if she was working with the FBI or even the DEA, every night she would tell me what she was working on, obviously excited to be back on the streets in a street cop/detective capacity which overall suited her better than just being a homicide detective. I sat back on my heels and opened the file, my curiosity was killing me.

The front sheet was a basic letterhead from my second favorite FBI agent, Agent Carlisle. It was addressed to a Agent but the rest of the name was removed, blacked out like I had seen in spy movies to protect the identity of the agent in question. I continued on reading. It was a progress report on a undercover project that appeared to be going on for the last year or so. I read quickly over it, it was basic federal cop jargon. I flipped the page, my phone rang Alex's ringtone at the same time I saw my personnel information sheet from the Chicago Police department as well as the one that Sarah had created in the short time her and I interviewed. My heart began to race as my phone vibrated and rang around the coffee table. I would call Alex back, I flipped through the file, but there was pages missing, they had fallen out with the others when I dropped Bo's bag. I reached for the pile to search for what I could, then I heard the shower turn off. I paused and as Bo called my name, I began shoving her files back into her bag, while I ran and grabbed the phone answering it before it voicemail, "Alex hang on a second." I finished shoving the bag into the closet just as Bo came downstairs in a towel, "if that's Alex, tell him I said hi and I miss him." she winked at me and mouthed hurry up before turning and bouncing up the stairs.

My heart was pounding, "hey Alex, sorry about that."

"no worries, Lt." Alex had promised that he would never stop calling me Lt, it was just his way to keep me close, "you alone?" the tone in his voice worried me.

"yea, Bo is upstairs getting ready for bed." I kept my eyes on the closet, I wanted to dig into that bag further to find the missing pages and know why my personnel file was in the hansd of the FBI and my girlfriend.

I could hear Alex smile his pervy smile, "ooh, am I interrupting something?"

"not yet, but if you don't hurry up, I will hang up on you."

"ok, ok. This really isn't a social call, I got word through the grapevine and my contacts. Ethan was spotted on the Kentucky, west Virginia border. A local sheriff spotted him as he tried to get gas at a truck stop. The sheriff tried to pull the car over, a chase started, but Ethan and his companion escaped."

the need to vomit struck me, "a companion?"

"yea, they cant get a good ID off the truck stops security cameras to determine if its male or female or let alone a face to run facial recognition." Alex sighed hard and I heard the creak of my leather couch in the background.

"how do you know its Ethan?"

"the fucker made sure his face was seen on camera, multiple times. He still has a limp but appears to be back in action. I fear he is headed for you, it pisses me off that I cannot do much. I called the metro chief and informed her of what the deal was, she promised to attach units to you and bo, discreetly."

I ran a hand through my hair, "its not necessary, he will by pass them even if they were sitting on my lap." I walked around the living room, to my desk that was pressed into the one corner of the living room. Pulling open the drawer, I looked down at my gun. Loaded and ready, it had sat in the drawer since the moment the desk was placed there. "don't tell Bo about this." I picked up the gun, holding it in my right hand. It felt foreign but I could actually grip the gun without too much pain. "keep me updated if you hear anything more. But in a strange way I want him to come for me, because this time I will be ready."

"Jesus, Lauren, you sound like john mcClane..."

I laughed, "you really love those movies, how many of the posters are hanging in my office?"

"its my office, and all four movies are gracing the walls of MY office. I figured since I didn't get lieutenant no one would yell at me for spicing up the walls." Alex sighed, "I would feel better if you would let the locals watch you."

I shook my head, "i don't want any more dead bodies because of me. He will kill to get to me, I would rather leave him a clear path. AS morbid as that sounds." I looked up as I heard Bo call me again, "Alex I have to go, but can you maybe do me a favor."

"anything Lieutenant."

"can you send me Bo's full police record over to me? I want to try and pull some strings to get her out of narcotics and maybe into vice. She always smells like weed when she comes home." I was covering up the fact that my instincts were telling me something and I needed to keep it quiet.

"ha-ha sure thing, how are you two doing?"

"living the domestic dream, a cop and a medical student. Kind of like the plot to that one porno dvd you have stashed in the bottom of your desk." I smiled as I heard Alex choke on whatever it was he was drinking. "goodbye Alex."

I hung up and set my cell phone down. I slid my gun back into its holster, dropping it into my bag, I took it up to the bedroom where Bo was waiting for me wearing nothing but my flashcards.

* * *

Two days later as I sat alone in the library at school. I had finished up my afternoon class and had a late night study session with my lab partners in the cadaver lab. I choose a private booth and sat down, I pulled out what Alex had sent me over. Bo's complete police record at Chicago. I never got a chance to get back to her bag, she had taken it to work with her the next morning and left it there. Bo seemed a little different when she came home that next night, when I asked her about it, she just said she was tired, then she called Kenzi, the two disappeared for drinks as I headed in for my evening class.

I loved Bo very much, was falling deeper in love with her more as we lived together and she was showing signs of being happy. But there was something eating at my gut that I had to sort out, I no longer had any contacts in the FBI aside from Agent Carlisle, but I knew the moment I called her she would pounce on me, shoving the job offer into my face. I trusted Bo, but there was something in that FBI file in her bag that was begging me to look deeper, I wanted to straight up ask bo, but the cop in me wanted to gather a little more Intel before I laid it all out.

The police record stared at me until I picked up the front page and began reading it. Bo Dennis was a very straight forward police officer. Hired two years after I was, excelled at road work. Received one commendation for saving a fellow officer after a shootout. The rest of her record seemed pretty standard. She took the detective test and did almost match my score but fell five points short. Bo was well liked by her supervisors and coworkers. I could not find anything suspicious in her record, which in itself was suspicious. My police record was dotted with commendations and complaints, every cop had at least one or two citizen complaints. I read over her resume and application that Alex had graciously included, that's when I found something off.

Alex had written a note on the application, "i did some digging and it seems Bo had applied to the FBI two years ago. She went through the full interview process and all that, was not selected for further consideration. Bo took a four month leave of absence, seem losing the FBI devastated her and she wanted to take time to rethink her career." Alex then circled the date she moved to the homicide division, it was right after she returned from her leave of absence.

I stared at the pages blankly, there was something extremely odd. It made sense that bo had been shaken by being rejected, moving to the homicide division for a new lease on her career, she was tentative and new while I was her FTO. My brain was working, in detective mode. I scribbled some notes and texted Bo that I wanted to talk to her after my study session.

I collected my things, stuffing them into my bag. As I did my fingers lightly grazed the edge of my gun. I sighed, I had been carrying it with me now that Alex told me that Ethan was moving closer. I left the library and moved down to the basement cadaver lab. As usual I was the first one there, I looked at the clock, the rest of my lab partners would not arrive until at least eight thirty. Everyone in my group hated the night study sessions, and most would should up with beer on their breath and agitated that I was already set up and impatiently waiting for them. The ice queen was about to make her appearance as I set my bag down and began to pull on my lab coat.

I walked to our cadaver and began pulling the plastic sheet back, exposing the work we had done the day before in class. Sat with my notes reviewing and glancing up at the clock, it was now a quarter to nine and the lab was silent, just the rustle of my notes. I rolled the stool I was on to my bag, I dug for my cell phone to call the rest of the group. As my fingers wrapped around the phone the entire lab went dark.

My cell phone offered the only light in the dark, and now incredibly eerie room. I tried dialing, but the thick ancient walls of the basement prevented any signal. I had a sinking feeling wash over me, I reached back into the bag and grabbed the gun I kept, slipping it into the pocket of my lab coat. Standing up, using the cell phone as a light I walked to the door, flicking the light switch on and off. Nothing. I then reached for the door knob and found that it was locked.

"should I start calling you doctor now Lauren? Or do you still respond to lieutenant."

my hand jammed into my pocket as I wrapped fingers around the gun, "how do you always manage to find me?" I turned in the dark, facing the direction of Ethan's voice.

"it honestly is not that hard when you have a federal agent at your disposal. You see, my sister still has access to all of the databases necessary to track someone When coerced, she usually gives me what I ask for." Ethan's voice was steadier than the last time I spoke to him, he was at the other end of the cadaver lab, his voice carrying over the cold, concrete room. His soft footsteps echoed as he moved. "if you are worried about my sister, don't be. She is still alive, but not for long. As soon as I finish you, she will be next. But I had to keep her alive so I could keep track of you." Ethan paused, "i don't like this talking in the dark, it reminds me of the days in St. Mary Francis when they would forget to pay the electrical bill." I heard a hard click and the lights came back on, it took a minute for my eyes to focus.

When they did I looked straight at Ethan, sitting on a stool, spinning around with a grin on his face. "ah, much better." he stopped his spin, cocked his head and looked at me, "you look different, Lauren. Healthy and dare I say happy?" he smiled as he rolled the stool to a table, leaning on the edge and playing with the plastic covering a cadaver. "I don't think I have ever seen you happy, it does look good on you. I hate that I have to ruin it, though."

"i promised I would kill you, and I will."

Ethan laughed, "promises, promises, it seems I am the only one who ever follows through on promises made." Ethan sighed and stood up, reaching behind his back and pulling out a large knife. "but before we get started, I want to tell you a story." he smiled his evil grin, "i got a kick out of it when my dear sweet sister told me, it was actually my inspiration to come to you. I did want to wait a little while longer. Maybe wait until you were closer to becoming a doctor, I had it all planned out I would wait until your graduation day. Make it a night to remember." Ethan sighed lightly, "but then Sarah spilled the beans one very painful night for her." he then looked me dead in the eyes, "how is your lovely little girlfriend, Bo, by the way."

I clenched my jaw and gripped the gun tighter, walking slowly as I moved closer to Ethan. "you leave her out of this, its just you and I." I was trying to fight the fear I held and move into action of killing this man for once and all.

Ethan took slow, jovial steps to me, "oh this is going to be fun, do you even know who you sleep with at night? Like really know her?" Ethan was balancing the knife in his hands, "by the look on your face I think you don't."

"i know who my girlfriend is, someone you almost killed and will be paying for." I hissed at him as I pulled the gun out and pointed it at him.

Ethan frowned and paused, "not this again, I wish we could do this the gentlemanly way."

I aimed the gun at him, pointing at his head, "this ends now."

Ethan laughed, "stealing my own catch phrases, you are adorable my dear Lauren. But you know better." Ethan moved quickly as I fired the first shot, hearing it ping off the steel walls followed by the lights flickering. The sound of the shot ringing off the steel walls was loud in my ears, and I didn't hear Ethan move close to me until I was knocked to the ground. The gun kicked out of my hand, making me groan as the still healing arm twinge in pain. I scrambled to get up when I felt a heavy boot kick me in the back, dropping me to the ground, "when will you learn, Lauren. I will always be faster and smarter than you."

the lights flickered back on and Ethan was standing over me, before I could react his hands shot down and jabbed two scalpels into my legs, making me scream out in pain and lose feeling in my legs, he had slice deep, numbing my legs temporarily. He laughed as he watched me try and pull the scalpels out, "you aren't the only one who has been studying medicine. Its fascinating how one small nick can keep a person down."

Ethan walked over me and yanked my arms behind my back, dragging me to an empty cadaver table. I tried fighting him, but he pressed on my wrist and I was riddled with pain. He quickly handcuffed me, before dragging me up onto the steel table. He was careful to avoid my attempts to head-butt him, laughing again, "come on now, Lauren, you need to learn better moves." he strapped me down the steel table and watched me writhe around in anger. "I will fucking kill you."

Ethan smiled and picked up my gun, setting it on my stomach, "feel free too. I will leave this here for you as incentive. But in the meantime, I need to finish my story that you so rudely interrupted. I so want to see your face as you find out, once again, you have been betrayed by the one you love."

"bo would not betray me, stop trying to get in my head." I kept wiggling on the table, tying to slid my hands out of the handcuffs.

Ethan grabbed a stool and pulled it over to the table, sitting on it and staring at me, "you trust too easily, Lauren. You trust that I would not know you had a gun in your pocket, that it would be hard for me to find you, that you would be safe in the basement of a empty medical school that has been closed for the evening for cleaning." Ethan smiled, "people will follow signs like lemmings." he took a spin on the stool, "and lastly you trust that the woman you love has no secrets at all, that her ineptitude as a police officer is just that, and not a cover up."

I stared at him, "shut up. All you know is lies."

"oh really! Well I guess that file you found in sweet Bo's bag from the FBI has nothing to do with you, her strange leave of absence from the Chicago department was just that, and I bet you even believe that her name is actually Bo Dennis." he raised his eyebrows at me as he saw me swallow hard, "i can see it, so I will answer it. How do I know these small things? Sarah. Sarah is a fountain of knowledge that I tapped into." Ethan leaned closer to me, "your dear, sweet, girlfriend is not who she seems."

I stared at Ethan hard as I felt my hand slid out of the one handcuff, "I will kill you."

Ethan stood up and rolled his eyes, "i am tired of this, you never want to listen to me when I want to tell you something important." he reached down to the slash in my thigh and dug his thumb into it, pulling a shriek of pain out of me, "a shame, now you will die knowing nothing." Ethan shrugged, "I do hate cliffhangers." he reached for his knife, his thumb still digging into my thigh. I couldn't breathe and was crying from the pain he was inflicting. "my final goodbye to you Lauren, I will make sure Ysabeau knows how you died when I visit her next."

I met his eyes, I didn't know who he was talking about. He saw the confusion in my eyes and smiled wider, bringing the knife to my throat, "lets be quick about this, this time around, shall we?"

I went to move to grab his hand when I heard the lab door crash open, Ethan looked up, giving me a chance to move and punch him hard across the face, throwing him across and against the steel cadaver table across from us. The motion had made my gun slide off me and crash too the floor, skittering across the floor. I didn't waste time looking at what forced the door open, I busied with trying to unbind myself, that's when I heard Bo's voice screaming.

"you move and I shoot. Drop the knife."

I looked and saw Bo, gun aimed at Ethan. The intensity in her eyes frightened me, she never once looked my direction. Ethan's smile grew wide, "ah, finally the good agent arrives to save the day." Ethan stood up, rubbing at his jaw then looking at me, "shall I make the introductions?." he looked at Bo, "Lauren, I present to you Special Agent Ysabeau McCorrigan. FBI."

I looked from Ethan to Bo and saw her flinch as Ethan spoke, but she never broke her gaze. "one last warning." I could not pull my eyes from Bo as my stomach rolled, things were slowly coming together in my head. Making my heart hurt. I also watched as his eyes found my gun on the floor and he inched towards it.

Ethan rolled his eyes, "you agents and your warnings. Its annoying." Ethan shook his head and acted quickly, he threw the knife at Bo, bending to grab my gun. she pulled the trigger. A handful of shots rang out as I watched them hit Ethan. All of them hit their mark, all were fatal. Ethan crumbled to the floor.

The air was thick with the smell of blood and gunpowder. Bo lowered her gun and looked at her stomach. Ethan had hit her in the stomach with the knife, she pulled it out with a groan and quickly covered the wound with her hand. She stumbled as she walked to me, setting the gun down she untied me from the table. I immediately went to cover her wound with my hands, looking down at Ethan as Bo leaned into me, "is he?"

Bo swallowed, "very much so, eight shots all hit their mark." she steadied herself on the table, as I looked and saw that she was right, Ethan had one fatal shot to the head, his cool blue eyes open and lifeless as he stared at the ceiling.

I ripped off my lab coat and balled it up, pressing it against Bo's stomach. "we have to call help." Bo nodded weakly and looked behind her as Kenzi ran into the room, shouting with a gun in her hand and a gold badge flopping against her chest, "Jesus Christ bo, I told you to wait for my signal." she paused as she looked at Ethan's body on the floor, then too Bo. She saw the blood and ran over to us, "shit, shit, shit. He shoot you?"

Bo shook her head, she looked woozy. Kenzi held onto her as she pulled out a cellphone, "yo, yea all clear. We got one fatal, one agent injured, and Lewis is injured. we need a bus now. Send the guys in." she slammed her phone down and helped Bo sit on a stool. Kenzi looked at me, "Can you walk?"

"I think so." I slid off the table, I was able to stand even though there was an immense amount of pain from the slashes on my thighs and where Ethan had dug into the wound. Kenzi nodded, "I am gonna take Bo out, okay? There will be a bunch of dudes in black swarming in here in about thirty seconds."

I could not hear what Kenzi was saying, I moved to stand over Ethan. Staring at his lifeless body, I knelt down, forcing through the pain. I reached forward and checked his pulse, there was none. I took a breath and whispered, "it might have not been me, but I promise fulfilled." I stared at him a little longer, before I felt Kenzi grab my arm, "hotpants, help me with Bo. We need to get her to an ambulance."

I stood up wincing and looked down at the gold badge Kenzi was wearing, it had FBI on it. I met her eyes and she smiled weakly, "we have a lot to talk about, bo too. But first we gotta make sure she survives this."

I said nothing as I helped Kenzi roll Bo out on the stool to the paramedics that were racing in. They scooped Bo up in a heartbeat, dropping her on a stretcher, she was on the verge of passing out but opened her eyes as Kenzi whispered something. Our eyes met, she tried to smile as tears formed. My view was suddenly cut off by a paramedic in my face.

I was placed on another stretcher, my thighs were bandaged and an IV was being jammed into my arm. I looked past the paramedics and watched as a crew of techs in blue jackets, FBI in big yellow letters on the back, placed Ethan's body in a bag and hoisted him on a stretcher. I continued to stare until the body was rolled out of the lab and my eyes caught Agent Carlisle standing off to the side talking to Kenzi. She caught my eyes and excused herself from Kenzi and walked over to me.

"Lieutenant Lewis, Ethan Carpenter is dead, for good this time."

I winced as my former rank fell out of her mouth with ease, "who is bo?"

Agent Carlisle looked down at her folded arms, "there is a lot we have to discuss with you, but I will tell you this much. Bo Dennis is actually Special Agent Ysabeau McCorrigan. She is part of the undercover unit attached to the BSU." she nodded at Kenzi who was now talking to other agents, "Kenzi is also a Special Agent, Bo's partner for the last couple of years."

tears were rolling up in my eyes, "how and why." I could feel my heart break at the thought that the woman I was hopelessly in love with, was not who I thought she was.

Agent Carlisle sighed hard, "like I said we have a lot to talk about, but first you need to go to the hospital." Carlisle motioned to the paramedics to roll me away, I reached out and grabbed her arm, "is bo..."

"she is alive and they have her stabilized. She saved you life, in more ways than one." Carlisle motioned again and I was rolled away. Shoved into the back of an ambulance, the last sight was Ethan's black bagged body rolled into a plain white van. My nightmare had finally ended but now I was faced with so much more. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall, looking at my hands that were stained with Bo's blood.

**More to come as usual, I think maybe two more chapters to sort out this whole new revelation, and then setting it up for a sequel down the road with these ladies. Reviewssss are appreciated!**


	18. Chapter 18

I sat on the edge of the bathtub in the rental house, staring down at the bandages around my thighs. It had been a week since Ethan was killed. I had spent a night in the hospital before I, once again, checked myself out and took a cab home. I did obligingly take the cane that was offered to me since the slashes in my legs were making it difficult for me to properly bend and walk without looking like a robot. I was frustrated beyond reason, I was carrying more scars and wounds from Ethan, I had froze once again in pulling the trigger when face to face with Ethan, a irrational fear I would never understand now.

It had been a week since Ethan cornered me, a week since I watched him die in front of my eyes, a week since it was revealed to me that the woman I loved was not who I thought she was. I had not seen Bo since we were carted off in different ambulances, I saw Kenzi for a few minutes after my thighs were cleaned and stitched up. She apologized profusely until she was pulled away by another agent. Alex called, worried as ever and two days later he showed up at my doorstep, being the big brother he could not help but be. I asked about Bo once, while I was filling out my discharge papers, the nurse smiled and only told me that she was doing fine. I tried to go and see her, but when I stepped around the corner, I saw Agent Carlisle standing next to Bo, they were obviously talking about what went down. Bo's face was wracked with emotion, too many for me to place on exactly what she was feeling. I looked at her for a moment, my heart tightening up at who I was looking at. I felt tears as I could not shake the feeling I had been lied too, used and once again left with a broken heart.

A shiver ran through my body, I had just gotten out of the shower, half dressing myself. I was still sitting on the edge of the bathtub, wearing my blue button down shirt. Pausing halfway through the buttons as my mind drifted away. A soft knock on the door, dredged me from the spiraling thoughts I was in.

"Lauren? You okay?" Alex trying to give me privacy as he spoke through the door.

"uh, yea. I am almost done in here." I stood up and buckled a little, I frowned. I had to have Alex help me here and there as my legs were stiff and sore. It was embarrassing when I needed help, especially from Alex, but he never said a word as he held me up or helped me put pants on.

"if you need help, shout." Alex's footsteps took him away from the door. I reached over and grabbed the grey dress pants sitting on the edge of the sink. Alex was driving me down to the FBI headquarters to meet with Agent Carlisle for my final debriefing, well what I hoped to be my final debriefing with the federal agent. It was a small victory when I was able to pull my pants on and be able to get myself ready. I pulled my still damp hair back into a ponytail and exited the bathroom, using my cane I felt like an old frail woman.

Alex was waiting for me as I descended the stairs, he smiled, "looking good Lt." I gave him a blank stare, I was not in the mood for much lately, I would crawl into bed and sleep. The semester was lost for me, it was hard to miss days in medical school, even after the university offered to keep me on until I felt better. They told me that with my IQ, I was already six months ahead of the rest of the class. I politely declined, I could not deal with standing in the cadaver lab after what happened. It wasn't the fact that Ethan had died in the room or that I had been beaten down once again, it was the amount of betrayal and lies that echoed in that room.

I took Alex's hand as he helped me down the rest of the stairs, he said nothing as he handed me my matching grey jacket and held my bag. "ready?" through a clenched jaw, to hold back tears, I nodded and slowly followed him to the car.

"Lt. You okay?" Alex looked sideways at me as he navigated through traffic. He had yet to ask me that, which is why I appreciated him being with me. He never really picked or dug when I was hurt, sad or emotionally broken, he would sit and just wait with me. My parents wanted to come down and sit with me, but Alex ran interference for me, telling them he would take care of me. Honestly, I didn't want anyone to bother me, but Alex was the only one I could tolerate at the moment. I was looking out the window, staring at the hills and old houses the suburbs of Richmond held, "you already know what I am going to say."

"i know, but I have to ask." he paused and finally it said it, "she really loves you. I know, because she told me."

I glared at him and returned my stare to the freeway we just entered. "Lauren, I am serious. We talked a lot while you were in the hospital. She never left your side, Bo was always there, always asked about you even after she transferred out. I can see it in her eyes, she truly loves you. Regardless if she was working undercover, her feelings for you were real."

through clenched teeth, "or she is one of the best actors in the world, I really don't want to talk about this Alex."

Alex nodded, biting the inside of his cheek, "for what its worth, Lauren. Even a blind man could see she was, is, in love with you."

"shut up Alex."

I could see his jaw twitch, "yes ma am."

we did not speak the rest of the ride to the beige federal building.

* * *

Alex was allowed to walk with me until I was standing in front of Agent Carlisle's office, he was then quietly ushered away after telling me he would be waiting in the lobby for me. I was then left with a secretary who helped me inside a side conference room "Ms. Lewis, please have a seat. They will be with you in a minute." I smiled tightly and nodded as I eased myself into a seat in the large room. I spun myself around so I could look out the large, floor to ceiling windows that peered out into the bustling streets below. My head hurt and was blank, I had too much emotion and thoughts in my mind that it eventually went blank and I felt nothing. I zoned out, watching the traffic patterns of cars and pedestrians.

I heard the door push open, I moved around in my chair to see Agent  
Carlisle walk in with a briefcase closely followed by a young male, who looked to be her assistant. "good morning, Ms. Lewis." Agent Carlisle offered a warm smile but I nodded as she sat across from me. She flipped open the files that the young man handed to her, "we will get started in a few minutes when the others arrive." She looked up at me, "would you like anything? Water? Coffee? I can have john here grab anything you need." Carlisle's tone was easier than it ever had been, she seem kind or at least wanted to appear kind.

"water would be fine."

Carlisle motioned to her assistant, who hopped up and started pouring water in glasses. He set one in front of me gently, offering a warm smile. I went to open my mouth to say something when the door opened again, Kenzi walked in wearing a black pantsuit, red shirt underneath and her hair was pulled up, I couldn't help but stare for a moment. I had only ever seen the girl in ratty emo Goth clothes, and now she was sitting next to Carlisle looking like the professional she really was. the small girl was truly stunning when not coated in black eyeliner and skull patterns. Kenzi smiled at me, throwing me one of her winks and mouthing a hello. I nodded at her, a small smile pulling at the corners of my mouth. I was not necessarily mad at her, amazed that she was a undercover agent, but not mad because she had done nothing but become a friend, maybe under false pretenses, but I could see in the girls eyes she was not hiding anything from me other than she had a job too do.

The door creaked open and when I looked up, my heart dropped into my stomach, hard. Bo walked in slowly. She was dressed in a dark grey pantsuit, her hair up in a similar fashion as Kenzis and when her eyes met mine, she paused at the door, the intensity of our stare added to the tension in the room. Kenzi cleared her throat and waved her to take a seat. Bo broke from my eyes and sat quickly in the chair, wincing a little as she sat. Bo and I had not spoken since we were in the basement, I could tell she was still healing from the knife wound as she moved gingerly in her seat.

Agent Carlisle folded her hands, "okay, now that we are all here. Lets start." she motioned to john to hit the record button on the small recorder he set in the middle of the table, he stated speaking in a even tone, "this is the final debriefing for UC operation eclipse. In attendance is Special Agent Morgan Carlisle Unit chief of BSU, Special Agent John Athens, administrative assistant to Agent Carlisle, Special Agent Kenzi McAdams, Special Agent Ysabeau McCorrigan and lastly Retired Detective Lieutenant Lauren Lewis of the Chicago Police department."

I looked down at the swirls in the large maple table I set my arms on, I stopped paying attention as I heard Bo's name again. Sending shooting pains in my heart. It took me a minute to focus on what Carlisle was saying, "Ms. Lewis, I understand that you may have some questions and concerns about what exactly this is all about."

"that is quite an understatement." I glared hard at Carlisle.

She just smiled and leaned in her chair, "operation eclipse was set up about a year or so ago, we had leaks in the BSU unit that needed plugging. We know now that it was because of Agent Sarah Cameron, also know as Catherine Carpenter." Carlisle picked up page from the file in front of her, "it appears she had been using federal resources to track down her brother after the horrible murder of her wife. She actually knew about you before Ethan did, she took it upon herself to start tracking you down, knowing that you would be the one thing Ethan could not resist." she set pages aside, "it was determined during this time that we would send in undercover agents to work with you and watch you as you were used as bait by agent Cameron, we had to utilize you to draw Cameron out as well."

Carlisle looked up at me, "you have to understand, the FBI has been hunting Ethan Carpenter for close to ten years. Agent Cameron understood the significance you held and became obsessed in her revenge." Carlisle motioned to Bo and Kenzi, "that is when Agent McAdams and Agent McCorrigan were assigned to you. Agent McCorrigan was a perfect fit, she had already worked in the Chicago police department and was familiar with you, it was a easy integration. Agent McAdams was backup."

my eyes focused on Bo's, she could not hold my gaze for long without looking away. I could see tears begging to fall. I kept my eyes on her, "why did you go through this much trouble, you could have easily come to me and asked for my help. Kind of like Agent Cameron did, I would have eagerly helped, it would have saved me a couple trips to the hospital and maybe three people would still be alive." I turned my focus to Carlisle, "this was all unnecessary, two agents were almost killed, and my trust and love was compromised to a degree that I may never get it back. You strung it out like a bad cop movie, leaving bread crumbs for the killer to find me so you could trap him." I caught Kenzi try and calm bo down by squeezing her thigh, my words hit exactly where I wanted them too.

Carlisle pulled out another page, "we had no idea where Ethan was, Agent Cameron was an incredible agent and made it difficult for us to track her movements, it was easier and prove to be beneficial to stick a undercover agent with you. McAdams and McCorrigan are two of my best UC agents. It has been proven, Ethan is dead and I have collected enough evidence to tie him to other cases."

"so you admit that you used me."

"not at all Ms. Lewis, we tried to bring you in, but you were very resilient and feelings got in the way." Carlisle shot a side look at Bo. "we had you under quiet surveillance for the last year and a half when Agent Cameron discovered you were a foster child with Ethan, unbeknownst to us. I had sent her into you to pull you into the agency and hopefully end the operation, with you in our employ and working with us. Sadly she did not do that and it was Agent Cameron who brought him to you, we were just keeping watch over you until it was necessary to plant agents with you, for your protection. Ethan moved faster than we expected, resulting in Agent Cameron's kidnapping and Agent McCorrigans injuries, all unexpected occurrences." Carlisle sighed, "then agent Cameron was compromised and began sharing classified information with Ethan, that's how he found you so quickly, Cameron had provided him with details of operation eclipse and who agent mcCorrigan was, it all led to the standoff in the medical college. We were able to pick up his intentions when an anonymous caller left a voicemail on agent McAdams cell phone."

I laughed, "my protection? Really, it was one of your agents who brought this monster back into my life. I was living a very quiet life." I turned to Bo, "and the feelings that got in the way, was that all just bullshit too? Just a way to keep tabs on me? The bumbling rookie detective act, that was obviously an act as well."

Bo spoke softly, "the feelings were true."

I laughed again, "fuck they were." I turned back to Carlisle, "you should be ashamed of yourself, whoring out an agent to get under my skin and into my bed so that you could make the nab of the century and bring down a serial killer and his insane sister." I pushed myself up from the chair, wincing as my legs wanted nothing to do with it, "fuck you, I almost died chasing this bastard you brought into my life." I pointed at Bo, "she almost died, unless that was a orchestrated plan of yours."

Kenzi stood up to yell at me, "that was real hotpants, all of it." her unprofessional outburst made Carlisle cringe, "Agent, sit down." Carlisle glared at Kenzi, who kept a hard stare at me until she dropped back in her seat. Bo was quiet the whole time. "Agent McAdams and Agent McCorrigan did save your life and kill that man, Ms. Lewis. If it hadn't been for them and their quick action, I fear I may be reviewing your own murder." Carlisle had an edge to her tone that made me angry.

"I am done here, fuck all of you." I looked Bo dead in the eye, "especially you, Ysabeau." her name, every syllable came out with poison laced around it. You knew me, you knew my life and you played my heart so I would trust you, you played me until I thought that my heart had returned to me, you used the pain of losing Elle to gain advantage, for what? All for a stupid fucking agency to catch a serial killer that if you just asked me I would have caught him without leaving a trail of bodies behind. You told me you loved me, fell in love with me. That's all lies now, isn't it."

I snatched at my cane, dipping slowly to grab my bag, walking past the four agents sitting I stopped and stood behind bo, who was trembling but would not look at me, even as I reached past her, brushing her arm, shutting off the recorder before I spoke in a hard whisper "I did love you, whoever you are, I loved you more than I could ever imagine." I took a breath, "fuck you for lying to me and breaking my god damn heart." I walked out of the conference room as Kenzi hopped up trying to defend her best friend, I walked away as the small girl half sputtered at me in Russian and English.

I had to lean against the wall as I waited for the elevator, I was on the verge of losing it in a tearful rage. I had not been this angry, not even when I lost Elle. I had been lied too, used and worst of all I opened my heart to Bo and she filled it with lies. The soft click of heels on the tile floor were followed by Bo's voice, shaking with tears threatening to choke her, "Lauren, please. Let me explain."

I closed my eyes, leaning on my cane, "let me go, Agent."

"no. not until you hear me out." I could feel her move closer to me, I stepped closer to the wall, praying for the elevator to hurry up.

"i think I heard enough." I turned to look at her, Bo looked worn and pale, "you really aren't a inept rookie detective, are you." I began flashing through the memories of how Bo would be bumbling and such a green rookie, then turn around and surprise me with shining moments of impressive detective work that only came with training and experience. I frowned realizing that she had definitely pulled the wool over my eyes when I began to fall for her. Trading my normal sensibility with the feeling of loving again.

Bo shook her head, "no, I was recruited out of the department after the shooting where I received a commendation for. I was pulled into the UC unit by Agent Carlisle and assigned to you." Bo paused and cringed as she said assigned, "I don't mean it like that..."

"I could see through the bumbling when you had immense moments of shining brilliance on scenes." I heard the ding of the elevator arriving, "you are quite the actor, maybe you should leave police work and become an actress." I moved into the elevator, the doors started to shut. Bo quickly stood between them, stopping the doors, she looked at me with brown eyes filled with so much sadness, "Lauren, everything that happened between you and I, that was real. I fell in love with you, fought it so hard because I knew it wasn't right, to get involved so deeply with you." the doors pushed at her, begging to close and I was silently begging with them, "it wasn't a game for me, it was real, what I felt for you and still feel for you is real." she stared at me as I felt my jaw tighten.

I took a breath, "can you move out of the way so I can leave." I stared hard at her, watching as she let go of the tears she was holding. They fell slowly as she stepped back, whispering, "i love you, Lauren." the doors closed, cutting off my view from her. I went blank as I let the elevator carry me down to the lobby.

I didn't stop as I walked past Alex, "we are leaving now." Alex had to jog after me. We said nothing in the car ride back to the house.

I stripped off my jacket and threw it on the floor in a ball. Alex came from the kitchen, "whoa, Lauren. You good?"

I stared at him and finally let go, letting the sobs pour out of me. I shook my head as I leaned on the arm of the couch, Alex was quick to embrace me. Holding me tightly, "let it out, Lauren. You need too." and I did.

* * *

It hurt to move when I woke up on the couch, a blanket was gently placed over me. I was still wearing the outfit I wore to the debriefing, and as I stretched to get up I felt pain everywhere. I rubbed my face, and looked at the coffee table. There was a bowl and a box of cereal and a note, "Eat Lauren, you need too. I will be back, at the gym. Alex"

the cereal box went untouched, I walked past the coffee table and slowly tackled the stairs up to my bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed and stripped off my pants, cringing as I saw that my bandages needed changing. I pulled off my shirt and threw it on the floor. I leaned forward on my knees, holding my head. I wanted to cry, but I had cried myself empty the night before. I scrubbed at my face and looked around the room, Bo's presence was still in the house. Her abandoned clothes in the closet, a picture of us on the dresser. I stood up and moved to the closet, dragging out one of her duffle bags and started pulling down and dropping her clothes in the bag. I picked up the picture of us from my last day in the Chicago office, smiling and happy to be starting a new life. I turned it face down and placed it on top of the random t-shirts, black jeans and leather jackets. I stared at it before turning to hobble to the bathroom, starting the shower.

Back to sitting on the edge of the bathtub I busied myself with bandaging my thighs up, I was tired and could see the steam radiating off my body from the intense hot shower I just took. I heard the front door open and heard Alex drop his keys on the table. I dried myself off and pulled on a old comfy t-shirt and held onto the edge of the sink to aid in pulling myself up. I heard Alex coming into the bedroom, "before you ask I am fine, I will be down in a minute." I pulled up and twisted the wrong way, sending a jolt of pain through my leg, I lost my balance and began to fall.

I didn't hit the floor like I expected, two very familiar strong arms caught me and pulled me close, "Lauren, you should really learn to be more careful in bathrooms." Bo's voice was gentle and shaky as she held me close, I could feel her heart pound as hard as mine.

I grabbed the sink edge and pulled out of her arms, "how did you get in..." it was a stupid question, this was her house too at one point.

**More to come, a good old yelling match to come and then who knows...**


	19. Chapter 19

Bo stepped back as soon as she saw that I was steady on my own, her drifted and saw that I was still pant less and looked up at the bathroom ceiling as I sat down on the toilet to to pull my sweat pants on. "I still have keys."

I struggled to get dressed, Bo took a step out of instinct to help me, then saw the look in my eyes, "i thought...i didn't think you would be home, I...came over to grab my things." she was stumbling over her words, then she closed her eyes tightly, "Actually, I was hoping you would still be here."

I snapped at her, "where else would I be?" bo flinched at my hard tone, she looked at me softly, "home. Chicago. Alex told me that you were talking about it, moving back."

"i would appreciate it if you avoided asking my friends about my intentions." I stood back up and hobbled out of the bathroom, careful to avoid bo, touching her in any way. I snatched my cane and poked at her duffle bag as I walked past it, "i took care of the closet. I am not sure what else is yours, but you can take care of what you need, Alex will be back in a few minutes and I will have him take me somewhere, anywhere but here." the last part came out as a whisper. My words were edged and sharp, I could see how deep they cut when I turned to look at Bo. Her arms were folded tight against her chest and she was visibly biting the inside of her cheek to check the emotions that I knew were swirling in her. She swallowed hard before she spoke, "Lauren, I need to tell you the things I couldn't in that conference room."

"Are they the same things you could not tell me while we laid in bed together, professing our undying love for each other? Or while you gathered up Intel on me every moment of every day you were with me, to take back to your special agents?"

"Lauren, that's not fair."

I cut her off, I was now yelling, "what's not fair is that you got to me, you are quite persuasive, I will give you that. But you got to me, completely. Made me lose my sensibilities, I became ignorant to what my intelligence wanted to dig deeper at. I am a profiler, I can see through the worst and best, and yet I could not see under the façade you carried. I ignored the signs, because I fell for you. Hard and fast. I became weak and doe eyed." I turned away from her to stare at the dresser, I was angry and no reason to hold it back.

Bo chewed on her lip, flush from my outburst, "even Geniuses fall in love, Lauren."

I laughed angrily, "Don't. You know exactly what I mean." I hobbled to sit on the edge of my bed, my back to Bo. "i was just a job, wasn't I. Everything was an act. The bumbling in interviews, you're sweet little childhood backstory. All of it was scripted, even down to knowing my drink order. All fed to you by the agents watching me." I turned and stared at her over my shoulder, "what happened, actually happened, when we were interviewed separately after you almost died." my breath suddenly hitched, that memory was painful itself and now even more so knowing it might have been a set up.

Bo spoke, in a shaking soft voice, "you never were a job, Lauren. Everything I told you about me and my feelings for you, all real, all honest." I cocked my eyebrow, disbelieving her, "did they also ask you to whore yourself out too me, or was that an improvisation on your part. Knowing that I would most likely share things with you during pillow talk."

I hit a nerve and watched as Bo turned a bright red color, she exploded, "fuck you Lauren, that cuts a little too deep, I wont sit here and take that. Use your genius skills to look at me and see that I am not lying when I say all of the moments we shared, that was me. Ysabeau. You got me, not the undercover agent. me." Bo was fuming, "Agent Carlisle was right when she said my feelings got in the way, because I fell in love with you. Completely, unexpectedly and with all of my being."

I snapped back, "no, fuck you Bo, Ysabeau. You are avoiding the questions I am asking you. I don't think you will ever answer them, it doesn't matter anymore. The case is closed, over and you are free now." I stood up and stepped closer to her, looking in her eyes, "the only person in this whole fucked up ordeal that ever told me the truth was Ethan." I paused as I watched Bo fight rage and tears in her eyes, "you are free to go, Ysabeau." I dropped my glance to the duffle bag to drive the point home, then wobbled out of the bedroom, I hit the stairs as I heard bo let out the choked sob she had been holding in.

I walked down the stairs and outside, in need of fresh air. I stood in the front yard, letting the hot sun beat at me. Alex pulled into the driveway as I took steps to walk away from the house, he stepped out smiling at me. "Alex, take me somewhere. Now."

Alex frowned, "can I change first?" he looked at his ratty gym clothes he was still wearing. I threw him a death glare and shouted, "just get in the fucking car and drive."

"you miss your nap Lauren? Cranky..."

I moved to the car as Alex asked what was up my ass, when he paused, I looked up and saw Bo come out the front door, tear streaked face and clutching the duffle bag that seemed fuller now. I hear Alex mumble a "oh fuck." Bo caught my eyes as I held the passenger door open. She cocked her head slightly, silently asking something, anything from me. I broke her stare, "Alex, now."

he looked between bo and I, then back to Bo, "Sorry Lt. You can bitch me out later." He jogged over to Bo, grabbing the duffle bag from her and walking her to her car. The two exchanged words as I watched from inside the car, using the rearview mirror. Bo would look back at the car, wiping at the tears on her face, when Alex gave her a hug and jogged back to me in the car. He sat down and started the engine, then looked over, "don't say it. I get you are pissed off beyond belief and too hurt to understand anything. Doesn't mean I cant thank her for saving your miserable life Lauren." he then turned his focus to backing the car out of the driveway, "i think you need a drink,  
first rounds on you."

* * *

Two weeks later I sat alone in the rental house. Alex had to go home, my legs were now healed to a point that I could move on my own easier. Alex did reluctantly leave me, asking at least twice for me to come back to Chicago with him. I had to practically push him out of the door, telling him that I would call him if I needed him.

My computer sat open, notes and flash cards strewn all over the coffee table. I was attempting to study, hoping it would fill my head with other things. I honestly had no clue where to go next in my life. After blankly staring at the computer, I stood up, walking to the kitchen. As I moved slowly my eyes caught the massive pile of magazines that Alex had collected and left on my desk. I picked them up with the intent of dropping them into the recycling bin, that's when I saw the lone silver key sitting atop of a picture of Bo and I. She had left it after we fought and I found it when Alex and I came back from the bar. I tried throwing it out but was too drunk to remember where the garbage can was. Eventually it sat there and became covered with car and gun magazines. I stared at the picture, Bo's handwriting scrawled at he bottom, only four words in black ink, four words that stung me as I looked at them, "i love you Lauren." I couldn't bring myself to touch it, so I covered it back up with the pile of magazines and continued to the kitchen.

The doorbell rang as I stared at the beer and ice cream Alex had left for me, deciding if I wanted to get drunk or fat, or both. The doorbell rang again as I wobbled to it, picking up my gun on the way. I held a steady hand against the door as I looked through the peephole.

I sighed as I opened the front door to reveal a smiling Kenzi standing on the front porch, "Hey hotpants."

"Agent McAdams." my voice had a small edge to it. Kenzi frowned, "knock that shit off, I am still Kenzi, the one and only." she saw the gun in my hand, "maybe you want to let me inside and put that away." I leaned over, setting the gun on the side table, "what do you want."

Kenzi pushed past me, "why thank you, I would love to come in!" she sat down on the couch, eyeballing the attempts of studying laying around, "Back on the doctor horse? Missing the big nerd words already?"

I closed the front door, "why are you here?" I kept my tone flat, I wanted to be left alone but for some reason could not be mean to Kenzi. The small girl looked my way, "nice to see the Ice Queen has returned." she dropped the notes she had been holding, "i came to have a bro to hotpants chat with you in regards to my best friend and partner."

I said nothing, prompting Kenzi to continue on, "i know, you are real pissed off at her and the situation. You want nothing to do with her. That's fine, that's your jacked up prerogative, but after a few days of pulling pieces together and drinking all of my booze, Bo told me some tings, things she tried to tell you but you didn't seem to want to hear or believe." Kenzi pushed back in the couch, "you might want to sit Hotpants, this is going to take a minute."

"kenzi, there's nothing I want to hear or care to hear."

The girl ignored me, "Bobo and I have been bff's and partners for almost two years now. She was able to save me from the streets and took me under her wing and wangled me into getting this sweet undercover job. I know, I don't look like I would be quite federal material, but it helps when you speak fluent Russian and most of your family is connected to one Russian mafia or another." she tapped at her head, "i am also super smart, just never care to apply myself." Kenzi's blue eyes turned serious, "Bo is basically my sister, we know each other inside and out, up and down. Bo was excited when she moved into the UC unit after we graduated from the FBI academy, but then they assigned her first thing to you. Because she did know of you from Chicago and was semi familiar with you. She got nervous, real nervous. Ya, see my Bobo always had a thing for you, crush, hero worship, whatever when she was working the road. Then to top it off, the suits deluged her with your background, your habits, patterns, everything but what color underwear is your favorite. Mixed that with your awesome ice box attitude in the first days she worked with you, made for a fun time at home when Bo would come home bitching and fuming about you and how big of a dick you were." kenzi smiled lightly, "but every night I could tell that there was more to it, she was falling for you and it frustrated her when you threw ice cubes in her face."

the urge to sit down overcame me, I was absorbing what the fast talking agent in front of me was spewing and my legs began to beg for me to sit down. "Kenzi, this is all irrelevant, I was just a job."

Kenzi chuckled, "sometimes the smartest people are also the dumbest. Bo broke protocol that day she kissed you outside that victims house. Something she never did, in Chicago or in the FBI. But when it came to you, the stunning lieutenant Lauren Lewis, bo threw the whole damn rule book out the window faster than you could say hotpants. After that steamy awkward kiss in the street, Bo knew it." Kenzi glared at me, "she came home freaking at me. She broke her own rules to never get too involved with victims, witnesses, etc. That and she had just kind of cheated on her boyfriend."

my head shot up, eyes wide and dead on Kenzis. She winked at me, "yea, Bobo was dating a dude, had been for quite some time. They met at a bar while we were out celebrating becoming sweet ass agents. They became pretty serious for awhile, he even confided in me that he was going to marry her. But after that kiss, shit fell apart in her world. She could not hide the fact that love was brewing for you, she broke up with the poor sucka right after you left her on the curb."

Kenzi paused for a moment to see if I was still listening, "Bo then started to lose the purpose of the operation, she was falling for you hard and was struggling with the fact she was hiding things from you. It caused her to fuck up, fuck up a lot. Her exit as your partner was her idea, she had to create distance that and you really hurt her with the crap you said. Then you and Ethan tangled, and Bo forgot the distance and never left you while you were in the hospital. When you told her you loved her, it changed her completely and her focus became you and you alone, she began fucking up more. That's how Ethan nabbed her. We had Intel that night come in that the shitbag was in your neighborhood, but bo had turned her phone off. She always did that when she was with you. I cant vouch for you, just for bo, but when it was you two, you got the real deal, the real bo and not the FBI agent. The girls who's eyes lit up like diamonds when she saw you, or ranted on about the little things you did and said." Kenzi stopped for a moment, I could feel her getting mad at me.

I spoke before she started again, "it doesn't matter, she stuck with it. The lies and the operation."

Kenzi hopped up from the couch, startling me. I watched as she walked into the kitchen, helping herself to my fridge, "that's where you are Wong, not your fault, hotpants. The FBI was adamant on keeping your ass in the dark." She came back to the couch with my leftover Chinese, "Bo tried to quit, bail on the entire operation. Those nutty ass interviews Koo Koo Cameron set you? Yes, Cameron was directed to separate you two. One so Bo could be debriefed and updated on the sitch, two they were waiting for you to see through Cameron's bullshit." through a messy mouthful of noodles, "Bo wanted to quit, I was there in that room with her, she went apeshit on SAC Carlisle. Asking to be pulled out of the operation. That she could not keep on lying to you and dragging you through the shit that was the carpenters. Bo openly admitted to all the suits in that room she had fallen in love."

I sat silent, fixating on a point on the wall, as Kenzi kept on, "she had to play the game, the suits were rough on her. SAC face denied her, telling her that we were in a critical point, blah blah bullshit. They scared Bo into thinking if she pulled out of the operation she would lose you to Ethan. The suits threatened to transfer her to the other side of the damn world if she didn't finish out the operation, laying a thick mind fuck on her."

Kenzi threw her feet up on the table, "Bo wanted to move down here so she could be closer to the FBI headquarters, the Sundays we would disappear we were down at the headquarters looking for loopholes to get her out of the operation without making things worse than they already were. You were getting suspicious and it didn't help that my big mouth almost blew it. Bo being happy down here was legit, she had found her out a few weeks before the lab. A ancient loophole from the twenties that would allow her to pull out of the operation free and clear to pursue a future with you. She was a day away from setting it in motion when I got that weirdo voicemail telling me Ethan had you. Bo left in the middle of a drug bust, ignoring my command to stand back until I had the boys in place."

Kenzi looked at me, smiling wide, "yea that, SAC face put me in charge after Bo went wonky." she set down the empty container, "she kicked down that door for you, killed Ethan for you. It does totally suck balls Ethan laid down Bobo's semi secret to you like he did." Kenzi met my eyes, "Bo loved you, still loves you. She made decisions because she was trapped. Trapped in wanting to keep you safe and loving you to the point that she would throw it all away, and tried."

I was still silent when Kenzi finished her speech, "hotpants, this is the honest to god truth. I have never seen her so far gone in love for someone."

I took a steady breath, "So many lies Kenzi, I was used."

The dark haired girl stood up, "so was Bo." she walked past me, laying a hand on my shoulder, "i have to bolt. I meet my new partner in a few hours." she noticed the look in my eyes, "yea, bo left the UC unit a week ago. She is now a desk jockey over in the intelligence division." taking steps to the front door, "i hope one day, now that you know the truth and maybe when you are a fancy doctor, you can forgive her. You both love each other more than you want to admit, and before you tell me I am full of it, its written all over your face right now. You love her just as much as you hate her."

Kenzi saluted me and left my house, the door clicking behind her. I was left again in the hard silence of my house. I was angry at myself for not letting Bo talk. I was still angry at everything, my heart was still shattered. I stood up and walked to the pile of magazines, pushing them off the picture at the bottom. I slipped the silver key in my pocket, then held the picture in my hands. I stared at it for a moment before setting it down on my laptop to prevent my tears from ruining it.

* * *

A month passed and I fell into the old habits I created when Elle died. I became closed of and distant. I had to eventually drop out of the semester completely until the next year. I was too far behind, even for my own liking. Making decisions in the silent house, I closed out the lease and called Alex, telling him that he would soon have his landlord as a roommate. I then called Captain Jameson to set up a meeting for my possible return, I was running out of money and the job was the only thing I knew I could do on autopilot, that and the offer was still on the table to ride a desk.

Walking into the station three days later, it felt like I had never left. There were some new faces and some old ones that actually offered up a smile when they saw me versus the ice queen stares I once received. I met with Captain Jameson and the superintendent of the police department, who was beyond excited that I was coming out of retirement. We negotiated and I settled on taking the Captain position that Jameson offered me so long ago. It was an interim promotion. While I was gone Jameson had taken my lead and filed his own retirement. I would be taking his spot until a proper replacement was found and I would be moved to the training division to become the head of the detective training. I took it for the pay bump, also negotiating that I would hold the position for two years before I had saved up enough to be completely free from work and focus solely on medical school. In truth I just had no stomach for going back to medical school at this point, I just wanted to be on autopilot until I could work through my mind, being cop was a job I knew and still could do better than anything, I also could not envision myself working a normal job. The added bonus of a full time job, I would be starting therapy in a week.

I walked out of the office, my new captain bars digging into my palm before I dropped them into my pocket. I was met with Alex leaning across the secretaries desk, trying to pull a date out of thin air. I walked up behind him, "excuse me Detective Cambridge, but do you think this is proper office behavior."

Alex froze and turned to me, "holy shit, when did you get back?" he punched me in the shoulder.

"a couple days ago, stayed with my parents. I had to make sure things were taken care of, that and it has been a while since I saw them."

"yea, your mom was getting close to busting in your door and laying down mom law on you." Alex laughed, "what are you doing here?"

before I could speak, the superintendent walked over to me, shaking my hand, "its great to have you back Captain Lewis. I look forward to working with you." he then walked briskly away as his assistant handed him a phone.

Alex opened his mouth, "shut. The. Shit. up. Captain Lewis? You didn't..."

I nodded, "i had too, I need a job. I cant afford school right now and I really don't want to work at Barnes and Noble, even though I was called back for a second interview."

Alex stared at me, "my office." he turned, walking to the elevator. I followed and we said nothing until we made it to his office, my old office. I had to smile when I saw the giant die hard posters hanging perfectly on the walls I once cherished. Alex closed the door as I sat in his old spot. "Lauren, are you kidding me. You are back?"

"yes. I don't need a lecture, Alex. I need a job. I will be taking over for Jameson until they find a better replacement and then I will be moved to the training unit. Teaching rookies, which I think is the only thing I can handle until my head and heart..." I drifted off, "you can keep your office, I have one that has working air conditioning now."

Alex shook his head, ignoring my attempt at humor, "Lauren. Have you talked to her?"

I clenched my jaw, my stomach twisting, "no. the last I heard from her was when Kenzi stopped by. Telling me everything, all of it. All the things Bo wanted to tell me but I yelled at her instead of listening." I fidgeted in my chair, "i cant expect you to understand what I am feeling, but I still haven't let go of the pain and the hurt. And before you tell me its like when I lost Elle, its not. It hurts more because of the lies, the betrayal. Its all still very alive in my heart and I am struggling with it and my feelings for her."

"you still have feelings for her?" Alex looked at me hopeful.

"i don't know if they are hate or love, Alex. All I know is that they still hurt. More importantly, my trust was lost." I had to stop, I felt tears begging to come out.

"well Lt., er should I say Captain Lewis. Welcome home." Alex dug in his pocket and pulled out a key, sliding it across the table, "the moving van showed up this morning. They got your stuff inside. I moved my room to the basement, I practically lived down there anyways after discovering you had made it into man cave."

I rolled my eyes, "it was intended for entertaining dinner guests."

"well, its my room and man cave now." he squinted at me, "is it against the rules if command and the grunts live together?"

"if it is, I don't really care. Just as long as I still have my leather chair and my window." I stood up, "what are they going to do? Fire me?"

The sound of Alex laughing followed me out of his office.

* * *

Four months passed by quickly, I had begun to settle in as acting Captain, taking over for Jameson. The job was not as bad as I thought, I did deal with a bit of politics, but my reputation as a Lieutenant had followed me and may tread lightly around me. Alex would come into my office at least once a week and fill me in on what he was doing as I checked over case reports, complaints and other mindless administration paperwork. Alex and I had also fallen into a easy living arrangement, it was like living with my brother. I enjoyed it more than I wanted Alex to know, his mere presence was healing. The only thing that irritated me the most was I was back in uniform, the white shirt and gold accents made me feel weird, especially when I was oogled by men and women alike. I had been hit on in the coffee shop and a few times in the lobby as I checked on incoming complaints, the tailored uniform was more flattering than I wanted.

Even with the work as a distraction, I thought about Bo everyday, some days they were angry memories, and others they would be glimpses of her in my arms. I would find myself staring at the desk she once occupied when I sat in Alex's office. I had not heard anything from her since that day at the rental house. I heard from Kenzi here and there, random emails and one phone call to congratulating me on moving up in the world, and reminding me she still had rank over me. But in the times my office door was closed or when I would sit and look out my front window at the lake, I would drift to thinking about her. The pain slowly drifted away as the days drifted. I could not place the exact feeling I had, but there was something there.

Today was a day that I was particularly lost in a memory, the memory of her sitting by my hospital bed and analyzing the clues I had missed. I was beginning to realize that what Kenzi told me was true and I had been too emotional to see it all. My daze was broken by my secretary coming in and handing me a small package, "here are your travel arrangements and the itinerary."

I took it slowly, "come again?"

The young secretary smiled, "i figured that things would get lost in transition, but you will be leaving in three days for the police chiefs and command conference in Washington. Captain Jameson was attending this year as the representative for the department."

I blinked, "excuse me?" I opened the package and saw the letter from the superintendent and all of the flyers for the conference.

"its held every year, its a conference to improve upon policing. Special guests, seminars held by the federal agencies. Its a convention for cops." The secretary smiled as she said it, "apparently you are the jewel of the superintendents eye and he wants you to be the ambassador."

I frowned, "those were his exact words, right?"

The girl nodded, "oh but of course, but I took care of the arrangements. I upgraded you to a suite at the hotel, you will have a car pick you up and of course all meals and expenses are covered." she winked at me, "Those gold bars are good for something." she walked briskly out of my office as I stared at the fliers. I normally loved seminars and conferences, when it came to psychology or new evidence collection, I even once attended a conference on the human genome in Iowa. But this was a straight up dog and pony show. I groaned as I piled up the fliers, plane tickets and hotel bookings and shoved it in my briefcase. I then looked at the calendar, it would be another three months until my replacement arrived. There was no way I could put this conference off. I hit a button, "Alex, my office now, and bring the good scotch you stashed behind die hard 2."

* * *

I felt beyond uncomfortable as I stood in a sea of pompous uniformed men. I had just walked into the welcoming event of the conference. I felt stiff in my dress uniform of black pants, black dress jacket, white shirt and the matching hat. My uncomfortable feeling was amplified as I saw that the ratio of men to women was sorely not in my favor. I held my dress hat under my arm as I navigated towards the open bar. I received even more unwanted looks, I stood out in the uniform. It was rare to see a thirty one year old woman wearing a perfectly tailored uniform. A few times I was stopped by Chiefs and other high ranking officers who knew who I was. Many of them skirted around asking the questions I knew they wanted to ask, the ones about Ethan and the FBI operation. Some of the details of operation eclipse had been made public through the FBI's media representatives to highlight that the federal agencies were still doing a good job.

With a whiskey firmly in hand, I navigated the sea once again. Making my way to the back of the room where there were sign up sheets for seminars and the other events. I scanned over them, only finding one that I was mildly interested in, the psychology of the effects of serial killers on victims. I scribbled my name down, intrigued on how the information would be presented. I scanned the other sheets when I heard a familiar laugh off to my left. It paused me completely until I heard it again. I took a deep breath and turned in the direction it came from. I could not see anything over the crowd of people. I was about to abandon it and search out another whiskey when I heard it again. I swallowed and pushed through the sea and as my eyes found the owner of the laugh, a chief from some small town in a Midwest state, stopped me, introducing himself excitedly. "Captain Lauren Lewis, Chicago police. I had heard you were attending, I would love to sit down with you and talk to you about your profiling and the work you have done over the years. I want to bring new training into my own detective division." I looked down at the smaller man, who had ambition shining in his eyes, "i appreciate that but I am just here to learn, I am not sure I can provide you with..." I stopped as I looked up and saw her.

Bo was standing in a circle of chiefs and what was obviously federal agents by their bland dark suits and government haircuts. She was laughing as one of the chiefs was talking, her laugh echoed around me, drowning out what the chief in front of me was talking on about. I stared at her, it had been a long time since I saw her with out tears in her eyes. Her smile was wide and bright, the dimple I would kiss while she slept, in full effect. She stood out in her pale grey and blue pinstripe suit, a blue button down hugging close to her curves. Her long brown hair was up, and I found my heart pounding uncontrollably as a wave of emotions crashed over me. The chief in front of me had to semi yell my name to pull my attention back to him, not only did it break my stare it caught Bo's attention. Her smile faded for a second as the small man shouted my name, she turned and our eyes met.

It was if the whole room just paused, as if someone hit he pause button on a DVD. Her smile faded and I saw sadness sweep over her eyes. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, until the small man in front of me put an hand on my elbow, breaking my concentration, I looked hard at him, "to be honest, I am only here for show, I don't give two shits about much anything other than free food and drink. If you want to know about my profiling techniques, read the article I published three years ago for the American Psychological Association. Please excuse me." I looked up to see bo moving towards me, I had to leave the room. I walked away from a shocked, irritated small man and pushed harder through the crowd until I was out into the main lobby. I took a deep breath, trying to slow down my heart. I was shaking, and clutched my dress hat harder as I searched out the elevator. I walked towards it, quickly, smiling at the endless amount uniforms walking past me. I hit the elevator button once, then twice, then fifty times, hoping to speed up the elevator.

"Lauren?"

her voice made my heart skip. I absently punched at the elevator call button.

"you might be in a uniform, but I could recognize you no matter if you were wearing a chicken suit." her voice was soft, but tentative. I turned to look at her, she was standing a few feet away from me. She smiled, there was pain in her smile.

I swallowed hard, "this is pretty close to a chicken suit." I looked down my uniform, its blazing gold accents. I whispered, "I didn't think you would be here, Ysabeau."

hearing her name, it made Bo shift nervously, "i am part of the intelligence unit group leading the seminar on the legalities of wiretapping and inter departmental intelligence gathering." she laughed lightly, "now I sound like the genius."

I flinched at her words and she caught it, "sorry." she cleared her throat, "so a police Captain now, what happened to medical school."

her words caught me, "you know what happened." it came out harder than I wanted, I looked at the elevator, it was moving slow, "i, uhm, Jameson retired and I was offered to come back and become a instructor in the training unit, I am currently acting Captain for my old district."

bo laughed, I could see her temper flicker, "you a teacher? Hmm."

I glared at her, "you a mole? Hmm." my words laced were laced with daggers.

"Lauren, I didn't come to find you to fight. I wanted to see you, its been a long time." I could tell she was trying to talk her own temper down.

Bo moved closer to me, "how are you?" I could tell she wanted to reach out and touch me, even if it was in the smallest way. When I looked in her brown eyes, I wanted her too, but the lingering anger was still there.

"good, I would be better if this fucking elevator would hurry up." I sighed hard and turned to Bo, "it was a long flight and I am tired." the elevator dinged, opening its doors.

I smiled, "maybe I will see you around at a seminar." I went to step into the elevator, facing the back and trying to hold my pounding heart in my chest. I heard the doors close and I let out a breath.

"Kenzi told me that she came to the house after...everything." Bo's voice, close to me, startled me. I turned around and was almost face to face with the woman. "she told you everything, didn't she?"

I clenched my jaw as I stared at the woman who I gave my heart completely too, "cornering me isn't going to help, but yes. Kenzi did tell me everything, how you fought to get out of the operation, to quit, everything."

Bo nodded and moved to the side of the elevator to give me more space, "everything she said was true, it was everything I wanted to tell you that day, but I couldn't. Your anger towards me was too much for me to fight. I let you win, gave you what you wanted."

I leaned my head back against the elevator wall, squeezing my dress hat in my hands, "bo I really don't think we need to do this." I closed my eyes, my room was only two floors away.

The elevator came to my rescue and the doors opened, I walked out, "i am sorry if I distracted you from your colleagues and thank you for walking me to my room." I dug in my pocket for my room key.

I felt her hand on my arm, stopping me "you do distract me Lauren, every damn day I wake up, I think about you. I cant stop thinking about you and the things that happened between us. The things I left so painfully unsaid. Everyday I wake up and regret not telling you to shut up like I am now, and listen to me." Bo pulled at my arm, "look at me, give me that. Look at me as I tell you that there is not a minute that goes by I my heart does not ache for you. A minute does not go by that I wish I had done things differently, pushed harder to leave the operation, to just grab you and tell you everything after I almost lost you in the garage." I looked at Bo, her eyes were brimming with tears.

"i meant it every time I told you I loved you, Lauren, and I mean it now. I still love you, more than I can even bear as you stand in front of me again." she slowly let her hand drop from my arm. "it was a lie yes, a show, my bumbling skills. But I fell in love with you for real, that was all real." she took a deep breath, "and as I stand here, looking at you in that uniform, you are still the most beautiful woman I have ever met."

her words hit me, deep to my heart, my anger dissipated, but I still didn't know what to think or feel, "you took my trust for granted..." it slipped out.

Bo nodded furiously as a tear fell down her face, "i know, and that's the one thing I will always regret the most, you lost your trust in me." she swiped at the tear on her cheek, "maybe I should have died that day in the warehouse, the lies would have ended that night."

it shattered my heart when I heard her wish she had died in the warehouse at Ethan's hand. I was holding back as much as I could, I knew in that moment I was still very much in love with the woman standing in front of me, she was telling me the truth. I was able to see it clearly in her words and how she was tentative around me. She swallowed again, "i made a silent promise that first night I sat with you in the hospital, that I would never let anyone hurt you ever again, that's why I killed him. But then I realized I hurt you, and it was better if I walked away that day in the house, I broke so many of my own promises." she paused looking around her, "i still fucking love you, Lauren."

I squeezed my hat harder, hearing the plastic brim creak under the strain, this was everything I needed to hear but had prevented Bo by pushing her out of my life as fast as I could. I looked at her teary brown eyes as she waited for me to say something, I didn't say anything, I took the steps to close the gap between us, dropping the bent hat to the floor as my hands came up to Bo's face and pulled her into a startling kiss. I dropped a hand to her waist, pulling her too me. It took her a moment to respond, to give in. her hand came to my back pressing, pushing me closer to her. Our lips met in a angry, passionate way, taking and giving as much as they did in our first kiss against the squad car. I broke the kiss after my heart and lungs threatened to explode from lack of air. Bo was breathless and flush, I looked in her eyes, "you should have told me to shut up a long time ago, bo." Bo closed her eyes as our foreheads met, "i cant keep hating you, Ysabeau, because I am still very much with in love with you."

I heard a noise and looked to the left and saw that there was a random hotel guest stumbling down the hall and had begun to stare at us. I didn't pay much attention to the person, they were wearing a hooded sweatshirt with the hood pulled deep over their head. I backed away from Bo, "we have an audience, lets go to my room, there are some things I need to tell you." Bo glanced at the pervy teen and nodded, bending down to pick up my hat and hand it to me, she mumbled, "you do look amazing in that uniform." I didn't look at Bo as I felt the blush creep up my face. I opened my room door and let Bo in first. I glanced one more time at the hooded teenager as he turned to walk back where he came from.

As my room door closed behind Bo and I, the hooded figure pushed back the hood, long blonde hair fell down, standing in front of the elevator the figure looked at the face reflecting back at them, a long thin scar ran across the face. Sarah smiled as she took note of the room number, whispering to no one but herself, "reunited and it feels so good, but I can wait a little longer." she jammed her hands in her hoody pockets, fingering the large knife hidden in the pocket.

**This is turning into a epic last chapter promise...I keep getting new ideas and I don't want to break away into the sequel just yet. and yes, I know I made lauren a captain again, that was a mistake because I didn't think about the Chicago police ranking until I had already laid it down. It was easier to move her through this to this point as a police captain. so please forgive me, I am not trying to be redundant...I just need to be more diligent in proper ranking. so, yes, more to come as I work on this...because I left you all hanging. keep reviewing me and throwing me in check, because it helps develop this story more. ENJOY!**


	20. Chapter 20

"wow this room is three times the size of mine." bo was trying to break the lingering tension between us. I tossed my hat onto the small couch in the room, I had only pulled Bo into my room to move our conversation away from the gawker. "my secretary upgraded my room."

"you have a secretary now? Has Alex tried too..."

"he tried but I threatened to take my office back and put him back out the in the cubicles." I stripped off my jacket and laid it on the back of the desk chair. "bo, I..." my words were cut short by Bo.

"i know, the trust between us." she stood in the middle of the suite, looking as if any minute I would tell her to leave. "i cant go back in time, Lauren, I cant change the things that happened. I can only change what will happen. There was a time when you trusted me completely, right?"

my hands dropped to rest on my hips, "i trusted someone."

Bo moved closer to me, "that someone was me, is still me. I know that things will not be fixed in a matter of minutes or in one kiss. But, if I have to beg you on hands and knees, Lauren, I will. Give me a second chance, to maybe try and be friends again." Bo searched my eyes.

I took a slight breath, "you make me weak and fearful."

Bo inched closer, "i make you human." She was making me nervous the closer she got. I spoke softer, "you make me angry and nervous."

Bo laughed lightly, "really, because you make me strong and frustrated." She was now inches away from me, I swallowed hard, "i don't think I can ever be friends with you b, nor do I want too." my jaw twitched as I said it.

I watched as Bo's temper flared, she stepped back, out of my space. "i don't know why I bothered, Kenzi told me the ice queen had returned, looks like she was right." she began to leave because of me, "i guess we are what we will be." bo nodded at whatever it was settling in her mind, "i will see you around this weekend, Captain Lewis."

"i cant be friends with you Bo, because I would be jealous of anyone who had your full attention, anyone would touch you or steal your heart away. I cant sit back and say yes to trying to be friends and not ignore how much I want to be with you. Regardless of the issues between us, I could not bear to see you with anyone else. I might or might not overcome the issues I have, I cant think that far ahead. All I know is I will not be your friend Bo." I pulled off my clip on tie and threw it on the chair holding my jacket, "that's the truth, my truth.." I met Bo's eyes as silence fell between us, I held up my hand signaling she did not have to say anything more, "maybe I will sit in on one of your seminars, it was good to see you." I began to unbutton my dress shirt to release some of heat building up as a heat flash overwhelmed me. My hands were stumbling as I closed my eyes, hoping Bo would take a silent exit and I would not have to watch her leave.

Bo's hands covered mine, stilling my fumbling fingers, her voice was soft, "let me." she brushed my hands away to take over unbuttoning the shirt, "I cant be friends with you either, Lauren. To see another woman stand where I stood, touch you like I did and want too every moment I look at you, fight with you the way I do, I miss the way you wanted me." her hands stopped as she had finished unbuttoning my uniform shirt, pulling it open revealing the plain white t-shirt underneath. She sighed as I shivered at the look in her eyes, "I don't ever want to imagine it."

Bo's hand pulled at the edge of my t-shirt, pulling it free and tentatively slipping a hand underneath it. Her fingers brushing against my bare stomach, sending more heat through my body.

Slow, nervous fingertips grazed my scars, making my breath catch. I lifted my hand to push away the few messy strands of hair that had fallen across Bo's face. "I don't know..." bo smiled and shook her head, holding my hand as it rested against her cheek. We lingered for a moment, staring at each other. I didn't know what to say, my hand moved further down to trace her lips with my thumb. Bo closed her eyes at my touch, kissing my thumb, leaning in to brush her lips against mine, sitting for a moment before pulling back, "maybe I should go." the air was filled with tension and nerves, it was if it was both of our first times.

I didn't speak I just leaned in and closed the gap between us, bringing our lips together softly as Bo had, sucking gently on her lower lip and brushing my tongue against her. Bo closed her eyes and pulled me closer, slipping her hands around to my back. I couldn't hold back anymore, there was little room between us, but I was able to move my hand to Bo's neck and follow it with soft kisses down then back up to the bottom of her jaw. Bo moaned lightly, our lips came together again. I meant for the kiss to be brief but I quickly lost myself in the softness of Bo's lips and her tongue against mine, Bo's hands moved up into my hair pulling me closer to her, before I knew it she pushed me back, gently, until I ran into the edge of the massive bed and fell back on it, successfully ending the slow sensual kiss. Bo moved quickly was now on top of me, pushing herself into me as her lips reconnected with mine in a deep, searching kiss. My hands went to her hips squeezing her hard.

my head was swimming and we kissed for several moments until Bo reached down to the edge of my shirt, sliding her hands underneath, gently caressing my stomach with her warm fingers, a moan escaped from me and I arched to feel more of her hands on me. just as Bo's hands where at the swell of my breasts, I pushed her back, sitting up. The taste of her lips made me ache to touch more of her, taste more of her and I had to stop and gather myself. I didn't want to rush this moment, like we had so many times before. I reached up and shoved the blazer Bo was wearing off her shoulders, she pulled it the rest of the way off and watched as my once fumbling fingers were now steady and determined as they tugged at the buttons of her blue button down shirt. When her shirt was free, Bo removed her bra and what I saw, made me want to immerse myself in every inch of her, she was beyond beautiful and looking at her before me made my heart stop. I slowly reached my hand up, my fingertips grazing the new scar on her stomach, it sent a sharp pain through my body. Bo gently grabbed my hand and pulled it up to her breasts, making me trace a finger across a hard nipple, making Bo moan quietly and grip hard at my hips.

I did it again, harder and Bo leaned into my touch, "Lauren..." before I could answer I felt her hands move from my waist, up and under my shirt. rubbing the skin across my ribs and stopping at my bra. her mouth came to my neck, kissing lightly as her hands pushed my bra out of the way so she could tease my nipples. this time the moan was from me as Bo's hands covered my breasts, squeezing as her teeth gently raked across my neck. I wanted her. I took a moment to look at Bo, I could see her heart racing in the veins of her neck. I couldn't hold back, as I bent to kiss her I pressed my thigh up between Bo's legs. She pushed down hard, moving back and forth achingly slow, as she moaned into my mouth. I didn't waste any more time. I could feel the need in Bo rising, as fast and hard as it was in me. I reached down, unbuttoning her pants and slipped my hand between the waistband of her dress pants and the thin cotton material blocking me. I felt the heat radiating from her. I took my time tenderly drawing circles around, feeling Bo squirm under my touch, "Lauren, please just touch me."

Before she could finish I slipped a finger inside, hearing a deep gasp come from Bo. I started slow and increased the movement of my fingers, Bo matched my rhythm and within minutes I felt her tighten around my fingers as she cried out in ecstasy. I covered her mouth with mine, kissing her deeply.

Bo didn't give herself a chance to recover, the look in her eyes were hazy and full of pent up desire. In a second she pulled me up and stripped me of the simple t-shirt I was still wearing, quickly followed by hands pulling my pants off. Bo pushed me back down onto the bed and was on top of me, pulling away the last fragments of clothing I had that stood in her way. She spared no time, working her way down my body, kissing my neck hard, biting gently at my nipples. My breath caught in my throat with my hear as I felt her tongue drag down from my navel to between my legs. The purposeful slow touch of her tongue against me, made my hips lift off the bed and push into her. I felt her hands dig into my hips pushing me back down as she slid two fingers in, making my heart pound. I gripped the sheets as I felt the wave of ecstasy hit me, I couldn't control the moan that Bo pulled out of my body with each flick of her tongue. I pushed back into the bed breathless and exhausted. I felt Bo's tiny yet tingling kisses leave and travel up my thighs, my stomach and finally my mouth. we kissed deeply, I felt the desire rise up in me again and I slid my hand between us as she laid on top of me, she gasped and broke away from the kiss when she felt my fingers on her again, I smiled, "you might miss that seminar."

* * *

My eyes opened, the bright white bed sheets reflecting the morning sun that poured into the room. I adjusted the pillow, propping myself up a little so I could get a better look at Bo standing in front of the window, wrapped in a blanket. "if you are cold, come back to bed." my voice was tired and raspy, and all for a good reason.

Bo smiled, looked over her shoulder at me with soft and content eyes, "i am fine, the sun was coming up and I wanted to watch it." she stared back out the window as the sun slowly moved to its final resting place to signify it was morning. I crawled out of the bed and shivered as I walked over to her, pulling her arms open so I could stand with her in the blanket. She looked down at my naked body, her eyes roaming over the old scars and new scars my body now carried. I pulled her closer to me, cutting off her view. "when do you have to leave?"

Bo held me close, "in an hour, I have to meet with the rest of the guys and get ready for the wiretapping seminar. I am leading it, I kinda cant miss it. As much as I want too." I felt her hands run over my back. I sighed hard, "I understand. I should probably show my face around the convention." I looked down at Bo, "apparently I am the crown jewel of the department, its how I got this suite." I raised my eyebrows to emphasize the descriptive words of my new position in life.

Bo laughed, "i should write the superintendent a thank you letter, that bed is amazing." we both looked at the bed, it looked like it had been in a war, it had been to a point. Bo laid her head on my chest, "i should shower before I go back to my room and change." she looked silently up at me, I kissed the corner of her mouth, "you don't even have to ask."

* * *

I stood in the bathroom, placing my badge and name bar on the fresh shirt I pulled out of the hotel closet. I looked at Bo in the bathroom mirror as she ran around trying to collect her things. I clipped on the black tie and turned to her, "if I find anything I can bring it to you later, you are going to be late."

Bo stood up from looking under the bed, brushing hair back, smiling as she stared at me, "you in that uniform, its hard to resist." she bit her bottom lip and I could see clearly what she was thinking.

"so were you in your patrol blues." I walked out of the bathroom, picking up her jacket and holding it out to her, "I will find you at the bar in a few hours, and then dinner tonight?"

Bo smiled wider, "wouldn't miss it." she took the jacket and walked to the door, she paused and rushed back to me, surprising me with a kiss. "i love you." bo turned and ran out the door, she was going to be extremely late to her seminar.

* * *

I suffered politely as I milled about in the convention. Suffering through many chiefs and federal agents droning on about the this or that they achieved in their career. I managed to sneak into a small group of female agents and chiefs that were actually interesting to talk too. I missed most of Bo's seminar, only catching the end. It was actually interesting to watch her, she was engaging and charismatic, she held everyone's attention and I smiled as I saw that she was far from the bumbling detective I met, it all made sense why the FBI chose her. At one point she made eye contact with me as I stood in the back of the room, she could not hide the smile and the slight blush on her face. I left the room before she saw me again, I didn't want to distract her anymore than I had.

As I walked through the hotel, trying to find a quite room, I thought about the night. Bo and I had reconnected, through and through. I still had doubts and lingering trust issues, but I knew that was on me and me alone. I could work through them, and would work through them. I could in time forgive Bo completely, if I hadn't already. I looked at the clock in the lobby, it was almost dinner time. Bo and I had agreed that we would meet for dinner and talk, try to continue the rebuilding of us. I fidgeted with small pamphlet I was given by a relatively attractive CIA agent, she was trying to recruit me in more ways than one. I laughed to myself as I read the paragraph that was obviously written by someone who had nothing to do with the CIA. As I read the mission statement, my phone buzzed in my pocket. A text from Bo blinked at me.

-Lauren, meet me on the roof. The view is amazing and I want to watch the sun set before dinner. Join me? I will be waiting at the west end. -

I half smiled, this new Bo was different and more of a romantic than I thought. I stood up and asked the concierge how to gain access to the roof. The young man gave me directions, not questioning anything. It appeared that I could go anywhere I wanted in the hotel as long as I was wearing a uniform. I thanked the young man and followed his directions.

I pushed open the roof access door, the sun was still bright but was dipping into the horizon with every minute. I walked around the HVAC units, shaking my head. There was a roof top pool and patio a hundred yards away, but the sun rose in the east and set in the west. The rooftop gravel crunched under my polished boots as I saw Bo sitting on a rooftop unit looking westward. I walked closer, "bo, there is a perfectly good patio over there, with chairs and fancy drinks."

I reached Bo, "hey." she turned to me, my heart dropped. Bo had duct tape over her mouth, her hands in double handcuffs. She had tears running down her face and she was shaking her head. I went to reach for her, "what the hell happened?" Bo pushed at me, to get me away. "Bo, stop." my voice was frantic as I tried to put together what the hell was going on.

"no, you should stop and step away from her, Lauren." I looked up and saw the gawker from the night before walking towards us, hood pulled up blocking the view of their face. "how about you back away from her. I don't want either of you getting ideas." I focused on the familiar voice, as I stepped back.

The gawker pulled the hood back, "its nice to have us all together again." Sarah smiled as her blonde hair poured out the hood. She went into her sweatshirt pocket and pulled out a gun, "don't try anything, Lauren. Its not like you would anyways, you seem to freeze under pressure."

"Sarah? What are you doing?" I stared at her in disbelief, she was alive. Sarah was thinner and the scar across her face pulled my eyes to it.

Sarah moved closer so she could sit next to bo, "I am doing what has to be done." she bumped into Bo, "this one here, yea she is a sneaky one. I had no idea that she was the agent watching me until I dug it out of the database under my brothers request." she reached up and traced the scar on her face, "he had a way to get me to do things." she looked at me with the same blue eyes I stared at far too many times, this time I could tell she was dead behind them, that Sarah had lost herself a long time ago. "oh I have something for you, I don't know if you are one for keepsakes but here." she reached into her pocket and tossed something at me, Ethan knife landed at my feet, skittering on the roof gravel. "you can have that, I have no need for it. my access card still works for the evidence rooms, hmm go figure the government never really gets to things right away."

Sarah wrapped an arm around Bo, pulling her close making Bo whimper, "i should really thank you for killing my brother, I guess you could say that you saved my life. Ethan had full intentions of coming back and killing me after he finally killed you." Sarah reached over and kissed Bo on the side of the face, "but you are my hero, Laurens hero. You saved the day and put eight perfect bullets in my dear brother."

Sarah hopped up,, the gun at her side as she walked to lean against the other HVAC unit across from Bo, "i do have one question I never was able to ask you in our interviews, Lauren." she rolled her head to look at me, "you have never killed anyone. Why is that." she pointed at herself and Bo with the gun, "my fellow agent here and I have both killed without thought, and yet you stared my brother down three times and could not pull the trigger. Why is that, Lauren? Why the fear." she stared at me hard.

I looked at her as I put my hands on my hip, my right hand resting on the concealed gun and holster that was made specifically for my dress uniform. "let bo go. Ethan is dead and there is no reason for this, Sarah."

Sarah laughed, "oh there is plenty of reason for this. I am going to kill her, because she killed my brother. Well that is the excuse I intend to use, family revenge. But in reality, she betrayed me, kind of like she betrayed you." Sarah pushed off the HVAC unit, "you see, after Ethan kidnapped me from the hospital, after you failed again to kill someone, me. Ethan punished me severely as the details of operation eclipse came out, the true nature of what I was trying to do. He was not happy that I was baiting him with you." Sarah reached up with her gun hand and rubbed at her head, "i have lost my mind, plain and simple. The cracks appeared when I watched Annie die in that field, then they continued to widen as I spiraled deeper and deeper. I was so close, so close to killing him." she furrowed her brow in apparent disappointment, similar to the look an old woman would get when she almost won bingo, but just missed it by one number.

Sarah shot the gun out, pointing it directly at Bo, "then she ruined it, he kidnapped her to get to you. He killed her to get to you, and I was too busy covering your back as you tried to play hero, that I froze. You were suppose to kill me in that hotel so I could be set free from him and everything in here." she tapped at her head again, it was apparent Sarah had gone over the deep end and her rational thoughts were only that she had to kill bo to make me understand her pain. "because of her he did this too me." she pointed at the scar on her face, "he did much worse to me than he ever did to you Lauren." Sarah was turning red with anger and tears.

"Sarah, I understand you, I almost lost the woman I love by Ethan's hands. You don't have to do this." I held out my other hand to try and calm her as my other hand inched further down on my concealed gun.

Sarah dropped the gun away from bo, "i brought you and Ethan together at the lab, the anonymous voicemail, me! All me! He made me drive him to the school. I had to beg him not to kill the sheriff that chased me. For that I faced more punishment." Sarah walked around, laughing maniacally, "god it was so simple, you had the advantage, all you had to do was pull the trigger! You! It was suppose to be you that killed him, But you couldn't, you left it for your girlfriend to display her FBI heroics." Sarah held up her hands in mock victory, "the great Agent McCorrigan saves the day again, lets give her another commendation and a pat on the fucking back."

Sarah turned to me and walked closer, my thumb flicked the catch on the holster, allowing me free access to the gun. "Lauren, how is it you can dig deep into the mind of the most evil people in the world without fear, but you cannot confront your own fears? Fear to love completely, to take control of the situation, you just would rather be under someone's thumb." Sarah paced back to Bo, snatching her up by the elbow, "you failed me, Lauren. You failed the one thing you had to do." Sarah pulled Bo closer to her, the gun setting right next to Bo's temple, "this one has to die, and you need to watch her die, just like I watched Annie."

I looked in Bo's eyes, the fear running rampant across them, I had to look away from her before my fear overwhelmed me. I then glanced at Sarah's gun hand, her finger was on the trigger, pulling back slowly, "it will all make sense when its done, just sit and watch like you only know how to do Lauren." she laughed as the trigger moved back.

Two gunshots rang out, Bo winced and closed her eyes until the sound of a body hitting gravel made her open them. I stood still, the gun in my hands still pointing where Sarah stood, smoke snaking and curling out of the barrel. Sarah was on the ground coughing as the blood spread across her chest from the two dead center wounds I placed.

I lowered the gun and walked to Bo, pulling off the tape as I used my extra hand cuff key to free her. As soon as her hands were free she grabbed me in a crushing hug, I held her close, not allowing her to speak, I told her, "go get help." I nodded to her as she pulled back and ran to the roof access door. I walked to Sarah, now coughing up blood. Sarah smiled, "not so afraid anymore are you?"

I bent down to her, "you didn't have to do this, Sarah. All of it, he would have never bothered you or me again. But you drew him out, you woke up the monster." I didn't make a move to try and stop the bleeding, my fear had left my body, I was watching the last link to Ethan die before my eyes, I bent down closer to Sarah, and whispered, "i will watch you die, just like I watched your brother." Sarah looked me in the eyes and laughed with difficulty, she choked out a last few words, "i don't regret any of it..." she faded away, a smile still on her face.

I stood up and walked past the knife Sarah had thrown at me. A handful of hotel security and local police ran past me to Sarah. I kept walking to the roof access door, sliding my gun back in its holster. Bo ran up to me with another officer, "Lauren?!"

I looked at her as I kept walking, "its finally over." the look in my eyes told her exactly what I meant. Bo swallowed hard as another officer stopped in front of me, also stopping me, "ma'am, I think you need to come with me." he looked at me awkwardly, I was a captain that was just involved with a rooftop shooting at a police convention. It was expected for him to be confused as what to do.

I nodded and looked back at Bo, and held my hand out to her, she took it slowly as we both followed the officer through the roof access door. It was the first time in my entire life I finally felt free and whole.

**okay, so probably one more wrap up chapter here. get the girls on a happy path and a path that will lead into the sequel. I will be MIA for a couple days as I take a small trip and wont be near a computer. but I will return and this will be tied up and I can focus on the strangers series and maybe the couple other ideas I have. As always, you are all amazing and I am glad you continue to read my stuff! next go round I will be in serious need of a beta! accepting applications now! enjoy!**


	21. Chapter 21

I was interviewed in a side conference room answering questions as I looked out the side windows and watching Sarah's body roll by me and placed in a plain white van. Bo had once again been separated from me. I spilled my guts to the locals and a sole FBI agent who was first to make the rooftop scene. My statement was taken, as well as my gun until everything was sorted out. When I was free to leave, I walked past another side room and caught a quick glance of Bo sitting with two other FBI agents and Agent Carlisle. Bo looked in my direction and I paused, She looked tired but relieved that I had finally ended things. My view was cut off as Agent Carlisle closed the door on me.

I waited twelve hours in my hotel room until the agent I dealt with came to my room and cleared me, also returning my gun to me. When I asked about Bo, he couldn't give me any details other than Agent McCorrigan was still being debriefed and that it was undetermined when Bo would be cleared. I rolled my eyes and made an offhand comment how the federal agencies never made anything easy. When the agent left me, I finished packing my bags. I pushed through the rest of the convention and hailed a cab. While I was waiting to be cleared from any wrong doing, I had my secretary book a flight for me to head back home. I wanted to go home, more than anything now that it seemed the nightmare was over. I left a message for Bo, I didn't want to sit and wait then have to deal with agent Carlisle or anymore FBI agent, knowing they would keep Bo from me as long as they could.

When I arrived home, I said nothing to Alex as he followed me up to my bedroom, asking what had happened. I began pulling off my uniform, I stopped in the middle and sat on the bed after Alex asked for the hundredth time. I looked up at him, "tomorrow. Over brunch I will tell you everything. But now, all I want is to crawl in my bed and have my first peaceful sleep in months." the look in my eyes told Alex everything. "sure thing Lauren."

he smiled and turned to go back downstairs, I called after him, "Alex wait, if Bo calls. Wake me up."

Alex paused and stared at me, "the bo?"

"the one and only."

Alex squinted at me, "are you sure you don't want to tell me anything?"

I shook my head and continued with removing my uniform, "tomorrow." As soon as Alex left I threw my pajamas on and collapsed into my bed, passing out in less than two breaths.

Three days passed by, I had not heard anything from Bo. I struggled with it, wondering if the FBI had imposed upon her once again while also dealing with what I had done on the rooftop. For the first time in my life I killed someone and it resonated within me, it was not a selfish, needless kill, it was something I had too do, and was justified in doing it. But it didn't make the fact any easier to digest, it was also harder for me to digest without the woman I loved next to me, I needed to know she was okay and I just needed her.

I missed Bo immensely, I wanted her to knock on my front door so I could hold her in my arms and pour out my heart like I had been craving since the door was closed on me and her. I managed to only send a few texts to Bo with no reply. I had a sinking feeling that I could not fend off. Kenzi had called me the day I got back from the conference, only telling me Bo had gotten the message I left for her.

I returned to work, my replacement had been chosen and he would be taking over for me in a matter of days. I was more than excited to hand off the reigns and fall into teaching until my contract ended. I was clearing out the small amount of items I had brought into my temporary office, Alex was sitting in a chair and watching me.

"that's weird you have not heard anything from her in days. You think this was another secret agent trick?"

I dropped files into a box and shook my head, "no, not at all. What she said to me in that hotel room and the pure fear I saw on her face, it was honest and raw. I think the FBI likes keeping us separate." I put my hands on my hips, "i honestly don't know, Alex. All I know is I miss her, and it could be that the media is all over my ass again, keeping her from me." the media had picked up the story and was hounding me, asking for exclusive interviews, comments and I even had received offers for television movies.

A light knock on my door, distracted me. My secretary smiled, "Captain, the superintendent is here to see you." She looked down at Alex, who immediately hopped up and grabbed his things, "i will catch you later, ride home tonight?"

I sighed, "sure thing. Meet you as soon as I am done?" Alex winked at me, ride home was our code for after work drinks and hot dogs at the bar closest to the house. It had become a routine since I moved back and it stuck.

As soon as Alex left, my secretary brought in the superintendent who was closely followed by my least favorite FBI agent, Agent Carlisle. The superintendent spoke first, "Captain Lewis! I am glad I was able to catch you, I know that you are in your last few days in this office." he took a seat and motioned for Agent Carlisle to sit.

"yes sir, I am just cleaning up the little bit of things I have around here. My replacement should be in by the end of the week." I sat down after moving the box to the floor, "i am looking forward to moving into the training unit, it will be a nice change of pace." I smiled tightly as I glared at Agent Carlisle.

The superintendent nodded, "that's good to hear, I have come here with Agent Carlisle to discuss some things with you." he reached into his briefcase and pulled out a small black folder accompanied with a small black box, "first, this is your commendation for your actions down in D.C. You will be properly honored next month at our yearly ceremony, but I wanted to get this to you myself."

I looked at the commendation and the medal, it was for bravery in the line of duty and lifesaving. I smiled and set the two aside, "thank you sir, but I was just doing my job."

The superintendent smiled, "that's what they all say, I am very proud of you Captain Lewis. Which brings me to my next order of business." he glanced at Agent Carlilse, "As you know Agent Carlisle is the head of the BSU unit for the FBI. Her and I had a meeting this morning. We have been in contact since the shake out of operation eclipse. WE have both decided that our two agencies working together is something we both want to pursue further."

I felt my temper spike. "how do you mean, sir?"

"i will let Agent Carlisle take it from here."

Agent Carlisle nodded, "thank you. Lauren, I am going to present it to you as simple as I can. You are beneficial to the FBI. You have a profiling skill that has yet to be matched within our own agency, and as I told you that first time I met you. I would return in time, and here I am now. The superintendent has agreed to let me borrow you for an undetermined amount of time as I rework and reorganize the BSU unit. It is obvious we had some holes and leaks that now need plugging. You are the perfect fit for the job. Before you say no, let me explain more. You will be working with new agents and training them as you would new detectives here, you would aslo be working on cold case files that were left abandoned by Agent Cameron." Agent Carlisle stared at me in the eyes, "you will be assigned a experienced FBI agent as your partner and the two of you will work together as the BSU is reorganized." Agent Carlisle smiled warmly as she finished.

I sat back in my chair, "why on earth would I want to work for you? After everything your agency has put me through? The lies, the deception, the crazies that chased me and the ones I cared about." I paused and stared at her hard, "speaking of which, what has happened to Agent McCorrigan." I was not asking a question.

Agent Carlisle kept her smile, "Agent McCorrigan has received a new assignment." she crossed her legs, "As for the why would you want too work for me? Its simple as this, you give me two years or the remaining time you had negotiated with the superintendent here, and I will provide you with a full federal retirement and medical school will be paid for. As soon as you retire with us, you are free and clear. Never will that uniform see your closet. You will also have full access and privileges that any other agent would have, but without the badge and title." Agent Carlisle took a breath, "we need you Lauren, its as simple as that. You know what its like to be chased by a madman and maintain your humanity when it is most needed. You look at cases with a analytical fine tooth comb and you never give up. I need that in the BSU."

I stared at her, the offer she was handing too me was too much to ignore. That and if I had FBI access I could find where she sent Bo, it was worth playing the game until I found Bo. The superintendent looked at me with excited political eyes, waiting for me to accept so he could parade around the fact he was now working with a federal agency. I took a deep breath, "two years, that is it. No more."

The superintendent could not hold back his smile, Agent Carlisle nodded firmly, "perfect, Lauren. I will have everything set up for you. You will be meeting your partner in a today or tomorrow, as soon as they arrive in the city. After that, you will be moved to the Chicago office and work out of there until the internal investigation at the home office has been finished." Agent Carlisle stood up and held out her hand, "i am glad to have you with us, regardless of our past meetings, I look forward to working with you." I said nothing as I shook her hand and the superintendents. They left me as quickly as they came in, leaving me to stare at my borrowed desk.

After almost a half hour of staring at the desk, I called my secretary and told her I would be leaving for the day and to tell Alex to grab the boxes and I would meet him later. When I walked out of the station, I squinted at the early afternoon sun, bright and hitting me in the face. It was a abnormally warm day and I found that my dress jacket and uniform on a whole was far too much for the weather. I hailed a cab and rushed home, changing out of my dress uniform, I threw on a pair of jeans, a old pair of worn boots, and one of Bo's old white V-necks I had kept from when we lived together. I was determined to find her and hoped that my new partner would not put a wrench in the works, I was almost tempted to request Kenzi to be my partner or at least request her to work with me. I walked out of the house and across the street to the lake, mesmerized by the water, it helped ease my decision to work with the FBI. I would be teaching and the lure of cold cases was a little too much for me to ignore on top of having access to finding Bo.

The lake front was empty, only a handful of runners and people skipping work dotted the lake front. I walked to my favorite spot, it was on a small bend that was isolated but gave me a perfect view of navy pier and I could look in any direction and see nothing but water. I sat on the edge of the waterfront concrete, letting my legs swing over the water. While watching a kayaker, I heard footsteps behind me. I paid little attention to it, thinking it was a runner enjoying the view for a moment. The footsteps stopped directly behind me.

I hung my head down, staring at the water lapping at my feet, "where have you been." I felt slightly angry since it had been three days and I had let my anxiety get the better of me. I was also resisting the urge to grab her and never let her go.

Bo sat down next to me, our shoulders touching, "i have been trying to find my way to you." she looked over at me, it was the first time I saw her smile and it was genuine and happy because there was no lingering fear behind it. "you know that this lakefront loop is miles long?" She reached into her pocket and pulled out the wrinkled piece of paper that I had written, meet me where the sun and water become one. I smiled at it as Bo folded it back up, "i had to ask Alex what it meant. He told me that this is where you sometimes sit and watch the sun set."

I looked out into the lake, "when the sun sets into the lake, they both become one." I paused and looked at her, Bo had her hair up, she was dressed in her usual pantsuit, she wore sunglasses but I could feel her eyes bore into me. "i thought you would still be in D.C." my voice was softer as it resonated at how much I missed her over the last three days, my trust issues be damned when I looked at her, all I wanted was her close. I was also rethinking my agreement with Agent Carlisle.

Bo nodded, "i have been reassigned, Alex also told me I would find my new partner down here." Bo's voice had a twinge of humor as she continued, "i am hoping its just one case and then I can go back to solo work."

I stared blankly at her. "what?"

Bo held out her hand, "Hi, I am Agent Ysabeau McCorrigan, SAC in charge of the new BSU unit project here in Chicago, you must be Captain Lauren Lewis. Its nice to meet you."

I stood up, "wait. I don't understand."

Bo stood up and moved closer to me, "Agent Carlisle gave me the same deal she gave you, two years and we are both out to live our lives, together." Bo grabbed my hand, "those her words exactly. Seems she fell in love with one of her partners back when she was a new agent, it was her idea to bring us together and keep us on. Win win for her?"

I looked down at Bo's hand in mine, "why are we doing this? Continuing to work in the minds of monsters?"

Bo stepped closer to me, "because if we do, we may stop other Ethan's and Sarah'sy, and because its the only thing we know how to do, aside from love each other." She ran a hand down my face, stopping at my jawline. "and the last because is, after two years we can move to wherever you want to go to medical school and live."

I sighed, "you know I hate having partners." Bo just nodded and kissed me, pulling me against her. When she pulled away, she whispered, "i love you, partner. You wont be able to shake me lose as easily as before." I sighed and held her closer, "i never really tried that hard." I closed my eyes as I felt her heartbeat with mine, "Bo, how do you feel about having a man as a roommate?"

I could feel her smile against my chest, "Alex already gave me an extra set of keys." I pulled her closer to me, "i love you Ysabeau." she squeezed me harder as I whispered it in her ear. I looked out in the lake and watched as the waves seemed to echo the sense of calm that came over the both of us, they became calm and motionless and seemed to sit with as we held each other. For the first time in my life, my heart let go of the tension it had carried for a far too long. I smiled as I knew it was all because of the woman I held in my arms.

**That's the end, I know its a little bleh. but it sets up the sequel. which will basically be another chapter that follows this. The two will embark on some cold cases that lead them into unique places and people similar to ethan. it will also develop their relationship and test them as lauren deals with the aftermath of everything. I will be working on the stranger series for a little while as I flesh out this sequel. at least I left a happy ending! as alaways, thank you all for reading this story and the comments! I look forward to writing more for you all to enjoy!**


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